Setting a marriage date whilst waiting for the visa

[davidm1982 0]

Hi folks,

I hope that everyone is having a good (and not too frustrating) visa experience. I was hoping for some guidance, wisdom and experience. Myself and my fiancee are planning on sending off the I-129F and all the supporting stuff by the end of January. We want to set the date of our marriage before we get approved, so family and friends can book the time off work and get flights. We are thinking of November, but do people think this is too risky in terms of getting the visa by then? 6-8 months is the timeframe I have heard, which would take us up to the end of September for getting the visa. Just to fill people in on the situation, I am British, and there are no obvious difficulties (no divorces or the like) but as we have not used a lawyer there is always the possibility we have missed something somewhere! All advice appreciated.

Thanks, David

[~Chad~ 0]

Hey David. Whatever date you decide on, just remember to keep your plans tentative. It isn't wise to invest alot of money in a big wedding just yet, it is a big gamble. This is a regular problem for people in this situation. Good luck on whatever you decide.

[Steve'sGirl 0]

Welcome to VJ!!!

Even though I believe that September should be feasible, I would not set a wedding date. There are quite a few members here on VJ who have had longer than expected journeys. Lots of obvious cases have taken longer than anticipated. VSC has sped up quite a bit, CSC seems to be going a bit slow still.

My advise would be not to set a wedding date. You will have 180 days to enter the US after the K1 is issued and then another 90 days to get married.

Good luck on your journey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I think it's risky.

Not only from the money aspect but the stress aspect as well.

The K1 process can take anywhere from 6 to 12 months to be approved. Lately, it's been at the higher end of that scale.

November is 9 months from now.

Not saying you won't have your visa by then, you more than likely will...but there is a chance that you may not.

Once the visa is issued, the beneficiary has up to 6 months to enter.

Some people begin planning the wedding then because it's in hand, they know they can enter and everything is good.

You could certainly estimate the time of year you'll be getting married...but booking the date and making deposits on church's and halls, etc. etc. etc. etc. could be a costly mistake, especially if you can't change the date.

I'd wait until you at least had your NOA2 before you book anything.

We are estimating a September wedding...but we aren't putting anything in stone. We are also having a very very small ceremony with about 12 people total and just going out for dinner afterwards. Won't take that much time to plan at all.

Many people go the small wedding route with this visa simply because of the timing issue.

Best of luck to you!!!

[davidm1982 0]

Thanks for the helpful replies - I think it probably would be best to keep everything tentative at the moment. It was not so much the money angle which was worrying me (we both want a small wedding anyway) but the stress of telling the 6 or so people flying over from the UK a date which I could not guarantee. But better let them wait than make them rebook flights I guess!

Thanks again,

David

[kgas 0]

I sent in October and set my wedding date for August 16, as I wanted to have a traditional wedding and wanted to plan ahead. I'm a bit of a gambler though.

But it looks like we'll be okay - just got our NOA2. I would give yourself till the end of the year though (maybe closer to November than September) if you really want to set a date.

Good luck!

[SMASHROX 0]

I will stand up and say that I am one of those people who is "rolling the dice" and set a wedding date in mid-November. We have only put money down on the reception site, which could likely be moved to another date if the timing doesn't work out.

Playing devil's advocate and assuming no visa is issued before the planned nuptials and we want to proceed with the wedding date, is there anything barring us from having my SO enter the country, get married and then start this stinking process over using a K3 visa when he goes home? I realize no one wants to start things over from scratch...but just thinking of ideas for a backup plan because I do have the dream of an amazing wedding.

I think it's risky.

Not only from the money aspect but the stress aspect as well.

The K1 process can take anywhere from 6 to 12 months to be approved. Lately, it's been at the higher end of that scale.

November is 9 months from now.

Not saying you won't have your visa by then, you more than likely will...but there is a chance that you may not.

Once the visa is issued, the beneficiary has up to 6 months to enter.

Some people begin planning the wedding then because it's in hand, they know they can enter and everything is good.

You could certainly estimate the time of year you'll be getting married...but booking the date and making deposits on church's and halls, etc. etc. etc. etc. could be a costly mistake, especially if you can't change the date.

I'd wait until you at least had your NOA2 before you book anything.

We are estimating a September wedding...but we aren't putting anything in stone. We are also having a very very small ceremony with about 12 people total and just going out for dinner afterwards. Won't take that much time to plan at all.

Many people go the small wedding route with this visa simply because of the timing issue.

Best of luck to you!!!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I will stand up and say that I am one of those people who is "rolling the dice" and set a wedding date in mid-November. We have only put money down on the reception site, which could likely be moved to another date if the timing doesn't work out.

Playing devil's advocate and assuming no visa is issued before the planned nuptials and we want to proceed with the wedding date, is there anything barring us from having my SO enter the country, get married and then start this stinking process over using a K3 visa when he goes home? I realize no one wants to start things over from scratch...but just thinking of ideas for a backup plan because I do have the dream of an amazing wedding.

Well....

Yes, you could totally do that...if you are willing to give up another year of you being apart from the man you love.

Believe me when I say, weddings are very special and important but they don't have to be huge and expensive to be "amazing"

I would rather have my husband living with me, together, as a team instead of putting that happiness on hold just for one day. That money could go towards a home or children...a future. Unless you are loaded.

A wedding is one day, marriage is a lifetime.

Just my opinion.

Best of luck with your journey!!!!

Edited January 24, 2008 by ~Laura and Nick~

[athena_ny 1]

I will stand up and say that I am one of those people who is "rolling the dice" and set a wedding date in mid-November. We have only put money down on the reception site, which could likely be moved to another date if the timing doesn't work out.

Playing devil's advocate and assuming no visa is issued before the planned nuptials and we want to proceed with the wedding date, is there anything barring us from having my SO enter the country, get married and then start this stinking process over using a K3 visa when he goes home? I realize no one wants to start things over from scratch...but just thinking of ideas for a backup plan because I do have the dream of an amazing wedding.

Well....

Yes, you could totally do that...if you are willing to give up another year of you being apart from the man you love.

Believe me when I say, weddings are very special and important but they don't have to be huge and expensive to be "amazing"

I would rather have my husband living with me, together, as a team instead of putting that happiness on hold just to have one day which costs me tons of money. That money could go towards a home or children...a future. Unless you are loaded.

Just my opinion.

Best of luck with your journey!!!!

I had 8 people at my wedding, I wore a red dress, and got married at 1 pm on a Friday. I had the dream of an amazing wedding, but the finances aren't and weren't there. And I had a great time and wouldn't have it any other way, and we're planning on doing something big probably for our 10th anniversary...renewal of vows or whatever.

We didn't do a K-1 but I certainly wouldn't have had the money to spend on a wedding that may not happen. Which is why we advise people not to over plan, I suppose.

[kgas 0]

You can have your amazing wedding (which does require advance planning and money), don't let everyone tell you that you have to do it quickie-style if you don't want to, SMASHROX, though it's certainly an attractive option for many.

I would make sure, however, that when you're contracting for services and goods, you get written contracts which are flexible about postponing the date. A lot of deposits are non-refundable, but even if it's non-refundable, it should be fine to contract for goods and services if you can change the date if need be.

[bora bora 1]

Don't make plans that cannot be changed.

[SMASHROX 0]

Karvy - thanks for the advice...it couldn't come at a better time seeing as wedding plans are set in motion now that all this immigration stuff is in the works!

You can have your amazing wedding (which does require advance planning and money), don't let everyone tell you that you have to do it quickie-style if you don't want to, SMASHROX, though it's certainly an attractive option for many.

I would make sure, however, that when you're contracting for services and goods, you get written contracts which are flexible about postponing the date. A lot of deposits are non-refundable, but even if it's non-refundable, it should be fine to contract for goods and services if you can change the date if need be.

[msu17 0]

My husband and I filed our K1 last year through the UK. Wow, 1 year, doesnt seem it! Anywho, we waited till we got the NOA2 to start planning, because at that time petitions were only staying at NSC for a week max. So I talked to a bunch of vendors starting in Feb and explained the situation. When we got the NOA2, I put deposits down, but only at places that let me switch the date if need be. That was in May. My husband got his interview early July and moved here the end of July. We got married on a Thursday the end of August. We had about 100 people there and everything went perfectly. We let his family know end of May and they were all able to make arrangements to come over (6 people). Obviously I bought my dress and bridesmaids dresses etc. before we knew the date. Its up to you how much risk you are willing to take but it definitely can be done. Just dont be one of those people who files in Jan and sets the wedding date for April.... Not going to happen

[kgas 0]

No worries. The whole K-1 process puts a lot of strain on a person, and a lot of people don't want the stress of wedding planning on top of that, which is completely understandable. But I'm pretty low-key about the whole thing (i.e. not a Bridezilla) and we want a church wedding, which we really didn't want to compromise just because he's not a U.S. citizen.

Just remember the thing about getting those FLEXIBLE CONTRACTS IN WRITING and you should be fine.

Have fun with your wedding planning! You deserve it!

[msu17 0]

That is something to think about... I felt like I was going to die worrying about the K1 and planning the wedding, plus some other stressful things I had going on at the time. Both immigration and wedding planning are stressful, so keep in mind that you might feel like having a nervous breakdown every day for several months