Does the whole world need to Know????

[*JG* 2]

In mid-2006, a senior manager who was superficially familiar with INS procedures made the off-hand remark to me that I would not quit no matter what working conditions were like because it might impact my Affidavit of Support. I told him as long as I had another job and had sufficient income, it wouldn't be an issue.

At the time, I thought the issue was at rest. In December 2006, I learned I would get a $2,000 cut to my annual salary. In January 2007, I left.

Sometimes, when people know things, they abuse it.

I'm sorry, Troll. Not fair at all.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

In mid-2006, a senior manager who was superficially familiar with INS procedures made the off-hand remark to me that I would not quit no matter what working conditions were like because it might impact my Affidavit of Support. I told him as long as I had another job and had sufficient income, it wouldn't be an issue.

At the time, I thought the issue was at rest. In December 2006, I learned I would get a $2,000 cut to my annual salary. In January 2007, I left.

Sometimes, when people know things, they abuse it.

I'm sorry, Troll. Not fair at all.

I came back to the same employer in November with a very nice hike in base salary and other bennies.

[AlHayatZween 2]

i understand what HoneyChild is saying... it's not embarrassment about what you are doing... it's just sometimes people don't have the best intentions and they pass judgment in tacit and UNtacit ways. where i'm working now, no one is from the US, and they've all gone through immigration one way or another. so they get it. but before i started working here, and even when talking to family and friends, it has been a long road of backhanded comments and unsolicited advice.

it's a year this month since i filed for habibi's petition, and STILL people say to me "So..... you're really doing this, huh?"

i can't wait for the day when i go off the deep end.

[jundp 191]

I was going to say the same thing Sinergy. I shout it from the rooftops if anyone asks. I just educated a friend of mine today on why we have to file for lifting of conditions. She is just another person who thought once your SO is here, it's all over and done with. I use every opportunity to educate.

I don't see what is embarrassing or the need to be kept secretive. It's a part of my life, just like anything else.

It amazes me too when people assume "Oh Patrick will be a citizen once you get married." But then again, until I started this process I didn't know too much about it either. At my job, however there is an Australian who came here on a teacher exchange and ended up getting married and staying, and another teacher just married an Australian and is also going through the process. We sometimes annoy people when we talk about AOS, and EAD, and AP and....

I am lucky that my colleagues are all very supportive and enthusiastic (with the exception of very few people) but my colleagues are sort of an extension of family, which makes a big difference.

The only thing I hate about people knowing about my immigration needs is the fact they always try to talk down about my wife with things like " are you sure she doesnt just want a green card, you have to watch those woman you meet on the internet, why didnt you just marry an american woman" etc. I had no problem asking my HR director for employment letters and so on because since she is also a notary she helped me get my documents together so that I could be married in Brazil in the first place, but i do hate the people that have nothing better to do other than gossip and talk bad about the way others choose to live their life. I am well aware that so many people in my job call me loser, say I bought my wife off of a mail order bride website and other just plain rude and stupid things. Some people are just so sad they have nothing better to do.

My gosh, do people really say things like that to you!? I'm sorry

[sara..... 371]

I was going to say the same thing Sinergy. I shout it from the rooftops if anyone asks. I just educated a friend of mine today on why we have to file for lifting of conditions. She is just another person who thought once your SO is here, it's all over and done with. I use every opportunity to educate.

I don't see what is embarrassing or the need to be kept secretive. It's a part of my life, just like anything else.

It amazes me too when people assume "Oh Patrick will be a citizen once you get married." But then again, until I started this process I didn't know too much about it either. At my job, however there is an Australian who came here on a teacher exchange and ended up getting married and staying, and another teacher just married an Australian and is also going through the process. We sometimes annoy people when we talk about AOS, and EAD, and AP and....

I am lucky that my colleagues are all very supportive and enthusiastic (with the exception of very few people) but my colleagues are sort of an extension of family, which makes a big difference.

The only thing I hate about people knowing about my immigration needs is the fact they always try to talk down about my wife with things like " are you sure she doesnt just want a green card, you have to watch those woman you meet on the internet, why didnt you just marry an american woman" etc. I had no problem asking my HR director for employment letters and so on because since she is also a notary she helped me get my documents together so that I could be married in Brazil in the first place, but i do hate the people that have nothing better to do other than gossip and talk bad about the way others choose to live their life. I am well aware that so many people in my job call me loser, say I bought my wife off of a mail order bride website and other just plain rude and stupid things. Some people are just so sad they have nothing better to do.

My gosh, do people really say things like that to you!? I'm sorry

I was going to say the same thing Sinergy. I shout it from the rooftops if anyone asks. I just educated a friend of mine today on why we have to file for lifting of conditions. She is just another person who thought once your SO is here, it's all over and done with. I use every opportunity to educate.

I don't see what is embarrassing or the need to be kept secretive. It's a part of my life, just like anything else.

It amazes me too when people assume "Oh Patrick will be a citizen once you get married." But then again, until I started this process I didn't know too much about it either. At my job, however there is an Australian who came here on a teacher exchange and ended up getting married and staying, and another teacher just married an Australian and is also going through the process. We sometimes annoy people when we talk about AOS, and EAD, and AP and....

I am lucky that my colleagues are all very supportive and enthusiastic (with the exception of very few people) but my colleagues are sort of an extension of family, which makes a big difference.

The only thing I hate about people knowing about my immigration needs is the fact they always try to talk down about my wife with things like " are you sure she doesnt just want a green card, you have to watch those woman you meet on the internet, why didnt you just marry an american woman" etc. I had no problem asking my HR director for employment letters and so on because since she is also a notary she helped me get my documents together so that I could be married in Brazil in the first place, but i do hate the people that have nothing better to do other than gossip and talk bad about the way others choose to live their life. I am well aware that so many people in my job call me loser, say I bought my wife off of a mail order bride website and other just plain rude and stupid things. Some people are just so sad they have nothing better to do.

My gosh, do people really say things like that to you!? I'm sorry

the most insensitive statement made to me was ..........oh really why do u think a doctor wants a little girl like u if its not for green card...................

[AlHayatZween 2]

My gosh, do people really say things like that to you!? I'm sorry

two weeks ago i saw a high school acquaintance who i haven't seen in years...

he had heard the news somewhere in the grapevine, and he said:

"You're a pretty, girl... I mean... I don't understand why you have to import a husband."

Edited June 6, 2008 by AlHayatZween

[JaHoney 3]

Okay im going to jump back in here as i have a few minutes to speak my mind. Unruly girl, i here you we are on the same page. What i indicated in my post is that i love my SO and have no problem getting someone told if need be, never said i was embarassed either, as someone may or may not have implied. BUT, one thing i do is to keep my professional life and personal life seperate. I dont feel my coworkers need to know every freaking thing about me. I continue to be asked questions daily about " that jamaican you met on vacation", which really is starting to wear on my nerves. I make it a point, not to discuss, politics, religion or other things in the workplace. I feel it is nobody's business, what is going on with me, unless i make you a specific party to that information. Though i am an american, people tend to think that foreigners just want to come to the USA for a green card, even my own freaking mother holds that mentality. Justifying my feelings and my reasonings to people are getting old and so until i understand the process of the Visa journey, this information will be on a need to know basis. Now with that being said, i dont mean to come across as testy, or anything of that nature, but i feel there should be a seperation between your private life and work.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

This thread taught me a lot about ROC. I had no idea you all had to sumbit statements from other people saying your relationship was legit.

[Sister Fracas 5]

i feel there should be a seperation between your private life and work.

I can understand that. I guess it just depends on the work environment too, how relaxed it is, etc.

[000 0]

Oh yeah people have said some pretty awful things to me. Saying I bought my wife is a very common one, one of the other managers in my work one day was unaware that i was walking down the hall past his office and was talking to one of his employees about me ( I do the payroll here and he submitted wrong information to me and i called him out on it) and had said that I had went to south america to marry a taco bell B1**h because i couldnt find anyone here. It is crazy the things people say. After telling my ex gf's that would call at random the comments I would get from them were always negative. I have gotten use to it.

[Jenn! 918]

Oh yeah people have said some pretty awful things to me. Saying I bought my wife is a very common one, one of the other managers in my work one day was unaware that i was walking down the hall past his office and was talking to one of his employees about me ( I do the payroll here and he submitted wrong information to me and i called him out on it) and had said that I had went to south america to marry a taco bell B1**h because i couldnt find anyone here. It is crazy the things people say. After telling my ex gf's that would call at random the comments I would get from them were always negative. I have gotten use to it.

What a douchebag!

[almaty 19]

Oh yeah people have said some pretty awful things to me. Saying I bought my wife is a very common one, one of the other managers in my work one day was unaware that i was walking down the hall past his office and was talking to one of his employees about me ( I do the payroll here and he submitted wrong information to me and i called him out on it) and had said that I had went to south america to marry a taco bell B1**h because i couldnt find anyone here. It is crazy the things people say. After telling my ex gf's that would call at random the comments I would get from them were always negative. I have gotten use to it.

those f##king chopf##ks...

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Oh yeah people have said some pretty awful things to me. Saying I bought my wife is a very common one, one of the other managers in my work one day was unaware that i was walking down the hall past his office and was talking to one of his employees about me ( I do the payroll here and he submitted wrong information to me and i called him out on it) and had said that I had went to south america to marry a taco bell B1**h because i couldnt find anyone here. It is crazy the things people say. After telling my ex gf's that would call at random the comments I would get from them were always negative. I have gotten use to it.

What a douchebag!

A stupid douchebag. What does Taco Bell have to do with South America?

[000 0]

Oh yeah people have said some pretty awful things to me. Saying I bought my wife is a very common one, one of the other managers in my work one day was unaware that i was walking down the hall past his office and was talking to one of his employees about me ( I do the payroll here and he submitted wrong information to me and i called him out on it) and had said that I had went to south america to marry a taco bell B1**h because i couldnt find anyone here. It is crazy the things people say. After telling my ex gf's that would call at random the comments I would get from them were always negative. I have gotten use to it.

What a douchebag!

A stupid douchebag. What does Taco Bell have to do with South America?

Yeah its staggering how ignorant people can be, my wife is from Brazil....she doesn't even know what a taco is.

[Kang Lang 7]

Yeah its staggering how ignorant people can be, my wife is from Brazil....she doesn't even know what a taco is.

not surprising to me but very sad...

this wench i work with calls my husband "mail order groom" and asked him to his face if he could bring the catalog so she could get one. told me i was too serious when i told her i was offended.