I'm considering divorce...

[fine_print 0]

Hello everyone!

I visited VJ several times in the past while I was in the CR1 process. The support and information here is tremendously great, and I'm really thankful to you all.

I don't know if this question has been answered here before; the search results are overwhelming. So I'm just going to ask it anyway.

How can I file for divorce and have it made final as soon as possible, hopefully not in a expensive way?

Here's my case. I am the foreign spouse and came here through a DCF/CR1 process. Since we were married for less than two years when I got the visa, the GC is conditional and valid for 2 years. During the recent months, me and my wife (the USC) haven't gotten along very well... in fact, we're getting along badly, to the point when both of us have said very mean things to each other and mentioned divorce several times.

I am seriously considering divorce and heading back to my home country, where I can at least be in emotional peace and get on with my life. The only reason I came to the US was to live with the girl I loved (and which I still do); nothing holds me here if I lose her.

I'm not saying that I will go ahead and divorce my wife first thing in the morning. I'm simply stating that I want to know what divorce is really about, in legal and financial terms. My wife makes good money, but I work a part-time job and earn barely enough to pay our apartment's rent (yes, money is one of the issues between us), so I don't think marriage counseling or expensive divorce attorneys are viable options for me.

Someone I know has told me that divorce procedures are fastest and least painful when both spouses agree to it; I think my wife will agree to file divorce together. We live in Michigan. Also, I need to know if it's possible to get divorced in my home country, where we got married; this option might be cheaper and my family can help me there. Any ideas?

Maybe I sound calculated and cold-hearted. Maybe that's what I'm trying to be through all of this. It doesn't mean I don't deserve better than humilation, loneliness, pain and madness... because I strongly believe I do.

Thanks for everything, guys. You rock!

[mercuryroad 0]

This sounds like a case study......darn lawyers

[antone 0]

Sad situation.

I would say, I think, that a marriage in your home country can't be dissolved in a US court. Perhaps you need to look into procedures there.

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

This sounds like a case study......darn lawyers

?

[Uxorious 0]

How about waiting out that anger and thoughts about divorcing.

Many newly weds go through this, I am sure. I say, wait out the dark clouds of anger and frustration and resentment so forth.

If you just want a clean divorce without contesting her assets and so forth, I suspect your wife would be very willing to go through it and even pay for it.

Contested divorce would be expensive but based on what you have said, she stands to lose more than you do from a bitter and contested divorce.

Hello everyone!

I visited VJ several times in the past while I was in the CR1 process. The support and information here is tremendously great, and I'm really thankful to you all.

I don't know if this question has been answered here before; the search results are overwhelming. So I'm just going to ask it anyway.

How can I file for divorce and have it made final as soon as possible, hopefully not in a expensive way?

Here's my case. I am the foreign spouse and came here through a DCF/CR1 process. Since we were married for less than two years when I got the visa, the GC is conditional and valid for 2 years. During the recent months, me and my wife (the USC) haven't gotten along very well... in fact, we're getting along badly, to the point when both of us have said very mean things to each other and mentioned divorce several times.

I am seriously considering divorce and heading back to my home country, where I can at least be in emotional peace and get on with my life. The only reason I came to the US was to live with the girl I loved (and which I still do); nothing holds me here if I lose her.

I'm not saying that I will go ahead and divorce my wife first thing in the morning. I'm simply stating that I want to know what divorce is really about, in legal and financial terms. My wife makes good money, but I work a part-time job and earn barely enough to pay our apartment's rent (yes, money is one of the issues between us), so I don't think marriage counseling or expensive divorce attorneys are viable options for me.

Someone I know has told me that divorce procedures are fastest and least painful when both spouses agree to it; I think my wife will agree to file divorce together. We live in Michigan. Also, I need to know if it's possible to get divorced in my home country, where we got married; this option might be cheaper and my family can help me there. Any ideas?

Maybe I sound calculated and cold-hearted. Maybe that's what I'm trying to be through all of this. It doesn't mean I don't deserve better than humilation, loneliness, pain and madness... because I strongly believe I do.

Thanks for everything, guys. You rock!

[rclouse 0]

First off, go to counselling, by yourself if you have to. If your wife loves you and wants your marriage to succeed she'll go with you. See if your wife's company has benefits for this sort of thing, many large companies do. Also there is free/low cost counselling out there, you'll have to look for it but it is available. And go even if she won't go, you'll need the help to deal with the situation whether it works out or not.

If you finally decide to divorce, you'll have either your state's rules to deal with or your country's. Most states force a waiting time on you so you can calm down and think about it before it's final. You'll have to at least register your divorce in your home country, like my ex did in Romania.

Good luck!

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ux...quite possible this has been going on for some time now. It sounds like it, and sounds like he's just trying to find out some info..which I can't provide, unfortunately. I know what you mean tho about trying to work things out, and have divorce be the very last option. It also sounds to me that this is what he has been doing.

OP..I wish you all the best, and hope you CAN sort things out. If you can't, I'm sure you'll get some good responses...we've got some pretty smart people around here. Sorry for what you've been going through. M.

[arwensun1965 1]

How can I file for divorce and have it made final as soon as possible, hopefully not in a expensive way?

So how can one do this if one has not got a lot of money or no job at all??

Janice

[rclouse 0]

Sad situation.

I would say, I think, that a marriage in your home country can't be dissolved in a US court. Perhaps you need to look into procedures there.

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

You're wrong. As I alluded above, I divorced my first wife in California, but when she brought her new husband to Romania and he overstayed (oops!) she found out she needed to register her California divorce there. She sent me some Romanian legal documents, and after confirming there was no funny business from Romanian VJers, I signed 'em and sent them back.

[antone 0]

You're wrong. As I alluded above, I divorced my first wife in California, but when she brought her new husband to Romania and he overstayed (oops!) she found out she needed to register her California divorce there. She sent me some Romanian legal documents, and after confirming there was no funny business from Romanian VJers, I signed 'em and sent them back.

OK, thank you

[pax 1]

If you are interested in counseling and can't afford it, Catholic Community Charities provides free or low-cost mental health services. Your Catholic diocese should have a branch of CCC, sometimes called Catholic Social Services, attached to it. They provide services regardless of religious affiliation, and their providers are licensed social workers and psychologists, not religious workers.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states/mi/midivfaq.htm

[fine_print 0]

Thank you all for your responses. Below are some clarifications from me.

So how can one do this if one has not got a lot of money or no job at all??

Janice

I don't have a lot of money, but I do have a part-time job. And besides, my (blood-related) family is behind me 200% percent and have assured me they will help me in every way possible, even financially.

If you just want a clean divorce without contesting her assets and so forth, I suspect your wife would be very willing to go through it and even pay for it.

I hope so. All I want from her is her signature on the divorce papers; nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks, pax, for the CCC info. My problem is that, although I do write and read English quite well, I find it hard to understand spoken (American) English. Strange, I know, but true.

diadromous mermaid, thanks for the link. I read it and was a bit relieved to find out that the fee is about $65. Anyway, I'm willing to pay even more; if not for anything else, to find peace and get time to heal.

rclouse, she works two jobs and attends school, and I don't believe she would care much to find time for counseling anyway.

Thank you, Michelle, for the kind words; I need them too.

Thanks to everyone else for their insight, wishes and encouragement. I will keep you posted.

[almaty 19]

Thank you all for your responses. Below are some clarifications from me.

So how can one do this if one has not got a lot of money or no job at all??

Janice

I don't have a lot of money, but I do have a part-time job. And besides, my (blood-related) family is behind me 200% percent and have assured me they will help me in every way possible, even financially.

If you just want a clean divorce without contesting her assets and so forth, I suspect your wife would be very willing to go through it and even pay for it.

I hope so. All I want from her is her signature on the divorce papers; nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks, pax, for the CCC info. My problem is that, although I do write and read English quite well, I find it hard to understand spoken (American) English. Strange, I know, but true.

diadromous mermaid, thanks for the link. I read it and was a bit relieved to find out that the fee is about $65. Anyway, I'm willing to pay even more; if not for anything else, to find peace and get time to heal.

rclouse, she works two jobs and attends school, and I don't believe she would care much to find time for counseling anyway.

Thank you, Michelle, for the kind words; I need them too.

Thanks to everyone else for their insight, wishes and encouragement. I will keep you posted.

good luck my friend..i know you are under allot of stress..i wish you the best...dean

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

it's also a good idea to do a search on the internet for the laws for the state you live in. find out what the grounds are, the waiting period from filing to divorce, and so on.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

You're more than welcome. I just can't imagine having gone through this entire process and then having this happen. I wrote much less than what I was feeling earlier, as I'm sure did many who read your news; my heart goes out to you. M.