Husband kissed another woman

[little white guy 0]

I would advise to re read your writtings but pretend this was someone else asking for advice, what advice would u give her? sometimes our answers are right in front of us.....

Very well said..Many times our own questions, worries, fears hold the answers we need..

Not so hard to answer your own questions..Advice on a web page sure, (your) answer

no..

[fatima53 0]

I am hoping that people can give me advice and help my decision from here on in.

We were married 1 year 5 months ago. We went through the K3 visa route. My ex-husband, although he didn't have much to do with my children - even told me to abort my youngest, who's now a wonderful 4 year old - refused permission for me to leave with the children. They wanted to come, love it here, but he still refused. I had to go to court to get the right to bring them, which I won hands down. This cost $22,000, so I had to sell my house to pay for it. We all had to move to my parents and live in cramped conditions for 10 months. My brother was going through a bad time financially and begged to borrow $66,000 for a few months. It's been 1 year 3 months now and I don't believe I am going to get this back. As I needed the money I had to use credit cards and a loan to cover it, hoping that I would get it back to pay them back. This never happened and I ended up defaulting on the payments, as when I left my country I no longer had the funds to cover the payments. I am now blacklisted.

When I met my Husband, he had debts, an old car and lived in a small apartment. I paid his debts off when we started immigration and I sold my house, we have since bought a house here, all new furniture and he has a nice truck. This was as much for the children to get here to a home, but he obviously had the benefits while we were waiting to get here.

I have christian beliefs. Other people have other points of view and that is their choice, but my husband knew how I felt about things and therefore had the chance to NOT MARRY ME. I do not like porn in my marriage, I believe it is cheating. He was aware of this and told me time and again that he did not do it. He even went as far as to say to me that he didn't want me to cheat during out marriage and that it was very important to him as his wife cheated on him. He also said he would never cheat on me.

We moved here last summer. Things were fine at first, but when certain things were mentioned it would start huge arguments where he would be verbally abusive. He was getting so angry over small things that I was suspicious of why. He then started pushing me and shouting at me. On three occasions he has put his hands around my throat and once hit me around the head hard enough for me to fall back onto the bed.

Just before Christmas he admitted that he was looking at porn regularly on the internet, until about a year ago. He also admitted that at Christmas '06, while he was travelling to see us and to have a marriage blessing in my local church with my whole family, he met and kissed another woman on the airplane. He had a long layover in the states and started talking to her. He chose to sit next to her on the plane and he was the one that instigated the kiss. He continued to sit next to her and even helped her through the rest of steps until they had picked up their baggage. He then came through the gates and kissed me hello, as if nothing had happened.

I feel like a knife has been shoved in my chest. He said he is very sorry, nothing like this will ever happen again, that he loves me and wants me to stay. He has said he will never hit me again. He is in the military and is due to go away in a few months. He has said that he thinks that he can be faithful, but has also said that with what is on offer to military overseas, he is also worried that the temptation may get the better of him, as it did in his previous marriage.

We had only been married 4 months when he kissed this other woman. I don't know what to do. I can go back to my own country, but I have no money left, no home, no job and have been blacklisted. Every time I mention it he uses the kids as a reason why I should not go back. I realise that they are settling here, they love him ( he is a loving step-father ) and that it would be awful to put them though it, but my choices are limited. He pleads with me to stay and work it out - we are going to go to councelling. The problem is, I adored him. I was faithful. I was flirted with plenty of times and never did anything. I gave him everything and this is how he repays me. I still love him and would like to work it out. I will eventually forgive him, but will I forget??? I have known for 4 weeks now and I still get upset occasionally. I may ask a question about that day, or try to get answers as to why he did it. He doesn't like me bringing it up at all and wants to move on with our life. He doesn't like to feel guilty, it makes him feel bad. Even if I could drop it and move on, what message would that give to him?? That I will easily forgive, so he can do it again?

I truly do not know what to do. I wonder if I should cut my losses and move on now so he cannot hurt or disappoint me again. He may be true to his word and be faithful. He may never hit me again. He may never look at porn again. He may be able to stay away from strip clubs and lap dances while away - he did this during his previous marriage. I may be able to move on and feel the way I used to about him. I know he did not sleep with her, that at least is one blessing, but given different circumstances - being at a bar after drinking alcohol, etc. - would the situation have been different?

You are all going through this process of immigration. How would you deal with this situation when you had given up so much to be together, only to find you had been lied to, cheated on and then hit??? Would you go back to your own country and try to get by or would you stay and try to save the marriage?

you have put up with more than i would have, do what your heart tells you. but a man is never to hit a woman, it doesnt matter what he says. wonder why his frist wife left him. if his from usa no wonder he is like he is. but you do what you think is right,and remember you have children to think of also.

good luck

[natasha peter 0]

,

may god bless u and be brave ,i know u already are.maariage is sacred but only for those who believe in god.Counselling works for only who know their behaviours and ready for IMPROVEMENT not FOR PLAYERS.

GOOD LUCK

[Ban Hammer 12,900]

We are involved in the military.

what is meant by involved in the military? one of you is an active duty member?

[Need Advice 0]

We are involved in the military.

what is meant by involved in the military? one of you is an active duty member?

Yes my Husband is active duty Navy. He is due to go to Iraq in a few months, for up to a year.

[chispas 0]

I feel that as long as he is in the military they will keep close tabs on him. Once out or he has a bad experience in Iraq, things may change. My heart goes out to you

[Ban Hammer 12,900]

We are involved in the military.

what is meant by involved in the military? one of you is an active duty member?

Yes my Husband is active duty Navy. He is due to go to Iraq in a few months, for up to a year.

you've got some tough choices. step lightly with this because if it gets back to his chain of command he could be in hot water.

is the woman in the military too btw?

[Kajikit 65]

I am hoping that people can give me advice and help my decision from here on in.

We were married 1 year 5 months ago. We went through the K3 visa route. My ex-husband, although he didn't have much to do with my children - even told me to abort my youngest, who's now a wonderful 4 year old - refused permission for me to leave with the children. They wanted to come, love it here, but he still refused. I had to go to court to get the right to bring them, which I won hands down. This cost $22,000, so I had to sell my house to pay for it. We all had to move to my parents and live in cramped conditions for 10 months. My brother was going through a bad time financially and begged to borrow $66,000 for a few months. It's been 1 year 3 months now and I don't believe I am going to get this back. As I needed the money I had to use credit cards and a loan to cover it, hoping that I would get it back to pay them back. This never happened and I ended up defaulting on the payments, as when I left my country I no longer had the funds to cover the payments. I am now blacklisted.

When I met my Husband, he had debts, an old car and lived in a small apartment. I paid his debts off when we started immigration and I sold my house, we have since bought a house here, all new furniture and he has a nice truck. This was as much for the children to get here to a home, but he obviously had the benefits while we were waiting to get here.

I have christian beliefs. Other people have other points of view and that is their choice, but my husband knew how I felt about things and therefore had the chance to NOT MARRY ME. I do not like porn in my marriage, I believe it is cheating. He was aware of this and told me time and again that he did not do it. He even went as far as to say to me that he didn't want me to cheat during out marriage and that it was very important to him as his wife cheated on him. He also said he would never cheat on me.

We moved here last summer. Things were fine at first, but when certain things were mentioned it would start huge arguments where he would be verbally abusive. He was getting so angry over small things that I was suspicious of why. He then started pushing me and shouting at me. On three occasions he has put his hands around my throat and once hit me around the head hard enough for me to fall back onto the bed.

Just before Christmas he admitted that he was looking at porn regularly on the internet, until about a year ago. He also admitted that at Christmas '06, while he was travelling to see us and to have a marriage blessing in my local church with my whole family, he met and kissed another woman on the airplane. He had a long layover in the states and started talking to her. He chose to sit next to her on the plane and he was the one that instigated the kiss. He continued to sit next to her and even helped her through the rest of steps until they had picked up their baggage. He then came through the gates and kissed me hello, as if nothing had happened.

I feel like a knife has been shoved in my chest. He said he is very sorry, nothing like this will ever happen again, that he loves me and wants me to stay. He has said he will never hit me again. He is in the military and is due to go away in a few months. He has said that he thinks that he can be faithful, but has also said that with what is on offer to military overseas, he is also worried that the temptation may get the better of him, as it did in his previous marriage.

We had only been married 4 months when he kissed this other woman. I don't know what to do. I can go back to my own country, but I have no money left, no home, no job and have been blacklisted. Every time I mention it he uses the kids as a reason why I should not go back. I realise that they are settling here, they love him ( he is a loving step-father ) and that it would be awful to put them though it, but my choices are limited. He pleads with me to stay and work it out - we are going to go to councelling. The problem is, I adored him. I was faithful. I was flirted with plenty of times and never did anything. I gave him everything and this is how he repays me. I still love him and would like to work it out. I will eventually forgive him, but will I forget??? I have known for 4 weeks now and I still get upset occasionally. I may ask a question about that day, or try to get answers as to why he did it. He doesn't like me bringing it up at all and wants to move on with our life. He doesn't like to feel guilty, it makes him feel bad. Even if I could drop it and move on, what message would that give to him?? That I will easily forgive, so he can do it again?

I truly do not know what to do. I wonder if I should cut my losses and move on now so he cannot hurt or disappoint me again. He may be true to his word and be faithful. He may never hit me again. He may never look at porn again. He may be able to stay away from strip clubs and lap dances while away - he did this during his previous marriage. I may be able to move on and feel the way I used to about him. I know he did not sleep with her, that at least is one blessing, but given different circumstances - being at a bar after drinking alcohol, etc. - would the situation have been different?

You are all going through this process of immigration. How would you deal with this situation when you had given up so much to be together, only to find you had been lied to, cheated on and then hit??? Would you go back to your own country and try to get by or would you stay and try to save the marriage?

The 'kissing another woman' is irrelevant. The big kicker here is the fact that he is physically abusive to you. That is NOT RIGHT. Also that you have made all these huge sacrifices to get to where you are and he didn't make ANY. You have a right to a SAFE and happy life - that does not mean staying with an abuser, no matter how sincere a Christian you are. The telling you that he kissed someone else is just another form of control... 'I could easily replace you, so you're damned lucky to have me'... he didn't tell you out of the goodness of his heart or from a sincere desire to repent - he told you to hurt you, plain and simple.

God isn't going to magically change your husband's ways and repair your marriage - that would take a true commitment and desire to change (not on your part - on HIS...) and a LOT of professional help, and I doubt that your husband is ready to do that. Men who abuse women usually aren't. If you stay with him and nothing changes, you or your children could end up seriously hurt or even worse... GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO PUT YOUR CHILDREN OR YOURSELF IN DANGER...

[bhajishah 4]

Kissing people in air port is fun

[Jamie76 0]

Kissing people in air port is fun

Here's an idea. Grow up.

[zqt3344 21]

How horrible, get out now and move on, leave while you still can.

I am hoping that people can give me advice and help my decision from here on in.

We were married 1 year 5 months ago. We went through the K3 visa route. My ex-husband, although he didn't have much to do with my children - even told me to abort my youngest, who's now a wonderful 4 year old - refused permission for me to leave with the children. They wanted to come, love it here, but he still refused. I had to go to court to get the right to bring them, which I won hands down. This cost $22,000, so I had to sell my house to pay for it. We all had to move to my parents and live in cramped conditions for 10 months. My brother was going through a bad time financially and begged to borrow $66,000 for a few months. It's been 1 year 3 months now and I don't believe I am going to get this back. As I needed the money I had to use credit cards and a loan to cover it, hoping that I would get it back to pay them back. This never happened and I ended up defaulting on the payments, as when I left my country I no longer had the funds to cover the payments. I am now blacklisted.

When I met my Husband, he had debts, an old car and lived in a small apartment. I paid his debts off when we started immigration and I sold my house, we have since bought a house here, all new furniture and he has a nice truck. This was as much for the children to get here to a home, but he obviously had the benefits while we were waiting to get here.

I have christian beliefs. Other people have other points of view and that is their choice, but my husband knew how I felt about things and therefore had the chance to NOT MARRY ME. I do not like porn in my marriage, I believe it is cheating. He was aware of this and told me time and again that he did not do it. He even went as far as to say to me that he didn't want me to cheat during out marriage and that it was very important to him as his wife cheated on him. He also said he would never cheat on me.

We moved here last summer. Things were fine at first, but when certain things were mentioned it would start huge arguments where he would be verbally abusive. He was getting so angry over small things that I was suspicious of why. He then started pushing me and shouting at me. On three occasions he has put his hands around my throat and once hit me around the head hard enough for me to fall back onto the bed.

Just before Christmas he admitted that he was looking at porn regularly on the internet, until about a year ago. He also admitted that at Christmas '06, while he was travelling to see us and to have a marriage blessing in my local church with my whole family, he met and kissed another woman on the airplane. He had a long layover in the states and started talking to her. He chose to sit next to her on the plane and he was the one that instigated the kiss. He continued to sit next to her and even helped her through the rest of steps until they had picked up their baggage. He then came through the gates and kissed me hello, as if nothing had happened.

I feel like a knife has been shoved in my chest. He said he is very sorry, nothing like this will ever happen again, that he loves me and wants me to stay. He has said he will never hit me again. He is in the military and is due to go away in a few months. He has said that he thinks that he can be faithful, but has also said that with what is on offer to military overseas, he is also worried that the temptation may get the better of him, as it did in his previous marriage.

We had only been married 4 months when he kissed this other woman. I don't know what to do. I can go back to my own country, but I have no money left, no home, no job and have been blacklisted. Every time I mention it he uses the kids as a reason why I should not go back. I realise that they are settling here, they love him ( he is a loving step-father ) and that it would be awful to put them though it, but my choices are limited. He pleads with me to stay and work it out - we are going to go to councelling. The problem is, I adored him. I was faithful. I was flirted with plenty of times and never did anything. I gave him everything and this is how he repays me. I still love him and would like to work it out. I will eventually forgive him, but will I forget??? I have known for 4 weeks now and I still get upset occasionally. I may ask a question about that day, or try to get answers as to why he did it. He doesn't like me bringing it up at all and wants to move on with our life. He doesn't like to feel guilty, it makes him feel bad. Even if I could drop it and move on, what message would that give to him?? That I will easily forgive, so he can do it again?

I truly do not know what to do. I wonder if I should cut my losses and move on now so he cannot hurt or disappoint me again. He may be true to his word and be faithful. He may never hit me again. He may never look at porn again. He may be able to stay away from strip clubs and lap dances while away - he did this during his previous marriage. I may be able to move on and feel the way I used to about him. I know he did not sleep with her, that at least is one blessing, but given different circumstances - being at a bar after drinking alcohol, etc. - would the situation have been different?

You are all going through this process of immigration. How would you deal with this situation when you had given up so much to be together, only to find you had been lied to, cheated on and then hit??? Would you go back to your own country and try to get by or would you stay and try to save the marriage?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Kissing people in air port is fun

Here's an idea. Grow up.

Ignore the previous poster Jamie, if you look at his profile, you'll realize he's obviously a troll

Saludos,

Caro

[gal2sail 0]

Stay with your husband. Good things are worth waiting for. He sounds like he does love you from his posting.

Just be patient.

It is worth all the wait.

Ok?

Take care and may God Bless your marriage.

[Ban Hammer 12,900]

Kissing people in air port is fun

Here's an idea. Grow up.

Ignore the previous poster Jamie, if you look at his profile, you'll realize he's obviously a troll

Saludos,

Caro

actually, cindishah is female and not a troll.

[bhajishah 4]

reality check young foreign guys are known playas, once in the states thay are in the big candy store!!either deal with it and enjoy what you have or change situation completely because how you gonna change them. and im not a troll. am grown up and wise. so there blah nah boo