Where is the depressed forum?

[Malrothien 6]

Bern, you goof, I married hubby when I was 19. Canadian immigration didn't seem to mind.

[Bern. 3]

Bern, you goof, I married hubby when I was 19. Canadian immigration didn't seem to mind.

Very true! Did they grill you though or anything? I heard Canadian Immigration has no interviews. And what sort of questions did they ask? =O

I want to be super prepared! <3 Thanks in advance!

[Malrothien 6]

I didn't have an interview for Canadian immigration - there isn't one.

[Bern. 3]

I didn't have an interview for Canadian immigration - there isn't one.

I thought so. Oh well, I will just pile it all on! And I won't be a jittery mess! It's all in your state of mind after all. xD And I don't think it'll be a big deal because he's military and frankly...being able to see each other when he doesn't have set vacation is BS. D:

Edited November 9, 2009 by Bern.

[meowmeowmeow 0]

It's been a while sense I went on a rant and I'm really feeling depressed tonight. I also miss my husband. Sometimes when I'm looking at his lips on the computer screen I wish I could just reach out and get a kiss. I need one from him so bad. He has started sending me cards in the mail. They are so loving and so romantic. It takes 2 weeks for them to get here. I never felt alone in this big old house until I come home after we got married. I came back from Pakistan in September but I can't bring myself to unpack my suitcase. Everything is still in there except my make-up and wedding dress.

I live in a very small city. Seems like I would have many friends but I don't. People here are very cold. The only real friend I had here just left her husband and moved to a different city and I'm dealing with that loss. I am sad that she left but I understand why she had to do it and I hope she will find the happiness she deserves.

I am lucky in that I get to chat with my husband twice a day on the computer and see his handsome face on the cam but still I miss having his arms around me. I miss waking up in the mornings and seeing him sleeping next to me. There are days when I think I'll go crazy from missing him so much but I try to be strong because my little boy doesn't need to see his mother breaking down. The thing that keeps me going is that I know I will see my husband again when it is time for his interview. I have to be there. I wish I was rich and could just jump on a plane and go see him now but I'm not rich and I need to save my money for the interview.

Anyway I've had my rant and shared this sadness with my VJ family. I feel a little better.

so sorry to hear about your difficulties i am sure that we can all relate somehow but hopefully it will end soon....where are you guys in the process btw?

[mrsemcee 1]

I've been having a tough time lately. I am sure you call all, if not most, relate to it as it is around the CR1 process and being apart from the person you have just recently married.

My hubby and I were lucky to spend 3 months together when married, then 5 more months here in Australia before he had to go back to the USA and now we have been apart since July. Our one year anniversary is in November.

I'm half way through NVC, which some may think is wonderful... but this whole process is totally depressing me and I feel like a different person.

My husband notices a lot and he tries to be good about it via phone and email.. but it's getting harder by the day and I am becoming more and more irritable on the phone or via email and I just feel awful.

When I was with him in America, it was wonderful, and now, back here, on my own, its not. When he was in Australia with me, we both knew it would be hard as my family was pretty upset I went and eloped.. and we knew we had to also tell them we wanted to live in the USA eventually... well it was a trial really.. Hubby may have stayed in Australia, but once we did a bit of living in both countries, we decided the USA was the place for us to start our marriage.

So anyway, my point is, does anyone have ideas on how to overcome this? Its really seriously wrecking my day to day life, my work, my health, my relationship and just everything. I am so depressed and I worry about things which havent even happened yet, I also worry that my husband is sick of my whinging, and that when I get there if he decides to leave me, then what will I do?

I worry because I have always had seperation anxiety from a young age, and even my ####### father who left my mother when I was 13 months old claims that my marriage "wont last" and I am "abandoning my family" - well what did he do?!?!

Anyway I am ranting now.. but I just feel like some days I cant deal with it, and lately, its been every day... and I want to be back where things were good, back in the USA... but will it be good when I get there? Theres nothing telling me it wont, but I am still so very frightened and scared and I just cant cope...

You said a lot of how I am feeling as well. It gets harder each day rather than easier. My husband is having an easier time of it. He just keeps saying how it is gonna be worth it in the end and what a great life we will have but that doesnt help me not miss him like crazy now. We wed in July and I had to go home 4 days later. When we originally booked the trip it was just to be one of my visits not a wedding but we decided to get married that week and I could not stay. We both work full time so we have never had more than a week and a half together. His employer cut back. They didnt do a lay off but they changed everyone's shifts and cut thier pay drastically and consequently we will now be spending our first Christmas as husband and wife and my birthdy and new years apart. I feel completely devastated. I had already planned so much and shopped etc. I was living for that long visit. He is coming for a few days in November for Thanksgiving but he is bringing his mum and my kids will be here as well. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I was so looking forward to it. I wanted us to be through the visa process by now but because of the wait for a London interview I think we will be lucky if he gets here by spring. He was hesitant to sell house at first believing we had lots of time to wait. Now he is ready to sell and the realtor has been dragging his feet since October. So now we migt get the visa and still be apart while he tries to sell the house and must keep working to pay the mortgage. I have been trying to be strong and I've been trying to remain positive but lately I feel so completly overwhelmed. No one understands and people keep saying stupid things to me like when is he coming? or why can't he just sell the house from over here? etc I know he would be here if he could but knowing it dosnt make the nights apart less lonely. Until now we had been seeing each toher about every 2 months whih is more often than lot of couples but still so much less than I need. I miss my best friend. I miss my husband. In a strange way it helps to know that I am not the only woman to feel so out of sorts and to just want this over and our life to begin. I feel like a toddler. I want it nooooowwwww!!! Unfortunately the NVC did not move any quicker when I threatened to hold my breath.

We got a false rfe asking for info I already mailed. Hopefully we will get a case complete and interview date soon.

Have you got interview date yet?

got your msg too, and this one, and thank you so much for the concern. i am struggling with the death of my grandmother who was like a second mother to me, so this is honestly the last thing on my mind right now. when my interview is scheduled, i will be seeing if i can reschedule it, but anyway, time will tell. i am taking one step at a time.

thanks though everyone... i am still here and i will write when i can.

[david'sgirl 134]

got your msg too, and this one, and thank you so much for the concern. i am struggling with the death of my grandmother who was like a second mother to me, so this is honestly the last thing on my mind right now. when my interview is scheduled, i will be seeing if i can reschedule it, but anyway, time will tell. i am taking one step at a time.

thanks though everyone... i am still here and i will write when i can.

I'm sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to do and pm or post whenver you need to vent. Take care.

[hindocha 0]

Dude I how you feel, it's the same with me and practically everyone on this forum. I didn't realise how hard this visa process was going to be, until now. I though getting my degree was possibly the toughest process I had to go through, oh sadly I was very much mistaken.

Sometimes you need to elope. Family interference get far too much. Marriage is about two people coming together, commenting their life to one another in front of loved one. Yet along with the preparations some family tend to be stress and anxiously into the trimmings. I went through the same thing with my family, by family I mean sisters. I met my wife 7 years old on-line. I was 17 and she was 16. There was an instant attraction there, but obviously due to age and immaturity, it would never have worked out. By chance we reconnected and in 2007 and since then I've been with her. I also got the same from my family - the same all "it a virtual relationship" , "I expected more out of you" - " you are mature, why are you going down this route" - "go to a bar and pick up a girl" etc etc etc etc.

To this date I haven't fully forgiven my sisters and I don't think I could ever. All your life you go through pleasing other people, but there is a line and once you cross that line of pleasing people over yourself, then the stress and anxiety will become transparent. I'm extremely sorry about the situation with your father, he obviously left a very nice family behind him, his loose, your hubby's gain. So what is he's going to be negative about your relationship?! Did you expect anything positive from a guy who left his responsibilities when you were just 13 months.

You should become stronger his comments, cause obviously you have become a successful women without his morals. You have found a brilliant guy and have married him, again without this moral, that to me speaks volumes and tells me that YES you ill succeed. If you want to live in USA then, brilliant, good on you! YOU have been a good daughter; anyone says you are "abandoning" your life in Aussie, your not, you are moving on with your life, betting yourself, that's not abandonment, it's improvement, you are showing courage.

My life right now sucks, waiting for visa, everyday praying+wishing+thinking. I too have been so irritable over the phone with my wife. But it's justified. I'm not saying its al right to do it. But Andy, he nice guy that he is (after reading all the things you have wrote about him) will understand.

He's going to leave you, why on earth would he put himself through this tough process?! You and your spouse are going to have a wonderful life together.

Congratulations on the case complete, I hope you get an interview date soon! I hope to get a case complete and interview date this week. I'm sick of waiting as well. I hate being just another number in this long process. Sorry about the waffling.

Take care!

I'm so sorry for your loss

[carolynhotstuff 252]

My husband and I have really just began our Visa journey. Our I-130 was received at CSC on Sept 25th. We have a long way to go.

Mrsemcee I am also sorry for your loss.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

Davidsgirl, we got that police thing for the UK the one thats called ACPO, (association of chief officers) and thats the one that said no live trace. There's no live trace and no trace. Ours was no live cause he did criminal damage to a guys tire when he was 18 and paid a fine. The interview in London didnt like only the ACPO, they wanted something showing the offense. Sooooo, they RFE'd us at the interview and so we're waiting for this thing called a Subject Access so hope the thing is on there....I ordered that last month thinking our interview wont be for a little bit and we were just playing with fire essentially. Or having blind faith cause there are others in this forum that had no live trace and they were fine, but our interviewer had his boss looking over his shoulder and made it a hard time for Nigel....grrrrrrrr..........soooooooooooo.......the 20th is 40 days from us sending away for it....

Soooo frustrating...........i hate this process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[natt141 0]

Donna,

I'm so sorry for your lost!

[Bern. 3]

Donna, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care and god bless. <3

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Donna, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care and god bless. <3

I'm so sorry Donna.

[scotinmass 588]

Davidsgirl, we got that police thing for the UK the one thats called ACPO, (association of chief officers) and thats the one that said no live trace. There's no live trace and no trace. Ours was no live cause he did criminal damage to a guys tire when he was 18 and paid a fine. The interview in London didnt like only the ACPO, they wanted something showing the offense. Sooooo, they RFE'd us at the interview and so we're waiting for this thing called a Subject Access so hope the thing is on there....I ordered that last month thinking our interview wont be for a little bit and we were just playing with fire essentially. Or having blind faith cause there are others in this forum that had no live trace and they were fine, but our interviewer had his boss looking over his shoulder and made it a hard time for Nigel....grrrrrrrr..........soooooooooooo.......the 20th is 40 days from us sending away for it....

Soooo frustrating...........i hate this process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If your ACPO cert says no live trace it means the conviction is no longer accessible to anyone but the police. It has been stepped down and nobody can see it. The subject access report checks info from the same police computers as the ACPO one so it won't have details either. I got a subject access report from Lothian and Borders police and all it said was that the computers didn't hold any information on me. The ACPO one said No Trace. If you have a spent conviction your subject access report will probably just say the same thing that they hold no information on you. It will not give details of spent convictions. In Scotland the sheriff court records are supposed to be kept for 25 years and then they are sent to the archives at the General Register of Scotland. I assume in England it will be similar. If you can't get records at the convicting court maybe they are now archived wherever they are kept in England. Good luck. I hope you manage to find it.

[Allie and Nigel 2]

Davidsgirl, we got that police thing for the UK the one thats called ACPO, (association of chief officers) and thats the one that said no live trace. There's no live trace and no trace. Ours was no live cause he did criminal damage to a guys tire when he was 18 and paid a fine. The interview in London didnt like only the ACPO, they wanted something showing the offense. Sooooo, they RFE'd us at the interview and so we're waiting for this thing called a Subject Access so hope the thing is on there....I ordered that last month thinking our interview wont be for a little bit and we were just playing with fire essentially. Or having blind faith cause there are others in this forum that had no live trace and they were fine, but our interviewer had his boss looking over his shoulder and made it a hard time for Nigel....grrrrrrrr..........soooooooooooo.......the 20th is 40 days from us sending away for it....

Soooo frustrating...........i hate this process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If your ACPO cert says no live trace it means the conviction is no longer accessible to anyone but the police. It has been stepped down and nobody can see it. The subject access report checks info from the same police computers as the ACPO one so it won't have details either. I got a subject access report from Lothian and Borders police and all it said was that the computers didn't hold any information on me. The ACPO one said No Trace. If you have a spent conviction your subject access report will probably just say the same thing that they hold no information on you. It will not give details of spent convictions. In Scotland the sheriff court records are supposed to be kept for 25 years and then they are sent to the archives at the General Register of Scotland. I assume in England it will be similar. If you can't get records at the convicting court maybe they are now archived wherever they are kept in England. Good luck. I hope you manage to find it.

Ya, i heard about the archives, they hold them in Chesterfield supposedly, cause the courthouse in his town is bulldozed. Nigel hates all this digging, the folks at the interview wanted the dang records from 1991 and well, not sure what to do now, if you say the subject access wont show either. The ACPO people gave dates of the conviction but why wouldnt they write it down for proof? I'm so pissed off at this whole thing...really.