Non-Muslims married to Muslim MENA

[polarbear 0]

Meat - Pork and Halal:

My husband has no problem with me eating pork. He and I often have breakfast where I would order bacon. However, I doubt he has ever seen a medium rare steak and will probably freak if he sees I like my beef pink.

Why would he freak if you like your beef pink?

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

[Ban Hammer 12,829]

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

wow i just found out i'm muslim too!

[sarahaziz 0]

You just have to respect each other to avoid conflict. If your spouse wants something one way then do it for them out of love! Don't expect everybody to be and like everything you like. Pretty much everyone here is in a culture different relationship. I think it'd be kind of fun to be different cultures. You get to learn about each other and do things differently sometimes vs being same culture.

I don't think if a husband isn't insistent on the kids being muslim indicates a quick red flag. He might not know his own religion since he hasn't been exposed to anything else except Islam. Religion might not even be important to him. It would bring 2nd thoughts about a spouse I agree but I don't think it's anything to worry about without asking him directly what he felt. He probably wasn't even listening to the conversation for all you know. MEN!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

i know im gonna get kicked in the butt for saying it, but yes, **** in my opinion**** any muslim man who partakes in islam would without a doubt want their children to be muslim......and moreover, lets say he wasnt all that religious,im sure his family would disown him if he told them his children would not be muslim...my husband isnt a sheik, he practices, but is also a sinner just as everyone else... but, if he was not insistent on our future children being raised in islam, i would be seriously concerned with what his intentions were for our future and the future of our children....

just my opinion....i lived in the ME for a year, and ive seen and heard it all....if anyone else's spouse seriously doesnt care about them following their religion, more power to ya....

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

wow i just found out i'm muslim too!

i think its been showing thru for as long as i have know you, now the wondering is over

[morocco4ever 63]

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

wow i just found out i'm muslim too!

i think its been showing thru for as long as i have know you, now the wondering is over

Now all he has to work on is discovering he is really a woman.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

after looking over many things and asking many questions i can find only one solid answer regarding children among a muslim man and non muslim women....

"If a muslim marries a women from "People of the books" the children, by "shar'iah (islamic law) are considered to be muslim. For instance, often in "dar al-harb" the kids adopt the religion of their mother; and sometimes, a marriage is arranged upon agreements between couples that half the kids will adopt mothers and the other half will adopt the fathers religion. If a muslim man agrees to ANY of such terms accepting the kids to be raised non muslims, the person will be regarded as "Murtid" (the one who denied islam) because he has allowed his kids to become "kaafir" who may have been brought up in Islamic religion. Anyone who willingly and knowingly allows/agrees for his kids to be kaafir is regarded as kaafir. He is out of the Islamic circle.

**taken from Nikah.com....i could not copy and paste so had to retype....apologies in advance for the typos...

[Ban Hammer 12,829]

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

wow i just found out i'm muslim too!

i think its been showing thru for as long as i have know you, now the wondering is over

Now all he has to work on is discovering he is really a woman.

i think nessa would be so disappointed.

[sarahaziz 0]

i know im gonna get kicked in the butt for saying it, but yes, **** in my opinion**** any muslim man who partakes in islam would without a doubt want their children to be muslim......and moreover, lets say he wasnt all that religious,im sure his family would disown him if he told them his children would not be muslim...my husband isnt a sheik, he practices, but is also a sinner just as everyone else... but, if he was not insistent on our future children being raised in islam, i would be seriously concerned with what his intentions were for our future and the future of our children....

just my opinion....i lived in the ME for a year, and ive seen and heard it all....if anyone else's spouse seriously doesnt care about them following their religion, more power to ya....

There's many views and takes on this I think. Some cases people marrying "western" spouses also get disowned by their family for loving out of their culture/race with Non-muslims non arabs. Men there usually are religious and will order their kids be muslim because they are usually dealing with muslim Arab women there. I really don't believe that statement that's being debated on. If you really had to worry about your islamic spouse not caring what religion kids you had then you'd have to worry why he married a westerner in the first place. You know what I mean. He might just be going with the flow or avoiding argument. So many views i don't think there could be an official statement about that. I feel strongly about it bec alot of American women post on here about being scared from their spouses (being used for GC) and talking about red flags. I don't think that's one of them.

Being that insistent or thinking to leave you if your kids wouldn't follow islam kind of gives the Man a right of way to "control you" and you are not independent in your views. Women have to be strong and independent. If you are strong as a person in your beliefs and values a man will value you so much rather than you following him in everything. After all marriage is a compromise, a 50/ 50

Edited April 16, 2008 by sarahaziz

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Also, the Quran does expressly forbid Muslims to marry unchaste non-Muslims unless they are fornicators, so, drawing on this premise, a lot of marriages between Muslim men and non-Muslim women must be due to fornication.

Would you mind providing the ayat?

Gladly. Chastity is a big deal in Islam, as it is in Christianity and Judaism. Therefore, unchaste Muslims are not allowed to marry among chaste Muslims. This ayah directs fornicating Muslims to marry other fornicating Muslims, or unbelivers because Muslims are not to have relations outside of marriage:

Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden. Q24.3

This ayah grants the permission to marry among the ahl al kitab, but with limitations. We are not to marry the unchaste unbeliever (exception above) or those who have no faith:

This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good). Q 5.5

Also see, Q 2:222 and 60:10-11 for directives regarding the forbidance against marriage with polytheists and those who are hostile to Islam. A practicing Muslim would not marry among those who are disallowed by sharia.

Oh I don't doubt that it's not permissible in the eyes of many scholars. As a non-Muslim woman though, I don't really find it relevant. In your counseling I imagine you discuss more often actual obstacles and issues in the marriage that are created by the interfaith aspect of it rather than assessing whether the marriage is permissible in the first place, right? Do you know of anyone who has gotten a divorce because they've changed their mind about whether their marriage is really allowed?

Yes, I know several practicing Muslims who have divorced their spouse in the west after the reality of being married to a non-Muslim who engages in Islamically haram behavior strikes them as too much of a burden to bear. It's sad because you can't tell them anything until they experience the problems themselves, and it's even more tragic when conflicts over childrearing is the catalyst for the division.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Meat - Pork and Halal:

My husband has no problem with me eating pork. He and I often have breakfast where I would order bacon. However, I doubt he has ever seen a medium rare steak and will probably freak if he sees I like my beef pink.

Why would he freak if you like your beef pink?

Apparently, it's haram to eat blood and if it's not well done, well, you are eating blood. I got that one the first week when my husband looked at a steak I had cooked, put down knife and fork and told me I hadn't finished cooking it. then proceeded to explain it to me, and ate only the veggies that night like a friggin maytr

was the steak from an animal slaughtered by prescribed islamic method? regardless, meat from animals slaughtered in any us slaughterhouse is just as exsanguinated as zhabiha. it's not blood, it's myoglobin. it's different from blood-borne hemoglobin. myoglobin is what makes meat red. it's present in meat regardless of how long it's cooked, but it just changes color based on the number of electrons it has, which is affected by cooking. but blood's nothing to do with it.

[Jenn! 918]

Oh I don't doubt that it's not permissible in the eyes of many scholars. As a non-Muslim woman though, I don't really find it relevant. In your counseling I imagine you discuss more often actual obstacles and issues in the marriage that are created by the interfaith aspect of it rather than assessing whether the marriage is permissible in the first place, right? Do you know of anyone who has gotten a divorce because they've changed their mind about whether their marriage is really allowed?

Yes, I know several practicing Muslims who have divorced their spouse in the west after the reality of being married to a non-Muslim who engages in Islamically haram behavior strikes them as too much of a burden to bear. It's sad because you can't tell them anything until they experience the problems themselves, and it's even more tragic when conflicts over childrearing is the catalyst for the division.

I guess I didn't word my question properly. I realize that interfaith marriages can fail due to specific behaviors and issues of incompatibility that result from the different belief systems. What I was getting at more is whether you've dealt with a marriage that has ended *solely* because the Muslim man discovered that marrying a non-Muslim woman and living in a non-Muslim country was haraam.

Edited April 17, 2008 by Jenn!

[Nasturtium 500]

BTW, I had always heard that 12/25 was not Jesus' real birthday. That got me thinking, why do we celebrate that day? After searching the internet I ran across this article. I am not sure if it is true, but it certainly makes sense.

http://www.essortment.com/all/christmaspagan_rece.htm

Yep. Yeshua was born during Sukkot according to the evidence of the events in the New Testament

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I guess I didn't word my question properly. I realize that interfaith marriages can fail due to specific behaviors and issues of incompatibility that result from the different belief systems. What I was getting at more is whether you've dealt with a marriage that has ended *solely* because the Muslim man discovered that marrying a non-Muslim woman and living in a non-Muslim country was haraam.

More specifically, it's not haram - only Allah determines what is haram - it is makruh - highly undesirable.

This has been interesting lol. My views have become viral. I'm seeing whole paragraphs (w/typos) that I've posted on websites being posted back to me word for word (with typos) in dozens of web articles on this subject that I've never seen before as I google the issue for this thread. I'm not getting any credit for them, tho!

My answer is still yes, because, thru experience, they discover WHY it's considered to be makruh, and incompatibility is a large part of that. Due to the difficulty of living a pious life under the dominance of American secularism that so much of religious life operates under no matter what faith you adhere to. Practicing Muslims are a minority here and too many Americans are Christians in name only. The reality is that the Muslim partner has less religious support in the west than the secular or kitabi partner, and that can and does sway hearts and minds.