Scared

[MissBecs 0]

Ok I am really struggling already at the thought of being seperated for maybe 6 more months We have not even sent anything away yet.. and I am already waking up in the mornings crying! I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this. So I started considering going back to visit before we get it all sent off.. but I am really scared to do that as well because I only just left the US on 18th Feb after being there for 89 days! If I go again in May will they most likely deny me entry? also I was there for 2 weeks in May last year. How many times have people visited before being told its the last time or whatever? has anyone actually been denied? I just dont know how im going to last another 6 months or more withuot seeing them! any advice on how to cope? or if I should go back to visit one last time?

[Leo&Farah 0]

I can't help you with the POE entry questions but I can tell you how I am coping.

We've only been apart 20 days and it feels like months already. What I've been doing to cope is helping him do the fiance petition, going through everything that we can possibly need. And its still going on, we've been working on it two weeks now. So that keeps me occupied and makes me feel less helpless and more like I'm doing something to be together again as soon as possible. I've been researching everything up till the AOS stage so I KNOW what to expect and to fill my time while cutting down any delays that could be caused through ignorance.

When I run out of things to do and obsess over regarding the petition, I make plans with him about the future. Planning the future takes away some of the sting and keeps me happy cause I have a goal. The trick is to do things that makes you feel less helpless. Going to work to save up money for the honeymoon and marriage later on etc. Keeping myself occupied with a goal in mind. All those things have helped. Sitting at home and doing nothing will just make you go crazy and drive him crazy during the 6 month wait.

We stay in contact everyday, I can hear his voice everyday, a few times a day via skype or phone. There's web cams for seeing each other. It isn't the same, its not even close but it helps a lot.

And depending on which service center you file at, it might not even take 6 months though 6 months is the ballpark figure. I've been seeing some CSC getting approved in 1-2 months lately. Been hearing that Dec 2008 VSC applicants are 50% done which is 5 months and some VSC have been getting approved in 4. Of course, expect the worse cause its easier to accept that over disappointment so 6 months is a safe bet.

Make plans, go to work, make money, save for the future, make more plans and don't forget to not lose sight of each other with the things that make you shine as a couple amid the chaos that is K1.

[MissBecs 0]

I can't help you with the POE entry questions but I can tell you how I am coping.

We've only been apart 20 days and it feels like months already. What I've been doing to cope is helping him do the fiance petition, going through everything that we can possibly need. And its still going on, we've been working on it two weeks now. So that keeps me occupied and makes me feel less helpless and more like I'm doing something to be together again as soon as possible. I've been researching everything up till the AOS stage so I KNOW what to expect and to fill my time while cutting down any delays that could be caused through ignorance.

When I run out of things to do and obsess over regarding the petition, I make plans with him about the future. Planning the future takes away some of the sting and keeps me happy cause I have a goal. The trick is to do things that makes you feel less helpless. Going to work to save up money for the honeymoon and marriage later on etc. Keeping myself occupied with a goal in mind. All those things have helped. Sitting at home and doing nothing will just make you go crazy and drive him crazy during the 6 month wait.

We stay in contact everyday, I can hear his voice everyday, a few times a day via skype or phone. There's web cams for seeing each other. It isn't the same, its not even close but it helps a lot.

And depending on which service center you file at, it might not even take 6 months though 6 months is the ballpark figure. I've been seeing some CSC getting approved in 1-2 months lately. Been hearing that Dec 2008 VSC applicants are 50% done which is 5 months and some VSC have been getting approved in 4. Of course, expect the worse cause its easier to accept that over disappointment so 6 months is a safe bet.

Make plans, go to work, make money, save for the future, make more plans and don't forget to not lose sight of each other with the things that make you shine as a couple amid the chaos that is K1.

Thanks Yeah it is very hard having nothing to do each day! I just sit here thinking about him I do feel like im going crazy! It sucks because there are just no jobs around! I apply for waht I can and hear nothing! so frustrating! I had a great job but I quit it to be with him for what time I could.

I am actually considering applying to start a course so that way I have some sort of proof that I will be coming home.. then I can visit him but still pretty scared in case I get denied!

[Victor&Cory 1]

I know how you feel my friend. I just started this process yesterday. We talked about this and how long it will possibly take. We promised to be strong to each other. We will do what Leo said. Speak as much as we can. It is not the same as being together. We just ended a 3 week vacation together. But it is much better than nothing. If I have to put the best moments in my life in a list, those 3 weeks would be in the #1 spot. But if I have to put the worst ones in a list, the separation at the airport last Monday takes the #1 spot also.

Be there to each other. Support each other. We are already talking about plans for our future. One thing is sure....we are not giving up on each other. Remember......love can win over everything. This process is not easy. The road to happiness is never easy. But you are not alone. You have friends here who are doing exactly the same.

If you want, feel free to pm me and we'll help each other also. God knows that before this process is finished I will need some help too.

PEACE.......................

Edited April 17, 2009 by Victor&Cory

[MissBecs 0]

I know how you feel my friend. I just started this process yesterday. We talked about this and how long it will possibly take. We promised to be strong to each other. We will do what Leo said. Speak as much as we can. It is not the same as being together. We just ended a 3 week vacation together. But it is much better than nothing. If I have to put the best moments in my life in a list, those 3 weeks would be in the #1 spot. But if I have to put the worst ones in a list, the separation at the airport last Monday takes the #1 spot also.

Be there to each other. Support each other. We are already talking about plans for our future. One thing is sure....we are not giving up on each other. Remember......love can win over everything. This process is not easy. The road to happiness is never easy. But you are not alone. You have friends here who are doing exactly the same.

If you want, feel free to pm me and we'll help each other also. God knows that before this process is finished I will need some help too.

PEACE.......................

OH I know what you mean about the goodbyes at the airport I remember getting there and finding out my flight was delayed so they had to rush me onto one that was already boarding! In a way I guess that was probably easier for me to say goodbye whilst being all rushed! but I didnt really get to say goodbye and that kinda upsets me! worst moment of my life! I think it was easier also because I thought I would be seeing him again in a few months! he was supposed to be coming here in May.. but now he can't take leave for over 12 months.. so that wont happening, and as I said I am extremely too scared to risk going back!

Reading your post almost made me cry! haha knowing other people are going through the same thing helps me so much! Noone I know seems to understand. I get people who even say "well why not find someone here" Yeah because it is so easy to just give up on the one you love hey! haha

I can definately understand why people go and marry on the VWP.. Not that I would risk it at all! 6 months apart is better than risking YEARS apart!

Thanks for the relpies and same goes for you! pm me if you need someone to talk to

[James and Megan 0]

Get Skype with the Unlimited World Subscription and a Webcam. Me and Megan both use it at every oppertunity we get, before work, after work and at every spare moment we get! Its definetly not the same as being in person but it make us both happy for the time being (And has done for several years). And I know the feeling I really do, when I was in Alaska last (stayed for 89 days aswell!) I was sobbing for days before I even left and I was really scared to. But just imagine after the long wait what it will feel like when you finally return permanantly!

Also if you're looking for fun activites to do together you should consider playing an online game together! Me and Megan both met playing games together so its definetly a hobby for both of us! A few I would suggest are Counter-Strike, World of Warcraft and Guildwars! Usually when we play we have a Skype convosation opened up so we can talk to eachother all the time and we can chat! We sometimes use Ventrilo to.

Don't be scared, be strong... and look forward to your future. After all, what is 4-8 months when in exchange you will have infinate ammounts of happyness beyond that

http://www.skype.com/allfeatures/subscript.../uscanadaworld/

http://www.steampowered.com

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com

http://www.guildwars.com/

[MissBecs 0]

Get Skype with the Unlimited World Subscription and a Webcam. Me and Megan both use it at every oppertunity we get, before work, after work and at every spare moment we get! Its definetly not the same as being in person but it make us both happy for the time being (And has done for several years). And I know the feeling I really do, when I was in Alaska last (stayed for 89 days aswell!) I was sobbing for days before I even left and I was really scared to. But just imagine after the long wait what it will feel like when you finally return permanantly!

Also if you're looking for fun activites to do together you should consider playing an online game together! Me and Megan both met playing games together so its definetly a hobby for both of us! A few I would suggest are Counter-Strike, World of Warcraft and Guildwars! Usually when we play we have a Skype convosation opened up so we can talk to eachother all the time and we can chat! We sometimes use Ventrilo to.

Don't be scared, be strong... and look forward to your future. After all, what is 4-8 months when in exchange you will have infinate ammounts of happyness beyond that

http://www.skype.com/allfeatures/subscript.../uscanadaworld/

http://www.steampowered.com

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com

http://www.guildwars.com/

haha I tried to do that! I played Wow before I met him and I thought it might give us something interesting to do! and we do sometimes. But being a single father to 2 young boys and being in the army working long hours doesn't give us much time to do anything!

When did you last go to Alaska? have you been for long periods of time more than once a year? I am just dying to go next month! haha my friend is going to vegas and I wanna go with her then go on to see him but very very very scared I dont wanna risk it all!

[James and Megan 0]

I arrived back in London Heathrow about 4 days ago, and that was my first super long visit

Edited April 17, 2009 by James and Megan

[Emma_1 0]

I know all too well the feelings being shared. MY Fiance and I met on World of Warcraft. We have been friends for 1.5 years and together since August 2008. We met face to face for a week in Nov. We started the filing first of March 2009. We continue to talk daily, we use Yahoo Messenger with cam and ventrillo for voice and WOW for something to do with each other. I am about to return to Canada in two weeks for another week visit with him and his family. I will admit we are both at a point that the distance is getting harder, we just want to be able to start our lives together and at this point we have no clue when we can. We do the best we can though. That's all anyone can do. I hurt though each morning cause I'm tired of waking up alone and wondering when will he be in this bed when I wake. I know we just started the filing process but like you I don't want to go much longer without him. So I just keep pushing. We talk about our wedding, and a future with my girls. Sometimes I just sit and cry but then we talk and we both keep reminding each other it wont be like this forever. We have to remember. Our hearts can't help who they fall in love with, so no matter at this point what we go through to get them in our arms, the end result makes it worth it.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Ok I am really struggling already at the thought of being seperated for maybe 6 more months We have not even sent anything away yet.. and I am already waking up in the mornings crying! I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this. So I started considering going back to visit before we get it all sent off.. but I am really scared to do that as well because I only just left the US on 18th Feb after being there for 89 days! If I go again in May will they most likely deny me entry? also I was there for 2 weeks in May last year. How many times have people visited before being told its the last time or whatever? has anyone actually been denied? I just dont know how im going to last another 6 months or more withuot seeing them! any advice on how to cope? or if I should go back to visit one last time?

I would suggest you bring some evidence you will return. Lease for property, letter from employer (if any), etc. I doubt you would be denied entry. YES people are denied entry. The number of visits has nothing to do with it, per se. Customs looks at each person entering as a potential "immigrant" if they are satisfied you will return, they will let you in. Potential "immigrants" do not go back and forth every two months, they come and stay. Frequent visits and frequent returns indicate you follow the rules.

On the other hand, this process is not for the weak at heart or mind. There is a certain amount of patience required, you have a long way to go if nothing is filed yet.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

this can take forever, so this is to early to start this worry worry thing. Just know you are not alone everyone here is doing or has done the same steps. Find a few friends on here about same timeline and keep together thru the process, these can turn out to be very good friends for now and future and help each other. There will be days you will be ready to give up then days everything will be great but your everyday life must go on.

[MissBecs 0]

Ok I am really struggling already at the thought of being seperated for maybe 6 more months We have not even sent anything away yet.. and I am already waking up in the mornings crying! I just dont think I am strong enough to go through this. So I started considering going back to visit before we get it all sent off.. but I am really scared to do that as well because I only just left the US on 18th Feb after being there for 89 days! If I go again in May will they most likely deny me entry? also I was there for 2 weeks in May last year. How many times have people visited before being told its the last time or whatever? has anyone actually been denied? I just dont know how im going to last another 6 months or more withuot seeing them! any advice on how to cope? or if I should go back to visit one last time?

I would suggest you bring some evidence you will return. Lease for property, letter from employer (if any), etc. I doubt you would be denied entry. YES people are denied entry. The number of visits has nothing to do with it, per se. Customs looks at each person entering as a potential "immigrant" if they are satisfied you will return, they will let you in. Potential "immigrants" do not go back and forth every two months, they come and stay. Frequent visits and frequent returns indicate you follow the rules.

On the other hand, this process is not for the weak at heart or mind. There is a certain amount of patience required, you have a long way to go if nothing is filed yet.

Thanks, I guess I hadn't thought of it that way! I dont really have all that much proof of return since I live with my parents and quit my job to stay with them longer last trip.. very stupid decision that I had not thought about at the time! I was considering applying for a course or something so when I get back I can start that which might help some of the time go by.. and may aslo be a proof of return? do you think that would work? also.. if I did happen to be denied entry.. is that going to effect when we do file for the visa? would a copy of my car registration papers that I JUST paid for help? because really If I was planning on staying I would not have bothered paying that.

[baron555 934]

Go back one last time, give a kiss, and get that paperwork submitted.

You both have to be very strong and have a lot of courage to do this.

You can do it.

Also get Skype, it's free. That is what I use and it does work well.

[haleywynne 0]

Not a lot I can say that others already haven't! Skype is great as well as webcams. My fiance and I use both during all our freetime. We also both have blackberries and use blackberry messenger to talk when either of us is away from home. We used to play online games a lot, as we kind of got to know each other playing Halo 3 and Call of Duty haha.

One thing I read someone on here posted a while ago was: What's a few months apart when you're going to have a lifetime together?

That has helped me a lot.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Umit has visited me during our K-1 process - no issues coming in through the POE. (she had letter from boss, lease agreement, NOA1/129F Info, Return Ticket).

They just wanted info on the return ticket - gave her 6 months to visit. (Sadly, she could only stay 2 weeks)

Webcams are great - we spend about 10 hours a weekend jabbing at each other. Not to mention emails/messenger.

Waiting sucks - there is no getting around that - but just think of the payoff when your done with the waiting...

I keep myself occupied by building her a walk in closet, painting the rooms the colors she wants, and learning to cook Turkish dishes... (ala Chef)

Hang in there and don't be scared!