Little Situation about age.

[Isamu 0]

First time posting and here's my situation. I'm 27, my girlfriend is 17 and resides in Laos. She will turn 18 on August 6th 2009. We were introduced to each other by our parents as my step mom is related to her mom. We have been talking and have exchanged photos and we very much like each other. I will be visiting her for the first time on her 18th birthday and if things go well, we'll also do our engagement. I will be spending a month with her. Everyone in both families highly approves of our relationship. My question is, since she turns 18 this August, does our relationship (started when she was 17) count at all? Will I have issues in this matter? Also, will my step mom being related to her mom cause any issues? I would like to start the I-129 as soon as I get back stateside. I want to thank everyone in advance for any insight. I've been reading up a lot on this site and it's been wonderfully helpful.

[john_and_marlene 162]

The age will not be any problem.

Here are your potential problem areas:

1. Close family relationship

2. Quick engagement following first meeting.

3. The combination of 1 and 2.

You can minimize these problem areas by:

1. More than 1 visit before engagement.

2. Multiple trips over a longer period.

3. Extensive evidence of ongoing relationship (Phone records, letters/cards/other correspondence, photos together in different places/activities etc...)

[Isamu 0]

The age will not be any problem.

Here are your potential problem areas:

1. Close family relationship

2. Quick engagement following first meeting.

3. The combination of 1 and 2.

You can minimize these problem areas by:

1. More than 1 visit before engagement.

2. Multiple trips over a longer period.

3. Extensive evidence of ongoing relationship (Phone records, letters/cards/other correspondence, photos together in different places/activities etc...)

Thanks for the quick reply, only problem is getting time off work for more visits. I already had a hard enough time to get August off because of my work. I'm a Network administrator and my partner was laid off some time ago giving me very limited space for any long term vacation for more visits. So if these problems do arise, lets say, will it put my petition to a halt or will there be ways to explain my way through it? I apologize for the ongoing questions. From the way it sounds though, I'll probably need to take your recommendations. Thanks!

[payxibka 10,045]

The age will not be any problem.

Here are your potential problem areas:

1. Close family relationship

2. Quick engagement following first meeting.

3. The combination of 1 and 2.

You can minimize these problem areas by:

1. More than 1 visit before engagement.

2. Multiple trips over a longer period.

3. Extensive evidence of ongoing relationship (Phone records, letters/cards/other correspondence, photos together in different places/activities etc...)

Thanks for the quick reply, only problem is getting time off work for more visits. I already had a hard enough time to get August off because of my work. I'm a Network administrator and my partner was laid off some time ago giving me very limited space for any long term vacation for more visits. So if these problems do arise, lets say, will it put my petition to a halt or will there be ways to explain my way through it? I apologize for the ongoing questions. From the way it sounds though, I'll probably need to take your recommendations. Thanks!

will not put the petition to a halt but may (or may not) cause an issue come visa interview

[Ed+Cindy 1]

The family relationship comes up often when I see visa's denied here on VJ. In fact, that is one of the big ones. I suggest you do all you can to mitigate that.

Maybe not get engaged right away, and continue a relationship for a while first. Just my two cents. If your girlfriend/fiance is only 17/18 years old, why the rush to marry. Just enjoy things and build up a solid relationship first.

[Marina-Del 10]

I agree with above. In case you don't understand, the reason that the close family relationship is a potential problem is because it looks like visa fraud. For example (I'm not saying this is what you are doing! I'm just trying to enlighten you on why it might be an issue), your step mom talks to her *sister and finds out that her sister's daughter really wants to come to the US, you and your step mom talk about it and her sisters and her sisters daughter is willing to pay you X amount of money for helping her come over on a fiancee visa, get marriage and put on a show for USCIS. This is only the beginning usually. Then once you and the girl have been married for a while, she lifts her conditions, becomes a citizen and then brings over her mom...and your step mom and her sister, and her sisters daughter (and whoever else they choose to petition for) are all in the US together and happy now. You've gotten a bit of money in your pocket, or severely scammed and are heart broken. This is obviously a pretty far out example, but you get the point!

*I have no idea if it's your step moms sister, I was just using that as an example...and again, I am *not* saying you are doing this! Just showing you why it is extra important for you and your lady to prove a real, ongoing relationship.

If I understand, Laos is not a particularly easy consulate to go through. And while the age and family relationship are not reasons per se that you can be denied, they are definitely reasons that could affect your case. You must remember that you have to convince the CO that your relationship is genuine and based on only 1 visit (on her 18th birthday making her now legal) and the family relationship, if I was the CO I might have some questions about that.

It might be okay to go ahead and file the I-129F, but you really really should get more than one visit in before interview.

Edited July 6, 2009 by Marina-Del

[Isamu 0]

I see what everyone is saying and I see the scenario you just put out. Culturally, it's very normal for us to get married very shortly after meeting. Arranged marriages are normal if they do happen. Her mother is my step moms cousin and marriages like this is encouraged because it has proven to help marriages last in our culture. I was hoping that the CO, knowing this, would consider this. If the CO does not, then yes, I will wait for the best possible chances. I can see the scenario happening as Marina-Del put out as a real possibility if I was marrying someone of another race but this is not the case. Regardless, if the CO see's it that way then I fully understand and will put this off. Thanks everyone for all the insight. It's very much appreciated.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I see what everyone is saying and I see the scenario you just put out. Culturally, it's very normal for us to get married very shortly after meeting. Arranged marriages are normal if they do happen. Her mother is my step moms cousin and marriages like this is encouraged because it has proven to help marriages last in our culture. I was hoping that the CO, knowing this, would consider this. If the CO does not, then yes, I will wait for the best possible chances. I can see the scenario happening as Marina-Del put out as a real possibility if I was marrying someone of another race but this is not the case. Regardless, if the CO see's it that way then I fully understand and will put this off. Thanks everyone for all the insight. It's very much appreciated.

Ya, I think when its a cultural norm to have arranged marriages, the close family ties arent as big of an issue. The CO's are aware of the local customs and culture.

Good Luck in whatever timing you decide

[Cuchita 1]

Yeah if its a cultural thing you don't have to worry, just make sure you have all the evidence.

Good luck!

[john_and_marlene 162]

Yeah if its a cultural thing you don't have to worry, just make sure you have all the evidence.

Good luck!

Cultural or not, it fits the profile of a sham marriage for immigration.

[Dakine 26]

I see what everyone is saying and I see the scenario you just put out. Culturally, it's very normal for us to get married very shortly after meeting. Arranged marriages are normal if they do happen. Her mother is my step moms cousin and marriages like this is encouraged because it has proven to help marriages last in our culture. I was hoping that the CO, knowing this, would consider this. If the CO does not, then yes, I will wait for the best possible chances. I can see the scenario happening as Marina-Del put out as a real possibility if I was marrying someone of another race but this is not the case. Regardless, if the CO see's it that way then I fully understand and will put this off. Thanks everyone for all the insight. It's very much appreciated.

COs don't care that much about cultural but whether the relationship is a scam for a GC especially when family members are involved.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Yeah if its a cultural thing you don't have to worry, just make sure you have all the evidence.

Good luck!

Cultural or not, it fits the profile of a sham marriage for immigration.

Agreed. Also, at 17 is she even legally able to marry?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I see what everyone is saying and I see the scenario you just put out. Culturally, it's very normal for us to get married very shortly after meeting. Arranged marriages are normal if they do happen. Her mother is my step moms cousin and marriages like this is encouraged because it has proven to help marriages last in our culture. I was hoping that the CO, knowing this, would consider this. If the CO does not, then yes, I will wait for the best possible chances. I can see the scenario happening as Marina-Del put out as a real possibility if I was marrying someone of another race but this is not the case. Regardless, if the CO see's it that way then I fully understand and will put this off. Thanks everyone for all the insight. It's very much appreciated.

COs don't care that much about cultural but whether the relationship is a scam for a GC especially when family members are involved.

I think that depends very much on the country and the consulate. The consulate in Vietnam, for example, looks very closely at whether a relationship follows cultural norms and traditions. Arranged marriages are also very common in Vietnam, especially outside of the larger cities. However, it's not typical for an engagement to follow soon after the first meeting. The marriage is usually arranged months or years in advance of the engagement ceremony, which is again months or years before the actual wedding ceremony. The CO's in Vietnam are suspicious when there is no engagement ceremony, or the engagement ceremony happens soon after the first meeting. They're also suspicious if the couple were introduced by a family member, especially if the US citizen is not Vietnamese.

I don't know what the traditions are in Laos. If formal engagement soon after the first meeting is very typical, then you shouldn't have any problems. On the other hand, if it's merely 'not unusual' then the CO's might look a lot closer at it. Same with being introduced by family members. If arranged marriage is very common, and your fiancee is going to tell the CO's that the marriage was arranged, then you probably won't have a problem. However, if arranged marriage is the exception rather than the rule, or if you're fiancee isn't going to claim the marriage was arranged by your relatives, then you can expect some scrutiny.

In other words, your best chances are to go with whatever is the overwhelming cultural norm.

[Isamu 0]

Ok, I seems I've gotten all the information I need. I guess my research will continue in the direction of the CO in Laos. I'm Hmong by the way, a hill tribe that resides in Laos with origins from China. I understand that my petition have a high probability of being labeled as a scam. The last thing I want. Thanks everyone for all your replies, I will at least arrange for another visit next year before the engagement. I guess we'll just have to be patient.

[Marina-Del 10]

Let me clarify something......

Couldn't the OP apply now for the I-129F (since they wont care at NOA2 stage if they have met 1 time or 2000) and just make sure he gets another visit in before the interview?

That way they don't have to wait? I'm not saying waiting is not a good idea though, I think it's a GREAT idea...just wondering.