Interview scheduled - husband is not going

[Optimist 0]

Hello, everyone.

Filed joint petition for removal of condition in may 2009. Vermont SC. In September changed the address. After that my case was not touched. Made an inquiry request, got a letter, saying that my case was forwarded to local office for interview. Interview is not scheduled yet.

I do not live with my husband since August because of moral abuse. He is marijuana-smoker and it is inacceptable for me. He threatened to kill me if I leave him and I filed the Police report. They arrested him but I did not proceed charges against him and the case was dismissed. Meanwhile he went to family court and took and order of protection against me. He lied there that I was screaming at him, throwing things at him and many other things (he just checked all the boxes in the order of protection petition). I have proof that he was lying, as the day when he said that happened he was at work, but he forgot about it. Anyway, he recalled the petition in a month, but I do not know whether it is on my record or not. We have a baby together born this year. I have full physical custody. I work full time and obtain my Master degree. I hoped to get green card without the interview, but I was unlucky here and now don't know what to do.

We are not divorced and the papers are not even filed yet. In New York we need a ground for divorce, the easiest of which is to live separately for 1 year. My husband told me that he will not agree to uncontested divorce and it will cost me a lot, because he wants to make my life miserable. I even think he wants to file for divorce on the ground of inhuman treatment. What he is going to say there - I don't know. Lie, as usual. I don't have extra money for lawyers, I better spend them on my baby. He has his whole family here, all his relatives. And he is trying to diminish me now. I am alone with the baby here, and although I am an optimistic person, sometimes I get desperate. I can not afford to stay without work authorization even for 1 day. I hardly found a job recently in this recession time. So, I don't know what to do now with my papers. My status was extended until May 17th of 2010 by NOA. If I go for an interview alone they most likely will reject removal of condition and until I refile I'll be not allowed to work.

So, I was thinking on refiling the papers now, before they scheduled interview, and to request an abuse waiver. I already wrote long letter about my whole 3-year life in here. But the abuse was moral and I know that it is hard to prove it. Also, I don't know whether they'll se my restraining order and whether it will play against me.

Maybe I should go for that interview and explain them all this and ask what should I do? But again, in this case I am afraid to stay out of status even for 1 day.

Please, advice. My husband dreams about me staying out of status. When I ask him to sign the paper, that the baby will go with me back to Russia, if he doesn't want me to stay here, he says no. His mother told me several times that if I leave him, I'll never see my baby again. My baby is everything I have in my life. I can't imagine my life without seeing her. It's intolerable cruelty to separate me from the baby.

What should I do?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Get a lawyer. Your joint petition to remove conditions will not be approved without your husband's cooperation. If you refile asking for an abuse waiver then you're going to need evidence of the abuse. If you refile based on divorce then you're going to need a final divorce decree before it will be approved. If you aren't divorced yet then removal proceedings may begin, but you can ask the immigration judge to postpone the proceedings until the divorce is final, but that won't be granted if you haven't filed for the divorce yet.

Your status should be extended as long as you have a petition pending, but you first need to decide which route you're going to try to pursue. Personally, I think the divorce waiver would be easier, since you might have a hard time with the abuse evidence. Get a good lawyer quick.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

You have to file for Divorce. You can Self Petition yourself, as long as you show that your relationship was in good faith. Sounds like you have that proof, but they will not allow for removal unless you have the devorce degree.

[Optimist 0]

He said he will not give me easy divorce. I New York I can not file for divorce without reason. It can be either inhuman treatment (which I will also have to prove, and it may take several years and I will need a lawyer here), absense of sex for 1 year, abandonment of spouse for 1 year or separation for 1 year, or adultery, but the third person must witness it. So, I don't have many options here. I'll be able to file for divorce only next August on the ground of abandonment for 1 year. And again, my husband told it will not be easy for me to divorce.

Isn't the fact that he is manipulating me with the papers abuse?

I don't know how to prove moral abuse, but looks like this is the only thing that I can do.

If they reject my abuse application will I be able to refile based on divorce then?

Just I read here, that one girl went to the interview alone, and said that they have hardship with husband and she hopes to get back to him, and she got her card. So, I thought may be there is same possibility for me...

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Initiate the divorce process. They will give you an extenion for you to prove the decree. I am not farmiliar with the hardship.

He said he will not give me easy divorce. I New York I can not file for divorce without reason. It can be either inhuman treatment (which I will also have to prove, and it may take several years and I will need a lawyer here), absense of sex for 1 year, abandonment of spouse for 1 year or separation for 1 year, or adultery, but the third person must witness it. So, I don't have many options here. I'll be able to file for divorce only next August on the ground of abandonment for 1 year. And again, my husband told it will not be easy for me to divorce.

Isn't the fact that he is manipulating me with the papers abuse?

I don't know how to prove moral abuse, but looks like this is the only thing that I can do.

If they reject my abuse application will I be able to refile based on divorce then?

Just I read here, that one girl went to the interview alone, and said that they have hardship with husband and she hopes to get back to him, and she got her card. So, I thought may be there is same possibility for me...

[Darnell 8,478]

there is difference between 'filing' and 'granting', ya?

Filing the divorce gets the ball rolling...

I suggest you file.

There are free legal aid folk in your community - go find them.

He cannot take your baby, you cannot take his baby - that baby belongs to both of you - and to prove up sole custody during the divorce hearing will be difficult for either of you.

I stay stick with the masters program for now - and go talk to some of the counselors at the health center - they have outreach programs for battered women, with really good legal referrals which NORMALLY cost nothing.

But you have to do yer own research. Hope it all works out.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

He said he will not give me easy divorce. I New York I can not file for divorce without reason. It can be either inhuman treatment (which I will also have to prove, and it may take several years and I will need a lawyer here), absense of sex for 1 year, abandonment of spouse for 1 year or separation for 1 year, or adultery, but the third person must witness it. So, I don't have many options here. I'll be able to file for divorce only next August on the ground of abandonment for 1 year. And again, my husband told it will not be easy for me to divorce.

Isn't the fact that he is manipulating me with the papers abuse?

I don't know how to prove moral abuse, but looks like this is the only thing that I can do.

If they reject my abuse application will I be able to refile based on divorce then?

Just I read here, that one girl went to the interview alone, and said that they have hardship with husband and she hopes to get back to him, and she got her card. So, I thought may be there is same possibility for me...

New York is a tough state to get a divorce in. To prove absence of sex, you have to prove you made repeated requests for sex but were denied. Only the spouse who remained in the marital home can claim abandonment. If you voluntarily left the marital home, then you can't claim abandonment, but he can. Separation requires a separation agreement. The other options you've already stated require proof you don't have.

I guess you could consider moving to another state that has "no fault" divorce (New York is the only state that does not), stay long enough to establish residency, and then file for divorce there.

In the meantime, you can withdraw your joint petition and refile based on divorce. When USCIS gets around to adjudicating your petition they will send you an RFE for the divorce decree. This will probably be 6 to 8 months later. If you don't have the divorce decree by then (you probably won't), USCIS will initiate removal proceedings. At that point, you can ask the immigration judge to postpone the proceedings until the divorce is final.

But you should still get a lawyer.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

The way I see it, I'm afraid the O.P. will have a hard time getting a divorce decree, even taking in consideration the newly implemented rules which grant "another" 9 months to finish off the I-751.

Therefore, and only for practical reasons I am just thinking loud here, in an admittedly naive way.

She and her husband filed jointly for ROC in good faith in May.

Many months later, they are having problems, but many couples go through such times and eventually reconcile, don't they? Therefore, it's understandable that she and her husband are trying to work this out. After all, divorcing the father of her child is not something that should be taken lightly and certainly not something that should be done before trying everything else first.

Will there even be an interview? Why would there be one?

If, and only if an interview is being scheduled, the I.O. is forced to go the route of divorce "prematurely," if they have not been able to reconcile by then.

If there's no interview, she's perfectly in her right to hold back and work on their relationship, for as long as it takes. Should the I-751 be approved and she files for divorce a while later, that would be too bad.

Again, just thinking out loud . . .

[Optimist 0]

Just quick answers:

1)I have FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY ALREADY. Legal is joint.

2) My case was sent to the local office and they said that interview will be scheduled.

3) I can not move to another state because I work here and study here. And I am not sure whether my husband will let me take the baby even to NJ.

4) Actually, on the grounds of absense of sex it is easy to divorce, but both spouses should agree to it. My husband already had a divorce on that ground. But he will not agree. This is the problem.

[Optimist 0]

I had constant moral abuse. I was not allowed to go to friends, I was not allowed to use the car, because he was saying, that I do not fill the tank (although he fills it on our joint money), I was doing EVERYTHING around the house. We were coming home after work together, he was relaxing and watching TV, and I was cooking, washing, cleaning e t.c. And after he could say in front of his relatives, that I never clean, cook, wash, and his mother would believe him and give me a lecture about women's responsibilities. He did not want to work, and the next day after I got back to work after 5 weeks of maternity leave, he said he was "laid off". And he was very happy about that. Also I must say that I earned more than him. But stil he says that it is his money, and I could not even buy my mother a birthday gift, because he said: why should you buy your mother smth? she is not inviting us to a restaurant! I will not even describe what I heard from him when I wanted to pay for my mother's air fare to visit me. And it was at the time when he did not work at all and did not have any income. I must also say, that he was telling me: you will never see your mother again. I will do everything that they do not let her in the US, and he will not let our daughter to go visit her in Russia. That means that I will not go there either. Because I would never go alone. And you know what he did? When my mother was already in the airport waiting for her returning flight, he called the cops and accused her in kidnapping! I was already home with the baby, and she called me and said that I was shocked! I talked to the Police, and they said they'll just make a report that they did not find the baby with her. My mother does not speak English. Now I don't know whether my mother will get another visa because of it.

And to everything, he is addicted to marijuana, although he says he is not. He is very nervos and agressive when he doesn't smoke, blames me with everything. He screams at me if I drop the cup and God forbid brake it, if HE droppes smth he still blames me, or at least make me a scene "life is miserable". Oh! I remembered one moment of his inedequate behavior (that's a pity I did not have a dairy). He used to download tons of movies and programmes from torrents and to save it on hard drives. I never understood why he was doing it, because we never watched what he downloaded, but that doesn't matter. So, he was at work at night shift. The laptop was working 24/7, and one night I was so tired with the baby, and couldn't fall asleep, and the noice of the laptop annoyed me. So, I called him and said that I'll close the laptop because it annoys me tonight. OMG!!! I could not understand what happened for a long period of time. He was almost crying, saying: why did you do this for me? Why you make my life miserable? I work at night, and you want to close my laptop? For what????? I know, you don't love me.

You, guys, just can't imagine what was over there. By the way, after I had the baby and got back to work, he worked only 3 days a week, and that was all he did. He did not decide to help me with household responcibilities, he did not decide to give me even moral support. All he did was smoking, playing cards with his friends until 4 a.m., and screeming at me in between that the baby was scared.

It's only a small part of all that happened. And I can not live with him anymore. Aren't they human there in USCIS? I already regret the whole marriage thing, but can not rewind. If they give me my baby with me - I'll leave the country and forget it all as a bad dream. But without my baby I will leave only in a cuffin. And he was telling me : you are not the only one who got the baby. Many women have babies. So what?

[meowmeowmeow 0]

http://www.lawhelp.org/NY/StateSubTopics.c...gif/bAllState/0

http://www.justice.gov/eoir/probono/freelglchtNY.htm

http://www.legal-aid.org/en/whatwedo/civil...ionlawunit.aspx

http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/fre...d-new-york.html

http://www.ptla.org/links/services.htm

i am sorry to hear what you are going through try also to find russian attorneys and help in your area...maybe in brighton beach? i don't know where in NY you are, but if you are in NYC, you can try there...lots of russians...

hope it works out...will post again if i think of or know someone who may help you (i've been working in law firms for a while now, so i will ask around in my circle...)

[Jamaican JNR 2]

You have to file for Divorce. You can Self Petition yourself, as long as you show that your relationship was in good faith. Sounds like you have that proof, but they will not allow for removal unless you have the devorce degree.

good answer

[MRStee 19]

I don't know how to help you but I pray you find comfort and get out of this situation. Keep us posted. I don't know people go through all of this and end up acting this way. The immigration process is by no means easy. I just don't get people sometimes! Best of luck sweetie

[Enlighten one :) 5]

If the interview is not scheduled officially you still might get an automatic approval. This is common considering the back log. Unless your so revokes the petition himself.

I have read stories where women who figured out their SO was scamming them and they did not show up for the interview and the person was still awarded the Perm GC.

The way I see it, I'm afraid the O.P. will have a hard time getting a divorce decree, even taking in consideration the newly implemented rules which grant "another" 9 months to finish off the I-751.

Therefore, and only for practical reasons I am just thinking loud here, in an admittedly naive way.

She and her husband filed jointly for ROC in good faith in May.

Many months later, they are having problems, but many couples go through such times and eventually reconcile, don't they? Therefore, it's understandable that she and her husband are trying to work this out. After all, divorcing the father of her child is not something that should be taken lightly and certainly not something that should be done before trying everything else first.

Will there even be an interview? Why would there be one?

If, and only if an interview is being scheduled, the I.O. is forced to go the route of divorce "prematurely," if they have not been able to reconcile by then.

If there's no interview, she's perfectly in her right to hold back and work on their relationship, for as long as it takes. Should the I-751 be approved and she files for divorce a while later, that would be too bad.

Again, just thinking out loud . . .

[Joseph and Tsion 0]

Hello, everyone.

Filed joint petition for removal of condition in may 2009. Vermont SC. In September changed the address. After that my case was not touched. Made an inquiry request, got a letter, saying that my case was forwarded to local office for interview. Interview is not scheduled yet.

I do not live with my husband since August because of moral abuse. He is marijuana-smoker and it is inacceptable for me. He threatened to kill me if I leave him and I filed the Police report. They arrested him but I did not proceed charges against him and the case was dismissed. Meanwhile he went to family court and took and order of protection against me. He lied there that I was screaming at him, throwing things at him and many other things (he just checked all the boxes in the order of protection petition). I have proof that he was lying, as the day when he said that happened he was at work, but he forgot about it. Anyway, he recalled the petition in a month, but I do not know whether it is on my record or not. We have a baby together born this year. I have full physical custody. I work full time and obtain my Master degree. I hoped to get green card without the interview, but I was unlucky here and now don't know what to do.

We are not divorced and the papers are not even filed yet. In New York we need a ground for divorce, the easiest of which is to live separately for 1 year. My husband told me that he will not agree to uncontested divorce and it will cost me a lot, because he wants to make my life miserable. I even think he wants to file for divorce on the ground of inhuman treatment. What he is going to say there - I don't know. Lie, as usual. I don't have extra money for lawyers, I better spend them on my baby. He has his whole family here, all his relatives. And he is trying to diminish me now. I am alone with the baby here, and although I am an optimistic person, sometimes I get desperate. I can not afford to stay without work authorization even for 1 day. I hardly found a job recently in this recession time. So, I don't know what to do now with my papers. My status was extended until May 17th of 2010 by NOA. If I go for an interview alone they most likely will reject removal of condition and until I refile I'll be not allowed to work.

So, I was thinking on refiling the papers now, before they scheduled interview, and to request an abuse waiver. I already wrote long letter about my whole 3-year life in here. But the abuse was moral and I know that it is hard to prove it. Also, I don't know whether they'll se my restraining order and whether it will play against me.

Maybe I should go for that interview and explain them all this and ask what should I do? But again, in this case I am afraid to stay out of status even for 1 day.

Please, advice. My husband dreams about me staying out of status. When I ask him to sign the paper, that the baby will go with me back to Russia, if he doesn't want me to stay here, he says no. His mother told me several times that if I leave him, I'll never see my baby again. My baby is everything I have in my life. I can't imagine my life without seeing her. It's intolerable cruelty to separate me from the baby.

What should I do?

I dont know. i dont know the full story and the dynamics of your relationship. always 2 sides of the story