Why is this such popular behavior ?

[*JG* 2]

Many of my co-workers both male and female have approached me and told me how lucky I am not to have to deal with my SO and that I should be happy that he's in Panama and I'm here.They say things such as "At least you can spend your money the way you want." I really don't see thus as being lucky.Many of them also say that they rather be at work than at home dealing with their SO's.

Sometimes I feel like this; but it doesn't last long. Sometimes it is best to just step away from the person and the situation for a while till you calm down enough to talk about it without screaming at each other.

[raymaga 26]

I honestly think the main reason people start saying negative things about marriage is because they are unhappy and want everyone else to be unhappy too. There's comfort in crowds!!!!

[Nessa 23]

well misery loves company

[Mononoke28 137]

Well for one, I don't understand how people can just talk about their personal lives at work all day long. Seriously, I see them here at work and it just baffles me, just airing out personal issues for the whole world to hear. Don't get it.

Secondly, I also think that people LOOOOOOOVE to complain about anything and they feel they have a common denominator when it comes to talking bad about their SOs. It's like a bonding experience and they just feed off each other when they do it. I tend to sit back and watch them and it's just very interesting to me.

Diana

[Nessa 23]

Well for one, I don't understand how people can just talk about their personal lives at work all day long. Seriously, I see them here at work and it just baffles me, just airing out personal issues for the whole world to hear. Don't get it.

2 things I don't do at work:

- complain about my personal life. Sometimes me and the admin talk about how our husbands are babies, but just for fun.

- trash other co-workers or people that used to be co-workers (since most people at MWR move around all the time, we usually wind up working with half of the employees at a certain point, so everybody knows everybody)

The first one, it's none of anybody's business my personal life. The second one I think it'll come back to bite me in the a$$, so I keep it to myself.

[Mononoke28 137]

Oh I've seen it happen. I was in telecommunications for a very long time and in this industry people tend to go from one company to the next and end up working for the same people who used to work for you years before. I've seen doors being shut because of this and I've seen people lose their jobs because of this. It's a very small world out there.

Diana

[Sinergy 3]

This is such a sore spot for me. I spent 2 years away from my husband thanks to the Casa consulate. Marriage isn't easy, but to anyone who says something like that to someone who has to fight immigration just to have the right to live with your spouse should be put in their place.

Maybe because we are forced to be separated for a time, we appreciate our SO's more than most. I hear what the OP posted a lot, and I feel sorry for people. But then I wonder how much they bring on themselves by not investing in their marriage.

Nah i know many ppl who are married and appriciate their SO and didnt go thru immigration, i get annoyed when i hear all the time "we went thru immigration, and seperation, we are more special"...seperation doesnt mean we appreciate our SO's more than others. Marrying for the right reasons, yes!

Edited August 6, 2008 by Sinergy

[David-and-Mae 15]

This is such a sore spot for me. I spent 2 years away from my husband thanks to the Casa consulate. Marriage isn't easy, but to anyone who says something like that to someone who has to fight immigration just to have the right to live with your spouse should be put in their place.

Maybe because we are forced to be separated for a time, we appreciate our SO's more than most. I hear what the OP posted a lot, and I feel sorry for people. But then I wonder how much they bring on themselves by not investing in their marriage.

Nah i know many ppl who are married and appriciate their SO and didnt go thru immigration, i get annoyed when i hear all the time "we went thru immigration, and seperation, we are more special"...seperation doesnt mean we appreciate our SO's more than others. Marrying for the right reasons, yes!

But if you went thru a helluva immigration and at the same time you married for the right reasons, it makes you not take the marriage for granted, right?

[Sinergy 3]

This is such a sore spot for me. I spent 2 years away from my husband thanks to the Casa consulate. Marriage isn't easy, but to anyone who says something like that to someone who has to fight immigration just to have the right to live with your spouse should be put in their place.

Maybe because we are forced to be separated for a time, we appreciate our SO's more than most. I hear what the OP posted a lot, and I feel sorry for people. But then I wonder how much they bring on themselves by not investing in their marriage.

Nah i know many ppl who are married and appriciate their SO and didnt go thru immigration, i get annoyed when i hear all the time "we went thru immigration, and seperation, we are more special"...seperation doesnt mean we appreciate our SO's more than others. Marrying for the right reasons, yes!

But if you went thru a helluva immigration and at the same time you married for the right reasons, it makes you not take the marriage for granted, right?

i think it depends on the person, not weather or not you went thru immigration or not, someone who did go thru immigration can be just as ungratful of their marriage as ppl who dont, and its been seen here on VJ.

[Sister Fracas 5]

i think it depends on the person, not weather or not you went thru immigration or not, someone who did go thru immigration can be just as ungratful of their marriage as ppl who dont, and its been seen here on VJ.

I agree.

I look at it as I won't say anything about hubster online that I wouldn't say to his face...but it's all standard stuff, doesn't clean the house enough and farts too much....nothing out of the ordinary. But I gotta wince when I see how people disrespect their SOs just by the way they behave or write in posts, especially when their SOs aren't members on VJ. I wonder how many people would change how they post if their SOs were on VJ as well.....hmmm.

[morocco4ever 63]

i think it depends on the person, not weather or not you went thru immigration or not, someone who did go thru immigration can be just as ungratful of their marriage as ppl who dont, and its been seen here on VJ.

I agree.

I look at it as I won't say anything about hubster online that I wouldn't say to his face...but it's all standard stuff, doesn't clean the house enough and farts too much....nothing out of the ordinary. But I gotta wince when I see how people disrespect their SOs just by the way they behave or write in posts, especially when their SOs aren't members on VJ. I wonder how many people would change how they post if their SOs were on VJ as well.....hmmm.

It really is sad, but I see people who need someone to confide in, and have no one in their personal life. They then post here on VJ hoping for support. And in some ways they get it, but it leaves them wide open to everyone seeing their issues. I may talk a little here and there about my relationship with my husband, but nothing personal. I prefer to keep that between him and I. I don't blame the person for posting their grievances when they have no one to turn to but I do wince a bit. Some things should not be so openly discussed. Some for the sake of the SO, but not always. A few of the SO's I have seen here don't deserve the respect.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Asking for advice or support for a really personal issue is such a tricky thing because you have to be able to stomach or withstand all of the negative ####### that will also inevitably be thrown into the mix. And the other thing is getting dozens of different opinions on how to solve your problem. How is someone who is emotionally distraught suppose to wade through all that...AND the fight that breaks out when other people's opinions on how to solve the problem clash? No, I'd rather the advice of a close personal friend or family member if I need it. But id someone DOES know of a way to get hubster to clean the house more and fart less...a tried and true solution...I'm open to hearing it... LOL

Edited August 6, 2008 by Sister Fracas

[tammy2688 1]

I will never understand why people on vj will tell their personal business and downgrade their SO's on a public message board. I have read their demeaning posts and how they make fun of their SO's accent and pronunciation of the English language and think it's downright funny( but meant to humiliate ), the bi##hing about how the SO doesnt like this or doesnt like that or wont do this and wont do that...just the pettiest of bs. It makes me wonder why the insipid dummies got married in the first place.

Sister Nagi is, as always, wise

Right on the money.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I think some people get bitter when things don't turn out as they imagine and they often spend years tied to a person for purely material reasons (shared finances, living arrangements etc). Better to make a clean break as soon as you realise that it isn't working - but that's probably easier said than done.

[Marilyn. 340]

reminds me of my sister-in-law's husband he is constantly bad mouthing his wife, in front of her, his kids, family, friends, neighbors, strangers..

I try not to hate people but he is really gets on my nerves...