Sub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

[patient2010 93]

very quiet

[Ban Hammer 12,903]

need uno to show up and get the party started again

[Simply_Uno 1]

rofl, ty for thinking of me Charles!

Hey subbies, how is everyone doing in these parts?

I noticed the old hats are no longer around. well the only update I have is, I had an opportunity to meet a member from VJ.

I met Idocare!! She is a lovely person.

Too bad I have not had a chance to meet more people from VJ, but such as life.

Well, y'all take care and keep it moving, much love, UNO!

need uno to show up and get the party started again

[PurpleSky 19]

Hmmm all this time I've been on here I've never stopped by. Sorry....

so what are we talking about in here?

I know one thing, I'm having the devil of a time trying to find Ivie beads here in America. Can I really only get them in Nigeria? That doesn't seem right. I need quite a few of them because I need to make my headpiece/crown, shirt/cape (I guess that's what it's called...the thing that's worn around the shoulders) bracelets and necklaces. Anyone have any ideas?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Ivie is a type of coral. Firemountian has a large assortment of coral beads. Firemountain coral beads

[PurpleSky 19]

Ivie is a type of coral. Firemountian has a large assortment of coral beads. Firemountain coral beads

Thanks hon!!! Just what I needed! I knew we should have SOMETHING. Now I can be a proper Bini Bride. off to find instructions. Maybe I'll call my future Sis in Law for help.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Your welcome , I will need to have some stuff when I become lolo but I think we have to buy that in country.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

Just stopped by to say HI ALL!!!

All is well here. Hubby just started his own painting contractor business last month. I wasn't sure the timing was great but has already finished one job, has 2 scheduled, bid on another and someone else called yesterday!!

[reeses16 8]

Hi, everyone! I have been crazy busy. Just wanted to share that my hubby is now a US citizen!

His ceremony was Monday. It was really nice and we're both so happy that this journey is over! We couldn't have made it through so quickly without VJ, thats for sure.

Otherwise, things are going well. Hubby and I are happy, healthy and enjoying life together. We're planning to spend the holidays with family this year. First time in a few years that we'll all be together.

WhidbeyGirl, big congrats to you and your hubby on the new business. Sounds like there are lots of opportunities coming!

Edited October 22, 2010 by reeses16

[Zee Bee 61]

Congratulations reeses

[Tamikuti7 0]

Hello All!

Just poppin in to say hello. It has been ages since I've been here. For those of you who do remember me, hubby and I are still together, and I am 9 months pregnant with our little girl. Our first son, Femi was born in 2007. I am still in school(ugh) but it is well worth it in the end. Well, that's what I heard, because I haven't seen the end yet! How is everyone? I'm sure things have changed drastically since I've last visited this board. Congratulations to all of those who are brave enough to go through this process, it can be quite nerve-wrecking.

[Linguere 0]

Hey everyone! I used to post on occasion (under the name Aisha & Musa), but it's been a long while. I am still grateful to everyone on VJ for making the process easy for me....it was great to have a place to go to feel comfortable. I live (and work) in an African community, so it wasn't really comfortable for me to tell people that I was sponsoring my husband because they all would have said that he was using me for papers. It's so common in the immigrant communities and has happened to a lot of my immigrant students as well. So, I felt like I could share in the stories here....even though I was busy completing a doctorate, pregnant, lost a child and got pregnant again through my journey. I didn't have much time to post, pretty much like now. I'm raising an incredibly bright and beautiful 20-month old without any family around or support from my ex-husband. He sees her two days a month, if that, and I use those days to catch up on work (like today :-)

My husband probably did use me, either for papers or just use me in general (he refused to get out even after I found out about his girlfriend -why not try to live for free as long as possible?!). He didn't want to work or do anything other than his music. So my story did not turn out great. I'm sure that he was cheating all along, but he settled on a European stripper (how cliché!) that could finance his shoe/clothing/electronic/rent needs (I'm thinking why doesn't she also pay his child support??). He hooked up with her 3 months after our child was born and started a full on relationship with her a few months later. He had another woman in our apartment while I went back to work, still suffering from severe birth complications (he wouldn't look for a job). He took yet another woman to a hotel while refusing to pay any money for our child's daycare, though he had $1,000 in a separate bank account. In any case, he's a bad guy, an irresponsible father and it is what it is. I am a solo parent and totally exhausted. I work 3 jobs to provide for us...Thankfully, I am divorced! In MD, adultery cases are fast-tracked. I'm trying to accept that these 20 hour days are indeed my life for many years to come.

But anyway, I just wanted to send a hello out to the VJ African community and say that I am happy for those of you who have succeeded and are happy and much support to those who had it a bit rougher. In any case, ALL of the stories were soothing to me. I especially appreciated those who told the truth, even when many did not want to hear it. It's great that you all are still maintaining a (virtual) community and that some of you have even met! Your positivity is infectious! Take care everyone and have a happy holiday season.

My best,

Aisha

[GhLove 4]

Aisha,

Wow! I am really greatful that you were willing to share your story! You sound like one of the strongest and most amazing VJ members I have ever read of. I think it is simply beautiful that strong women like you come back to tell your story. You never know how many people you might be actually helping! I'm very sorry that the situation turned out like that.. but I like to believe that there are blessings in every situation we encounter in this life. And I am a firm believer in Kharma. I will keep you in my heart and prayers. I know that God will protect and provide for you and your little one. Stay encouraged and never give up on love! You deserve it, every woman does...

Peace and Blessings,

GH

[chispas 0]

Hey everyone! I used to post on occasion (under the name Aisha & Musa), but it's been a long while. I am still grateful to everyone on VJ for making the process easy for me....it was great to have a place to go to feel comfortable. I live (and work) in an African community, so it wasn't really comfortable for me to tell people that I was sponsoring my husband because they all would have said that he was using me for papers. It's so common in the immigrant communities and has happened to a lot of my immigrant students as well. So, I felt like I could share in the stories here....even though I was busy completing a doctorate, pregnant, lost a child and got pregnant again through my journey. I didn't have much time to post, pretty much like now. I'm raising an incredibly bright and beautiful 20-month old without any family around or support from my ex-husband. He sees her two days a month, if that, and I use those days to catch up on work (like today :-)

My husband probably did use me, either for papers or just use me in general (he refused to get out even after I found out about his girlfriend -why not try to live for free as long as possible?!). He didn't want to work or do anything other than his music. So my story did not turn out great. I'm sure that he was cheating all along, but he settled on a European stripper (how cliché!) that could finance his shoe/clothing/electronic/rent needs (I'm thinking why doesn't she also pay his child support??). He hooked up with her 3 months after our child was born and started a full on relationship with her a few months later. He had another woman in our apartment while I went back to work, still suffering from severe birth complications (he wouldn't look for a job). He took yet another woman to a hotel while refusing to pay any money for our child's daycare, though he had $1,000 in a separate bank account. In any case, he's a bad guy, an irresponsible father and it is what it is. I am a solo parent and totally exhausted. I work 3 jobs to provide for us...Thankfully, I am divorced! In MD, adultery cases are fast-tracked. I'm trying to accept that these 20 hour days are indeed my life for many years to come.

But anyway, I just wanted to send a hello out to the VJ African community and say that I am happy for those of you who have succeeded and are happy and much support to those who had it a bit rougher. In any case, ALL of the stories were soothing to me. I especially appreciated those who told the truth, even when many did not want to hear it. It's great that you all are still maintaining a (virtual) community and that some of you have even met! Your positivity is infectious! Take care everyone and have a happy holiday season.

My best,

Aisha

Helloooooo

I remember you very well and I'm sorry to know that you've had challenges despite the tough journey you went through to sponsor your husband. Yes, it's a tough pill to swallow when a marriage doesn't turn out to be what we expected but as long as we are able to breath and live, we will come out victorious. Thanks for the bravery in sharing your story and double thanks for actually returning to post it. It's always great to hear from those who used to post a long long time ago. I often wonder how every one is doing so it was great to know that you came back and updated us. Lots of hugs

Chispas

[GhLove 4]

It seems like this forum use to be really booming with folks! I was reading through some of the past post and was thinking that it must of been really comforting to have someone to talk to on a constant basis. I'm feeling pretty stressed and discourage these days... What are some ways you guys have been able to stay sane through this whole thing??? I feel like I'm loosing my mind every other day!