If you had known then what you know now??

[Nothing1234 2]

My father, on the other hand, is super relaxed like I am. He has asked me a few times if the man honestly makes me happy. I can't really explain the details of my answer to him on this in a public forum.

well...I don't know how often he reads this so I try not to get TOO overly personal and my reply to my father was a long discussion. I'm lonely a lot because he spends a lot of time on the computer. I've mentioned this in the forum before. When he actually puts down the computer and spends time with us, it is WONDERFUL and in those moments, I'm happy. It's the lonliness that makes it hard to explain.

I do understand that at times. But I experienced it with my father when I was young. He's a total TV addict. It was horrible and lonely at times as a kid because he was glued to the ####### tube. He's very different now with the twins but my childhood those are some of my memories. I told him while I was pregnant that I had those thoughts when I was young and I think it affected him because he spends a great deal of time with the twins now.

Of course! That's what my Dad said grandparents do - they try to make up for all the bad things they've done with their kids (mistakes) or for life in general. When I asked him why? His response, "I'm trying to get into Heaven of course!"

You're dads a pisser. And that would be his typical response!

[amal 4]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

[Ban Hammer 12,900]

My father, on the other hand, is super relaxed like I am. He has asked me a few times if the man honestly makes me happy. I can't really explain the details of my answer to him on this in a public forum.

well...I don't know how often he reads this so I try not to get TOO overly personal and my reply to my father was a long discussion. I'm lonely a lot because he spends a lot of time on the computer. I've mentioned this in the forum before. When he actually puts down the computer and spends time with us, it is WONDERFUL and in those moments, I'm happy. It's the lonliness that makes it hard to explain.

oh i thought maybe it was r rated

[Nothing1234 2]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

I can tell you that I learned to hate TV and movies w/ a passion. Not until recently when I was pregnant and couldn't really go out much did I start to watch TV/movies again. Now I watch it in healthy doses (if there is such a thing ).

[Sandrila 1]

[/font]

Insha'allah my husband will be here next month... and i am always asking people what the new things thing learned about their husbands and what would you have done differently?

Also quirky things to be on the look out ie. not having his underwear and hers washed together (mine could care less as long as he had clean underclothes) but that has happened to someone i have known.

Jen has helped me bunches with what to to so would like to hear other things.

OUr MENA s/o will have to get used to alot of things what did you do to help?

~Rajaa

Ok, this is what I have learned since we have been married. I'm not gonna say what our situation is other than that he is from a MENA country. I will say he is very self-centered and usually looks out for himself. So my advice is totally from that (and only MY) perspective. I envy those of you who have a calm, even-keeled man who will take responsibility for his actions. So please don't think all MENA men are like this but there are more than a few around. He has been on his own for a good many years, so he is as set in his ways as I am in mine....lol

1. Get him Arabic Satellite TV. That has been his lifeline.

2. See if there is somebody he knows living in the USA that he can talk to for free. It is too dang expensive for them to talk to their buddies overseas for very long.

3. Don't leave him alone if you don't have to to get in trouble on the computer--(don't even ask!!!)

4. English classes are good, but his didnt' have enough people to keep them going after a few months.

5. Get him a cellphone, but be sure to tell him the limits. When you are paying, they sometimes don't really care about costs.

6. He will think he should be able to get a job for a lot more than minimum wage. Yeah, I know they said before they got here they will do any kind of work. BS

7. He went through major culture shock/depression, slept a lot, angry a lot for a good year until he had his job under his belt and his own car.

8. Get him studying for driving test for your state. If he has no experience, get permit, not license.

9. Expect him to want to start his own business and expect it to be wildly successful, either here or in home country, expecting only to invest a small amount of money.

10. Expect him to want to send money home to family, especially during Ramadan and other special days. He will also need to send money for family medical problems, etc.

11. If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house.

12. Give him a good part of the closet.

13. If you own the house, expect him to want you to put his name on it too or he won't want to put any effort into taking care of it. He expected to give me $50 for expenses for the whole month. He doesn't see it as fair that I have worked all my life and worked my butt off for what I have.

14. Expect him to be totally shocked at the difficulty of applying for and interviewing for a job. He has been used to just showing up and asking around for a job.

15. He doesn't eat halal except on Ramadan. The Imam here told him that was ok.

16. Mine is lapsed Muslim, so expect him to drink when he wants, smoke, etc. And in his circle, drinking (but thankfully on weekends) can mean drink till all the beer is gone or you feel good and high.

17. Remember this quote from my hubby, "If you tell a man what to do who is from __________, he will do exactly the opposite." And boy, did he mean it!!!! Walk the fine line between being mom and wife.

18. Praise him a lot for what he does right. Remember that most of these young guys have arrested development compared to agemates in the US. (OMG we are in trouble~~~ lol)

19. Don't nag or you will be his mother.

20. You have to train him how to be romantic and meet your needs. In his country, he never saw his parents hug or kiss, so you have to let him know what you want. He still won't kiss me in front of my brother. I have to tell him to say romantic words, etc. He is trying to do better.

21. Expect him to see you as bossy American (......or fill in the blank). He is used to women staying home cooking and cleaning while the men go out drinking coffee at night. He is in a whole new world where he ain't king anymore....lol He does NOT expect you to yell or scream back at him, which further pisses him off....lol

22. Expect him to slop water all over the kitchen counter and fling flour everywhere as he cooks and hopefully cleans.

23. You will be lucky if you have public transportation. When mine started working at a grocery store, the little bus kept leaving him, or calling and leaving messages he couldn't understand. He decided they ( the store managers) told him too much what to do so he just up and quit without having another job. Another major fight then.

24. In my case, expect him to be the most stubborn man you ever met.

25. We did better when he got his own checking account. Many fights were over how much he should pay for expenses and poor thing, he couldnt' save most of his pay check. Welcome to the real world, baby.

27. Expect him to say he gave up his whole WONDERFUL life to come here and you should.....fill in the blank.

28. Expect you to be the one accommodating him, at least in the beginning and maybe he will begin to do the same in time.

29. Expect major culture shock. Every one of his friends (except for one) said they wanted to go back home during the first year. Give him time. It is not as great here as he expected. All he heard himself say was that he only wants to be here with you. Well, he's here and boy does it suck sometimes because it is all sooo different and he is not king of the world anymore.

29. I know this sounds horrible, but believe me, it has been a journey. Things are much better now, he is truly trying to change and not be so rigid, keep his temper in check, and be more reasonable. In turn, I am trying to be more understanding, less bossy, and let things go that are not major issues. I find that if I plant an idea, then let him think about it, he will often come around. Crazy game, but he is young, I realize that. I know he truly loves me and I love him, so we keep chugging along. HOpe I don't sound really negative, I love him like cray. BUT I am also realistic. It will be interesting to see if some of you other ladies have had similar experiences.

More to come......love to all!!!

If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house

I would say that I have 1/2 won this battle. I thought I smoked too much and felt guilty when I indulged smoking indoors...well since it costs too much to support 2 smoking habits..I have quit and the more cigarettes there are in front of him, he will smoke them all till they are gone. Considering he has come from a place where he didnt have much, he does not know how to ration

Expect him to see you as bossy American (......or fill in the blank). He is used to women staying home cooking and cleaning while the men go out drinking coffee at night. He is in a whole new world where he ain't king anymore....lol He does NOT expect you to yell or scream back at him, which further pisses him off....lol

this is NOT funny

You will be lucky if you have public transportation.

THANK GOD WE DO! and he starting using yesterday, after nearly 2 months being here. his schedule doesnt always allow for me to be able to take him to work, but at night when I am home, I will pick him up. I would expect him to do the same for me. we have a very thorough system here in Philly.

In my case, expect him to be the most stubborn man you ever met.

not more stubborn than me, and in that case = trouble

Expect you to be the one accommodating him

uh..this goes without saying...and I would expect it from him if I was there and he COULD provide AND I do feel that when the time comes he will oblige. Anyway without asking for paybacks....good things comes to those who do good.

God will give you what you need when you ask him.

I would agree that we are adjusting.

[Zee Bee 61]

You will be lucky if you have public transportation.

THANK GOD WE DO! and he starting using yesterday, after nearly 2 months being here. his schedule doesnt always allow for me to be able to take him to work, but at night when I am home, I will pick him up. I would expect him to do the same for me. we have a very thorough system here in Philly.

I would if we did not have SEPTA. My hubby just decided to get off his butt and get his permit.

[doodlebugg 10]

Ok I've relooked this list over to see if I have at least 5:

1. Get him Arabic Satellite TV. That has been his lifeline.

I wish we had arabic satellite tv. We just have ART on our cable network but he doesn't seem to mind it since he likes our shows better sometimes. Maybe this is one of those things that improves with their language?

2. See if there is somebody he knows living in the USA that he can talk to for free. It is too dang expensive for them to talk to their buddies overseas for very long.

Definitely. My husband's best friend since he was born lives in Toronto and luckily our landline allows us free calls anytime anywhere within the US and Canada This was more important before he was employed though since now he barely has time to talk to him other than maybe once/week.

3. Don't leave him alone if you don't have to to get in trouble on the computer--(don't even ask!!!)

I don't get this one at all. If I didn't trust him alone with the computer I wouldn't have married him. Been there, done that, got the divorce.

4. English classes are good, but his didnt' have enough people to keep them going after a few months.

This one doesn't apply since his english was fine when he got here. He actually applied for a course but they told him he didn't really need it and not to waste the $. Definitely helpful for others though!

5. Get him a cellphone, but be sure to tell him the limits. When you are paying, they sometimes don't really care about costs.Agreed on the cellphone but seriously he should be aware and concerned about how much things cost. My husband always always asked me in the beginning how many minutes he had and how much this phone call or that text message will cost. That's just being responsible.

6. He will think he should be able to get a job for a lot more than minimum wage. Yeah, I know they said before they got here they will do any kind of work. BS

This one I guess doesn't apply since he was prepared to do anything at all before he came. Now that he's been here he's getting a little itchy to make more but he knows how hard it is so I guess I"m lucky in that respect.

7. He went through major culture shock/depression, slept a lot, angry a lot for a good year until he had his job under his belt and his own car.Hubby went through a slight depression but thank God he snapped out of it. It was basically due to his cut in pay but now we've adjusted so he's accepted the situation.

8. Get him studying for driving test for your state. If he has no experience, get permit, not license.Did that but now he's too scared to drive in the snow!!!

9. Expect him to want to start his own business and expect it to be wildly successful, either here or in home country, expecting only to invest a small amount of money.He always talks about opening up a restaurant but he doesn't expect it until years from now so I guess this doesn't really apply either.

10. Expect him to want to send money home to family, especially during Ramadan and other special days. He will also need to send money for family medical problems, etc.I'd be wary of the medical problems thing but we discussed the sending money home before he got here so this was a no brainer to me. He's the only brother of two sisters with no parents so it's his responsibility to help out. I'm the one who insists on that.

11. If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house.I had no problems with this but then maybe that's due to my daughters insistance and his respect for them. Plus my parents are always giving him lectures so he wouldn't dare have the house smell like smoke for fear they'd pop in and catch him.

12. Give him a good part of the closet. I don't think my man has ever thrown a single item of clothing out since he was fully grown!

13. If you own the house, expect him to want you to put his name on it too or he won't want to put any effort into taking care of it. He expected to give me $50 for expenses for the whole month. He doesn't see it as fair that I have worked all my life and worked my butt off for what I have. no way jose. I actually offered to put his name on it and he refused because he said that belongs to the children if I were to ever keel over and die. I didn't push the matter and if HE were to be the one to bring it up that would be a HUGE red flag for me!

omg there's too many to go through and I'm already pooped. I guess I had to reply again though because it's not like I"m immune to everything on the list, it's just looking at it all and including the things I think are red flags, seriously I couldn't deal with that but I am not as strong as some on here. I'm 43, 2 tweens, fulltime job and seriously have no energy for bullsh!t in my life. That's just me.

[childress_london 3]

No they don't trust me LOL! However there are times when I confuse my husband with my 5 year old because they both are asking me "why???" or "what's to eat??" or "I don't want to get up..."

LOL. Just the other day my husband was so tired cuz he didn't get any sleep the night before. I kept telling him to go to bed and finally he stamped his foot and said, "I don't WANT to go to bed!'. I laughed so hard because he reminded me of a three year old throwing a tantrum.

Karmell and Amal you hit the nail on the head. This is dead on in so many ways to our relationship. Rahma I think you are right to some degree with your situation. While we too are young and building our life together we have 2 kids so that makes our situation a little more difficult. The sending money home issue is a biggie for us. We send monthly, because his mom is a widower as well as in special situations and holidays. It's definetely hard sometimes and I wish that there was someway we could claim his mom as a dependent for tax purposes (alas no SSN for her). Patience is huge. Sure there are some couples that seem to have the "perfect" relationship, and I think a lot seem that way at first but in time it definetely starts to grate, issues spring up and must be dealt with. Another hurdle we have is the perception of my family. It took my parents a long time to see that us sending money to his family was not a luxury but really something they depended on. It also took them a long time to understand how hard the adjustment for my husband was. Now that they get it it's almost too late but at least they do have some compassion and understanding for the past.

My mother doesn't care much for my husband. She calls him the "tiny arab"... She says he's egotistical, self centered/absorbed, and is an a$$$$ all the way around. He says she's a drama queen and doesn't like how she nit picks about EVERYTHING in our lives (long story..would take 10 pages to explain).

My father, on the other hand, is super relaxed like I am. He has asked me a few times if the man honestly makes me happy. I can't really explain the details of my answer to him on this in a public forum.

Bottom line is that I love my husband very much and am trying my best to help him become more attentative towards both myself and my son. He's a prude about a lot of issues. He's also extremely intelligent (which has it's ups and downs)

There are more good days than bad and we are both getting better. I'm sure he has a long long list of stuff that aggravates him about me lmao

Ohhhh egotistical. I can relate to that one. ;-) Well, at least he admits it. LOL.

OK just had to say it's too early in the morning for this deep thought! LOL. It must be the linguist in me coming out. Oh and the correct word is pluralizing. ;-) OMG, make me stop! I'll try better next time, Amal.

Oh you just had to go and try to make it make sense on a Wednesday morning...what WILL we do with you???

Hug

[childress_london 3]

LOL...some of these are soooo familiar.

Ok, this is what I have learned since we have been married. I'm not gonna say what our situation is other than that he is from a MENA country. I will say he is very self-centered and usually looks out for himself. So my advice is totally from that (and only MY) perspective. I envy those of you who have a calm, even-keeled man who will take responsibility for his actions. So please don't think all MENA men are like this but there are more than a few around. He has been on his own for a good many years, so he is as set in his ways as I am in mine....lol

1. Get him Arabic Satellite TV. That has been his lifeline. [/color]Mine figured out how to watch Turkish TV on the internet, including live soccer games...don't ask me how he does it, I have no idea.

2. See if there is somebody he knows living in the USA that he can talk to for free. It is too dang expensive for them to talk to their buddies overseas for very long. ...or get Skype! Mine calls his family/friends for free on the computer

3. Don't leave him alone if you don't have to to get in trouble on the computer--(don't even ask!!!) LOL mine doesn't get "in trouble", but he takes it everywhere...including the WC (he will even talk by webcam while sitting on the John!)

4. English classes are good, but his didnt' have enough people to keep them going after a few months. Mine is taking ESL....or I am, I'm not sure which, as he fenagles me into doing all his homework for him!

5. Get him a cellphone, but be sure to tell him the limits. When you are paying, they sometimes don't really care about costs. Yes! And it must be a fancy/expensive one too!

6. He will think he should be able to get a job for a lot more than minimum wage. Yeah, I know they said before they got here they will do any kind of work. BS Yeah, we went thru this too....

8. Get him studying for driving test for your state. If he has no experience, get permit, not license. Don't forget to add that he will be learning to drive YOUR CAR (and you will be cringing, as I did, when he throws it into Park while you're still moving along at 20 mph!)

9. Expect him to want to start his own business and expect it to be wildly successful, either here or in home country, expecting only to invest a small amount of money. Yeah, BTDT....

10. Expect him to want to send money home to family, especially during Ramadan and other special days. He will also need to send money for family medical problems, etc. Yesss....

11. If he smokes, good luck getting him to do it outside of the house. Get him to the doctor ASAP and get him a prescription for Chantix! Mine supposedly quit on that stuff, but I suspect he still smokes occasionally when I'm not around...however, the mere fact that he claims to have quit prevents him from smoking in the house any more...

12. Give him a good part of the closet. Sooo true! Mine has more clothes (and more expensive clothes) than I do...and at least 5 times as many pairs of shoes!! And is VERY particular about how his clothes are washed.

13. If you own the house, expect him to want you to put his name on it too or he won't want to put any effort into taking care of it. He expected to give me $50 for expenses for the whole month. He doesn't see it as fair that I have worked all my life and worked my butt off for what I have. Also, keep in mind that he may not understand the concept of cutting the grass and will not see the point of doing so...

14. Expect him to be totally shocked at the difficulty of applying for and interviewing for a job. He has been used to just showing up and asking around for a job. The concept of applying online was totally foreign to him...took awhile to convince him that's the way its done here, and spent many a night filling out applications for him.

25. We did better when he got his own checking account. Many fights were over how much he should pay for expenses and poor thing, he couldnt' save most of his pay check. Welcome to the real world, baby. He couldn't believe they actually charge fees for overdrafts...and stilll does not feel comfortable writing checks. He says only the rich ppl wrote checks in Turkey.

More to come You have more??.....love to all!!!

OMG!! I asked Wael if he was SURE he was from Egypt!!! This is just unbelievable what you have written.

I just don't know what to say. My hubby is NOTHING like you have written.

But he's still the best thing since sliced bread...

You said it!

[childress_london 3]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

Amal how old is your son? I remember when my daughter was little, she was afraid to go outside for the longest time. I don't know why. It was like a phobia. One day when I made her go outside with me for a few minutes (she was about 2-1/2 at the time) the wind was blowing a little. She got really scared and pointed to the trees swaying in the wind. When I asked her why she was afraid, she said because the trees were moving and making the wind! I realized she was seeing the world from a totally different perspective. She's a teenager now, but still not very outdoorsy (no outdoor phobia anymore though - LOL).

[childress_london 3]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

I can tell you that I learned to hate TV and movies w/ a passion. Not until recently when I was pregnant and couldn't really go out much did I start to watch TV/movies again. Now I watch it in healthy doses (if there is such a thing ).

I'm with you on that one! I can't sit through a tv show or a movie for five minutes. Then I get bored and have to get up and do something else. Thankfully my SO is the same way! Yay! My TV rarely comes on at all. The computer on the other hand..... I think we are both addicts. (Hmmmm that might be why my degree is computer science and his is software engineering.) LOL

[amal 4]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

Amal how old is your son? I remember when my daughter was little, she was afraid to go outside for the longest time. I don't know why. It was like a phobia. One day when I made her go outside with me for a few minutes (she was about 2-1/2 at the time) the wind was blowing a little. She got really scared and pointed to the trees swaying in the wind. When I asked her why she was afraid, she said because the trees were moving and making the wind! I realized she was seeing the world from a totally different perspective. She's a teenager now, but still not very outdoorsy (no outdoor phobia anymore though - LOL).

My son is 9 now (almost 10). He doesn't like to go outside because he says he gets bored and has no friends to play with. It always seems that if he actually does go outside, there are NEVER kids out there to play with. I don't know how to fix this problem. It makes me sad. When I was young, I didn't like to be INDOORS. I was outside from the buttcrack of Dawn until the streetlights came on at night. I would only go inside to eat and then was back out again.

My sons hatred to the outdoors came around when he was about 2 years old and came down with Severe Aplastic Anemia and was soooooo immunodeficient that he couldn't leave the confinement of the house/hospital. He had to wear masks at one point to ensure that no germs got to him. He spent a good 3 months not being able to move at all because the medications made his bones hurt severely so the only thing he could do (that didn't hurt) was watch tv and play video games.

This was all during that 2 to 5 years in the beginning of a childs life when they get their personalities and attitudes towards life that sticks with them forever so this disease really screwed with his idea of fun.

[tanyakaraman 0]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

Amal how old is your son? I remember when my daughter was little, she was afraid to go outside for the longest time. I don't know why. It was like a phobia. One day when I made her go outside with me for a few minutes (she was about 2-1/2 at the time) the wind was blowing a little. She got really scared and pointed to the trees swaying in the wind. When I asked her why she was afraid, she said because the trees were moving and making the wind! I realized she was seeing the world from a totally different perspective. She's a teenager now, but still not very outdoorsy (no outdoor phobia anymore though - LOL).

My son is 9 now (almost 10). He doesn't like to go outside because he says he gets bored and has no friends to play with. It always seems that if he actually does go outside, there are NEVER kids out there to play with. I don't know how to fix this problem. It makes me sad. When I was young, I didn't like to be INDOORS. I was outside from the buttcrack of Dawn until the streetlights came on at night. I would only go inside to eat and then was back out again.

My sons hatred to the outdoors came around when he was about 2 years old and came down with Severe Aplastic Anemia and was soooooo immunodeficient that he couldn't leave the confinement of the house/hospital. He had to wear masks at one point to ensure that no germs got to him. He spent a good 3 months not being able to move at all because the medications made his bones hurt severely so the only thing he could do (that didn't hurt) was watch tv and play video games.

This was all during that 2 to 5 years in the beginning of a childs life when they get their personalities and attitudes towards life that sticks with them forever so this disease really screwed with his idea of fun.

My older 2 kids are like that. They used to go outside all the time when they were little. We had to move and lived in an apartment for a year. There, there was nothing for them to do outside and no kids to play with and I guess they just got used to staying indoors. Now we live in a more kid-friendly neighborhood and I have to force them to go outside...and when I do, they are back in 5 minutes or less saying it's too hot, too cold or too boring! One time a few months ago, I got them to go out and my son actually made a friend. They were playing tag and having a good old time and I was so happy! Next thing I know, my son got pushed over on his head and we ended up in the ER with him with a concussion! And that was the end of that...

My little one, on the other hand, is my little social butterfly. She knows every kid in the neighborhood including the ones who are much younger or older than her. I can't keep that girl in the house and half the time, I have to scour the neighborhood to find her at dinner time! I'm not sure whether to be happy or worried about that....

[nunyab 0]

you know to be honest i was the same way hated to be outside my mom made me... then i started doing crazy things like jumping off the garage with an umbrella, a sheet etc or other neighborhood chaois. Until I met my best friend and we always were outside before you knew it.. couldn't never get us in for years...... my poor mother when i hit about 13 I found the cute boys in the hood mom didn't like that so much really quick.

[childress_london 3]

Thats what I'm most worried about. My son gets really down coz of it. Now, just to clue u in on him (my son) a little bit...he REFUSES to go outside. This stems from when he was sick early in his life. It drives me crazy and I tell him all the time that he needs to go outside and make friends and he wouldn't be so bored all the time. I do worry about what he is learning from seeing hubster constantly on the laptop....

Amal how old is your son? I remember when my daughter was little, she was afraid to go outside for the longest time. I don't know why. It was like a phobia. One day when I made her go outside with me for a few minutes (she was about 2-1/2 at the time) the wind was blowing a little. She got really scared and pointed to the trees swaying in the wind. When I asked her why she was afraid, she said because the trees were moving and making the wind! I realized she was seeing the world from a totally different perspective. She's a teenager now, but still not very outdoorsy (no outdoor phobia anymore though - LOL).

My son is 9 now (almost 10). He doesn't like to go outside because he says he gets bored and has no friends to play with. It always seems that if he actually does go outside, there are NEVER kids out there to play with. I don't know how to fix this problem. It makes me sad. When I was young, I didn't like to be INDOORS. I was outside from the buttcrack of Dawn until the streetlights came on at night. I would only go inside to eat and then was back out again.

My sons hatred to the outdoors came around when he was about 2 years old and came down with Severe Aplastic Anemia and was soooooo immunodeficient that he couldn't leave the confinement of the house/hospital. He had to wear masks at one point to ensure that no germs got to him. He spent a good 3 months not being able to move at all because the medications made his bones hurt severely so the only thing he could do (that didn't hurt) was watch tv and play video games.

This was all during that 2 to 5 years in the beginning of a childs life when they get their personalities and attitudes towards life that sticks with them forever so this disease really screwed with his idea of fun.

Awwww...poor thing. :-( I was always outside playing too,usually by myself, sometimes with others. I didn't need other kids to play outside. I had a pretty good imagination. LOL. I wouldn't push your son to go outside if he really doesn't like it. Get him a Wii instead. :-) Or maybe you could offer to do things with him outside when you have time. Get bikes and go riding, go for a walk, get him a dart tag game and play outside with him. :-D Fun stuff. Oh, and my son loves his skateboard. He'll spend forever in the driveway on it - all by himself! (He's almost 12 BTW)

Edited January 9, 2009 by childress_london