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HisLittlePinaY

Embarased

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We are getting married in August and i get my dress fitting this weekend with my fiance mom. i am really excited to be wearing it but i am worried to be at the mall with her and to be standing still for so long because i have an incontinance problem. It didnt use to be so bad but since i come over here it is really bad. Most times i am at home when it happen but i was in the mall 2 weeks ago and in the fitting room trying on clothes when i look down i see a big mess. i was so embarased i started crying and run out of the store.

im so worried that it will happen at my fitting and i dont want my fiance mom to see. But Im really worried if it happen at my wedding in front of family. My fiance knows i have bad stomach sometimes but i dont tell him how often it happen as i worry what he say. I dont want my fiancé mom to know i have problem but i dont want her to think i not want her to come because she already think I not like her.

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Have you looked into incontinence pads?

I think you should be able to find them near the 'feminine hygiene' products aisles.


03/27/2009: Engaged in Ithaca, New York.
08/17/2009: Wedding in Calcutta, India.
09/29/2009: I-130 NOA1
01/25/2010: I-130 NOA2
03/23/2010: Case completed.
05/12/2010: CR-1 interview at Mumbai, India.
05/20/2010: US Entry, Chicago.
03/01/2012: ROC NOA1.
03/26/2012: Biometrics completed.
12/07/2012: 10 year card production ordered.

09/25/2013: N-400 NOA1

10/16/2013: Biometrics completed

12/03/2013: Interview

12/20/2013: Oath ceremony

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Tell your MIL that you have a medical disability so she will not think the way you behave is because of her. You will be surprised how understanding people can be if you give them a chance. She will probably be able to offer you information on ways to control it as there are many over-the-counter products you can use. You should also look into seeing a physician to help out with this. You are already going through so much. You shouldn't have to have this as an additional worry. Good luck. (F)


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I agree. You should pull your Mother-in-Law aside and tell her your problem. Unless she is a real monster, I am sure she will be sympathetic and offer to help you. This is a medical issue and everyone has different ones. You need to treat it as such, and not be so hard on yourself. If people don't know what is going on, they will misread your actions.

Have fun trying on your dress, just use a pad and enjoy the experience instread of getting upset over it. It should be a happy moment for you.


07/04/08 Met each other at a friends party & began dating

12/05/09 trip to Australia

01/29/10 Last entry on B2 - I-94 into US

05/15/10 Get married - wohooo

06/28/10 Submit package via Fed-Ex to Chicago Lockbox includingI-130,I-485 (w/I 683 & I 864) I-131, I-765 & F-1145

06/30/10 Package signed for at 11:58am

07/07/10 Received 7 texts & emails for NOAs

07/08/10 Check cashed for I-485

07/09/10 Check cashed for I-130

07/12/10 Received hardcopy NOA's for I-130, I-485, I-131 & I-765

07/23/10 Touched I-130, I-131, I-765

07/30/10 Visit Congressman's office to ask for help expedating EAD

08/10/10 Service Request through uscis for biometrics sent (told to wait 30 days)

08/14/10 Received Biometrics Appt for Sept 7

08/17/10 Failed walk-in Biometrics at Chula Vista. Very busy, advised to try San Marcos office

08/17/10 Successful walk-in Biometrics at San Marcos Office

08/17/10 First touch ever on I-485 and EAD touched

08/24/10 Touched and e-mail EAD and AP approved

08/31/10 AP arrived

09/03/10 EAD and Interview letter (10/09) arrived

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I am guessing you can medically have that fixed...not really sure but I saw a program on PBS that talked about it..inmost cases it can be fixed. Hope all works out for the best.


04/02/2010 I-129f Sent

04/06/2010 I-129f Received

04/07/2010 NOA1

04/09/2010 Touched and check cashed

06/14/2010 Touched!!

06/14/2010 I-129f Approved!!

09/1/2010 Interview Approved!!

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We are getting married in August and i get my dress fitting this weekend with my fiance mom. i am really excited to be wearing it but i am worried to be at the mall with her and to be standing still for so long because i have an incontinance problem. It didnt use to be so bad but since i come over here it is really bad. Most times i am at home when it happen but i was in the mall 2 weeks ago and in the fitting room trying on clothes when i look down i see a big mess. i was so embarased i started crying and run out of the store.

im so worried that it will happen at my fitting and i dont want my fiance mom to see. But Im really worried if it happen at my wedding in front of family. My fiance knows i have bad stomach sometimes but i dont tell him how often it happen as i worry what he say. I dont want my fiancé mom to know i have problem but i dont want her to think i not want her to come because she already think I not like her.

How does your fiance react when you "go" without warning? Just curious.

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:blink:

K1 Journey:

Filed: 2009-01-12... USCIS Approved: 2009-06-05... 1st Interview/Admin Review: 2009-09-09...2nd Interview/Approved: 2010-01-27

AOS Journey:

Filed: 2010-05-20... Interview: 2010-11-30... Approved: 2010-12-03... Card Rcvd: 2010-12-18...

Whew! Done!.... Well, for the next two years anyway...

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Thank you i really looking forward to the fitting today. The dress is really pretty. well i saw the doctor and he say I need to have surgery to fix weakend muscles. problem is that if i have the surgery that my wedding get delayed and we only have a month on K1.

I sorry this so embarasing!!

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The fact that you were able to come on this site and share this with people shows you really want help. Like others have said there are things found in the feminine hygyine aisles to assist you with this and the fact that you sought medical attention means you want to be helped. Sorry you are going through so much during a time thats meant to be a happy time in your life, but as others have said, you just need to talk to your MIL, I think she would understand...Congratulations to you on your big day and getting the help you need! Best wishes for a happy and healthy life. Don't be embarrassed! Welcome to the United States! (F)(L)

Also, I think you should wait until after the wedding and just wear protection (pads) on your big day!

Edited by MRStee

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Tell your MIL that you have a medical disability so she will not think the way you behave is because of her. You will be surprised how understanding people can be if you give them a chance. She will probably be able to offer you information on ways to control it as there are many over-the-counter products you can use. You should also look into seeing a physician to help out with this. You are already going through so much. You shouldn't have to have this as an additional worry. Good luck. (F)

This is a very compassionate post krikit :star:

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My fitting not go well. :( :( i was standing a long time and i feel warm feeling and bad smell. i mess up my dress in front of fiance mom! she was not happy and she yell that i embaras her and she make me cry. Dress was really expensive and it ruined, man say we must pay and i not know what to say to fiance. His mom already call to him and i think he really angry and not want to talk to me! i feel so bad like i ruin wedding and we have to cancel honeymoon to pay for new dress. i so embarased with this i only 26 not old woman i not know why this happen!

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My fitting not go well. :( :( i was standing a long time and i feel warm feeling and bad smell. i mess up my dress in front of fiance mom! she was not happy and she yell that i embaras her and she make me cry. Dress was really expensive and it ruined, man say we must pay and i not know what to say to fiance. His mom already call to him and i think he really angry and not want to talk to me! i feel so bad like i ruin wedding and we have to cancel honeymoon to pay for new dress. i so embarased with this i only 26 not old woman i not know why this happen!

I am sorry for you i'm sure if you will see to a doctor you will be fine.....i cant imagine having that when you are travelling...

CR-1 Visa

Event Date

Service Center : California Service Center

Consulate : Manilla, Philipines

We get married: (L) 2008-10-24

I-130 Sent : 2009-08-01

I-130 NOA1 : 2009-09-09

I-130 RFE : 2009-09-26

I-130 RFE Sent : 2009-10-01

I-130 Approved : 2009-10-24

NVC Received : 2009-10-28

Received DS-3032 / I-864 Bill : 2009-11-02

Pay I-864 Bill 2009-11-03

Receive I-864 Package : 2009-11-04

Return Completed DS-3032 : 2009-11-21

Receive IV Bill : 2009-12-02

Pay IV Bill : 2010-01-06

Receive Instruction Package : 2010-01-14

Case Completed at NVC : 2010-04-06

SIGN IN FAILED: 2010-04-12

Consulate Received : 2010-04-26

Packet 4 Received : 2010-04-20

Interview Date : 2010-06-02 Submit Review

Interview Result : Administrative Review

Visa Received : 2010-06-17

US Entry : 2010-06-24 (SAN FRANCISCO)

Comments : HAPPILY MARRIED.... (L):)

Edited by wilgrace

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I am sorry that you had to go through the embarassment but I think you did not take much advice from the posters here who took the time out of their day to give you some helpful suggestions like using a pad. How difficult would that have been? I guess its a bit late for that now. Hopefully you will get some and use them too till you have the surgery. Good Luck!

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I don't want to be harsh on you but a couple of questions come to mind about taking personal responsibility.

First, you were given some great suggestions such as use Heavy Strength Pad or Pantie Liner (they do make then for incontinence) or use an "Adult Diaper" type product like Depends brand. Either of these would have contained the incident.

Second, why were you trying on a dress that was so far outside of your budget? Even without your issue there is always a chance that something could happen to the dress while you're wearing it and you'd have to pay for it.

Doing either of these differently would have lessened the severity of the situation.

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