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The trouble is that the 90 days you get with K1 is really not enough to decide whether or not you really want to get married if you don't really know the person that well (and IMHO you can't really know a person until you've lived with them for a while).

The K1 is not a 'try it and see' visa. 90 days is plenty of time to get married which what the K1 is granted for. If you don't really know the person that well, why would you want to marry them?

Not a judgement on any poster here by the way, just a general comment.

To the OP: Follow your instincts. If you feel insecure about marriage, do not do it!

Met the ole man in January 1998

Jan. 2004: K1 visa issued ~ April 2004: Got on a plane ~ Nov. 2004: GC in my mucky hands ~ Dec. 2006: Received 10 YR GC

September 2008 - US passport delivered!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

Yeah I have the same philosophy about marriages I do about getting a tattoo: when in doubt, don't, after all it's something for life. But that's my opinion, I don't want in any way to tell you what to do, you should really follow your heart and you'll know what's best for you, after all it's your life.

Good luck on whatever you decide.

Nessa (F)



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

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The K1 is not a 'try it and see' visa. 90 days is plenty of time to get married which what the K1 is granted for. If you don't really know the person that well, why would you want to marry them?

I'm fully aware of the *intent* of the K1 visa, but I'm also fully aware, as I'm sure you are too, that many people come in through K1 after only visiting their partner a few times and having a long distance relationship with them. Often they may think they want to marry that person, but after living with them for 90 days, they're not too sure. People get "unengaged" (if that is a word) all the time after all.

Unfortunately there isn't a "get to know you" visa that allows someone to come live with you for a bit to see if you want to get married, so most people will end up going the K1 route and jumping into marriage too early because they've given up too much to come here on the K1 *not* to go through with it.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

You truly need to follow your heart and only get married if you really feel that's the best thing to do for both of you. If not, I would return to your home country and maybe reflect on your time together in the U.S. and see if you feel differently when you are apart.

Don't get married because you "have" to.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

"THE SHORT STORY"

KURT & RAYMA (K-1 Visa)

Oct. 9/03... I-129F sent to NSC

June 10/04... K-1 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

July 31/04... Entered U.S.

Aug. 28/04... WEDDING DAY!!!!

Aug. 30/04... I-485, I-765 & I-131 sent to Seattle

Dec. 10/04... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport stamped)

Sept. 9/06... I-751 sent to NSC

May 15/07... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Sept. 13/07... N-400 sent to NSC

Aug. 21/08... Interview - PASSED!!!!

Sept. 2/08... Oath Ceremony

Sept. 5/08... Sent in Voter Registration Card

Sept. 9/08... SSA office to change status to "U.S. citizen"

Oct. 8/08... Applied in person for U.S. Passport

Oct. 22/08... U.S. Passport received

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!

KAELY (K-2 Visa)

Apr. 6/05... DS-230, Part I faxed to Vancouver Consulate

May 26/05... K-2 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

Sept. 5/05... Entered U.S.

Sept. 7/05... I-485 & I-131 sent to CLB

Feb. 22/06... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport NOT stamped)

Dec. 4/07... I-751 sent to NSC

May 23/08... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Mar. 22/11.... N-400 sent to AZ

June 27/11..... Interview - PASSED!!!

July 12/11..... Oath Ceremony

We're NOT lawyers.... just your average folks who had to find their own way!!!!! Anything we post here is simply our own opinions/suggestions/experiences and should not be taken as LAW!!!!

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline

I can't see where anyone has addressed the issue of the husband living alone for a long time.

Believe me, I was one of these slugs and although I loved my fiance, wanted her here, and something more from my life I KNEW it was going to be hard as hell on me to get used to having a full time family again.

I even told her long before she came here that I would need her help and understanding to assist me in adjusting EVERYTHING... to adjust my attitude and stuff just so we could survive my own adjustment phase. She too had been single for a number of years, but she was as ready as I was to commit and live together, and had a whole different attitude about it.

The day we got married, neither one of us were in the mood for it. We were NOT having any fun. But we both agreed that if we were going to make it then we had to make the real commitment to each other, which is a heck of a lot more than a 90 day k1 visa. If we didn't, then we'd just divorce and she would go home.

I don't know of anyone who was 100% ready to get married, and did it without any internal reservations as there are no guarantees.

From my own perspective, I had been a royal pain in the ####### for the first 3-7 months of my wife being here. I did not like having to account for every bit of everything that I used to do without accounting to anyone. But that's the cost of getting a ready made family. There were a number of times when we just could not stand each other, but still, we worked through it.

After all is said and done we've come a heck of a long way. We were always willing to try to make it work, but we were NEVER willing to just throw away 3+ years of a relationship because we were having problems like a couple of pouting children mad at their parents over trivial matters. We are a lot stronger in our love and relationship now because we decided to make the commitment of marriage and work through it.

That's my 2 cents.

For real advice: Pack your bags and get ready to get out of this country BEFORE your 90 days are up. You can always come back on another K1 (to the same person), but I don't think you can if you've overstayed your visa! That risk alone is not worth an overstay imo.

Otherwise, make a real commitment and get married on time. If it doesn't work, get divorced and go home. Either way, you will not run afoul of bcis.

Yes Red Foreman, call me a dumbass

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Filed: Country: Canada
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The K1 is not a 'try it and see' visa. 90 days is plenty of time to get married which what the K1 is granted for. If you don't really know the person that well, why would you want to marry them?

I'm fully aware of the *intent* of the K1 visa, but I'm also fully aware, as I'm sure you are too, that many people come in through K1 after only visiting their partner a few times and having a long distance relationship with them. Often they may think they want to marry that person, but after living with them for 90 days, they're not too sure. People get "unengaged" (if that is a word) all the time after all.

Unfortunately there isn't a "get to know you" visa that allows someone to come live with you for a bit to see if you want to get married, so most people will end up going the K1 route and jumping into marriage too early because they've given up too much to come here on the K1 *not* to go through with it.

My personal thoughts on this is....it pays to really get to know someone before you decide to embark on THIS type journey. Communication...not just lovey dovey stuff online....really talking and finding things out about each other. For two years this is all my husband and I had, in between visits. We spent hours, at night, talking to each other, on the phone, using the webcam...it's how we've made it work. No, I'm not saying this should be the standard by which EVERY couple should conduct their relationship. I'm just saying that REAL communication is so vital to making online relationships work once the couple is actually able to live together on a daily basis.

Like I said...just my personal thoughts....

Teaching is the essential profession...the one that makes ALL other professions possible - David Haselkorn

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Algeria
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Welcome to VJ. The only thing i can say is that only you can answer that question. noone can tell you to marry him or not. Especially strangers. good luck.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline

If you are having real doubts about the marriage, don't do it! It's much easier to get a second K1 if you work things out later than it is to get a divorce...

Karen - Melbourne, Australia/John - Florida, USA

- Proposal (20 August 2000) to marriage (19 December 2004) - 4 years, 3 months, 25 days (1,578 days)

STAGE 1 - Applying for K1 (15 September 2003) to K1 Approval (13 July 2004) - 9 months, 29 days (303 days)

STAGE 2A - Arriving in US (4 Nov 2004) to AOS Application (16 April 2005) - 5 months, 13 days (164 days)

STAGE 2B - Applying for AOS to GC Approval - 9 months, 4 days (279 days)

STAGE 3 - Lifting Conditions. Filing (19 Dec 2007) to Approval (December 11 2008)

STAGE 4 - CITIZENSHIP (filing under 5-year rule - residency start date on green card Jan 11th, 2006)

*N400 filed December 15, 2011

*Interview March 12, 2012

*Oath Ceremony March 23, 2012.

ALL DONE!!!!!!!!

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My personal thoughts on this is....it pays to really get to know someone before you decide to embark on THIS type journey. Communication...not just lovey dovey stuff online....really talking and finding things out about each other. For two years this is all my husband and I had, in between visits. We spent hours, at night, talking to each other, on the phone, using the webcam...it's how we've made it work. No, I'm not saying this should be the standard by which EVERY couple should conduct their relationship. I'm just saying that REAL communication is so vital to making online relationships work once the couple is actually able to live together on a daily basis.

Like I said...just my personal thoughts....

This is very good advice. While my wife and I were going through a long distance relationship we spent many hours talking on the phone to each other. I was also lucky enough that I lived in the same country as her, so we could visit each other regularly (we didn't meet online BTW, but when she was visiting my home town for a weekend).

That said, we still had a tough time after moving in together, mainly because I had lived alone for 2-3 years before she moved in with me. It probably took a good few months for us to stop being at each other's throats.

Now everything is hunky dory however, but it was iffy to start with I'll admit.

I'll guess the moral is, a "breaking in" period when moving in together is likely, especially if one of you is used to being alone, its a huge change.

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You don't mention how old you are, or how much life experience you've had in terms of other relationships... you don't need to divulge any of that here... but it's something worth considering for yourself. For some people, it takes a range or relationships before they know what's really right for them. For others, they just know.

Marriage is more than a piece of paper... it's a commitment to be taken very seriously. It means that you are willing to put someone else's interests and happiness before your own... and each of you have to feel that way for it to work, otherwise, one winds up taking the other for granted. The adjustment period of any marriage is difficult... for those os us here, it is exponentially so given the circumstances. If you are both not willing to enter into this commitment 'no matter what', then you are doing the right thing by second-guessing your choice.

If you are unsure now, don't let a simple thing like a calendar force you into something for which you are not ready.

Jen

8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

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Filed: IR-5 Country: United Kingdom
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I think that personally if you have to ask on a public forum, then you have serious doubt in your mind and I think that answers the question.

Sorry that you aren't getting on well with your significant other. Living together is the biggest test to see if a couple are truly compatable together.

If you have doubt in your mind, then I don't think you should marry your partner, but only you can decide that for yourself.

My husband and I met less than a year ago while I was on vacation visiting friends in Texas. I flew back home and a few weeks later he proposed to me. Before we got married, we talked extensively but on the day we were both committed and had no doubt at all in our minds. Sure, we have our disagreements- what couple doesn't?!. We are both very strong-minded and dominant and at times that isn't a good combo, but mostly it works. I suggest you talk to your partner and try and determine what is the best solution for both of you and see if you can have a future together.

I-130 for both parents

March 28th 2013 - Priority date/ NOA 1
November 14th 2013 - Transferred to Nebraska Service Center

January 7th 2014 - Case changed online to approved for both

January 8th 2014 - case changed to shipped to NVC

January 9th 2014 - case changed to NOA 2 mailed

January 10th 2014 - Received the hardcopy of the NOA 2 stating that NVC would issue a case number in 30 days approx.

January 21st 2014 - Case Received at NVC

February 26th 2014 - Case numbers and IIN number received - Wrong embassy code assigned...now waiting for new case numbers.

March 3rd 2014 - Filled in DS-261 for both parents

March 5th 2014- AOS available, paid and submitted AOS packet.

March 6th 2014 - USPS shows packet was delivered at NVC

March 10th 2014 - AOS shows as paid in the CEAC portal/AOS logged into system as being received by NVC.

March 11th 2014 - New case number assigned for my Dad.

March 20th 2014 - Paid IV fee for my Mum.

March 25th 2014 - AOS accepted by NVC with no checklist.

March 26th 2014 - Filled in and submitted DS-260 for my Mum

March 31st 2014 - AOS found in my Mum's file for my Dad - accepted and placed into his file/IV fee available for my Dad and Paid.

April 1st - Mailed all civil documents to NVC for both parents.

April 3rd: IV fee shows as paid in portal/submitted DS-260 for my Dad.

April 22nd: checklist issued for civil documents - NVC error ...

April 23rd: sent another certified copy of my marriage certificate

April 24th: Case complete! :)

April 30th 2014 - Medical scheduled for parents at Knightsbridge in London

June 11th: Interview at London Embassy - Approved :)

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it's always posters like this that pour their heart out and then never come back ...

almost makes me think it's someone we know ...

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Faith: not wanting to know what is true.~Nietzsche~

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.”

~Winston Churchill~

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it's always posters like this that pour their heart out and then never come back ...

almost makes me think it's someone we know ...

I was thinking along the same lines, Gimy... wouldn't we figure it out, though, if the someone we knew suddenly called it off? There've been quite a few of these 'post and go' types recently...

Jen

8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Peru
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yeah whatever happened? Did they get married, did they return to Peru? Are they just another of the 20 million illegal aliens?

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In accordance with Georgia law, "The Georgia Security and Immigration Compliance Act," I am required to display the following in any and all languages that I may give immigration related advise:

'I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY LICENSED TO PRACTICE LAW AND MAY NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE OR ACCEPT FEES FOR LEGAL ADVICE.'

"NO SOY ABOGADO LICENCIADO PRACTICAR LEY Y NO PUEDO DOY ASESORAMIENTO JURÍDICO O ACEPTO LOS HONORARIOS PARA El ASESORAMIENTO JURÍDICO."

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Filed: Other Timeline

it's always posters like this that pour their heart out and then never come back ...

almost makes me think it's someone we know ...

I was thinking along the same lines, Gimy... wouldn't we figure it out, though, if the someone we knew suddenly called it off? There've been quite a few of these 'post and go' types recently...

Jen

If it is someone we know, she should know that we are worried about her, about him, and that our door is always open.........

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