what if you found out that he or she is cheating on you?

[Ladylethal 12]

divorce.

^

This

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Adios. Now.

[rika60607 215]

Consider the reasons for cheating and if the other relationship is ongoing or can be stopped.

Act accordingly.

If you love someone, would not you forgive them? If you love someone, but can not have sex with them, would you want them to live like a priest or a nun?

[rclouse 0]

I had this experience in my starter marriage (otherwise it would be my "marriage"). She cheated on me and was completely unapologetic. Tried counselling, she didn't care and then refused to go. Eventually I had to come to the realization it was over. We got divorced and I moved on.

Supposedly some couples are able to reconcile after an affair, but there's no way I could. Trust once broken can't be fixed for me. If I was in your friends shoes, I'd have filed already.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

What if a spouse is marooned on an island and isn't rescued for 3 years? What if the natives treated your spouse like a god/goddess? It sure would be a tough act to follow.

[Nik+Heather 122]

what if you found out that he or she is cheating on you?

what u gonna do? :reading: :pop:

It's over.

No looking back. No apologies, no nothing.

I always use this example:

You go to the fridge to get some milk. You pour some out into a cup. It's bad. Do you:

A. Put it back in and hope it gets better?

B. Throw it away and get a new bottle of milk?

I always pick B. Simply because you all ready had your trust broken, and you will always, always think about that.

I have enough problems in my life to continue that.

Now, Umit, said she would kill me if I cheated on her.... Sooooooo.

I won't cheat....

You assume that people are like spoiled milk - They only progress in one direction towards one end of the spectrum (Towards more spoiled and gross). People aren't like milk. They don't like cold refrigerators, for one, and more seriously, for 2, they can change in different directions (ie, some small percentage MIGHT go back towards fresh under proper circumstances). Thirdly, if you continue on as before (back in the fridge where it spoiled the first time around), of course nothing is going to get better.

And now for my personal opinion - I believe that marriage is a monogamous commitment between two people, and cheating is a fundamental rupture. I'd like to understand the whys of it, but if we are so uncommunicative before the cheating to fix whatever drove them to cheat, we probably won't do any better after. The very first "rule" Nik had when we started dating was "No sharing". We love each other very much, and while I cannot see how I could ever be so sure about ending the relationship as abruptly and unconditionally as others have suggested, I can equally not see either of us cheating!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I would be distressed.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I would be distressed.

What would Joyce's reaction be, I wonder..... ***scurries away to Dear Joyce's thread***

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

I would move on.

[trinket 30]

I am allowed to cheat if its Johnny Depp and he is allowed to cheat if its Sinead

Ok jokes apart, I am not going to say-- I will divorce him and all that, sure I would feel like it but everything will depend upon the situation. If its physical or emotional cheating, if kids are involved and other factors.

When you have invested so many years in a relationship it won't be easy to write it off. Emotions aren't like switch boards that you can click it on and off at any time.

[sj5 4]

I would go spread my seed around town...I would video tape this and make my wife watch it...I would force her into a big orgy...make her have sex with 3 guys at once....sell her into prostitution then after this when I might forgive her....kick her #### out into the cold. Then I would tell her family what she did!

[Bobby+Umit 161]

what if you found out that he or she is cheating on you?

what u gonna do? :reading: :pop:

<snip>

You assume that people are like spoiled milk - They only progress in one direction towards one end of the spectrum (Towards more spoiled and gross). People aren't like milk. They don't like cold refrigerators, for one, and more seriously, for 2, they can change in different directions (ie, some small percentage MIGHT go back towards fresh under proper circumstances). Thirdly, if you continue on as before (back in the fridge where it spoiled the first time around), of course nothing is going to get better.

And now for my personal opinion - I believe that marriage is a monogamous commitment between two people, and cheating is a fundamental rupture. I'd like to understand the whys of it, but if we are so uncommunicative before the cheating to fix whatever drove them to cheat, we probably won't do any better after. The very first "rule" Nik had when we started dating was "No sharing". We love each other very much, and while I cannot see how I could ever be so sure about ending the relationship as abruptly and unconditionally as others have suggested, I can equally not see either of us cheating!

Yes, people that lie to me, especially the person I committed to, and if they cheat on me, they are done in my life, Ala "spoiled milk" - it doesn't get better, it will always be spoiled. No forgiveness, no return.

Just fit for discarding. Is this harsh? Yep. Had it done to me once - that is all it took to come to this metaphor

This of course, is my Opinion, yours may vary, which it does - ever so slightly...

I actually had a discussion with Umit about this very subject, and we actually both agreed that it would be just like that, no recourse, no quarter...

As with you, I found my reason to be on this planet in Umit, and I cannot see us employing this technique....

We would make great pirates I think

Edited April 23, 2009 by Bobby_Umit

[Mina76 0]

what if you found out that he or she is cheating on you?

what u gonna do?

See my divorce lawyer ASAP!!!

[It's me 1]

what if you found out that he or she is cheating on you?

what u gonna do? :reading: :pop:

[TheKims 0]

I would try counseling or to reconcile. Of course cheating is no small thing in my book. But like some people said before me you have to try hard to make marriage work sometimes.