Brazilian fiancé out of status

[wowswift 3]

I fell in love with my husband via the internet and telephone. But it was nerve-wracking, TBH. I questioned whether or not it would translate to real life.

It did.

As did I. I had been posting on a forum for the rock group Rush for a few months. My (now) hubby had Googled something about Rush's guitarist and ended up on the same forum. He had never even been on a forum before, but started posting there. (Intervention of fates, I'd say!) He amused me, I amused him - I sent him a PM asking him if he had a Yahoo ID, including in that message what he now describes as a 'cute blushing emote' - the rest is history.

Sorta same here, except we both post on a poker forum for online poker. Knew of him for a bit or so, thought he hated me because we were playing at the same table in a tournament and he kept reraising me and putting me on tilt. Faster forward months later, I get an xbox and GOW. Did a search on the website of people who had the xbox and added them to my buddy list, he was one of them. We talked all the time, msn, xbox, pm's on the website, and then i just took off to Canada and we've never been apart since a day since. which is crazy, im surprised we don't kill each other lololol But of course I will have life long attempts at bad beating him at poker oh and throw in a couple chainsaws in GOW2 and betrayals in Halo

Edited October 9, 2009 by wowswift

[Ban Hammer 12,863]

I fell in love with my husband via the internet and telephone. But it was nerve-wracking, TBH. I questioned whether or not it would translate to real life.

It did.

As did I. I had been posting on a forum for the rock group Rush for a few months. My (now) hubby had Googled something about Rush's guitarist and ended up on the same forum. He had never even been on a forum before, but started posting there. (Intervention of fates, I'd say!) He amused me, I amused him - I sent him a PM asking him if he had a Yahoo ID, including in that message what he now describes as a 'cute blushing emote' - the rest is history.

you like rush?

[morocco4ever 63]

OMG.....look at the relationships that started online, that wasn't specifically searched out? Who could imagine?

That kind of thinking must be stemmed from individuals that don't realize that there are other reasons that people have computers other than looking for an international relationship.

As for my story, I was most certainly not looking for a relationship. I loved single life. When he approached me on a message board I thought he was looking for a visa, so I played with him. I had absolutely no intentions of meeting someone online to marry. But as has been stated here, many of us are not calculating enough to dictate who our hearts choose to fall in love with. I didn't choose to fall in love with someone thousands of miles away. It just happened all on it's own. After 5 years (on the 22nd) of marriage I am even more in love with him. I was sure after my first marriage within the first year that I wanted a divorce. And that was the "normal" 1 year courtship with a man that lived locally.

What seems normal to one person is not always what works best for everyone. I like what RebeccaJo said. Live and let love. It doesn't need to make sense to other people, just the 2 involved.

.

[nycgirl 13]

Nobody chooses internet chat as a substitute for courting. Some people simply have no choice.

You're very fortunate if you were able to do all of those things before getting married. Most of us are not that lucky.

oh, come on, jim. that's like saying mice ate all of those holes in swiss cheese.

nobody is born with a "fiancee". we all choose our spouses. some of us choose people we meet in a street market. some of us choose people we meet on the internet. we all know where the people are before we consider them as mates.

we all have opportunities to meet people face to face, and some of us choose to do so, while others choose not to.

you seem like a very well organised guy. you are very logical in processing information, in general. how you missed the obvious logic in this question would seem an unanswerable question. the truth is that the answer lies within you. i'm sure you already know what it is.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

[nycgirl 13]

Thanks for understanding Bob and also for taking the time to read it.

All I can say is that the more that damn man pissed me off the more I couldn't stop talking to him. He just drove me crazy and he was rude and I couldn't understand why. It was almost like I had to figure him out. One day I got so angry that I decided to stop talking to him and then about a month later I got this really long beautiful letter from him telling me that he couldn't stop thinking about me and that he was in love with me. I felt the same way about him and I was scared. I was only 26 years old and already failed at one marriage. I was afraid to jump into love again and I cried when I finally admitted to myself that I loved him too even if he was a stubborn evil man. I think part of the reason we hated each other so much was because we were trying to stay out of love...

I know that does not make sense, but back then we didn't think it would even be possible to be together. I think we both wanted to push away and love said "screw you both you are going to do this"

And now he has been here for over two years living with me and you know what.. he does not even have one A-HOLE bone in his body hahah he is the nicest most kind man in the universe. I don't know what the heck happened, but I can assure you this... It was definately not intended for me to even get married again let alone fall in love with someone of a specific culture lol.

Thanks for listening I talk too much *hugs

Sweet story!!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

#######??? Judgmental, much????

[morocco4ever 63]

[Danu 19]

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

I certainly didn't go looking for a fiance in the states. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship (I didn't want a new one, men were stupid!) and he was a friend who listened. Met him in a computer game. He went through some ####### that left him single and I listened to him. I already had planned to visit a female friend down in socal, and when he found out how close it was going to be asked if I would mind if he took some vacation time and came down too..Until the moment I met him IRL he was just a really great guy who listened to me without complaint. Those 2 weeks in socal with my friend and my sister and him...and I never wanted to be away from him again for the rest of my life. Not all of us specifically go looking somewhere else. Sometimes you really can't help who you fall in love with. Sometimes the people you meet online end up being the most wonderful people ever and thats just not something you can brush off and say "yeah but see...hes not from my town"

Edited October 14, 2009 by Danu

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Nobody chooses internet chat as a substitute for courting. Some people simply have no choice.

You're very fortunate if you were able to do all of those things before getting married. Most of us are not that lucky.

oh, come on, jim. that's like saying mice ate all of those holes in swiss cheese.

nobody is born with a "fiancee". we all choose our spouses. some of us choose people we meet in a street market. some of us choose people we meet on the internet. we all know where the people are before we consider them as mates.

we all have opportunities to meet people face to face, and some of us choose to do so, while others choose not to.

you seem like a very well organised guy. you are very logical in processing information, in general. how you missed the obvious logic in this question would seem an unanswerable question. the truth is that the answer lies within you. i'm sure you already know what it is.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

Did you even bother to read the conversation? I have to presume from your sweeping generalization that you did not. Justashooter's comment not only missed the target, it missed the broad side of the barn it was hanging on. Like a lemming, you have now followed him off the cliff.

My comment was specifically about people who use the internet to court their fiancee - not about people who shop for relationships on the internet. As many people mentioned in this thread, myself included, they did not "look for relationships on the internet". In my case, I was introduced to my fiancee by a friend I've known for years. If I thought it was appropriate to blame someone for this, I suppose it would be his "fault". What's more, I had never been to Vietnam before that, nor dated a woman from Vietnam, nor corresponded, via the internet or otherwise, with a woman from Vietnam. Many people followed my comments with their own similar stories. Also, being a global medium, when you have a chance encounter with someone on the internet the odds of that person being from a foreign country are very high.

But since you seem to be focused on people who shop for potential brides on the internet, what is the difference between someone who meets girls on the "Filipina Sluts 'R Us" website (apologies to the Filipinas reading this) and someone who takes a 3 month sex tour of the country every year? The internet is a communications medium, and it can be used for nefarious purposes like any other medium. Since some sexual predators like to hang out at shopping malls, would you condemn every relationship that began with an encounter at a shopping mall? Does everyone who is married to a Jamaican automatically have a fetish for Jamaicans?

[Rings 10]

Nobody chooses internet chat as a substitute for courting. Some people simply have no choice.

You're very fortunate if you were able to do all of those things before getting married. Most of us are not that lucky.

oh, come on, jim. that's like saying mice ate all of those holes in swiss cheese.

nobody is born with a "fiancee". we all choose our spouses. some of us choose people we meet in a street market. some of us choose people we meet on the internet. we all know where the people are before we consider them as mates.

we all have opportunities to meet people face to face, and some of us choose to do so, while others choose not to.

you seem like a very well organised guy. you are very logical in processing information, in general. how you missed the obvious logic in this question would seem an unanswerable question. the truth is that the answer lies within you. i'm sure you already know what it is.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

Did you even bother to read the conversation? I have to presume from your sweeping generalization that you did not. Justashooter's comment not only missed the target, it missed the broad side of the barn it was hanging on. Like a lemming, you have now followed him off the cliff.

My comment was specifically about people who use the internet to court their fiancee - not about people who shop for relationships on the internet. As many people mentioned in this thread, myself included, they did not "look for relationships on the internet". In my case, I was introduced to my fiancee by a friend I've known for years. If I thought it was appropriate to blame someone for this, I suppose it would be his "fault". What's more, I had never been to Vietnam before that, nor dated a woman from Vietnam, nor corresponded, via the internet or otherwise, with a woman from Vietnam. Many people followed my comments with their own similar stories. Also, being a global medium, when you have a chance encounter with someone on the internet the odds of that person being from a foreign country are very high.

But since you seem to be focused on people who shop for potential brides on the internet, what is the difference between someone who meets girls on the "Filipina Sluts 'R Us" website (apologies to the Filipinas reading this) and someone who takes a 3 month sex tour of the country every year? The internet is a communications medium, and it can be used for nefarious purposes like any other medium. Since some sexual predators like to hang out at shopping malls, would you condemn every relationship that began with an encounter at a shopping mall? Does everyone who is married to a Jamaican automatically have a fetish for Jamaicans?

Spot on! LOL you crack me up

[morocco4ever 63]

Nobody chooses internet chat as a substitute for courting. Some people simply have no choice.

You're very fortunate if you were able to do all of those things before getting married. Most of us are not that lucky.

oh, come on, jim. that's like saying mice ate all of those holes in swiss cheese.

nobody is born with a "fiancee". we all choose our spouses. some of us choose people we meet in a street market. some of us choose people we meet on the internet. we all know where the people are before we consider them as mates.

we all have opportunities to meet people face to face, and some of us choose to do so, while others choose not to.

you seem like a very well organised guy. you are very logical in processing information, in general. how you missed the obvious logic in this question would seem an unanswerable question. the truth is that the answer lies within you. i'm sure you already know what it is.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Seems like the "Justs".......... Justashooter and Just Bob are laying down some real talk, and people can't handle it. The people who look for relationships on the internet usually have VERY SPECIFIC target countries. If its not your fault that you fiance lives half a world away, who's fault is it???

Did you even bother to read the conversation? I have to presume from your sweeping generalization that you did not. Justashooter's comment not only missed the target, it missed the broad side of the barn it was hanging on. Like a lemming, you have now followed him off the cliff.

My comment was specifically about people who use the internet to court their fiancee - not about people who shop for relationships on the internet. As many people mentioned in this thread, myself included, they did not "look for relationships on the internet". In my case, I was introduced to my fiancee by a friend I've known for years. If I thought it was appropriate to blame someone for this, I suppose it would be his "fault". What's more, I had never been to Vietnam before that, nor dated a woman from Vietnam, nor corresponded, via the internet or otherwise, with a woman from Vietnam. Many people followed my comments with their own similar stories. Also, being a global medium, when you have a chance encounter with someone on the internet the odds of that person being from a foreign country are very high.

But since you seem to be focused on people who shop for potential brides on the internet, what is the difference between someone who meets girls on the "Filipina Sluts 'R Us" website (apologies to the Filipinas reading this) and someone who takes a 3 month sex tour of the country every year? The internet is a communications medium, and it can be used for nefarious purposes like any other medium. Since some sexual predators like to hang out at shopping malls, would you condemn every relationship that began with an encounter at a shopping mall? Does everyone who is married to a Jamaican automatically have a fetish for Jamaicans?

Very well stated. Too bad that people only read what they want to.

[nycgirl 13]

This is hysterical......get over yourselves people.

YES, people do read only what they want to. Like y'all!! Of course I wasn't talking about the people who HAPPEN INTO a relationship while socializing on line. If it doesn't apply to you, don't take it personally. If you'd bother to read MY post, I said PEOPLE WHO LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE!!!!! Those who look on specific sites for specific nationalities. if you are so naive to think it doesn't happen, then all I say is WOW!! This "stereotype" is the worst you've seen on this website? hahahaha I didn't even say there's anything wrong with targeting a specific nationality. Hey, go look on Mars if you're into Martians. I don't care! But please stop complaining about how how you are judged when it comes to immigration. Again, if this doesn't apply to you, who cares. If it does apply, who cares too??

And BTW yes, there are "serial Jamaican daters" There are websites that celebrate that sort of thing. There are women who travel to Jamaica to meet men and who will only date JA men. I was never one of them. Met my husband in New Jersey. Never dated another Jamaican in my life. If anyone stereotypes JA-American relationships, so be it.

[Gemmie 142]

But please stop complaining about how how you are judged when it comes to immigration. Again, if this doesn't apply to you, who cares. If it does apply, who cares too??

I used to care when I got comments from every single person I met once they heard that my boyfriend was American. People used to say that he was a forty year old pervert, that he had countless other girls in the US, that you can't have a relationship that way. And of course that look they give you that says "naive, stupid girl".

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

This is hysterical......get over yourselves people.

YES, people do read only what they want to. Like y'all!! Of course I wasn't talking about the people who HAPPEN INTO a relationship while socializing on line. If it doesn't apply to you, don't take it personally. If you'd bother to read MY post, I said PEOPLE WHO LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE!!!!! Those who look on specific sites for specific nationalities. if you are so naive to think it doesn't happen, then all I say is WOW!! This "stereotype" is the worst you've seen on this website? hahahaha I didn't even say there's anything wrong with targeting a specific nationality. Hey, go look on Mars if you're into Martians. I don't care! But please stop complaining about how how you are judged when it comes to immigration. Again, if this doesn't apply to you, who cares. If it does apply, who cares too??

And BTW yes, there are "serial Jamaican daters" There are websites that celebrate that sort of thing. There are women who travel to Jamaica to meet men and who will only date JA men. I was never one of them. Met my husband in New Jersey. Never dated another Jamaican in my life. If anyone stereotypes JA-American relationships, so be it.

The subject of the conversation between Just Bob, justashooter, and myself was specifically about people who meet their SO's through either chance encounters or introductions by mutual friends, and specifically NOT about people who look for relationships online. You quoted one of my comments, as well as justashooter's response to me, in your original statement. In fact, you specifically thanked him for his statement. I understand his implication that I may have had a choice because I could have chosen someone else. I clearly explained in subsequent posts why there was no choice involved on my part, and others replied with similar stories, which is why I asked if you bothered to read the entire thread. If you were commenting only about people who look for relationships online with people of specific nationalities then you were quoting the wrong conversation, because it had nothing whatever to do with that subject. Anyone reading your comments, after having read the entire thread, would have no option but to think that you were essentially accusing me (and perhaps others) of lying about how we met our SO's.

I don't question that there are people who do exactly as you describe. For pete's sake, there are hundreds of websites dedicated to meeting people of specific nationalities for the purpose of marriage. The conversation you quoted when you made your statement was clearly NOT about those websites nor the people who use them.

[nycgirl 13]

This is hysterical......get over yourselves people.

YES, people do read only what they want to. Like y'all!! Of course I wasn't talking about the people who HAPPEN INTO a relationship while socializing on line. If it doesn't apply to you, don't take it personally. If you'd bother to read MY post, I said PEOPLE WHO LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE!!!!! Those who look on specific sites for specific nationalities. if you are so naive to think it doesn't happen, then all I say is WOW!! This "stereotype" is the worst you've seen on this website? hahahaha I didn't even say there's anything wrong with targeting a specific nationality. Hey, go look on Mars if you're into Martians. I don't care! But please stop complaining about how how you are judged when it comes to immigration. Again, if this doesn't apply to you, who cares. If it does apply, who cares too??

And BTW yes, there are "serial Jamaican daters" There are websites that celebrate that sort of thing. There are women who travel to Jamaica to meet men and who will only date JA men. I was never one of them. Met my husband in New Jersey. Never dated another Jamaican in my life. If anyone stereotypes JA-American relationships, so be it.

The subject of the conversation between Just Bob, justashooter, and myself was specifically about people who meet their SO's through either chance encounters or introductions by mutual friends, and specifically NOT about people who look for relationships online. You quoted one of my comments, as well as justashooter's response to me, in your original statement. In fact, you specifically thanked him for his statement. I understand his implication that I may have had a choice because I could have chosen someone else. I clearly explained in subsequent posts why there was no choice involved on my part, and others replied with similar stories, which is why I asked if you bothered to read the entire thread. If you were commenting only about people who look for relationships online with people of specific nationalities then you were quoting the wrong conversation, because it had nothing whatever to do with that subject. Anyone reading your comments, after having read the entire thread, would have no option but to think that you were essentially accusing me (and perhaps others) of lying about how we met our SO's.

I don't question that there are people who do exactly as you describe. For pete's sake, there are hundreds of websites dedicated to meeting people of specific nationalities for the purpose of marriage. The conversation you quoted when you made your statement was clearly NOT about those websites nor the people who use them.

Got it. I apologize. I was only trying to quote his comment that no one is born with a fiance. Never did I intend to accuse anyone of lying about how they met their SO. Sorry