no answers to my posts

[Niels Bohr 72]

It's not about netiquette, it's just plain old etiquette. Since when is it ok to demand help and get upset when someone doesn't offer you their free advice?

Like I said, I don't have the patience for it, but good thing some others do.

Reminds me customer service. They try to help you. But, the customers never coorporate. They think the CSR has some magical power that will solve their problem.

[simple_male 1]

For some reason nobody is answering my posts. I have tried to seek the information before posting, but couldn't find it. I thought this was supposed to be a helpful place. Guess I will just have to keep digging and stop posting.

I never saw any questions from you. You should also post questions on appropriate forums.

[SaadBell 0]

Like I said, I don't have the patience for it, but good thing some others do.

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown

Why so negative with her, just let it go, or don't reply. Everyone deserves a little compassion and a little kindness.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King Jr.

[Jenn! 918]

Like I said, I don't have the patience for it, but good thing some others do.

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown

Why so negative with her, just let it go, or don't reply. Everyone deserves a little compassion and a little kindness.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King Jr.

So these rules apply only to me and not to her?

Sorry, I'm not a pushover. I expect people here to be respectful of other VJ posters and their helpful advice (they deserve it) and I will call someone out when that does not happen.

Edited March 13, 2008 by Jenn!

[sara..... 371]

Like I said, I don't have the patience for it, but good thing some others do.

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown

Why so negative with her, just let it go, or don't reply. Everyone deserves a little compassion and a little kindness.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King Jr.

i think maybe the days that she posted there was a lot of action on the board so her questions and answered got buried fast in 2 or 3 pages back i know when i first came here i was confused as to how to find things so maybe that is what happened she just didnt realize that she had to go back thru the pages to find out if someone answered her?

[DARUMA07 25]

The OP has to realize not everyone has an answer to a Question. I won't reply if I feel that I can't give a correct answer to a Post......

[SaadBell 0]

Sorry, I'm not a pushover. I expect people here to be respectful of other VJ posters and their helpful advice (they deserve it) and I will call someone out when that does not happen.

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out to someone their mistakes, things they could or should have done differently, ways they can improve. You have chances to “correct” people privately as well as in front of others. With all these opportunities amount to our chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting to psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we’re right and they’re wrong is that our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better.

In actuality, however, if you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you’ll notice that you feel worse than before the put-down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it’s impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else.

Luckily, the opposite is true, when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better, to share in their joy, you reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct someone, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead, ask yourself, “What do I really want out of this interaction?” Chances are, what you want is a peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good.

Don’t confuse this strategy with being a pushover or not standing up for what you believe in. I’m not suggesting that I’s not important okay for you to be right, only that if you insist on being right, there is often a price to pay, your inner peace. In order to be a person filled with equanimity, you must choose kindness over being right, most of the time. The best place to start is with the next person you speak to.

[Jenn! 918]

You know, not everyone is the same. If the above works for you, then great, but aren't *you* putting *me* down for telling me that my entire philosophy on interacting with others is incorrect?

Also, I don't feel I've put anyone down. When someone is rude to my friends, I will tell them. Simple as that. You may choose not to if it brings you inner peace. It brings me inner peace to stand up for things I know are right.

[tammy2688 1]

Hello,

Please post again on the MENA forum for answers, everyone here is going through a lot of stress just like you, and from what I have seen, EVERYONE welcomes questions and tries to help here even though they may not know the right answers always because some questions apply to tm sensative matters which cannot be predicted. In those cases, I have seen everyone give sympathy and related stories at the least.

I am sorry it had to come to this, you feeling this way. Actually I looked up your posts on "find member's posts" and I see many replies, expecially about the entire MENA congratulating you on the post "VISA APPROVED!!!!!!!!! GREAT AGE DIFFERENCE"

Tammy

[SaadBell 0]

No put down, just saying, choose your battles wisely. I think it is great to stand up for what is right, but, was this battle that really was about being right? She didn't really put down anybody personally, she just made a comment that no one try to answer her question. I know I don't have that answer, and understand that sometimes people do not always reply right away. But to make this an issue, really, is it that important. How can we stop wars in this world when we can't even get along with each other on a public forum? In the end, what is important, how about children dying of hungry, dying of war, sickness and disease? Now that is something we all should stand up for, or racism, those are the big battles, the ones we should never stand down on, but others are simply "small stuff." I know now, why there will never be peace in this world, because we will always sweat the small stuff while ignoring the big stuff. If only we put this energy into changing the world, we would be sitting sweetly. I know, I am nowhere near perfect, and make all kinds of mistakes, so who am I to stand in judgment of another human being, who is in pain and already having a hard time. Why kick someone, when they are already down an out? Give a person a break; we all have bad days, why make it even worst with a smart comment? I am way older than you, so I think a lot of these come with age and raising children, you just mellow out a lot. I use to say a lot of things about how to raise children, how to conduct your life, and then I had children, and omg, I saw things in a different light. I am very sensitive person and I do get my feelings hurt easily when someone says something nasty or mean. Knowing this I always try to be very careful on what I say to anyone, because I know how it would feels to be hurt. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer so sometimes I don’t’ understand something and take things the wrong way. So when someone asks a question I try to help if I can, and if I can’t help than I just let them know I am here for support. I never wanted you to be hurt Jen; you are most likely a very highly intelligent person, who we can all learn a lot from. I sure know that I learn something, even if it is a little bit of enlightenment, by every person I have contact with. Just my two cents, and just what I feel is right in my heart. If I can make someone feel better after talking to me, than I have done good for the day.

[tammy2688 1]

Actually now that I look at your posts, you got several answers to all of them - again let me remind you time-sensative questions have no answers but there are many similar questions to your it may be they have been answered several hundred times here

again, i see many answers and replies to your posts

Tammy

[Jenn! 918]

No put down, just saying, choose your battles wisely. I think it is great to stand up for what is right, but, was this battle that really was about being right? She didn't really put down anybody personally, she just made a comment that no one try to answer her question. I know I don't have that answer, and understand that sometimes people do not always reply right away. But to make this an issue, really, is it that important. How can we stop wars in this world when we can't even get along with each other on a public forum? In the end, what is important, how about children dying of hungry, dying of war, sickness and disease? Now that is something we all should stand up for, or racism, those are the big battles, the ones we should never stand down on, but others are simply "small stuff." I know now, why there will never be peace in this world, because we will always sweat the small stuff while ignoring the big stuff. If only we put this energy into changing the world, we would be sitting sweetly. I know, I am nowhere near perfect, and make all kinds of mistakes, so who am I to stand in judgment of another human being, who is in pain and already having a hard time. Why kick someone, when they are already down an out? Give a person a break; we all have bad days, why make it even worst with a smart comment? I am way older than you, so I think a lot of these come with age and raising children, you just mellow out a lot. I use to say a lot of things about how to raise children, how to conduct your life, and then I had children, and omg, I saw things in a different light. I am very sensitive person and I do get my feelings hurt easily when someone says something nasty or mean. Knowing this I always try to be very careful on what I say to anyone, because I know how it would feels to be hurt. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer so sometimes I don’t’ understand something and take things the wrong way. So when someone asks a question I try to help if I can, and if I can’t help than I just let them know I am here for support. I never wanted you to be hurt Jen; you are most likely a very highly intelligent person, who we can all learn a lot from. I sure know that I learn something, even if it is a little bit of enlightenment, by every person I have contact with. Just my two cents, and just what I feel is right in my heart. If I can make someone feel better after talking to me, than I have done good for the day.

I think you've somehow concluded that this is a bigger deal to me than it is.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

alot of times there may not be a concrete answer, alot of times things just get lost, what works for one may not work for another alot of different things come into play, alot of times it may not be the answer you want to hear, most i think do the best they can

[Jenn! 918]

My original comments still stand. You will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. If you want people to be helpful, do not put them off by copping an attitude.

[yassmine2878 1]

For the OP: If you are again in a situation where you need answers to a pertinent question and cannot find them but running a search in the forum, reading the guides, or your post gets buried in high activity, bump your thread. Bumping it once or twice to keeps it on the first page and more visable so folks can review it. We cant help it when a thread gets buried due to high activity in the forum, and many of us only review the first 2-3 pages of the forum posts (if that much).