Risks associated with marrying a foreign girl

[Danno 1,228]

Russian women are no picnic

But I married one anyway....

And I imagine you are happy. (hope so)

I hear this quite often but I must confess, my wife *is* a picnic.

I expected some of this "angelic" personality to wear off.....but it hasn't happened yet.

Let me publicly state; If her and I were to ever hit "splits-ville",

the blame would be on me.

[jundp 191]

My advice: Don't underestimate the importance of good hair. Be sensitive if she needs a lot of hair products, to include extensions and wigs, to achieve the desired effect. However, she may not taste as good after being encased in Aqua Net, but these are things you have to figure out.

Ah, what would we do without Joyce?

[symbiosis 0]

If a girl is totally committed to doing and saying everything in her power to make me happy, just to obtain a green card, how would I discern? It seems as if this is how American men get sucked in. I'm not saying it's true, but surely this reputation has it's roots in some sort of reality?

Yeah, it happens. It's happened to some people here, and it happened to a coworker of mine [not sure she was Russian, may have been Eastern European] and to a high school friend who met a girl while studying in Russia. In the latter case he and his family helped her to get a student visa (fortunately he was too young to be thinking K visas), only to have her lose all interest in him the moment she got here.

Risk of fraud is affected by a number of things:

- Country of origin

- Way that you met

- Age differential

- 'Desirability' differential (looks, wages, education, etc)

- Ability to make a real relationship work (does she speak any language that you do?)

- Her reason for looking for a mate outside her country.

There's a range of reasons for a woman to seek a mate outside her country. Some are pretty cheesy ("All the men here are lousy"), some make more sense (i.e., a woman in an ethnic or religious minority wants to meet more people who share her heritage or beliefs).

You asked about warning signs. Apart from being aware that certain consulates are inherently higher-risk than others, I'd basically be wary of anything that would make you say "She only loves him for his (money, status, etc)" if she were American. Also, watch for odd behavior - like a girl who's in a mad rush to the altar with seemingly anyone.

As long as we're going for the yawning generalizations here: "all the men are lousy" can be true. I don't want to point fingers at any particular nationality/ethnicity, but many (not all) guys -- especially village-level creeps in some developing countries -- are never-do-wells who have become culturally accustomed to spending their days drinking and goofing off while women work. To me it's no surprise that women in Absurdistan go for foreign guys. And really, since women do (whatever the feminists say) tend to be attracted to men who can give them security, who should we be to condemn them any more than we do men who go for beautiful women in say, Thailand, the Philippines or Brazil (just some random examples).

I'd like to take issue with some other points here:

- Country of origin

While there is more outright fraud from some countries, this is a BIG generalization. I would say, for example, that women from the United States are some of the worst offenders for marrying for money.-

Way that you met

How many couples in the U.S. now meet "online"? How many at "pick up" bars?-

Age differential

This can be a factor, yes. But some cultures are more attuned to younger women, older men. I think as long as the difference is not extreme, it's not necessarily a factor.- 'Desirability' differential (looks, wages, education, etc)

This is extremely objective. I have traveled extensively and discovered that almost without exception, the women that I thought were attractive (because they were "exotic" looking, or whatever) were considered the least desireable by locals. Likewise, in many of those places, western men who would be considered average or unattractive in their home countries are genuinely seen as handsome. This is no joke. Most Thai men don't think my finacee is attractive because she's dum mak (very dark). This seems absurd to me, but they think light-skinned western women are attractive.

These two I basically agree with:

- Ability to make a real relationship work (does she speak any language that you do?)

- Her reason for looking for a mate outside her country.

[Ilya R. 0]

Russian women are no picnic

But I married one anyway....

And I imagine you are happy. (hope so)

I hear this quite often but I must confess, my wife *is* a picnic.

I expected some of this "angelic" personality to wear off.....but it hasn't happened yet.

Let me publicly state; If her and I were to ever hit "splits-ville",

the blame would be on me.

I am indeed, but I am also Russian so its an easier transition for both, me and her.

[InnocentBystander 0]

I just have to say one question comes to my mind when I think about marrying a girl from Russia. Why would she be interested in leaving her entire family and friends behind for a foreign man? Sure, there would be the rare exception of two people falling in love naturally and a wonderful marriage follows. I understand that, but these girls are all over the internet, looking for Western men.

I think they are looking for security and a better life abroad. But, let me clarify... as a somewhat successful young bachelor myself, I can tell you most single American girls (and yes EVEN MARRIED WOMEN) want something tangible in their relationship. Whether it be money, looks, security, sex... I've had a few married American women flirt with me and would probably risk losing their husbands for a fling. I'm average (at best) looks-wise, so I'd say it is because I am single and I make good money. This entices women. I hate to say it, but it does and many of them will admit to it if you talk to them long enough.

So, I am not judging Russian girls. I suppose I am like the hopeless romantic, who wishes true love was something more commonplace in this generation. These days, it seems everybody is basically using somebody (even if they don't realize it). Hence the divorce rates and the rampant infidelity.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I dunno, dude. It sounds like you're making a lot of judgments (despite your claims to the contrary) about women's motivations. Everyone--male and female--wants something tangible from a relationship. Love may or may not be involved. The rise in divorce rates has coincided largely with the rise of the love-based marriage.

[NickD 203]

I just have to say one question comes to my mind when I think about marrying a girl from Russia. Why would she be interested in leaving her entire family and friends behind for a foreign man? Sure, there would be the rare exception of two people falling in love naturally and a wonderful marriage follows. I understand that, but these girls are all over the internet, looking for Western men.

I think they are looking for security and a better life abroad. But, let me clarify... as a somewhat successful young bachelor myself, I can tell you most single American girls (and yes EVEN MARRIED WOMEN) want something tangible in their relationship. Whether it be money, looks, security, sex... I've had a few married American women flirt with me and would probably risk losing their husbands for a fling. I'm average (at best) looks-wise, so I'd say it is because I am single and I make good money. This entices women. I hate to say it, but it does and many of them will admit to it if you talk to them long enough.

So, I am not judging Russian girls. I suppose I am like the hopeless romantic, who wishes true love was something more commonplace in this generation. These days, it seems everybody is basically using somebody (even if they don't realize it). Hence the divorce rates and the rampant infidelity.

We visit my wife's family frequently and always keep the call cards up to date, plus the internet, ha, could move in with my mother-in-law, has a nice large brick home with a court yard. But also has bars on the windows and doors and takes three keys to get into the place.

I have dealt with some Russian women before I met my wife, watch out for the ones that post these very professional photos, what you see and what you get are two different things. Some claim the average man in Russia drinks himself to death, typical death rate is around 45 years of age. Get a passport, and fly over there to see in person. Also spoke with several over the phone, most do not own a computer, but use their computers at work, and the same with having a private phone line. Several I spoke with had very bad experiences with American men, all kinds of promises, phony photos, and even married. If you are over 40, watch out for those young ones that claim they like older men and are asking for a plane ticket. Did become good internet friends with one, but after a few months, dropped off, just the experience of talking with a foreigner I guess.

Also, if you do find one worth getting serious with, have to keep a log for the USCIS, letters, visits, time spent together, etc. Still time makes all the difference, if they rush you into something, forget it.

[mox 298]

I have dealt with some Russian women before I met my wife, watch out for the ones that post these very professional photos, what you see and what you get are two different things.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The girls you want to consider seriously are the ones with unprofessional photos taken in front of crappy wallpaper. It's the professional photos that should raise red flags in a minute. A lot of those are just copy/pasted from Russian models, actresses, etc.

Some claim the average man in Russia drinks himself to death, typical death rate is around 45 years of age.

54 is the average death rate amongst Russian men. It will be higher in the cities, lower in the villages. And yeah, alcoholism is the number one cause of death amongst men. The number one cause of death amongst married women in Russia is murder by their spouse.

Get a passport, and fly over there to see in person.

Good advice, although it's best to use an agency in this case to arrange a translator/guide.

Also spoke with several over the phone, most do not own a computer, but use their computers at work, and the same with having a private phone line.

This is highly dependent on where the woman lives and her socioeconomic status. If she lives in Moscow or St. Pete, she very likely has her own computer. In fact I'd be suspicious if she doesn't. For anywhere else, it really depends.

Several I spoke with had very bad experiences with American men, all kinds of promises, phony photos, and even married. If you are over 40, watch out for those young ones that claim they like older men and are asking for a plane ticket. Did become good internet friends with one, but after a few months, dropped off, just the experience of talking with a foreigner I guess.

Any woman, Russian or otherwise, who asks for money is likely to be a scammer. But Russian women do typically go for older men. Yes, if she is 22 and you are 55, that's a problem. But if she's 25 and you're 40, it's not such a big difference for most Russian women.

Also, if you do find one worth getting serious with, have to keep a log for the USCIS, letters, visits, time spent together, etc. Still time makes all the difference, if they rush you into something, forget it.

The requirements for a K1 visa are that you have met within the last 2 years and you are both free to marry. There is NO "time spent together" requirement.

[bhajishah 4]

I would worry about the risks of marrying a hot young foreign girl, the young american soldiers and non denture wearing guys in the clubs and etc would be very tempting.

[panamania79 2]

I would worry about the risks of marrying a hot young foreign girl, the young american soldiers and non denture wearing guys in the clubs and etc would be very tempting.

[panamania79 2]

I would worry about the risks of marrying a hot young foreign girl, the young american soldiers and non denture wearing guys in the clubs and etc would be very tempting.

Isn't it funny how the denture wearers manage to get their SO's their visas really quick ?

[bhajishah 4]

but then i read where the typical sex addict pays 2 gs a week for it, then might be some money saved add houskeeper and babsitter. might be and economic plus!! for 3-5 yrs ne way. unless you have to support the village. I dont know. just roll dice and see how it lands.

[Otto 83]

I would worry about the risks of marrying a hot young foreign girl, the young american soldiers and non denture wearing guys in the clubs and etc would be very tempting.

Huh?

[Caladan 19]

I wouldn't put a lot of faith in the statistics when applying it to your individual case; that 20% could be drawn from couples from the same culture (many, many immigrants are marrying someone from 'back home'). That 20% could just count marriages that survive two years. That 20% could just be a stat made up to get you to think that you should do business with some particular marriage broker. That 20% could be because people will stay in unhappy marriages.

And even if it were 100% true, across populations and time, what would that say about your individual chances? Nothing. There are American-American couples who last 50 years. There are American-foreign couples that last three weeks. Divorce, like relationships, are a very individual thing; if you're looking to buy a guarantee, there isn't one. Best way to make sure your marriage lasts is to get to know the person and make sure they have similar values.

[shaggy_mutt 0]

As long as we're going for the yawning generalizations here

Yeah, 10-4, but if I get specific then it's going to get pretty colorful in a hurry. We all know which consulates are high fraud, no need to give their fans a coronary.

I'd like to take issue with some other points here:

- Country of origin

While there is more outright fraud from some countries, this is a BIG generalization. I would say, for example, that women from the United States are some of the worst offenders for marrying for money.-

You're quite right that there are domestic equivalents to visa fraud. No argument there.

Way that you met

How many couples in the U.S. now meet "online"? How many at "pick up" bars?-

Plenty of successful couples meet online. I doubt very many successful couples meet at "pick up" bars. At any rate, I'm not suggesting that all women who are trying to meet Americans are frauds. Not at all. But I think it's reasonable to say that there is a higher fraud % among that group, simply because "people trying to get to America" is a higher risk group for fraud than "people in general." For any given desirable thing, you'll have people who try to get it honestly, and you'll also have people who will try to get it any way they can. US citizenship is no exception.