Men changing last name at marriage, opinions

[Aubrey 10]

Okay, so apparently nobody around here has had their husband change their last name when they get married. My SO and I want to have the same last name, but Aubrey Schmidt sounds... well, it's a mouthful, and for many reasons I want to keep my last name at least in part for now. So it's likely going to be both of us hyphenating or him changing to my last name.

I'm curious about how VJ folks will react to someone they know doing this (testing the waters for the larger public).

Discuss

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[Ms. Squirrel 11]

It's not for me either.

[Philosykos 0]

I don't see any problem with it, but I'm a woman! There is absolutely no rational reason for why the man should not take the wife's name, just as it's being done the other way around. My cousin's husband took her name, because he hated his (it was a name that his classmates had made fun of in school).

But honestly, if you are worried about what people think, you better don't do it. There is tons of narrow-minded patriarchs and conservative women out there who will look down on this.

I personally will be taking my fiancé's name when we get married, because I do want to have the same name, and because his name is beautiful and I like it even more than my own.

[scandal 951]

I think everyone should hyphenate. That way the kids are hyphenated, the grandkids are quad-hyphenated, and we can experience the full power of exponential progression. Within 10 generations we have 1024 hyphenated names and within 20 generations you need a phone book to write your last name. Very cool idea. Congress should get on this and legislate it immediately. There's still time to do it withing Obama's first 100 days. He can sign it into law in the morning.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

I've got my ex-husband's and my husband's names as a hyphenated last name. My husband has his own. My ex-husband doesn't care. It works for us and I don't give a sh!t what other people think. Seriously, do what pleases both of you and works for both of you -- I would never rely on VJ to direct something as personal as this (although there are plenty of people who would disagree with me).

[rooster 1]

To each thier own. If it works for you guys, that's all that should matter. Never mind what others may think. If you choose to go that route, I am sure you will encounter opinions from both sides of the argument.

[Nagishkaw 510]

My second husband took my last name back in the early 90's, and that last name was my first husband's. I have retained that name even though I have just remarried.

[cassi9879 20]

My second husband took my last name back in the early 90's, and that last name was my first husband's. I have retained that name even though I have just remarried.

My second husband offered to change his last name to mine (was also my first husband's) but I said not yet. I didn't want him to have to worry about changing his passport and dealing with USCIS more than we needed to. I said we could look at changing our last name to something at the removal of conditions or naturalization stage.

[Damian P 92]

Weirdly enough, 'er indoors broached this very subject last night. She rather sheepishly asked me if I would object if she didn't take my last name (so the kids keep the name they have, and she doesn't have to go through the aggro of changing her name on everything). I laughed, and said I couldn't care less.

She seemed relieved.

[Zee Bee 61]

Do what you want to do.

[tom&tata 2]

We don't really make a big deal out of this name change. Although it might be shocking that some culture don't change last name, I am sure somewhere there is a culture where it is normal for men to change theirs.

In Indonesia a lot of older generation people does not carry last name. Hence the last name change has never been a big deal & still is not.

Whatever makes you happy

Edited April 29, 2009 by tom&tata

[Aubrey 10]

I've got my ex-husband's and my husband's names as a hyphenated last name. My husband has his own. My ex-husband doesn't care. It works for us and I don't give a sh!t what other people think. Seriously, do what pleases both of you and works for both of you -- I would never rely on VJ to direct something as personal as this (although there are plenty of people who would disagree with me).

To be clear (to you and the others), I never intended to change my actions based on this poll. It's mere curiosity as to the "majority opinion" around here.

[J2A♥oasis 2]

I would love it if my SO changed his last name to mine. His first name w/my last name combination is a really strong sounding name. Plus I have mostly females in my family and would love to have a male hold it. The idea of him having a hyphenated name is interesting to consider but ultimately I think it’s a bit too much. Now both having a completely new name from the combination of the two, no hyphens, maybe four letters from his and four letters from yours, that I think I like.

[bora bora 1]

I think it's weird for a man to take his wife's last name (IMO).