I'm back and have more questions..

[My Mohammed 2]

Well, after receiving numerous PM's with some interesting info concerning some MENA / none MENA members. I am left with more to say, as what I was thinking about some proved to be a correct feeling. I know those of you who know i'm referring to you, will run off to your little group on.. expactgroups.com and proceed to make fun and belittle me as you do others on VJ.

I know this forum is just like any forum online, but goodness, you're suppose to be mature adults, not children. Don't you realize that most who come here, truely are seeking help for what they believe is a real relationship with their SO? To treat those of us who truely need help and seek your advice, like we were a door mat to wipe your feet on, is the most cruel thing for one to do. Here most of you are claiming to be Muslim or a practing Muslim and look at the evil ways you have.

You laugh and poke fun of older, fat, and ugly women who are blinded by a sweet talking Muslim man ONLY seeking a GC. You say, ONLY a true Muslim woman can understand and make a marriage work with a Muslim man. Us christian women are so stupid and desperate for ANY man that we'd believe a younger or even same age Muslim man would truely love us for us.

If I were to sit here and say, every relationship seeking help through VJ is a true one.. i'd be as stupid as some of these post i've been reading. I'm not dumb, I know there are users out there, but they don't come just from the Middle East. You want to make fun of me and others for looking for red flags.. then why are you posting the warnings for us to read, if we're stupid to look for these signs? Why tell everyone who has a MENA SO, to just wait and come on back after he gets here.. you'll see what we posting is real?

It's as my SO told me, how can anyone that has never met him irl know that he's for a GC. Are some of these things i'm reading true about men in Egypt, yes, but isn't it also true in every country as well? How can anyone come to a forum and say for a fact, if a Muslim man goes against the norm, he's a con and only wants a GC. Mine told me, I don't want kids, because I dont' want kids. This is MY choice not my families. I want to marry a non Muslim, because I love her and as a Muslim man, it is MY right to marry ANY woman I want, except those that don't believe in God. The last thing he said really made a lot sense. " If any of those women on that forum talking the ####### you're telling me, are truely Muslim or practing Muslim women, they'd not be on a forum in the first place, muchless talking about something they obviously have no clue about. It seems to me they need to truely read the Qu'ran. Also, why if ME men are ALL so bad and only users for GC.. then why are they themselves with ME men and some even on their second and third man?" I couldn't agree more with those words.

Ladies, some of you seem really nice and sincere with your words, but some I can read through like a sheet of paper. Of coarse not everyone will agree on everything, we all will think only we are right and everyone else is wrong, some will come back years later and say those MENA women knew what they were saying and some will come back and say they didn't know #######. Mine might not work out, but you won't see me coming back here to spill my heart, for some of you to run off and poke fun for having been so stupid to believe a man could really love me. No, if this happens to me, i'll suck it up as experience just as I do with a good ole American man.

For those thinking you're gonna get the last laugh at me, you might, but not because I met someone, flew to his country once/twice, spent a few days or couple weeks and came back believing he was my everything. Cause you see, i'm one of those sinning American women.. I have an Orfi..opps did I say that awful word? You see in my case only, there is No way I would marry any man, w/o living with him and spending time with him first, to make sure we fit and he wasn't some nut case. So, I spent basically 11 months with him and I feel secure he's with me for the right reasons. Doesn't mean he still not pulling the wool over my eyes.. he could be, but my heart tells me otherwise.

So, with this said.. I want to say, i'm on VJ seeking REAL honest help to get my Finace here with me. What i'm not here for is all the cruel remarks about a woman who is older, fat, and uglier than their SO, by a few know it alls. I'm not here for them to run off to an expactgroup to poke fun of me and others here on VJ. I'm not here for a VJ Mod to take my and other couples pics and do only God knows what with. Just what are YOU doing with those pics you're keeping? Are you possibly sending them to service centers with information on us in hopes to stop another GC fraud?

I think this MENA forum has forgotten what VJ is suppose to be about.. helping others going through this long journey. Not to laugh at and make fun of ANYONE for asking for help. Not to PICK a .. what I think is truely the most STUPIEST post on VJ and post the links of it on another forum. Ladies and gents.. if you're truely here seeking REAL help you need to know exactly what's going on here in this forum. I don't see any help in what i've described above. Good luck to all of us who are here for the right reasons. Thank you to anyone who responds to a question and answers with kindness and honesty.

[doodlebugg 10]

been a while since we had a catfight in here!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Meh, honestly, drama is over-rated. Posts like this pop up from time to time, but it doesn't change anything. If you're going to post here, chose to ignore those who p*ss you off, and engage with those who don't. That's the secret to longevity on VJ. Unless of course you like drama, then by all means, engage with those who p*ss you off. But the cat fight will be huge, people will rush in from all over VJ to laugh at MENA fighting once again, and in the end, no minds will be changed.

Been there, done that, no more thank you very much

[Staashi 371]

Damn!!! Bring it on!!!

[Aymsgirl 0]

I just want to say that I may read a lot of the bickering back and forth but normally don't participate in it. I try and not take it too personal either. I know about expats and I have seen some of the things they say in that forum. Seriously, I would try and not take it personal.(I know easier said than done) I've seen the hurt people get on here and shout their warnings...I just keep my eyes and ears open and be smart about my relationship but don't let the things I read interfere because they will if you let them. (They have in the past)

Like you said maybe one day somebody may learn from them but maybe one day somebody else may prove them wrong. I want to see good come out of every relationship and hate to hear about the bad but its the truth. We have a few people that you hit the nail on the head about they gripe and complain about ME men but yet they have a history of marrying a few of them. Why do they keep putting themselves out there if they are listing it as a ME trait and want to warn the heck out of women but yet they keep going back to that ME man or seek another ME husband?

I want you to know that some of us are on here to support each other and not bash or go to other boards to just freaking slam the heck out of somebody and attack their character. A lot of us are here to help and support each other. I have made personal friends on VJ that I share a bond with like no other. Not everybody understands our kind of relationship and as to why or how we endure the things that we do. You need to look to support and know that somebody has gone through this and you aren't alone.

As they say it takes a variety of people to make this world go around. The good, the bad, the young, the old, the skinny, the fat, the smart, the stupid. Just try and live your best and stay positive in your relationship and pray that God will lead you in the right direction in your life.

I wish you the best and if I can ever help I am here to. I am not one to judge about your actions of Orfy or because you are Christian or even if you were Muslim. That is your and your fiancee's business only. Take care and I hope to continue to see you posting.

Tasha

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

Well, after receiving numerous PM's with some interesting info concerning some MENA / none MENA members. I am left with more to say, as what I was thinking about some proved to be a correct feeling. I know those of you who know i'm referring to you, will run off to your little group on.. expactgroups.com and proceed to make fun and belittle me as you do others on VJ.

from ewok in this link:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry2535860

By no means do I want to limit people from discussing issues that may have popped up on the other site -- however I do not want any "drama" brought in to this site that may be present at the other site. VJ is not Expats and it is unfair to members here to bring drama over. If there are issues on Expats (even with members that may post here too) please address that with the moderators or admin (on Expats).

This by no means a Terms of Service issue but a general "don't bring drama" here that happens elsewhere type thing.

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

[LaL 418]

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

I have not seen anything posted about this member on expats.

[doodlebugg 10]

I hate expats. I used to read a few things on there but each time I opened it up I'd be all like "i wonder if they'll bash me next".

[Aymsgirl 0]

I know so off topic but Lal...I used to have a kitty named Nina that looked just like yours.

[LaL 418]

I know so off topic but Lal...I used to have a kitty named Nina that looked just like yours.

awww another kito

[amal 4]

Very interesting post. I do see a bit of biting going on now-and-again but doesn't that always happen between sisters and brothers? That's what we are here is a big ole dysfunctional family so we do have arguments and mud slinging but we understand that that comes with the territory of remaining in a forum for an extended period of time and getting to know each member on a personal level.

As to the comment about not being a real muslim if we post on this board... that one kind of pierced a little bit. I'm a muslim and I do my best to bring joy and happiness to people who are struggling to get through a day without crying. I am through wth our journey for now but still come here to support the friends I have made and possibly meet new people going through what I went through. I don't feel that that makes me any "less" muslim. I think it shows that I truely do love my friends (and yes, even enemies) to the fullest and am ready to help them whenever they need a hand and that is a sign of a good muslim imho.

the expats group...I don't venture there often so I don't care what is being said about me. Stuff is going to be said about EVERYONE no matter how well they're liked or how much they're disliked. I'm sure I have my fair share of enemies that say hateful nasty things about me but I really don't care. They go there to vent and that's ok with me. Whatever makes them feel better, then I say go right on ahead. Don't worry about that group

We did, at one time, have a big falling out about fat, ugly, and older women with the young mena men. Yeah it pierced some of the members pretty deeply and did so for quite some time. I really don't see much of that going on in here anymore unless it is in a thread that the discussion is actually about red flags and things the consulate might find against the relationship OR a thread letting us know how things turned out for the worst . We are a forum of people who just want to be happy with our SO's and need/needed advice at some point on what to do to get them here. We have the good happy threads and we have the break-up threads. We feel it is important to show both sides of the story so that any newer members may be reminded to sit back and think about what they're doing before they make this very very life altering journey.

We aren't saying that ALL mena men are bad. As a matter of fact, I'm sure that if the mena group members were actually, I don't know, the russian group or something....the threads would be exactly the same with the warnings for fraud and all that because that is just the way this group of women are. They care about what happens to each other so they try to help others BEFORE the trouble hits so that their lives aren't ripped to shreds by the man they thought was prince charming.

I love my mena man with all my heart but thanks to VJ I'm aware of the possibilities that certain things may take place. This has helped me to put my relationship into perspective a bit and actually strengthened it a lot. I really hope it has helped others the way it has helped me

I hope that you find some good while sifting through the mena forums and see that we are truely a wonderful bunch of people who commune on a daily basis and care a lot for each other. This means that nasty things will be said and feelings will get hurt but as afore stated, that happens in every family. I wish that you find a place here to settle in and feel safe to ask any questions ou may have. I, for one, am ready to help whenever you may need.

amal

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

I have not seen anything posted about this member on expats.

according to the op, there has been - last sentence of first paragraph.

Edited January 9, 2009 by charles!

[LaL 418]

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

I have not seen anything posted about this member on expats.

according to the op, there has been.

I would like to see this link! I certainly could have missed something, but this just reeks of puppet plays in PM with someone mentioning nasty expats as a scapegoat when it has nothing to do with the original poster or how she perceived she was treated here (<--- lookie no expats issue!)

The last sentence just states make fun of me like you do others. Not that she has been.

Edited January 9, 2009 by LaL

[Nagishkaw 510]

Maybe those scary things really happened or maybe you just hallucinated that they happened. It doesn't matter now. Dare to be boring, get rid of your guilt, and give yourself a big kiss for all the alleged assults on your integrity... but mostly award yourself a bigger and shinier medal. Most importantly, allow yourself enough room for twice as much confidence and courage.

[My Mohammed 2]

Well, after receiving numerous PM's with some interesting info concerning some MENA / none MENA members. I am left with more to say, as what I was thinking about some proved to be a correct feeling. I know those of you who know i'm referring to you, will run off to your little group on.. expactgroups.com and proceed to make fun and belittle me as you do others on VJ.

from ewok in this link:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry2535860

By no means do I want to limit people from discussing issues that may have popped up on the other site -- however I do not want any "drama" brought in to this site that may be present at the other site. VJ is not Expats and it is unfair to members here to bring drama over. If there are issues on Expats (even with members that may post here too) please address that with the moderators or admin (on Expats).

This by no means a Terms of Service issue but a general "don't bring drama" here that happens elsewhere type thing.

in short, if it's an expats issue, discuss it on expats. if vj, discuss it on vj. don't transfer the drama from one site to another.

Charles, i'm sorry for posting about expats, excuse me for not reading the rules first, but I haven't posted anything over there and what i'm referring to concerning me, has all been said on VJ to me. Also, how can anyone talk in private to Mods when some of them are causing the drama themselves? I don't know Capt Ewok, but i'm sure he'd want all who post on this forum to feel safe with what they post and the pics they post. Sorry, if I hit a sore spot there.