hurtful accusations

[dontknow 1]

uhhmmm....

been here in the US last year i married my husband within the 90 day period, my I94 has expired, and haven't filed my AOS yet coz we r still saving up for the application fee. and one more reason is: my mother in law is trying to delay my AOS application. the truth is even before i got here, she has been saying i am just going to use her son to be in the US, get a job and then later on leave him. all the while i thought everything was already fine between me and her that is why they continued with the process and why i am here now. now the issue is up again because a member of my family is going to help me on the money we need for the AOS. now she is saying why am i in a hurry to file my AOS, she is accusing me of plans of leaving his son after i got a job and get LPR status. she says her son is going to be used and even her. i do not know why she thinks that way, where have she got all this kind of ideas. i wanted to do the AOS to get my EAD, work and in that way i could help my husband in working. whats wrong in trying to do things for good intentions and not what she thinks i might do. since i got here, i have stayed at home. i am doing what i can do while at home. i follow what she advices me to do. i respect her because she is my husbands mother. we live on one house btw. i can bear with her constantly talking about how we should do this or that and interfering on things like what we should do or eat for the day, but not this, making up things on her mind that is not entirely true. she's one kind of a paranoid mother in law. she even told my husband that he has to wait six months before he adjusts my status.

HER always meddling with us is already annoying me.

there are other issues regarding the mother in law but the important thing is, me and my husband understands and love each other. there are misunderstandings and arguments along the way but we always make sure that we talk about it.

it just hurts she's accusing me all that.

[Old Dominion 26]

You can accept her advice without following it until you discuss it with him. Does your husband pay attention to what she is saying? If so, that is not a good sign for the future. Is it possible to move elsewhere quite soon?

You are doing the right thing and until you file for AOS, your life is just frozen in time - no EAD, no driving license, no Social Security number, etc. etc. Plus, you are expected to file for the AOS soon after you marry--not wait several months or a year.

[AKguy 1]

uhhmmm....

been here in the US last year i married my husband within the 90 day period, my I94 has expired, and haven't filed my AOS yet coz we r still saving up for the application fee. and one more reason is: my mother in law is trying to delay my AOS application. the truth is even before i got here, she has been saying i am just going to use her son to be in the US, get a job and then later on leave him. all the while i thought everything was already fine between me and her that is why they continued with the process and why i am here now. now the issue is up again because a member of my family is going to help me on the money we need for the AOS. now she is saying why am i in a hurry to file my AOS, she is accusing me of plans of leaving his son after i got a job and get LPR status. she says her son is going to be used and even her. i do not know why she thinks that way, where have she got all this kind of ideas. i wanted to do the AOS to get my EAD, work and in that way i could help my husband in working. whats wrong in trying to do things for good intentions and not what she thinks i might do. since i got here, i have stayed at home. i am doing what i can do while at home. i follow what she advices me to do. i respect her because she is my husbands mother. we live on one house btw. i can bear with her constantly talking about how we should do this or that and interfering on things like what we should do or eat for the day, but not this, making up things on her mind that is not entirely true. she's one kind of a paranoid mother in law. she even told my husband that he has to wait six months before he adjusts my status.

HER always meddling with us is already annoying me.

there are other issues regarding the mother in law but the important thing is, me and my husband understands and love each other. there are misunderstandings and arguments along the way but we always make sure that we talk about it.

it just hurts she's accusing me all that.

Sounds to me like your husband might need to step up and educate your mother in-law about your marriage. Attitudes like that are poison...

At least you two have it straight, that's what matters most.

Best of luck!

[It's me 1]

I dont know what to say, but here is a BIG hug and kiss for you xo.

The main, and important thing is the love and communication that you nd your husband share!

[dontknow 1]

You can accept her advice without following it until you discuss it with him. Does your husband pay attention to what she is saying? If so, that is not a good sign for the future. Is it possible to move elsewhere quite soon?

You are doing the right thing and until you file for AOS, your life is just frozen in time - no EAD, no driving license, no Social Security number, etc. etc. Plus, you are expected to file for the AOS soon after you marry--not wait several months or a year.

my husband does not like what his mother is saying about me. we already talked and he said i should not listen to his mom and we will go through the AOS as soon as we can.

i really need to discuss with him about moving out of his mother's house.

thank u very much for the concern.

thanks to all who took time to read my post.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Sounds to me like your husband might need to step up and educate your mother in-law about your marriage. Attitudes like that are poison...

At least you two have it straight, that's what matters most.

Best of luck!

I agree, I think your husband needs to talk to his mother and let her know this is between you and him. NOT the three of you. I would also, try if you, to move ASAP. Mothers (only guessing, but is he an ONLY son or child?) have a way of getting in the middle and really messing things up. I wouldn't wait much longer on the AOS, I understand saving for it, although I think it would be better to file ASAP. Anyhow, good luck.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I honestly cant stand mommas boys, that allow their mother to run their marriage. I have seen a few and its ended up in divorce bcz the son listened to mommy about EVERYTHING! A husband needs to grow up and be a man and decide if he wants to be a husband or a mommas boy.

[dontknow 1]

Sounds to me like your husband might need to step up and educate your mother in-law about your marriage. Attitudes like that are poison...

At least you two have it straight, that's what matters most.

Best of luck!

I agree, I think your husband needs to talk to his mother and let her know this is between you and him. NOT the three of you. I would also, try if you, to move ASAP. Mothers (only guessing, but is he an ONLY son or child?) have a way of getting in the middle and really messing things up. I wouldn't wait much longer on the AOS, I understand saving for it, although I think it would be better to file ASAP. Anyhow, good luck.

u guessed it right, he is an only son. but that doesn't give her the right to tell us what to do on every little thing and even decide for her son. she has this thing of giving unsolicited advices. she's one dictator mom, she expects her son to listen to what she says all the time. and thats really annoying. its like she wants to mess us up.

[rmncm 0]

Sounds like he needs to step up and be a man, not a boy. I would barrow,beg or steal to get the money for your AOS and to move out...far away from her. She is going to ruin your marriage soon.

[MapleLeafBaby 1]

Your AOS is priority one! I would do whatever it took, borrowed and begged for $$$ to be able to file. Then next step us move out. This is for the health of your marriage. I hope your husband sees this. If not, he will always allow her to interfere.

People like that are emotionally toxic in your life. If you let her comments affect you, then she has suceeded! Pay her no mind!

I would file ASAP, if you are out of status and you run into issues, that is not good.

All the best!

[reeses16 8]

Politely decline to discuss your immigration status will you mother-in-law and ask your hubby to do the same. I don't know your financial situation, but when we got married we were short on cash to apply for AOS. In order to free up enough money for AOS we used credit cards for groceries and few bills.

[trillium13 84]

You guys need to get out of that house ASAP. AOS or no AOS, it's really hard living with inlaws, no matter the situation. When one of the inlaws is overbearing in any way, that's just intolerable. (ask me how I know this)

Anyway, I hope you can get out of there soon. I also hope that once you do move out, your husband will stand up for both you and himself and tell his mother to mind her own business. He's a grown man, and needs to act like one. I hope for your sake he does.

[rebeccajo 14]

You might want to let your mother in law know that due to the fact your adjustment is not filed, you are now an out-of-status alien.

Personally, I'd use that information along with an embellishment about how ICE could show up on her doorstep to take you away and that would sure be embarrassing if the neighbors saw that...........

[Ju&Ja 1]

You might want to let your mother in law know that due to the fact your adjustment is not filed, you are now an out-of-status alien.

Personally, I'd use that information along with an embellishment about how ICE could show up on her doorstep to take you away and that would sure be embarrassing if the neighbors saw that...........

I was thinking about that when I read the post. How long after the wedding you have to file AOS ? Cuz' if they got married a year ago it might be a little late no ?

[sj5 4]

uhhmmm....

been here in the US last year i married my husband within the 90 day period, my I94 has expired, and haven't filed my AOS yet coz we r still saving up for the application fee. and one more reason is: my mother in law is trying to delay my AOS application. the truth is even before i got here, she has been saying i am just going to use her son to be in the US, get a job and then later on leave him. all the while i thought everything was already fine between me and her that is why they continued with the process and why i am here now. now the issue is up again because a member of my family is going to help me on the money we need for the AOS. now she is saying why am i in a hurry to file my AOS, she is accusing me of plans of leaving his son after i got a job and get LPR status. she says her son is going to be used and even her. i do not know why she thinks that way, where have she got all this kind of ideas. i wanted to do the AOS to get my EAD, work and in that way i could help my husband in working. whats wrong in trying to do things for good intentions and not what she thinks i might do. since i got here, i have stayed at home. i am doing what i can do while at home. i follow what she advices me to do. i respect her because she is my husbands mother. we live on one house btw. i can bear with her constantly talking about how we should do this or that and interfering on things like what we should do or eat for the day, but not this, making up things on her mind that is not entirely true. she's one kind of a paranoid mother in law. she even told my husband that he has to wait six months before he adjusts my status.

HER always meddling with us is already annoying me.

there are other issues regarding the mother in law but the important thing is, me and my husband understands and love each other. there are misunderstandings and arguments along the way but we always make sure that we talk about it.

it just hurts she's accusing me all that.

Bad MIL. Even a couple that both are USC still get in trouble with their MIL. Did you talk to your husband about this? You need document to start a life. You're not her/his prisoner. If I were you, I tell her to ** off.

Note: My MIL is a good mom.