RK_and_Inday

They do not accept the one from Civil Registrar. It has to be Cert true copy.
I suggest get a cert true copy of BC first (but I think she already have one she just sent it to Paul but for the sake of people who are in the same situation). Call NSO 737-1111 they will deliver it to you. Charges may vary upon delivery.
You need a cert true copy BC to get the NBI clearance.
Once you have BC and NBI that's enough to get a passport. Bring school ID or form 137 as a back up but NBI and BC are enough.
She will need NBI clearance for the interview at the consulate anyway so might as well get that first.
For the interview, they will actually just ask simple questions. But she has to be exposed with different accents and terms. Problem is that they don't have electricity. This could be practiced by watching movies and american shows.
Not that's it's hard it's because they are just starting a life. At 18, that's when you usually get a job and produce identification. Also, in the Philippines, Marriage applicants who are age 18 to 21 must have parental consent in writing, those age 21 to 25 must have written parental advice (a written indication that the parents are aware of the couple's intent to marry). I am just not sure if there's a form for that or a handwritten statement is enough.

Paul,
You’ve been given good advice here especially from Teapotgurl and Tahoma.
Like Teapotgurl, I think the best thing for her to do right now(since you are still in the gathering stage) is to get online more and to research on her own about the visa process and the requirements for Passport and NBI Clearance application.
Once she gathered the requirements for Passport and NBI Clearance, as Tahoma suggested, she can then apply for her Passport and NBI in Iloilo.
Her mother or her aunt can accompany her to Iloilo since they would still be in Western Visayas (they don’t have to ride a plane) and if they get lost or get confused, they can ask around since the people there speaks the same dialect as theirs.
From their place all they need to do is get to the wharf, take a 15-20 min boat ride to
Iloilo, once in Iloilo get a taxi to take them to Department of Foreign Affairs and NBI.
This can be a good exercise for her to go to a city not as big as confusing as Manila but
can get her to gain experience in transacting and processing her papers on her own
towards the completion of her visa journey.
Btw, when you visited her in Guimaras, did you liked the place? I’ve only been to Guimaras twice and I liked the simple way of living there. I’ve always thought that it’s a driver’s haven as the next jeep/trike/car that you will see in the street is 5-10 mins
away from you. Definitely no Manila traffic 
Goodluck!

no, because you dont know ####### about me. if im lying, how come the whole family except his sister and his sisters daughter dont say a word to her anymore? how come they are all on mine and sam's side? because they were there and they saw i didnt do or say a thing wrong. and as i said before, my mom in law told me she didnt like me even before i came to america, because im a foreigner. she didnt like me and she didnt give me a chance from the start. and her being nice to me for a week was pure acting. i didnt do #######, because im smart enough to behave in a new environment. so shut that drama mouth of yours, and get the hell out of my topic, because you have no idea what im talking about, and you "help" is not needed.
for the person who asked me where was sam during this time, he was trying to change the matress we had on the bed with a new one, and he wasnt around, but when i told him what happened later that night he exploded. so whoever dares to blame my husband one more time can go and drown in niagara falls. and no sam's dad is not in the discution and he'll never be, since he's not part of our lives thank god.
now the old problem some people seem to have with me, i wasnt 12, i was in highschool, i was probably 16 or 17 i dont remember. when i was 12 i was a geek with the highest grades in my class so that doesnt count.
and yes @Confused 2 , i will attack everyone that talks ####### about me or my husband, because you guys dont know any of us , so your opinion isnt needed.
because
1. i didnt ask for help
2. i didnt look for sympathy
3. i wasnt whining
4. i didnt ask for opinion or advice
5. im not and ill never be a butt kisser and a loser like you expect me to be. and ill bite every one of those who throw ####### at me and my family
because as i said before. this topic was made for people in the same situation, not for wannabe internet smartasses
and kennym is just experessing his opinion, no he's not being a butt kisser , and he's right, because you people are inventing ####### to take me down, and dont hope for that cause 100 of you wont manage to do that
no, theres no missing information, all the details are there. good luck being a paranoid

Confused
You also. The issue is you guys are inventing reasons to attack someone. "I dont know any of you, but believe you could be a violent agressive person." What a ridiculous assumption. It is baseless, unfounded and sounds like children.
There is just as much possibility she is telling the truth and all of you are. assuming simply because either, what she posted about something that occured 10 years ago, or there is no way the grandma can be wrong. Not all grandmas are sweet and nice.
Its not about the OP, it is about inventing reasons to attack somebody.
Not shoving anything down your throat or anyone elses. Somebody attack the OP over some baseless BS, then a bunch of you jumped on the band wagon. Like a bunch of Jerry Springer groupies.
Whether shes innocent or not, isnt the point. What basis do you have for assuming she deserves the attacks. It ses you and other are basing you feelings on something in her pre-teen years.
So if anyone is shoving something down anyones throats, it the Jerry Springer fans.
You are just upset, because someone stands up against the bullies. I am certain that if you guys werent in the anynomity of the internet, none of you would treat people like this in person. Its simply cowardly.

People, lets not forget what actually happened, forget that DeeDee punched out someone's teeth when she was 12, it has nothing at all to do with anything. Why pick on her now for something that happened 10 years ago? When I was that age, I clocked my best friend in the back of the head with an umbrella, does that mean that I'm prone to violence? Would I have described that action as involuntary? Absolutely, I had little or no control over my action, it was possibly not "reflexive" more "instinctual" but really? what's the point of arguing semantics other than to make yourself feel superior and try to discredit the person you feel has used the wrong descriptive term?
So, what happened? DeeDee moved in with the love of her life and everything was perfect and then it all went to hell. She mistakenly thought that things would be a fairytale ending, even living with complete strangers because she loves her Sam. She even went so far as to TAKE the abuse that this grandmother doled out to her, going so far as to giving Sam back his ring when she was told to. She's a very OBEDIENT person. Does she fly off the handle and use profanity when faced with stupidity? Absolutely. Did she defend herself to this woman who was abusing her? No. Why? Abused people often don't defend themselves to their abusers, but do to those that they feel have no power over them. Do I think DeeDee might have egged on her abuser a little? Well, victims of abuse are often blamed for the abuse they suffer, and will freely admit to being the catalyst for the fight. Often times they will pick fights with the abusive party even. Did DeeDee do this? Maybe her independant personality and freespirit or even taste in fashion grated on grandma and DeeDee pushed a little. Victims of abuse often push push push until the abuser feels they "deserved it" Why do they do this? Perhaps they have little self esteem, and want to know just how far they can go till the "loving person" proves to them that they are unloveable. Am I analysing DeeDee? Nah, I'm no shrink and I don't know the whole story, but these are common traits in abusive relationships.
Do I think DeeDee is totally innocent in this? Well, I really have this picture in my head of DeeDee talking up a storm of Romanian swear words and curses as Sam finally drove her away to safety. Do I think she did this until that point? No, it was probably enough for the grandma just to have her under her roof, feeding on her anger daily to the point DeeDee needed to be punished. Remember one thing though. No matter WHAT DeeDee did, it was the GRANDMOTHER that was the abuser, SHE was the one that committed the crime, and SHE is the one to blame, not DeeDee, no matter WHAT DeeDee did to provoke her. Hitting and pulling hair is NEVER justified. NEVER.
What do you really gain here by trying to point the blame at the victim? There are countless women's groups that are trying their hardest to stop you from perpetuating the belief that the victim is somehow to blame. Why do you persist?
DeeDee, I'd ask the mods to lock this thread by the way, you got the point you intended to make way back. You know, the part about making sure you don't completely trust the families of your loved ones to be as perfect as they seem, and to make it you and your fiance above all else. A backup plan for those in similar situations if it goes to hell for them too would be prudent.

rebeca or whatever her name is , is indeed a drama queen because i've seen it in tons of topics. well, im not the person to mess with when your advice is not needed (because after all this wasnt at all an advice for me topic, but an advice to other people that were, are, or will be in the same situation). as for the whole punching that girl in the face stuff, it was just one story, not 2. i did punch her in the mouth and she did lose a tooth. that doesnt mean im an overall violent person. 1) i was in highschool. 2) she jumped at me, that WAS a reflex in the moment i saw her raging at me (for picking up my pencil from the floor after we argued for like 30 minutes, the prepp messing for me for being a "goth" ) and hell i will defend myself no matter what. you should definately go and look for a more advanced definition of reflex, because indeed you dont know what you're talking about and trying to be the big bad wolf of internet only amuses me and makes me feel sorry for your pathethic being.
now for those who thought i wasnt being innocent, not saying a word to her whenever she hit me and pulled me, i think that was diplomatic. i didnt say ONE word. and i didnt react in any way. i shut up, and did whatever she told me to. im enought smart not to get into conflict with a hillbilly that carries a gun in the countryside with not many neighbours around
and after all, after the bit of hell i was allowed to see, you really think that i care what people think about me? i couldnt care less

You sound like a drama queen.. To somehow associate something that happened when she was 12 and make any assumptions whatsoever, is simply (as nicely as I can put it, to not violate TOS) ridiculous...
We aren't suggesting that she is perfect, nobody is.. but you're taking something out of context and trying to associate an event that occured when she was 12 years old, and likely that you know nothing about.. Sounds like you want to create some drama...
I hit got in some pretty good fights as a 13-14 year old as well,, And boy did I kick some butt back then. And it felt good to give someone a butt-kicking when they deserved it.. But, that has nothing to do with the way I handle my adult affairs.. And to try to make a correlation here is simply..................
..................well I dont want to violate any TOS...
It seems like like you need to find something to fill your spare time..,

Actually there are 3 sides to every story:
Your side...
Their side...
And the Truth which generally lies somewhere in the middle...

Rebecca Jo
at 12 years old, I punched a few people also as a kid, not sure what your point is... It's ridiculous to try to demonize someone for something they did as a kid and then try to play word games with them..
Can you clearly state your point and explain to the rest of us what you're trying to say..

What I dont get is; now that you have concluded that Darren is bad, is the bashing for the fun of it? or is something constructive going to come from it?
Waiting for an answer..
come'n man, You guys are letting me down...
I am starting to feel like you have no agenda except to bash on people...
Guys, insulting me is more evidense you have no agenda except to be abusive...
But this is good, your exposing yourselves...

Self Serving, Doubtful.. I know you're attempts to discredit me is appealing to the springer fans, but not working for me..
There is nothing self serving about exposing bullies.. Good try though.. however ridiculous attempt it is..
I have read the entire thread.. took me a couple of hours, but I read every single posts before making any comments, and what I get out of this is very diferent than you.. And the reason is, I am not seeking a reason to create drama.. I see the same bored clan attacking people over and over, and I am making it my agenda to expose that..
I cant stand maury povich for the same reason, it is simply garbage and a room full of immmature people jumping to conclusions after conclusions for the benefit of getting some satisfaction of furthering feeling that they are better than the rest of the world..
You cant seem to get that satisfaction from your life, so you find a internet forum to create that for you.. And then you use the protection of the internet to accuse someone of control, abuse, or whatever to make yourself feel better about your pointless lives..
Again, answer the quesstion.. for those who think that; jumping to conclusions and accusing someone of robbing the craddle or controlling their SO, or whatever, how does it help? How do you or rebecca, or those bashing the OP propose to help the 19 year old wife or the supposedly screwed up OP?I've asked the question 3 times, and nobody has addressed it.. Why? Because you guys dont really care about helping anybody.. you simply love to bash on people because you have concluded they are bad.. without considering any of the explainations offered for the statements made, you have made your conclusion and now you propose to fix the OP or solve the 19 yo's problem by beating up on the OP?
I am anxiously waiting to hear how this is going to help anyone...
Common, anita, rebecca, tmma, Crashed~N2~Me, how does your bashing help anything..
There are ways to offer constructive advice, but that isnt happening here, it is a assualt on the OP and anyone who attempts to say wait a minute, lets help in a constuctive way...
The reason is, because you arent entertained unless you gang up on someone..
go ahead, answer the question...I doubt you can...

It is absolutely amazing how everyone jumps on the bandwagon (the mob mentality) and nit-piks posts to death... Admitedly some of his posts were alarming, but... There are way too many people on VJ that enjoy making people feel like #######..
Folks,
not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...
He could be, but you've missed the whole darn point.. Anyone who's been around VJ for more than a day, knows this topic is a common issue when it comes to PI.. and although, darren wondered off into the weeds with his narative about villages and tribes, his point was effectively the same as others have posted numerous times..
It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue.. instead of bashing someone to death.. Darren may have things to learn from others dealing with the stuff, but beating the ####### out of him with attacks and insults isnt going to teach him a darn thing.. Folks, #######?????
I simply feel like this Web Site has moved from one with genuine people to one where people with issues, use it beat up on others while taking advantage of the annonymity the internet.. One person makes a derogatory assesment, and before you know it everyone is jumpin in and adding their comment... Most of you wouldn't treat people like this in person and certainly wouldnt have the courage to treat your friends or family like this especially if you were face to face, but thank god for the internet.. It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....
Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..
I applaud the few people who got in supported the possiblity that Darren had commuications issues, but 90% of you ignored those posts and continued to beat up on him..
Darren may not have all the answers, but I am confident that nobody else (especially the attackers) does either...
Un-flippin-believable...

Please allow me to settle this.
CFO does not need:
> A CENOMAR-- from the NSO.
> Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage-- from the Embassy.
CFO needs:
> A copy of his divorce papers.
> A copy of his federal income tax return/ tax transcript showing that he filed as single.
Thank you.

Well, I disagree. The moon is made of Blue Cheese.
Does the Color of the Moon have anything to do with a Letter of Intent ?

Your first question: Never was mentioned in the post from the OP but assume there was no communication for a period of time and the beneficiary shows for an interveiw for a Visa. (There could be a good cause for this and just a posibility) A supportive Document such as a New Letter of Intent would help suffice the Consulate.
#2 Question. Stop crying.. No one downed you. You always throw sticks and stones at me but it does not help the OP when you fight with me. I violated no TOS. Honesty is the best policy and I think as a benefit to the OP your advice is wrong. Thats not a violation. Thats my thought as a Member here. Sit back in your chair and think back when you just started this process and put yourself in a New-Bee's shoes. I'm a New-Bee myself. We don't need attitudes, we need sound advice.

Its funny that so many of you are attacking him because of their age difference, saying he is robbing the cradle because she has no life experience. I joined this site (after just visiting the Philippines) I made the comment here, how shocked I was that there were so many older men (50yrs old) with such young girls(18-20yrs old)in Manila and that it turned my stomach. They had no life experience what so ever and now there is some American throwing money around luring them in. I was telling my fiance while we visited manila that there is no way that this would be acceptable in the states. Wow did I get attacked after posting my comment, saying I was insulting half of the VJ community and the comments just kept coming until I just laughed them off and didn't give a response to fuel the fire. Now its OK for you to do the same to Darren, because he doing the same thing that I was describing and your seeing the reality of it unfold here. Yes, I know there is a lot more to this story then just age, but man you love to mention it. lol
Darren,
Just get your finances together, set an amount you can afford to send back to help Gretchen's family. Hopefully you will come to your senses and let her either get a job or go to school to better herself. Once she is able to send her own money home she will feel like she is doing her part by helping her family back home without burdening you. As far as Gretchen goes dealing with her family back home, if she loves you then she will stay and if she doesn't love you enough then she will wish to be back home and take this a learning mistake. I really hope that doesn't happen, and you two can be the family both of you are dreaming of. I guess the slams against you are of your own doing and I'm hope you will never allow sharks in the water too feed off you again.

Niggardly is an actual word with a specific meaning. Someone who assumes it to be racist because it sounds like a racial slur is frankly an idiot.

I don't have a need to "pathologize". I was just hoping for a somewhat-normal woman and the ability to have a happy relationship. When I got extreme manipulation, like no other woman I'd ever experienced, I tried to make sense of it. BPD is where it led, especially when I ran back through the history of the relationship, and tried looking at events through the BPD lens. If you are professionally offended by my amateur diagnosis, I will happily live with that. The BPD part is exceedingly clear, and seems to be the dominant feature. What else is there, well that's where I acknowledge my ignorance. I feel I can also state with confidence that she is NOT Bipolar.
Externalize responsibility? Did you not read my earlier posts acknowledging 100% responsibility for ignoring signs? There were plenty, plenty of signs, and I chose to foolishly believe she would relax and behave like a normal woman in the USA. I operated from the wrong model, and I ignored advice, because I foolishly *wanted* to believe it would work. Mostly I am guilty of having no direct prior experience with personality disorders like this. Women test men ALL the time in different ways. You test us to see if we are weak and needy approval-seekers, among other things. (I am assuming you are female, and including you in the collective "You") You test us men to see if we will hand you our balls to keep in your purse. (Most women don't want such a man) Way too many men don't test women, especially "nice guys". I do. You label it as "provoking". I tested her statements of how she would be in the USA, and found out that she had previously told me what I wanted to hear, and that her actions and intentions were quite different than her words. I found that she is used to using affection and sex as a way of controlling men, and tried to do that with me, to pressure me into a quick marriage. I found that she would rage at me about any outside interests, which I suspect is partly because those limit her opportunity to influence and control me. I found that she could go from raging at me one moment, to talking in a casual and friendly way with houseguests 15 seconds later. I found that she would create arguments out of thin air to advance her agenda and try to control me. Then she would later use the *wrong* argument as the basis for her behavior punishing me. I found that not only did she present herself as an expert on Russian woman/American man relationships, but in the next breath, she also presented herself as an expert on American women in relationships. Uh, NO.
Yes, I do have plenty of my own issues, thank you very much. I've done a lot of work on them throughout my entire adult life, and I feel rather good most of the time about the results. For what it's worth, I disclosed all my (known) issues to her when I visited her in her country. She pooh-pooh'ed the existence of these issues and stated they were absolutely not a concern, and she, like many Russians, tends to think such psychological things are fluffy American Bolshevik anyway.
Linehan's DBT program seems to be the only one I could tell yields somewhat consistent results. Perhaps she's just a better Internet marketer than proponents of other programs. In my city, there is a clinic staffed with at least one person who has been personally trained by Dr. Linehan in DBT and been doing it since 2005. I spoke with her. My objective is to get my girl in there for an assessment. Of course, any such program is a moot point if the potential BPD does not wish to participate, and the woman I spoke with was somewhat hostile and suspicious towards me, and rather protective of the (potential) BPD. I take that attitude as an overall good thing. If you know of other successful BPD treatment programs, please point me to them.
Many of the BPD-related materials suggested NOT confronting suspected BPDs with the information. SWOE listed a few exceptions, and I felt this circumstance fit one of those exceptions.
If you are done scolding me, can you run with me for a bit on the BPD thing, and do you now have some more constructive advice for me, and my own safety and happiness, and for the best overall outcome of this situation? My own safety and happiness is first, of course, but I have no desire to have things be any worse than they already are for this woman and her daughter.

I'm wishing them all the best and peace of mind. It's not yet late to make things right

I just want to say Good luck, were all counting on you.

Darren, I haven't said much yet, but have read all of your threads this past month. As some have said, I think you have a serious lack of ability to express yourself as you mean to. At least, I HOPE that's what it is that's leading to all your woes.
But about the money... it's wonderful that you sent it. And I know full well money doesn't grow on trees. But you sent it. It's gone. The moment it left your bank, it was NO LONGER YOURS, and unless you sent a certain amount of money, with instructions on how to spend it, it's none of your business how it got spent. And since you brought it up first... if you didn't have the money just laying around to throw at the trip, then you could have saved LOT by staying in the US and working. Not only would you have completely eliminated all the SLEC and USEM drama, you would have saved all the costs of YOUR travel, plus you would have a paycheck this week. Not the smartest decision you could have made, considering your dire financial status now.
And another thing... why even mention the PHP160,000 that you have sent? Do you think it matters to anyone here? That is personal business, and you should know better than publish it publicly. And FWIW, considering the amount of time you were sending it, it really isn't all that much. More than they had before, and I am sure it was appreciated by Gretchen's family, but not an amount worthy of bragging about (or complaining about, depending on your point of view) on VJ. If you have it to send, and won't miss it, by all means, share away. But quit trying to make it sound like you are some sort of champ because you did. Most on here do. And even if they send less in total than you, I am sure it is a significant part of ALL their budgets, trying to help out another family halfway around the world.
I understand where you are coming from, saying Gretchen "is yours". While it is a foreign concept to many of us, my Asawa has told me that is how she feels about our relationship... she is "giving herself" to me; she "is mine". But bear in mind that it means more about fidelity, love, honor, and commitment than it does anything physical. As long as the respect, love, & fidelity are given back equally, you will be alright, in spite of how it may sound to some on here. I'm sure if I don't treat her as an equal, she will slap the (insert your favorite expletive here) out of me, and set me straight, or leave me for someone who WILL respect her.
As for the MIL part of it, you have been given some good advice thus far. Namely, like them or not, agree or not, they are now part of your family. And while Gretchen may love you, which I am sure she does, as much as she knows how, remember that she has been loving her mama for 100% of her life, and you only 3.5% of it. Blood/water was mentioned, and is very true. Respect her parents as much as you love Gretchen, and it will prolly work out ok for you. And to help sweet, young Gretchen understand the money situation, a monthly tally of your income and expenditures for the past few months, as well as the future, might help a lot. People who aren't used to the money that Americans "throw around" have virtually no grasp on what bills and such cost over here. A good example was when my fiancee and I were discussing plane fares... Our round trip for two from MNL to TAG is costing me a whole $178. Imagine her surprise to find out that a visit to my parents from Alaska will be more like $800 EACH. Absolutely no frame of reference to someone who has never traveled outside the PI.
Good luck to both of you, you're both gonna need it. And while this piece of advice may seem counter-intuitive, you may wish to seek advice from those that know you better than most on here.
Best wishes to you and Gretchen!

Darren,
As I mentioned in a previous post quoting you, you have a lot to learn. I hate to say it, but the way you are setting up this relationship I think you are creating some problems for the two of you. I also mentioned earlier not to leave the wrong impression with her family but I may have been too late on that comment. I'm sure their expectations are higher than you imagined.
I think you really need to scramble at this point. It's going to take a lot of long conversations between you and your future wife to set things straight. Concentrate on your relationship with her now. It may be hard for her to open up to you and express her true feelings at first. Be prepared for that. Don't try to control her every move, it will only lead to trouble.
Have you introduced her to any Filipinos here yet? They will be able to help explain things to her in her own language about your relationship with her family. She needs another friend here besides you. Preferably someone who has gone through what she's going through.
Good luck to both of you,

Okay, I'm assuming that you really are sincere when you're asking how to deal with mama in law? So, I'm going to just answer that question and ignore all the controversial parts of the post.
I'm going to assume that you meant the part about respecting Gretchen's parents; but the problem is, your actions don't seem to show that respect. If mama doesn't want Gretchen associating with certain people, I think it's disrespectful to totally ignore her wishes. Plus, you haven't even told Gretchen that the people will be at the wedding. Doesn't Gretchen get to help decide that? Would Gretchen want to go behind her mother's back? You're showing a lack of respect to both Gretchen and her mother.
You also have a problem with mama trying to influence Gretchen. If you have respect for the person Gretchen is, then you should have respect for her mother because there is probably nobody who has been more influential in her life. And to start talking about the gravy train also shows a lack of respect. You get to make all the decisions now because you're the man with the money. Do you seriously want to say that? What happened to the respect?
My advice is start showing real respect to her parents and even more importantly, show respect to Gretchen. Don't make decisions without her being a part of it. Don't deceive the mother in law. Think about the point of view of others. And do a lot more listening.
Hope that helps.

She is mine now?
I control you?
Who wears the pants and dresses?
Purpose of your post? You have a fiancee not property.

Several thoughts,
If the reason for killing Kindy was because of someone else burning a book, then I have no respect for the killers, taga bukid.
2-For everyone who hates Americans, there are 10,000 foreigners that want to come to the US. Is it jealousy?
3- Maybe filipina women want 'canos, because they will have a better life.
4- 2 men jumping on a jeepney with loaded pistols and gunning down an unarmed man for any reason is the act of a coward.