I WAS OUT OF THE HOUSE......

[rick's baby 0]

I came here last year thru K1 visa, we got married October then up to this writing we had not filed my adjustment of status because of "financial reasons" as he said.

During our stay together, i found out that he drinks and smoked a lot, that he can spend $500 a month for his vices. But i did not mind it because it's his money anyway and he is the one who is working for it. But as the days go by, I noticed that everytime i need to buy personal stuff for myself, he's telling me that i am getting expensive. He did not give me any money for myself to buy my own stuff, so i let it pass then, thinking that he is kidding me.

When i was still back home, he said to me it's time for u now to have someone to take care of you, as you worked very hard for yourself and your family, and i told him if am there already can we help my family because they have no one to help them, he said yes of course we will. So in short, we have an agreement. So i was here.

One time, when the kids asked for some help because my son is taking up his review examinations for his professional licensure board exam and he needed the money badly to pay for his upcoming test. I asked him if we can send even a $100 just to help him some, i left some money for them before i left but it is not enough for other expenses, he was upset and mad at me and my kids for asking him some money, i explained to him that this is an important need and not just a luxurious thing. After some arguments and explanations we sent the $100 back home.

I am planning to look a job even though i don't have the proper documents just to have money of my own that i can use without asking him any. Then i have a part time job for 3 hours everyday, earning $400 a month. After i worked for a month he start telling me in part of a joke that he needs 1/2 of my money for my food and lodging, but i did not mind him again. On and on he is telling me about it, am thinking to myself i am his wife, he should support me and my needs but now he is asking me my lil money that i earned. We had an arguments the money i earned always. But i can't give him my money as i have to send it back home and some for my personal needs as he's not giving me any money, he said to my friends that i made him broke when he gets me here with all the money that he spent in my visa and all and it hurts me. But i keep it all to myself.

May 31, my friends wants to celebrate my birthday and a late reception for my wedding last year as we don't have any when i got married. It was a potluck so i don't have to spend much money as my friends said, but for my contribution i have to spend too so, i spend $120 for the foods and stuff, i did not use his money again.

Last thursday was a very bad day, i told him that i bought a comforter set that cost $84, but because the store is offering 1/2 of the price i bought one (because we don't have any). I have cash money left in my pocket of $30 so, i get the other $20 in the debit card that he gave me. After i told him, he's starting to count how much i owed him, $35 for my gas because i used his truck in going to work, the $20 for the comforter and the $80 for the first bill of my cellphone which is under his name. And he asked me when i will pay him the money i owed, i told him in joke that maybe in 2020, because i don't think that he is serious about it. We had our dinner and i thought everything was just fine. I was in the computer room as usual playing, and he was in his usual chair too, drinking and smoking as always. he came to me and pointed his finger on my face saying, "if you will not put the money in the account this monday, you cannot get any money from the account, you're not helping me, you're sending all your money back home". This is always our arguments, finally i told him, "why should him give you my money? i worked hard for it so i can send money to my family in which you promised to help, i did not ask you any money to send back home and i did not even spent your money for my clothes, for my personal stuff because i know you can't give any, but i do understand it.

I told him enough is enough, i felt like a beggar here with you, waiting for something that you will give me but i did not. I told him, am not that so hard in my country dying to be here in your country, i have own job, own my car, own my house and i have my children finished their college education, have a little business but i give it all up just for you, because i believe in you and in love. He said he's tired of not me helping him and am not putting any into this marriage. I told him, i cooked your food, clean your house, washed your clothes, wake every 4 in the morning to prepare your lunch and all for your work, and how can you say that i am not putting any into this marriage. I told him all the stuff that i am doing for you, i did not do it back home and you know that, i have a house helper to do all household chores for me. Also said to him, am tired of your drinking and smoking. I can't stand all that. So i packed my clothes and stuff.

My question is HOW WILL IT AFFECT MY STAY HERE, I DON'T HAVE A PROPER DOCUMENTATION AS A LEGAL RESIDENT. WHAT WILL I DO? I AM OUT OF HIS HOUSE NOW....

[3bvsla 1]

it depends on what you want to do.

do you want to stay in this country, or do you want to go back home?

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

She didn't adjust from her K-1 and it sounds like she came to the US in October. That doesn't leave the option of staying in the US legally.

Edited June 7, 2009 by Killer_Clown_2009

[David-and-Mae 15]

Since you never filed for AOS and left your husband, you will be out of status and will have to go back to the Philippines. Otherwise, you'll be an illegal alien here in US.

I don't have anything to say about your marital problems since it's none of my business. But I do feel sorry for you and hope and pray you'll get things straightened out before it gets worst.

[MissusM09 1]

I came here last year thru K1 visa, we got married October then up to this writing we had not filed my adjustment of status because of "financial reasons" as he said.

During our stay together, i found out that he drinks and smoked a lot, that he can spend $500 a month for his vices. But i did not mind it because it's his money anyway and he is the one who is working for it. But as the days go by, I noticed that everytime i need to buy personal stuff for myself, he's telling me that i am getting expensive. He did not give me any money for myself to buy my own stuff, so i let it pass then, thinking that he is kidding me.

When i was still back home, he said to me it's time for u now to have someone to take care of you, as you worked very hard for yourself and your family, and i told him if am there already can we help my family because they have no one to help them, he said yes of course we will. So in short, we have an agreement. So i was here.

One time, when the kids asked for some help because my son is taking up his review examinations for his professional licensure board exam and he needed the money badly to pay for his upcoming test. I asked him if we can send even a $100 just to help him some, i left some money for them before i left but it is not enough for other expenses, he was upset and mad at me and my kids for asking him some money, i explained to him that this is an important need and not just a luxurious thing. After some arguments and explanations we sent the $100 back home.

I am planning to look a job even though i don't have the proper documents just to have money of my own that i can use without asking him any. Then i have a part time job for 3 hours everyday, earning $400 a month. After i worked for a month he start telling me in part of a joke that he needs 1/2 of my money for my food and lodging, but i did not mind him again. On and on he is telling me about it, am thinking to myself i am his wife, he should support me and my needs but now he is asking me my lil money that i earned. We had an arguments the money i earned always. But i can't give him my money as i have to send it back home and some for my personal needs as he's not giving me any money, he said to my friends that i made him broke when he gets me here with all the money that he spent in my visa and all and it hurts me. But i keep it all to myself.

May 31, my friends wants to celebrate my birthday and a late reception for my wedding last year as we don't have any when i got married. It was a potluck so i don't have to spend much money as my friends said, but for my contribution i have to spend too so, i spend $120 for the foods and stuff, i did not use his money again.

Last thursday was a very bad day, i told him that i bought a comforter set that cost $84, but because the store is offering 1/2 of the price i bought one (because we don't have any). I have cash money left in my pocket of $30 so, i get the other $20 in the debit card that he gave me. After i told him, he's starting to count how much i owed him, $35 for my gas because i used his truck in going to work, the $20 for the comforter and the $80 for the first bill of my cellphone which is under his name. And he asked me when i will pay him the money i owed, i told him in joke that maybe in 2020, because i don't think that he is serious about it. We had our dinner and i thought everything was just fine. I was in the computer room as usual playing, and he was in his usual chair too, drinking and smoking as always. he came to me and pointed his finger on my face saying, "if you will not put the money in the account this monday, you cannot get any money from the account, you're not helping me, you're sending all your money back home". This is always our arguments, finally i told him, "why should him give you my money? i worked hard for it so i can send money to my family in which you promised to help, i did not ask you any money to send back home and i did not even spent your money for my clothes, for my personal stuff because i know you can't give any, but i do understand it.

I told him enough is enough, i felt like a beggar here with you, waiting for something that you will give me but i did not. I told him, am not that so hard in my country dying to be here in your country, i have own job, own my car, own my house and i have my children finished their college education, have a little business but i give it all up just for you, because i believe in you and in love. He said he's tired of not me helping him and am not putting any into this marriage. I told him, i cooked your food, clean your house, washed your clothes, wake every 4 in the morning to prepare your lunch and all for your work, and how can you say that i am not putting any into this marriage. I told him all the stuff that i am doing for you, i did not do it back home and you know that, i have a house helper to do all household chores for me. Also said to him, am tired of your drinking and smoking. I can't stand all that. So i packed my clothes and stuff.

My question is HOW WILL IT AFFECT MY STAY HERE, I DON'T HAVE A PROPER DOCUMENTATION AS A LEGAL RESIDENT. WHAT WILL I DO? I AM OUT OF HIS HOUSE NOW....

this might sound harsh but i think you should go home to the philipines. you will be happier there. Forget hooking up with these men on line that think that getting an asian woman is getting some kind of subservient meek asian doll. To be honest alot of them the intent is wrong from the get go, they are little men with little character. you can do better, and you will be happier. Think about whats best for you, you will get married again, you dont need to be demeaned. Move on.

[rlogan 2,036]

Good lord, what a creep.

If you did not have enough money for AOS before, it sure sounds like you won't now either, even if you wanted to apply yourself.

As you said, life in the philippines sounds better.

[Old Dominion 26]

This guy is poisonous, the worst kind of American. It's too bad you have no legal way to stay in the U.S. at this point. Good luck!

[USAplusColombia 1]

So sad....and is one of the obvious problems with online dating. How do you know what you are getting until it is too late.

[DEDixon 39]

You should have billed him for cleaning, making his lunch, washing his clothes, doing dishes, vacuuming and more.

Like some others said, if life is so great in the RP, as you said, you should want to go back home. I'd want to go home if I were you.... servants... I'd like one of those!

You can live in the US illegally. Millions do it, but you'll never be able to leave and return. If you have any plans that might bring you to the US again, then go home before you are illegally here or else you'll never be able to return. If you go home before you are illegally here, it would give you a lot of credibility should you ever try to come here again.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Well, he might ask her to come back. That would not surprise me at all. He sounds like a total loser. If he does ask you back, and you decide to go back, make sure he takes care of the immigration issue right away.

[Bob-KhaHan 1]

That guy is a loser. Did he not think ahead of the costs of the K-1 / AOS process? Geez, if you two got married two weeks after you arrived here and he begged / borrowed for the money for AOS shortly after, then you probably would of had a job since February. If you got your green card and made $1,000 / month, that would have been $4,000 right there. His logic is flawed in thinking that waiting for filing the AOS would somehow be cheaper. The AOS fee is his responsibility.

If he wants to bill you, then I would have done what DEDixon said (I'd say a good $10,000) plus $4,000 since you could have been working months ago. In reality, we all know (except for your husband, apparently) that is not how it is supposed to work in a marriage.

Since it looks like you'll be going back to the Philippines, make sure he pays for your ticket. He should be responsible for that.

[tomcat 0]

this might sound harsh but i think you should go home to the Philippines. you will be happier there. Forget hooking up with these men on line that think that getting an Asian woman is getting some kind of subservient meek Asian doll. To be honest alot of them the intent is wrong from the get go, they are little men with little character. you can do better, and you will be happier. Think about whats best for you, you will get married again, you dont need to be demeaned. Move on.

Speak for yourself

My wife is Asian something I did not go out and look for something that just happen thank God I never married an American women

stereotyping Asian women being meek is far from the truth my wife speaks what on her mind and i commend her for this .

For my self I do spend money home to my wife family being married to a Filipina is just a acceptance and I'm sure allot of other men on-line here do also

[Bob-KhaHan 1]

Well, he might ask her to come back. That would not surprise me at all. He sounds like a total loser. If he does ask you back, and you decide to go back, make sure he takes care of the immigration issue right away.

+1 to that. It is ultimately your decision if you want to stay married to him or not. I think you should both have a conversation about all of the issues going on to try to get things resolved. Finance problems is probably the biggest reason for divorce. He needs to be informed that the longer he waits to file for AOS, the longer it will take for you to legally work. If that means he needs to get a credit card, then he needs to sign up for one.

[USAplusColombia 1]

Sounds like he just wants to throw in your face that he is the "Big Provider." I'd find my way out of this ASAP.

[trinket 30]

Speak for yourself

My wife is Asian something I did not go out and look for something that just happen thank God I never married an American women

stereotyping Asian women being meek is far from the truth my wife speaks what on her mind and i commend her for this .

For my self I do spend money home to my wife family being married to a Filipina is just a acceptance and I'm sure allot of other men on-line here do also

But you won't stop stereotyping American women, now would you?