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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Ok situation: Ive know this girl since 2007 seen her SEVERAL times, and I am still in the philippines so I still get to see her. I have nothing bad to say about her, and this isnt your I met online talked for a month then scrapped enough money up to visit type of situation. I spent probably a total of 6 months with her since 2007. She has done some flaky things but i drove on with the relationship. Mind you I have been through 2 divorces (all to american women) and I dont want it to happen again so It may just be me being scared.

The reason I just want some information to stop the process is because it seem like we fight more than we really talk to each other, and we only seem to get along when we are together. It is in a couples nature to fight, nothing is perfect but when you stop seeing yourself next to the person in your future maybe there is something wrong.

who knows maybe im just scared or need a counselor lol. Anyway just curious how to do it if we decide that is whats right. NO I wont just do it and tell her later it would be something we both decide.

Thanks for the advice... for those that reply....

I 129F Packet sent March 23 2009

Check Cashed March 30 2009

NOA1 April 02 2009

TOUCH September 01 2009

TOUCH September 02 2009

NOA2 September 08 2009

NVC Received September 10 2009

NVC Forwarded to Embassy 15 September 2009

Embassy Received 18 September 2009

Interview October 01 2009 Passed!!!!

POE Anchorage Alaska 11 October 2009!

Married October 17 2009 ( informal wedding; real wedding in the USA June 2010, in Philippines June 2011)

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Filed: Timeline
Posted

Someone please correct me if I'm providing incorrect information, but.. as far as I'm aware, if you want to withdraw your K-1 petition, you just need to send a notarized letter saying so to the place that has your petition. If your petition has yet to be approved, then you would send such correspondence to the VSC - remember to include the receipt number issued to you on your NOA1.

Best of luck to you, no matter the outcome.

The only doom that's looming is you loving me to death,

So I'll give you a sec to catch your breath.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Kenya
Timeline
Posted

It is in a couples nature to fight

This is so not true. This is not a good sign for the relationship. Yes counseling may be the only hope. Good luck.

Phil (Lockport, near Chicago) and Alla (Lobnya, near Moscow)

As of Dec 7, 2009, now Zero miles apart (literally)!

Filed: Timeline
Posted

I don't know about the process but thought to let you know that my husband (my fiancé back then) and I were almost in the same situation as you are. We already had our date of the interview at that time when we experienced lots arguments. The reason was I was so nervous, anxious and so stressed out thinking about the interview. Thinking about the medical exam I have to go through, and the interview thinking what if our application will be denied. We almost broke up. Good thing was he did let me know how he felt and we talk things out on how we can make our relationship better, and we did. You have to communicate with your fiancee and let her know how you feel. If you think counseling would be a great help, do it.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Hmmmmm... most couples been there... that kind of situation.

You have to sort out your feelings for her. You analyze first yourself, if something change in you. Then, try to sit down with her (lucky you are... with her at the moment), and talk about whats going on to your relationship.

Compromise.... and be humble to accept mistakes...

Lifting Condition (I-751)

09/09/2011 - Sent the package to CSC

09/13/2011 - CSC received the package

09/15/2011 - CSC cashed check and NOA1 Received

09/26/2011 - Biometrics Appointment Notice Date (Sent)

10/13/2011 - Early Biometrics

10/19/2011 - Biometrics Appointment

10/26/2011 - GC expiration

11/25/2011 - Received RFE

11/28/2011 - Sent response to RFE

01/13/2012 - Ordered card production (Approved)

01/19/2012 - 10 yrs GC received

Posted

Counselling might be a good idea, however unless you plan to stay in her country for a time period for this to take place, you'll not be able to accomplish this. You both would have to attend. In my opinion, if you had to go to counselling BEFORE you even got married, it wouldn't bode well for a future together. You mentioned that you seemed to fight less when you were in together in person? Remember, that's "visiting", and part of being a "tourist" while you're there. Usually coupled with hot steamy sex. Don't mistake getting along in person to equate with that "physical" part of your relationship.

You've been given information as to how to go about cancelling the petition already, so I won't repeat that.

Wishing you the best of luck in whatever you decide.

carlahmsb4.gif
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ireland
Timeline
Posted

Do you ant to cancel it completely and definitely not get married to her, or just have a few little doubts? Because if it is the latter, you still have some 6+ months until the visa would come through, so plenty of time to get some counselling (as you are both in the same place right now), and have a think about it.

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

mod penguin.jpg

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline
Posted

u said u only seem to get along when ur together, maybe when ur apart the distance is over whelming?

i dont know about anyone else on this forum but distance and the lengthy process that perviz and i are forced to deal with has lead to some pretty good fights, and its always about nothing

just stress getting in the way making us on edge maybe that is the issue with the two of u?

sara

Posted (edited)
I would suggest that a counsellor could be good for the both of you. Why throw away two years without trying to find out why you argue more than talk?

If you aren't even married or living together, I would just move on. A counselor would be better suited if its a longer relationship that you wanted to salvage. It sounds like you should just move on, IMO. Things like fighting and contention only get worse once you start living together. If you can't sort it out easily enough now, it will be miserable once you are in the same house all the time.

Also, you will probably have to be the one to act, since in addition to marrying, your fiance is getting an 'upgrade' in her quality of life by moving to the US. Many people are willing to put up with unhappy relationships to move to a better place.

Edited by Ed+Cindy

------- ROC ---------------

06.29.2011 Mailed I-751

09.22.2011 RFE

Posted (edited)
u said u only seem to get along when ur together, maybe when ur apart the distance is over whelming?

i dont know about anyone else on this forum but distance and the lengthy process that perviz and i are forced to deal with has lead to some pretty good fights, and its always about nothing

just stress getting in the way making us on edge maybe that is the issue with the two of u?

sara

I have to agree with sara. We're on the same boat, we dated for four months here in the philippines wayback July 2007, then he went back home :crying:

even though we keep in touch thru email and yahoo messenger, it still seem not enough and we both sometimes get frustrated with the situation.

You or she could get irritable over petty things because of not being able to do anything about ur present situation.you were so used to see each other almost EVERYDAY for six months then all of a sudden you cant even hold her hand.

you thought that the problem was your indifferences, but its actually the pressure of the moment.

Maybe both of you has to comprehend on your true emotions ; that its just that you badly miss each other and fell helpless right now and cannot do anything about the situation. Believe that it's gonna be alright, and that in Gods perfect timing, you will be together. It could be just the stress of the process. shes stressed and worried and so are you.

I hope you can still work it out.

maan

Our Timeline

06/02/07 - Met thru a friend here in the Philippines, started texting everyday

06/07/07 - went out clubbin with him and our friends

06/09/07 - first date together, inseperable and see each other EVERYDAY for 4 months

11/10/07 - his flight back home : (

04/16/08 - flight back in Philippines and stayed for four months again : )

08/16/08 - flight back home : (

09/14/08 - proposal over chat, i said yes : ) planed to have engagement party in his homeland

before applying for a petition

12/17/08 - changed our minds, SENT I 129F, thought its wise to start asap!

12/30/08 - I-129F Received at the VSC

04/09/09 - NOA thru email

04/20/09 - NOA letter

05/06/09 - Manila Embassy Letter, eligibility for appointment

05/07/09 - I called for appointment, chose JUNE 18 09

05/18/09 - will walk in at SLMCEC for medical

06/18/09 - Interview date

Edited by maset09

AOS Timeline:
10.19.09 - sent AOS package (I-485,I-131,I-765)
10.21.09 - delivered; received by: J.CHYBA
10.27.09 - NOA I-485, I-765 and I-131
10.28.09 - check cashed
11.06.09 - Biometrics Appointment letter received, dated October 30, 2009
11.10.09 - case transferred to CSC
11.24.09 - Biometrics appointment
12.10.09 - EAD and AP card production ordered
12.15.09 - I-765 card production ordered and I-485 approval notice
12.18.09 - greencard and AP in the mail!
12.19.09 - EAD card in the mail

I-175 Timeline
10.17.11 - Filed I-175
10.21.11 - NOA
12.19.11 - Biometrics
07.09.12 - Approved

N-400 Timeline

08.06.15 - Filed N-400

08.13.15 - Check Cashed

08.17.15 - NOA

09.04.15 - Biometrics

09.17.15 - Interview letter received

10.15.15 - Interview. Approved.

11.06.15 - Oath Taking Ceremony / US CITIZEN

Posted

Like you said you been through this twice, you know what to look for in a relationship so why marry and know its going to fail, follow you heart and if you cant see yourself with her, all the couseling in the world may not make it work.

Posted

For what it is worth...I agree with Got Charmed. I was divorced once(American Woman) as well... but if you have doubts now about failure, I don't see counseling working. This is the one opportunity to look for everything you want in a relationship, and yes there will be hard times, but that is different than having doubts up front. PM if you want to know why I feel this.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ethiopia
Timeline
Posted (edited)

If you do not withdraw the K1 before her interview, your fiance will have 6 months to enter the US and once she is in the US you have another 90 days (roughly 3 months) to marry. So you have roughly 9 more months after she receives the visa to decide for sure. So if there are any doubts remaining, its best to delay her entry as close to 6 months as possible as the 90day clock starts once she enters the US. If she arrives in the US and you do not marry she has to return home within 90 days (when her I-94 expires). If she doesn't leave she will be in violation of immigration law, but she would no longer be your responsibility.

Edited by reeses16
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China
Timeline
Posted
If you do not withdraw the K1 before her interview, your fiance will have 6 months to enter the US and once she is in the US you have another 90 days (roughly 3 months) to marry. So you have roughly 9 more months after she receives the visa to decide for sure. So if there are any doubts remaining, its best to delay her entry as close to 6 months as possible as the 90day clock starts once she enters the US. If she arrives in the US and you do not marry she has to return home within 90 days (when her I-94 expires). If she doesn't leave she will be in violation of immigration law, but she would no longer be your responsibility.

:thumbs:

UpdatedTimeline.jpg
 
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