It isn't fair

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

What's with all the bending over???

You will get screwed by USCIS and you will like it!

it wouldn't be so bad if they at least kissed you afterwards!!!

Or buy you dinner first!

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

My momma and poppa named me Shiloh Nouvel! Now THAT is not fair!!

[ajames79 0]

my ear is sunburned.

That is un fair!

But I get ya.

oh that's the worst! I guess it is fair cause you didn't put enough sunscreen on it haha

See I think I totally missed that ear...Cause the other one isn't burnt at all!! It is unfair that I really can't remember! But this I know! I WILL remember next time!

[*Robert* 2]

if everything was fair, it wouldn't be any fun, and nothing to complain about, except complain that everything is fair!

[sarah and hicham 3]

my ear is sunburned.

That is un fair!

But I get ya.

oh that's the worst! I guess it is fair cause you didn't put enough sunscreen on it haha

See I think I totally missed that ear...Cause the other one isn't burnt at all!! It is unfair that I really can't remember! But this I know! I WILL remember next time!

hahaha yeah sunburned ears are seriously the worst it hurts so bad.

[ajames79 0]

my ear is sunburned.

That is un fair!

But I get ya.

oh that's the worst! I guess it is fair cause you didn't put enough sunscreen on it haha

See I think I totally missed that ear...Cause the other one isn't burnt at all!! It is unfair that I really can't remember! But this I know! I WILL remember next time!

hahaha yeah sunburned ears are seriously the worst it hurts so bad.

some sympathy!!!!!!!

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

You know this post really got me thinking. Perhaps it's because yesterday was my oldest son's birthday. Life isn't fair that is for sure, but it's how you handle it that counts. I have said that I wouldn't post my personal life on here but sometimes something really moves you and motivates to share personal experiences. My oldest son, his name is Zechariah. When I was pregnant with him, my ob found a brain tumor on my unborn child. He then told me that I had to go upto CHildren's hospital so they can monitor it and tell me what the plan of action is or would be. I went up to this so called hospital every month of my pregnancy starting at the 4th month which is when you typically have your first sonogram. What was their plan of action? Nothing because the tumor was in a location where they wouldn't even be able to operate in utero. So the alternative was to council me and try and talk me into aborting him even up in my 8th month. Every month I had to sit there and listen to them tell me that he would be born with severe downs syndrome where we would have to institutionalize him or he wouldn't make it through child birth. I would have to sign the form saying that I was told about the choices that I have but declined them. This way they won't be sued when my son comes out with DS or doesn't live. I even asked the specialist what she would do as a mother and all I have to say is what a sad state of affairs it is when we can no longer ask our doctors for personal opinions because they can get sued!! Well, me being me and believing that things happen for a reason, I chose not to have that abortion. When I went for the sonogram in my 9th month of pregnancy, the tumor had gone away. Just like that. I couldn't believe it! When they gave me the picture, I kept comparing it with the previous sonogram pics and just got on my knees and thanked God for this miracle. The doctor still insisted that because of where it was, it could have some ramifications. When he was born, he wasn't breating at all. I didn't even get to hold him right away. They held him up for me to see then whisked him away. I didn't even know. But, they brought him back about 30 minutes later and he was beautiful. And other than that, he was born perfectly healtyh. They even tested his IQ when he was 4 and the results were amazing!!!

Unfortunately, when my son was around 2, he started getting sick for no appearant reason. I took him to the doctors and they said it was just nerves. They knew about his medical history before he was born but never thought nothing of it. THis went on for about 3 years. It wasn't consistant at this stage but it was enough where I knew it wasn't normal. I even took him to another doctor, they tested him and came up with nothing. Then they suggested taking him to a ear, nose, and throat doctor. They looked at his tonsils and they were the size of a golf ball. So out they came along with his adnoids. They assured me that that would relieve his vomitting. Well, for the first year after, he was fine. But then the school started calling. Seems like Zechs behaviour was dramatically changing. He was stealing, lying, getting into fights, his grades were dropping considerably, and he was getting sick again, but more frequently. So, off to the doctors he went. He said he was fine, and that it was just stress from his parents getting a divorce. I was really gutted. I felt like everything was all of my fault. About two months ago, I called my children and my ex told me that he took Zech to a new doctor. YEs, the tumor is back. THe doctor said it is small but can get worse. It is in the same place as it was the first time. THis would explain the dramatic change of behaviour in my son.

I wanted to go back to the states right then, but my ex told me that there is nothing that I can do right now and has been wonderful in keeping me informed. Of course I was livid that he hadn't called me but he assured me that there was nothing we can do at this point. When I went back in March to get my visa to marry here in the UK, my son even told me that he just wants to be normal and not have everyone fuss over him. He said "mom, go back and bring Ian back here"! So, that is what I am focusing on. This is the same kid that at 5 years old when placed in the corner for hitting his younger brother..looked at him and said "See..if you would have listened to mother...we wouldn't be in this predicament would we???"" How can you not laught at that?? lol. I never say big words like that to my children so where he got that from..who knows..

Everyday I pray. I pray that God will heal him once again. So no, life isn't fair. I don't ask for favours much. In fact that is one thing my husband hates...that I don't ever ask for help. So yes, in this one instance, I will ask for help from anywhere I can get it. I don't want sympathy..in fact I hate getting it. All I ask is for people to be more understanding of others without making them feel like they have to explain themselves. I do think this process brings out emotions in people that they have never been able to share. THis forum is wonderful and the ppl here are great. Just remember when you think that life is throwing you a bit a wrench, remember that there are always ppl out there that are going through something worse off than you. My son says that about himself. Says that there are kids being abused and he feels that that is worse. Bless! We are all here for support. So if someone feels like they need to let some stress out and complain...then by all means let them. For some, this is the only place that they can do it. Everyone has their own cross to carry...its just how you handle it. It makes you stronger as a person if you don't let it control your life.

Thanks for letting me share.

Laura Mitchell

[sarah and hicham 3]

Wow. Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry about your son, I don't think there is anything I could say to make thngs better but I appreciate you sharing your story. Take care,

Sarah

[raymaga 25]

I admire your strength..... and your ability to believe in good things.

I hope everything works out for your son and that he returns to good health real soon.

Best wishes to your family.

[JenT 0]

Hi Laura,

Thanks for giving us a perspective about what we can consider to be 'fair' in our own lives. I've taught my children from an ealry age that "fair' and 'equal' are not the same thing. As a result, there is no sibling rivalry in our home.

You've alluded before to having 'personal' reasons for expediting your process.... thank you for sharing your story. If it came down to my petition and yours, I would insist that yours be given priority. Kids come first.

Jen

[Sister Fracas 5]

We are all here for support. So if someone feels like they need to let some stress out and complain...then by all means let them. For some, this is the only place that they can do it. Everyone has their own cross to carry...its just how you handle it. It makes you stronger as a person if you don't let it control your life.

[Fuzzness 2]

It's not fair that I didn't get my visa 24 hours after filing the petition

[Sister Fracas 5]

It's not fair that I didn't get my visa 24 hours after filing the petition

you're too cute and cuddly to complain...

[shakysgirl 1]

Life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean we can't complain about it if we want or need to do so. Laura, I appreciate your post- I don't think it's fair my little daughter named Rosie died when she was aged 2 from neuroblastoma when I now work as a social worker in a nursing home watching 100 year old people with dementia live.

It never bothers me when I read posts on people complaining about the visa process or how unfair they think it is- what bothers me are the self- righteous jerks on this site who band together and slam people for having a much needed whinge about how they are feeling.

[almaty 19]

life is a ####### and then you marry one.