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Hi, :help:

A while ago, when I had just come to the US I logged on to VJ. Read a little on how people cope when they get here.

One message that shocked me was how someone had been here for one year and not made any friends.

At that time I had been here for three months and the only thing that was worrying me was getting a job.

Guess what, the message I once thought was shocking is not anymore. I've been here for one year now and I have no friends! No job! and having problems with in-laws.

I feel like the minute I landed foot here, I ceased to exist.

I dont know what to do sometimes I think of going back home but its not that easy.

Am married have a greencard and happily left a good job back at home to come join my husband. :crying::cry:

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Sorry to hear that Lucy. Have you tried going to the regional forums and find some other members that live near you?

Are you religious? Is there a church you can go to to make friends there?

Hopefully you'll get lots of replies from the other women on here.

Hope things get better for you! :D


K-1 Timeline

11-29-05: Mailed I-129F Petition to CSC

12-06-05: NOA1

03-02-06: NOA2

03-23-06: Interview Date May 16

05-17-06: K-1 Visa Issued

05-20-06: Arrived at POE, Honolulu

07-17-06: Married

AOS Timeline

08-14-06: Mailed I-485 to Chicago

08-24-06: NOA for I-485

09-08-06: Biometrics Appointment

09-25-06: I-485 transferred to CSC

09-28-06: I-485 received at CSC

10-18-06: AOS Approved

10-21-06: Approval notice mailed

10-23-06: Received "Welcome Letter"

10-27-06: Received 2 yr Green Card

I-751 Timeline

07-21-08: Mailed I-751 to VSC

07-25-08: NOA for I-751

08-27-08: Biometrics Appointment

02-25-09: I-751 transferred to CSC

04-17-09: I-751 Approved

06-22-09: Received 10 yr Green Card

N-400 Timeline

07-20-09: Mailed N-400 to Lewisville, TX

07-23-09: NOA for N-400

08-14-09: Biometrics Appointment

09-08-09: Interview Date Oct 07

10-30-09: Oath Ceremony

11-20-09: Received Passport!!!

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awwwwwwwwwwww this is not to pry, but to gain insight, as Craig still has issues adjusting as well,which I won't go into further here. Been there, done that. ;) Anyway...are you and your hubby primarily ok?? (very much hoping so) and you're just feeling lost/alone? Or are there marital issues as well?(which I'm not asking you to delve into here) All the very best...(F) M.


ManU2.jpg

10 year green card received

mid March, 2008. Done 'til Naturalization! WOOT! :)

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Hi Lucy...

How about volunteer work? Contact your local Red Cross or ask around so see whether there is an organization in your community that coordinates volunteers of events or organizations. Memorial Day is coming up... is there a parade committee or something??? How about the local animal shelter? Doesn't have to be something you'll do 'forever', but just to get yourself out into the community to meet people.

I joined a new church a year ago where I knew no one personally, other than an ex-bf who introduced me to his faith community. We broke up 3 months after I started going with him but I liked it so much, I felt called to remain. But the only way to feel a part of things was to actively seek out opportunities to meet people. I volunteered to help with Christmas decorations, I attended their Wed evening Scripture study, and I asked about a women's retreat... there was no retreat planned but a month later, someone from their staff phoned and asked whether I would be interested in organizing one, which I was... and I did... met some wonderful women there and have since become involved in elder care and organizing their volunteer staff...

You have to make the first move and other opportunities will follow. It's all about networking.

And you can always talk to us, here!

Good luck, Jen


8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

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Forgot to add...I SO hope you feel better soon...I've experienced Craig feeling it, but I'm absolutely certain that doesn't even compare minutely to the person going through it. I hope you feel better soon, and we're all here rooting for you...anytime you need to talk PM I would be GLAD to try to cheer you up a bit, or just alleviate some boredom. What state do you live in? :) M.


ManU2.jpg

10 year green card received

mid March, 2008. Done 'til Naturalization! WOOT! :)

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Lucy,

How about your husband's friends? Has he introduced them to you? My network of friends here started with his friends, who then introduced me to their friends. Granted, I still don't have a lot of friends here ... but the number is enough for me to know I matter. And come to think of it, I didn't have that many friends in Singapore too.

And as someone else suggested, visit a church or a voluntary organization maybe? And when I get my driver's license, I want to volunteer at a pet shelter. If you like animals, maybe this is a possible avenue for you too?

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I have been here just shy of a year, and I don't have any friends who aren't my husbands. I have made many acquaintances, but nobody I can call up and say "Hey, let's go out for a drink tonight". I was able to get a job pretty quickly, so that helped with routine and structure, but it was and still is hard sometimes. I can't help but remember who I was in the UK, and I've lost a lot of that now. I understand also about landing on US soil and losing your identity.

Hugs. (F)


Make sure you're wearing clean knickers. You never know when you'll be run over by a bus.

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I agree that joining a volunteer organization, or take up a hobby with or without your SO (like bowling in a league). And the idea of finding other VJ members near you seems like a good one too, no matter where they are from. I know I am hoping once I am through the process that I will try to find others to see from VJ in Virginia or surrounding states.

I am so sorry that you are feeling down, I am sorry for all of you who I can only imagine must feel very displaced. Keep your chin up, and try some of the great suggestions that the posters have made and I hope it works out great.


K-1 journey, AOS/EAD and ROC in my timeline

2011 March 31 - Sent off Naturalization pkg overnight to Texas

2011 April 1 - Arrived in Texas at 10:21 am

2011 April 1 - NOA (rec'd via snail mail April 8)

2011 April 7 - Cheque cashed

2011 May 5 - Biometrics (letter rec'd via snail mail April 15)

2011 May 9 - Placed in line for interview scheduling

2011 June 13 - Rec'd yellow letter (no change in status online)

2011 June 23 - Rec'd text that my case has been scheduled for interview

2011 August 1 - Interview (rec'd via snail mail June 27) PASSED

2011 August 3 - Rec'd email that my case has been scheduled for Oath

2011 September 1 - Oath ceremony (rec'd snail mail Aug 5)

2011 September 1 - All done, yeah.

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I think making friends is the hardest thing to do for most people. Like the others said, get out there and look at voluntary work and vj people who live close by. I have been here since last November in texas and we live in the back butt of nowhere with in-laws so its difficult at times.

i've made some friends and one of them who is scarily like me in personality is a girl from VJ and next week we are meeting for the first time, but we have been talking for months and I feel I know her so well already. i'm so excited! :D

Always keep positive :thumbs:

:luv:


I-130 for both parents

March 28th 2013 - Priority date/ NOA 1
November 14th 2013 - Transferred to Nebraska Service Center

January 7th 2014 - Case changed online to approved for both

January 8th 2014 - case changed to shipped to NVC

January 9th 2014 - case changed to NOA 2 mailed

January 10th 2014 - Received the hardcopy of the NOA 2 stating that NVC would issue a case number in 30 days approx.

January 21st 2014 - Case Received at NVC

February 26th 2014 - Case numbers and IIN number received - Wrong embassy code assigned...now waiting for new case numbers.

March 3rd 2014 - Filled in DS-261 for both parents

March 5th 2014- AOS available, paid and submitted AOS packet.

March 6th 2014 - USPS shows packet was delivered at NVC

March 10th 2014 - AOS shows as paid in the CEAC portal/AOS logged into system as being received by NVC.

March 11th 2014 - New case number assigned for my Dad.

March 20th 2014 - Paid IV fee for my Mum.

March 25th 2014 - AOS accepted by NVC with no checklist.

March 26th 2014 - Filled in and submitted DS-260 for my Mum

March 31st 2014 - AOS found in my Mum's file for my Dad - accepted and placed into his file/IV fee available for my Dad and Paid.

April 1st - Mailed all civil documents to NVC for both parents.

April 3rd: IV fee shows as paid in portal/submitted DS-260 for my Dad.

April 22nd: checklist issued for civil documents - NVC error ...

April 23rd: sent another certified copy of my marriage certificate

April 24th: Case complete! :)

April 30th 2014 - Medical scheduled for parents at Knightsbridge in London

June 11th: Interview at London Embassy - Approved :)

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That is great Collie, have a good visit with the new VJ friend. I am hoping once I get down there I will hopefully meet others from VJ as well.


K-1 journey, AOS/EAD and ROC in my timeline

2011 March 31 - Sent off Naturalization pkg overnight to Texas

2011 April 1 - Arrived in Texas at 10:21 am

2011 April 1 - NOA (rec'd via snail mail April 8)

2011 April 7 - Cheque cashed

2011 May 5 - Biometrics (letter rec'd via snail mail April 15)

2011 May 9 - Placed in line for interview scheduling

2011 June 13 - Rec'd yellow letter (no change in status online)

2011 June 23 - Rec'd text that my case has been scheduled for interview

2011 August 1 - Interview (rec'd via snail mail June 27) PASSED

2011 August 3 - Rec'd email that my case has been scheduled for Oath

2011 September 1 - Oath ceremony (rec'd snail mail Aug 5)

2011 September 1 - All done, yeah.

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If you like the outdoors, you can join the Sierra Club; their local chapters run different kinds of outing groups: that's how I found people to go cross country skiing with. And we made a couple of good friends.


09-02-2005 Applications for AOS, EAD, and AP received by MSC

10-21-2005 AOS fingerprint notice for 12-08-2005

11-07-2005 AP approved

12-05-2005 Infopass appt at San Jose office for interim EAD -- Refused, because it is already approved by MSC on 11-07-2005

12-07-2005 Attempt at interim EAD at San Francisco office -- no go. Back to San Jose, where CSO (chief station officer) tells they will contact MSC via email to request permission to issue interim EAD

12-08-2005 Biometrics for AOS and EAD. Having no EAD appt letter was no problem (used EAD NOA)

12-15-2005 EAD arrived in the mail

12-24-2005 Received interview letter; interview scheduled 03-01-2006

01-28-2006 Received replacement SSN card in married name (5 wks since application)

03-01-2006 AOS interview -- approved; received stamp in the passport

03-13-2006 Green card arrived in the mail

---

Filing for removal of conditions

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There is no need to lose one's identity just because you are in the US. Others here are right though. No one is going to knock on your door and ask to be your friend. They have made some great suggestions and I will adda couple. Spring is here so join up for some group golf lessons that teach women. You will learn with them, play with them and become friends.

Consider other sports also like bowling but i think Golf is great for women. It turns into a social event for them every thime they are on the course.


filed 129 with vermont 4/19/06

first notice 5/3/06?

IMRA RFE 6/19/06

snail mail RFE 6/22/06

returned 6/22/06

email they recieved 6/26/06

second RFE email 7/11/06

recieved 7/22

returned 7/24

touched 7/25

APProved 10/02/06

NVC sent to Moscow 10/17/06

package from Embassy 11/17/06

interview 01/11/07

approved visa 01/11/07

arrived 02/7/07

married 04/13/07

filed AOS 05/13/07

biometrics 06/06/07

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I haven't made a whole lot of friends since I moved here either, which was nearly 2 years ago now. But I do have 2 friends! :) One of which was right here at VJ, and she and her husband live about 1 hour from us, and another I found on a local Yahoo group. She lives about half an hour from me. I have met other people and see them every so often, but wouldn't necessarily call them "friends". Yet. ;) None actually right here in the town where I live tho, most of the locals scare me!

Shortly after I arrived I went searching thru Yahoo for groups to join that would share some personal interests. This usually helps to break the ice when you have an interest in common to talk about. There are groups or message boards for just about everything, just pick a hobby or interest of yours and go look to see if theres a local group.

I totally understand what its like to lose yourself once you get here, for a long time I didn't recognise myself from who I used to be. And once we get to adult-hood, its more and more difficult to make new friends. Especially if you don't have a job or anything where you can meet people. You can find just about anything on the internet tho! :)


divorced - April 2010 moved back to Ontario May 2010 and surrendered green card

PLEASE DO NOT PRIVATE MESSAGE ME OR EMAIL ME. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT CURRENT US IMMIGRATION PROCEDURES!!!!!

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Finding friends through hobbies, church, community organizations are all really good ideas. My husband came here last June and in the time he was waiting for his SS card so he could go to work, he searched out clubs and places to play this card game he plays. By August he had a few friends and now he has a group of about 10 buddies he plays cards with twice a week. They rotate going to each other's houses and they play at clubs. Through this, he's found he shares other interests with some of them, like interests in the same bands, etc. They've gone to gigs I wasn't interested in, we've been around to these friend's houses for parties, been out to dinner and movies with these guys and their SOs, and one is getting married this weekend and we are going to the wedding. So it CAN be done.

We also belong to an ExPat group through meetup.com and we meet occasionally to go out to pubs/for meals/to watch soccer. Check out meetup.com for people in your area interested in the same things you are.

Good luck! :thumbs::yes:


Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

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