immigrant being abused by a permanent resident - any recourse?

[athena_ny 1]

My SIL is here on a student visa, and is marrying a permanent resident (next week, apparently, I found all this out today) who has threatened to break her legs, put her in the hospital, and is all around just..mentally/verbally abusive but she is convinced he's the best thing since sliced bread.

Now, of course I am hoping he never gets physical, but I need to know: does VAWA apply when the immigrant is married to a legal immigrant? Is there any recourse? I personally don't care if she stays in the US or not as she just totally screwed my husband over, but I'd like to be aware if #### hits the fan.

Thank you.

[Gringita/Morenito 0]

My SIL is here on a student visa, and is marrying a permanent resident (next week, apparently, I found all this out today) who has threatened to break her legs, put her in the hospital, and is all around just..mentally/verbally abusive but she is convinced he's the best thing since sliced bread.

Now, of course I am hoping he never gets physical, but I need to know: does VAWA apply when the immigrant is married to a legal immigrant? Is there any recourse? I personally don't care if she stays in the US or not as she just totally screwed my husband over, but I'd like to be aware if #### hits the fan.

Thank you.

I don't know the response to your question and I hope things work out okay for her but I have to tell you I felt like a dork because it took me a while to figure out that SIL was sister-in-law, I was thinking isn't Sil, Vi's husband????

[Krikit 1,163]

Athena, I have absolutely no idea how to respond to your question but I just had to say... I felt physically ill when I read your first paragraph. I pray to God that all works out well.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

My SIL is here on a student visa, and is marrying a permanent resident (next week, apparently, I found all this out today) who has threatened to break her legs, put her in the hospital, and is all around just..mentally/verbally abusive but she is convinced he's the best thing since sliced bread.

Now, of course I am hoping he never gets physical, but I need to know: does VAWA apply when the immigrant is married to a legal immigrant? Is there any recourse? I personally don't care if she stays in the US or not as she just totally screwed my husband over, but I'd like to be aware if #### hits the fan.

Thank you.

Yes, victims of either abusive US citizens or Legal Permanent Residents may self-petition (I-360) and secure residency without the assistance of their spouse, so long as they have a valid claim and can demonstrate their abuse.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

That's so funny Samantha, I'm glad SIL is taking a nap right now

[athena_ny 1]

My SIL is here on a student visa, and is marrying a permanent resident (next week, apparently, I found all this out today) who has threatened to break her legs, put her in the hospital, and is all around just..mentally/verbally abusive but she is convinced he's the best thing since sliced bread.

Now, of course I am hoping he never gets physical, but I need to know: does VAWA apply when the immigrant is married to a legal immigrant? Is there any recourse? I personally don't care if she stays in the US or not as she just totally screwed my husband over, but I'd like to be aware if #### hits the fan.

Thank you.

Yes, victims of either abusive US citizens or Legal Permanent Residents may self-petition (I-360) and secure residency without the assistance of their spouse, so long as they have a valid claim and can demonstrate their abuse.

Thanks. I'm just trying to prepare in case it is bad, but I am praying he turns into a nice guy after the ceremony.

Athena, I have absolutely no idea how to respond to your question but I just had to say... I felt physically ill when I read your first paragraph. I pray to God that all works out well.

Oh, me too. Thanks so much.

[Gringita/Morenito 0]

This may help....

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...00045f3d6a1RCRD

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

[KarenCee 3]

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Yup....I have to agree with this as I speak from personal experience.

[athena_ny 1]

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Oh, he doesn't even have to promise change. She thinks everything is a-ok. When we found out he had told her if he ever cheats on her he was going to break both her legs and put her in the hospital, she was mad at my husband for trying to talk some sense into her, and for tearing this guy a new one for the way he was treating her. The next week I heard her on the phone, laughing about what had happened. Her line of thinking is, "I'm not going to cheat on him, so it doesn't matter." I'm distraught over the idea of them getting married, but she's 21 and can make her own decisions.

I keep praying to God that I am wrong about this, and I'm just a high strung American woman, and he really is as great as she says, but I doubt it. Which would be why I'm here investigating, and I am also afraid he is using promises of getting her residency quickly to convince her they need to be married NOW. She loves him (or thinks she does, I don't know), so that's not her reason, but the fact he is telling her that she'll get her residency in a couple of months (he's not a USC, as stated) and that everything will be fine (she has an overstay, she'll be denied if he's still an LPR in 7 years of whenever her priority date comes up) makes me feel like something is going on that we are not aware of ...

and I figure someone in this family needs to be prepared.

PS Vi - we leave for Peru in 11 days

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

They can, but it takes a special person and true commitment.

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Yup....I have to agree with this as I speak from personal experience.

[Cassandra+Yuibi 0]

This kind of thing always dumbfounds me. My mother in law is married to a horrid man who abuses her (physically & verbally) on a regular basis. Not only that, but he abused her THREE CHILDREN and drove one of her children to the point of being in a mental institution (then forbade her from seeing that child). Yet she has been married to him for over ten years (he is not the father of her children/my husband) and stays married to him simply because she does not want to have to work to survive and enjoys the financial lifestyle he allows her to live.

I think sometimes people in abusive relationships will never wake up, regardless of the reason they stay in the relationship (love, money, etc.). I hope that your SIL can wake up and see that a person of that character doesn't need a reason (ie. cheating) to act on his threats.

[Alex+R 0]

They can, but it takes a special person and true commitment.

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Yup....I have to agree with this as I speak from personal experience.

I'm sure you don't mean to, but you seem to be implying that the abused person can fix the situation if they are just "special" and "committed" enough. Do you mean something else?

[Minya's wife 24]

They can, but it takes a special person and true commitment.

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Yup....I have to agree with this as I speak from personal experience.

I'm sure you don't mean to, but you seem to be implying that the abused person can fix the situation if they are just "special" and "committed" enough. Do you mean something else?

I think Kazan meant to say that an abuser can change, but he/she must be a special person and be truly commited to changing...at least that's how I read it initially, but upon re-reading I can see how one could interpret that sentence both ways.

-P

[Gringita/Morenito 0]

They can, but it takes a special person and true commitment.

Honestly I don't think people like that change. I know somebody who was in an abusive relationship, the guy promised hundreds of times that he was going to change and he never did.

Yup....I have to agree with this as I speak from personal experience.

I'm sure you don't mean to, but you seem to be implying that the abused person can fix the situation if they are just "special" and "committed" enough. Do you mean something else?

I think Kazan meant to say that an abuser can change, but he/she must be a special person and be truly commited to changing...at least that's how I read it initially, but upon re-reading I can see how one could interpret that sentence both ways.

-P

I too see how this could be interperted both ways but I initally read that the abuser can change his/her behavior if he/she is a special person committed to changing.