Feeling a bit discouraged this morning

[Munesh and Suz 0]

Good Afternoon -

I just saw a few profiles that got approved. In fact, one of the couples started the whole process same time as us and they were approved with their visa the same day they went in for the interview which, I might add, was about 1 month before ours was scheduled.

Please don't anyone get me wrong - I am so happy for all those that go approved - I can't imagine how happy all of you must be. One day, hopefully soon, we will be in the same situation.

I wish someone can explain to me what the process that the embassy people use - what rhyme or reason do they go through to approve or dis-approve an application? How come in one country they can get their visa's approved in a snap and others we have to wait through the aggravation? It's like they want blood from us.....

I'm not upset; I'm not mad or angry - I'm just tired. I just don't understand why they would put us through this and we know that we have a true love and valid realationship. And why would they ask some people certain questions but not others?? I just don't get it. I'm just tired. I want to be with my baby. That's all I want - That's all he wants. Does this process really honestly need to be so complicated and heartbreaking?

I wish someone can explain the reasoning behind the inconsistantcies.....from interview to interview from country to country from CO to CO.

Thanks for reading ..............

suz

[sara..... 371]

Good Afternoon -

I just saw a few profiles that got approved. In fact, one of the couples started the whole process same time as us and they were approved with their visa the same day they went in for the interview which, I might add, was about 1 month before ours was scheduled.

Please don't anyone get me wrong - I am so happy for all those that go approved - I can't imagine how happy all of you must be. One day, hopefully soon, we will be in the same situation.

I wish someone can explain to me what the process that the embassy people use - what rhyme or reason do they go through to approve or dis-approve an application? How come in one country they can get their visa's approved in a snap and others we have to wait through the aggravation? It's like they want blood from us.....

I'm not upset; I'm not mad or angry - I'm just tired. I just don't understand why they would put us through this and we know that we have a true love and valid realationship. And why would they ask some people certain questions but not others?? I just don't get it. I'm just tired. I want to be with my baby. That's all I want - That's all he wants. Does this process really honestly need to be so complicated and heartbreaking?

I wish someone can explain the reasoning behind the inconsistantcies.....from interview to interview from country to country from CO to CO.

Thanks for reading ..............

suz

im sorry ur feeling so down.......i know this process can really get to u and a lot of things make no sense at all....but try to stay positive........my prayers are with u guys ..............

[pushbrk 12,086]

Most of the time variations from one country to the next, can be attributed to two factors.

1. Available Consular staff to visa applicant ratio

2. Level of visa fraud experience from the Country impacts security checks

On the USCIS Service center side, there is really no rhyme or reason to point to in this regard except to say that the adjudication process has multiple steps. Delays can occur during any or all steps, on a case by case basis.

I don't know if it needs to be this complicated. I just deal with what is...because there's really no other realistic choice.

[psiprez 3]

It is overwhelmingly discouraging, isn't it?

Our wait hasn't been nearly as long as yours, but the pain is the same. There are some people getting their visas now who sent in their petitions after us, and I cry each time I realize (like right now) that they will be here with their SO's long before we even get our interview scheduled.

I have come to realize that there is no reason to feel guilty about 'not feeling the appropriate happiness' for those who have gotten approved. In reality, it's not that we aren't happy for THEM, it's that we are overpoweringly sad for OURSELVES. And that is a completely valid way to feel.

And of course there is no way anyone not going through it can comfort you. They have no understanding. Having gone through this myself, I can tell you it is very similar to what a couple going through fertility problems experiences. It is agonizing to want a baby so so badly, and be forced to watch for months, or years, as everyone around you has an easy time of it. And of course, you are supposed to be happy for each new baby born, but all you can feel is sadness and mourning for your own situation. Share those feelings with anyone, and you are ostracized as "jealous", a "baby-hater" or even worse. So you are forced to hide and suppress those feelings, and feel even worse for it. It's awful.

I just try, like some people, to feel hope each time someone else is approved. To think that it means one less petition on line ahead of us. Or that it is a sign that things at the service center are moving along. It's hard, I know... but try.

At least we know that with the visa, our time WILL come. Eventually.

Edited April 19, 2008 by psiprez

[raymaga 25]

I can understand your frustrations.

I am from Canada, one of the lowest risk countries for visa fraud, and yet most of my own and my daughter's applications have taken longer than most others here on VJ. We had NO unusual circumstances or any other issues that should have caused delays, but we always had to sit back and watch others get their approvals way sooner than we have.

There definitely is NO rhyme or reason to USCIS.... I have had to come to accept that.

Good luck for some news soon.

Edited April 19, 2008 by raymaga

[BigCityDave 0]

I am sorry to hear about your discouragement.

All we can do is hang in there. Don't give up!

[MAO36 30]

I am sorry to hear about your discouragement.

All we can do is hang in there. Don't give up!

You're certianly not alone with felling discouraged! Although I filed a diffeent visa I have been waiting since the beginning of September. First i waited almost 5mths for my NOA1 due to the backlog and the re-routing of the petitions to the Chicago lockbox. Now, as I watch those from October, December, January and I think even a February filer bypass me I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. Ofcourse i cant do that because I am in this for the long haul but you often fel like there is no light at the end of this dark tunnel. Ive called, I've written, RFE trick, finally got a couple of touches recently and then bam! back to no touches at all. Finally called my local Congresswoman who actually took a good interest and will file a Congressional inquiry next week. Why oh why are things not done in filing order. I DON"T BUY that ####### about working on easier cases. What deems a case easy or hard, that is a bunch of bull!!!!! If your not confident enought to work on all cases then you don't need to be in that position. This whole process sucks and also paralyzes you from functioning normally while you're glued to the website waiting for a change in status, playing stupid tricks to get an answer, listening to reheared answers from Customer Service, the list goes on and on. I honestly thing they get a petition which then generates a touch, flip through it see if it's simple and if so adjudicate it quickly. If not, they put it back on the shelf for someone to work on. As we read before they have to hit their numbers. It is sooooo unfair that they can CHERRY-PICK through the petitons. Then after all this wait, your finally approved only o be denied at the interview. My Goodness!

[angelangels 0]

Try not to stress, I was a nervous wreck through my whole process, from K1 - to AOS...........one thing to keep your thoughts from turning negative is to know that the interviews are not as bad as they seem.......and the officers are real people, you will be fine. I had extremely lengthy waits through out my process from beginning, every case is unique, keep your faith strong and as long as you are well prepared things will go well.

Wishing you a speedy process!!

[Munesh and Suz 0]

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement - I need it. I'm still here - waiting. And I'm glad I can vent to you all cuz no one else understands.