Marrying First Cousin

[athena_ny 1]

No flames. Just asking... So which bond and title become stronger: Aunt & Uncle or Mother & Father-In-Law? I mean, after the marriage, who are the parents of the groom and bride?

Aunt and Uncle simply become Aunt and Uncle AND Mother and Father In-Law, on paper. What changes in the relationship, if anything, would vary with each case. It's really not an issue. In my experience, any introductions that include an explanation of "relationship" would be Mother and Father In-Law because they best describe how one couple is SOCIALLY related to the other. The Aunt/Uncle relationship would not be germane in a casual introduction. The family and close friends already know of the dual relationship.

My second wife's sister married their first cousin. In the every day course of life's communication, her father in-law remained either Uncle Jerry or simply Jerry but never Dad. They didn't have children but in other cases the children simply have one set of grand parents instead of two.

Wouldn't they still have 2 sets of grandparents? I mean, the way I see it you'd only have one set if your parents were brother and sister. If your parents are cousins, one set of grandparents would be your mother's parents and another set your father's parents, of which one of the parents would be brother/sister to one of the parents in the other set.

I think.

This is so confusing.

When my cousin married her stepbrother (which I think is weird because they grew up together but whatever), there would have been only one set of grandparents had they been able to have kids because my cousin's mother had abandoned them and her husband/stepbrother's father was out of the picture as well. My uncle wound up divorcing my cousin's husband's mother anyway and last I knew she was living up in the hills with her life partner and a bunch of cats, so she has little contact with anyone, but had it not gone that way....

Edited January 2, 2008 by meow mix

[pushbrk 12,125]

No flames. Just asking... So which bond and title become stronger: Aunt & Uncle or Mother & Father-In-Law? I mean, after the marriage, who are the parents of the groom and bride?

Aunt and Uncle simply become Aunt and Uncle AND Mother and Father In-Law, on paper. What changes in the relationship, if anything, would vary with each case. It's really not an issue. In my experience, any introductions that include an explanation of "relationship" would be Mother and Father In-Law because they best describe how one couple is SOCIALLY related to the other. The Aunt/Uncle relationship would not be germane in a casual introduction. The family and close friends already know of the dual relationship.

My second wife's sister married their first cousin. In the every day course of life's communication, her father in-law remained either Uncle Jerry or simply Jerry but never Dad. They didn't have children but in other cases the children simply have one set of grand parents instead of two.

Wouldn't they still have 2 sets of grandparents? I mean, the way I see it you'd only have one set if your parents were brother and sister. If your parents are cousins, one set of grandparents would be your mother's parents and another set your father's parents, of which one of the parents would be brother/sister to one of the parents in the other set.

I think.

This is so confusing.

When my cousin married her stepbrother (which I think is weird because they grew up together but whatever), there would have been only one set of grandparents had they been able to have kids because my cousin's mother had abandoned them and her husband/stepbrother's father was out of the picture as well. My uncle wound up divorcing my cousin's husband's mother anyway and last I knew she was living up in the hills with her life partner and a bunch of cats, so she has little contact with anyone, but had it not gone that way....

Right, two sets of grand parents but only two instead of four sets of great grandparents. It is confusing, isn't it?

Edit, three instead of four. Really confusing.

Edited January 2, 2008 by pushbrk

[JKD_88 0]

Yeah I still call my mother-in-law "Aunt" but when I'm talking about it to people or introducing then I usually say my mother in law, it's just easier. I don't understand the whole many sets of grand parents though lol, our children will still have two sets of grandparents, my parents and her parents. It's nice to see no one criticizing, it really isn't a big deal at all. Not only did Charles Darwin himself marry his cousin but so did one of my two favorite writers of all time, Edgar Allen Poe. (in case we have literature fans here my other favorite is Charles Dickens )

[Jeraly 4]

I never knew that

I'm pretty certain in the UK it is fine to marry your first cousin but illegal to marry your second cousin... or something like that... In fact when I was younger I used to chase my cousin around the house trying to kiss him

[truffles 2]

I didnt think Dickens married his cousin - i knew Darwin had but was under the impression Dickens married the daughter of a friend - Catherine Hogart. Though apparently he did have a liking for some of her sisters too....

Learn something new everyday!

Stand corrected your not saying dickens did,,,i re read - your saying you have 2 favourites and Poe did but your other fav is dickens...i apologise....will put my reading head on now!

Edited January 2, 2008 by truffles

[athena_ny 1]

I never knew that

I'm pretty certain in the UK it is fine to marry your first cousin but illegal to marry your second cousin... or something like that... In fact when I was younger I used to chase my cousin around the house trying to kiss him

Usually it's illegal to marry first cousins, but second cousins or third cousins or whatever the law. If first cousins are legal, then second cousins would be too logically because the reason most places outlaw the marriage of second cousins is you could be too close genetically - kind of the same reason you can't marry your brother or sister, though I believe there's a world of difference between the two.

Anyway, my whole point is it would make very little sense for you to be able to marry your first cousin and not your second.

[Jeraly 4]

Yeah I know -t hat is why it stood out in my mind - I remembered hearing it and thinking it was weird...

[Amby 490]

I don't know about this but I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK!

[mox 298]

Anyway, my whole point is it would make very little sense for you to be able to marry your first cousin and not your second.

In Utah, it is illegal to fish while riding a horse.

Laws often make sense, but this is not a requirement.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Oh #######! Now I have to cancel my Utah horsebacking riding fishing trip. I guess I'll look back into the golfing while riding a llama in Montana excursion.

Anyway, my whole point is it would make very little sense for you to be able to marry your first cousin and not your second.

In Utah, it is illegal to fish while riding a horse.

Laws often make sense, but this is not a requirement.

[mox 298]

Oh #######! Now I have to cancel my Utah horsebacking riding fishing trip. I guess I'll look back into the golfing while riding a llama in Montana excursion.

Glad to have helped you dodge a bullet there. Just when Alla is set to arrive, you'd be stuck doing 20 to life in a Utah prison.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Oh #######! Now I have to cancel my Utah horsebacking riding fishing trip. I guess I'll look back into the golfing while riding a llama in Montana excursion.

Glad to have helped you dodge a bullet there. Just when Alla is set to arrive, you'd be stuck doing 20 to life in a Utah prison.

[athena_ny 1]

Anyway, my whole point is it would make very little sense for you to be able to marry your first cousin and not your second.

In Utah, it is illegal to fish while riding a horse.

Laws often make sense, but this is not a requirement.

http://www.genetic-genealogy.co.uk/Toc115570145.html

Well it seems the UK agrees with me ... nowhere in those tables (most recently updated seems to be 1986) does it says 2nd cousin marriage is not allowed

[Zuli & Yansel 0]

I dont think you should let them know that he is your cousin because they will think that your relationship is a fake... My situation is similar to yours, im marrying my second cousin but they have no way to find out. GOOD LUCK

[Cassie 8]

I dont think you should let them know that he is your cousin because they will think that your relationship is a fake... My situation is similar to yours, im marrying my second cousin but they have no way to find out. GOOD LUCK

You can't lie on the forms, where you are directly asked if your fiance is related to you. See post #21.

Edited January 3, 2008 by Cassie