livindadream

The saddest part of all this is that I noticed you are so close to your interview date and should be head over heels knowing he would be home with you soon. I have to tell you, my husband is Nigerian and we have been living together for almost 6 years here in Ghana together. I have SEEN and HEARD just about everything I ever wish to see or hear about what some people are capable of doing to another for money. Its a hard life here, just like in Nigeria (I've been there twice as well). A lot of men and women will do criminal things here to earn money to eat or provide for their families. I feel bad for them, but at the same time they are preying on my own country men and women when they do it. Before we had internet in our house, we used to go to an internet café a lot to talk to people back home. I saw the lengths to which a young man would go to, and they were so used to seeing me in there, that I guess it didn't phase them or make them want to hide the fact that they were pretending to be a female talking to an American man who was on their computer screen doing some "really gross things"....in front of this young man, and not the hot girl they thought they were talking to.
My point is, this request your husband is asking of you, is classic scam 101. Someone is stealing money from someone's account and wanting to send it to yours (a wire transfer)....OR someone is scamming someone out of their money and in order to make the scam look legit, they are asking the person to wire the money to an American bank account. Sending the money to Nigeria whether it is thru moneygram/ western union or to a Nigerian bank account would never fit into the "story". I'm not saying your husband is the ring leader, but perhaps someone has come to him and said "hey, we know you have a wife in America, if you do this...we will give you a percentage of it". People have pulled my husband to the side on numerous occasions and tried to ask the same thing. He just tells them "no no no". He would NEVER put me in that position not to talk of getting mad at me if I said no.
I understand your husbands frustration, there is money dangling over his head if he can just do this one thing....and that would mean he'd have the money to buy the ticket to come there. But if there is real love there for you, he would NEVER put you in that position. That is something that you really want to take into consideration before you proceed with anything else. At the VERY least, he shouldn't be concocting a story about people owing his sister money, yada yada yada. If he'd lie to you about that, form up a big story about it, risk putting you in jeopardy AND making you feel bad for not giving in, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Writing through my wife's account again--- I also want to add, that Africa is 54 nations and thousands of tribes within those nations. And even within those thousands of tribes there are millions of individual characters and traits. To label ALL OF AFRICA to say that "AFRICANS need this, and do that" is so disrespectful. And I thank God my wife refers to me as "her husband" --- and not "her African." smh My blood is boiling reading one posters use of "they do this and they do that" . And ENGLISH IS ENGLISH. If it does not sound like English to you, then I don't know what to tell you.

Writing through my wife's account again--- I also want to add, that Africa is 54 nations and thousands of tribes within those nations. And even within those thousands of tribes there are millions of individual characters and traits. To label ALL OF AFRICA to say that "AFRICANS need this, and do that" is so disrespectful. And I thank God my wife refers to me as "her husband" --- and not "her African." smh My blood is boiling reading one posters use of "they do this and they do that" . And ENGLISH IS ENGLISH. If it does not sound like English to you, then I don't know what to tell you.

We are helping , in high fraud countries things that are not a concern in every other country raises a difference response. A failed request for a student visa from the UK is just a tick mark on the paperwork In Nigeria it can lead to questions about being desperate to get to America and doubt of the validity of the relationship. I know of a group of Nigerians that marry , petition, divorce and repeat along with their newly resident spouse. They are trying to get their village residence one house at a time. I have never heard of this kind of behavior in low fraud countries. So the standard answer of part visa applications not being an issue is tainted in Nigeria.

Why would I not speak the truth about Nigeria ? I tend to refer to the US as a moral cesspool which is also the truth. Facts are facts and protesting the use of them doesn't change them. It is the behavior of Nigerians at the consulate that has it labelled a high fraud country. Everyone interviewing at Lagos pays for the fake papers, fake families, and fake love interests of the ones that have gone before. Immigration wouldn't think twice about prior visitors applications or student visas from the OK or France.

Marrying ANOTHER AMERICAN GIRL? I suspect she feels you married her for the GC. That's why she and entire family is ignoring you. I might be wrong.
My advice is you use all means possible to get her back. I think that should be more important than the interview at the embassy. But again, that's if you love her

For some reason your wife has cut off communication. In most US states you can file for a divorce by notification and divorce is a public record. You can check the records where ever she lives in about a year and see if she divorced you or not. Your current petition is dead without her so don't even bother with anything if she doesn't reconnect with you. You will not be able to have another petition filed for you based on a wife of fiancé until you have the proper papers ending this relationship . If you can't produce either US or Nigerian divorce or presumptive death papers you are still married.

In my opinion the fiancé visa seems a little quicker, but not by much and not always. However, in some of your previous posts you mentioned your fiancé wanting to start working when he gets to the States. If you marry him in Nigeria and go that route, he'll be able to work as soon as he gets to the States. If he comes on a fiancé visa, he will have to wait until after you marry and file more paperwork to adjust his status before he can begin working.

HI, I've been reading all your posts. I know it sounds crappy whichever way you try to turn, but all the advice you've been given, is all accurate. This man, being jobless in Nigeria, is NEVER going to get a visitor visa. Please don't waste your time or resources waiting for that to happen. It is not fair, and it hurts to want to be with someone that you cant be with, but its reality. I'm even a little surprised that your fiancé is telling you that he can go to the US on a visitor visa because most young men in Nigeria already know how hard that is to do. IF by some miracle he is able to enter the US on a visitor visa, he is not eligible to work in the USA. If you really want to be with this man, you have no option but to go to visit him. I have been to Nigeria a few times and I had horrible experiences there...that's not to say everyone will. But because of my bad experiences, I now come to Ghana and stay with my husband. Ghana is really really cool, and much more stable and safe. (I know Nigerians don't like to hear that, but my husband can tell you, its true). It says you are in New York...there are straight flights from New York to Ghana for around 1200 dollars. Flights with stops are slightly less. Ask your fiancé if he knows anyone in Ghana. There are A LOT of Nigerians here and maybe he knows someone that could accommodate the two of you for a couple weeks so you wouldn't have to pay hotel bills. A bus ride from Nigeria to Ghana on ABC bus is around $100 so it wont cost him too much to get here. And going back is around half of that. Food is cheap here if you don't go to the hotel restaurants and transportation is dirt cheap. It really wont cost too much if you make an effort. I wish you all the best.

OP, consider this post/thread and your other as an introductory course in family based US immigration. Now you will need to major in high fraud countries as your fiance is from what is considered the number 1 visa fraud country. So regardless of his character, he (and you) will have to prove convincingly that your relationship is bona fide.
Your assumption about staying 6 months is wrong. A jobless, single male from a poor country will not be given such a long stay. And it is very likely that he cannot obtain a visitor visa. And that visa would not allow him to work in the US.
Not having enough money to meet in person is not an acceptable reason for not meeting. The immigration process is expensive. If you can't afford it now, wait until a time when you can afford it.
Some hostility toward your religious group in his country is not a reason to exempt you from the meeting in person requirement. If you do some reading here on VJ you will find many people who have had similar issues that were not held as compelling reasons. Meeting in another country is an option.
You've heard a lot of information that you do not like. But the preponderance of opinions are the same. Take that feedback seriously as you revise your plans.
Best of luck in your journey.

HI, I've been reading all your posts. I know it sounds crappy whichever way you try to turn, but all the advice you've been given, is all accurate. This man, being jobless in Nigeria, is NEVER going to get a visitor visa. Please don't waste your time or resources waiting for that to happen. It is not fair, and it hurts to want to be with someone that you cant be with, but its reality. I'm even a little surprised that your fiancé is telling you that he can go to the US on a visitor visa because most young men in Nigeria already know how hard that is to do. IF by some miracle he is able to enter the US on a visitor visa, he is not eligible to work in the USA. If you really want to be with this man, you have no option but to go to visit him. I have been to Nigeria a few times and I had horrible experiences there...that's not to say everyone will. But because of my bad experiences, I now come to Ghana and stay with my husband. Ghana is really really cool, and much more stable and safe. (I know Nigerians don't like to hear that, but my husband can tell you, its true). It says you are in New York...there are straight flights from New York to Ghana for around 1200 dollars. Flights with stops are slightly less. Ask your fiancé if he knows anyone in Ghana. There are A LOT of Nigerians here and maybe he knows someone that could accommodate the two of you for a couple weeks so you wouldn't have to pay hotel bills. A bus ride from Nigeria to Ghana on ABC bus is around $100 so it wont cost him too much to get here. And going back is around half of that. Food is cheap here if you don't go to the hotel restaurants and transportation is dirt cheap. It really wont cost too much if you make an effort. I wish you all the best.

HI, I've been reading all your posts. I know it sounds crappy whichever way you try to turn, but all the advice you've been given, is all accurate. This man, being jobless in Nigeria, is NEVER going to get a visitor visa. Please don't waste your time or resources waiting for that to happen. It is not fair, and it hurts to want to be with someone that you cant be with, but its reality. I'm even a little surprised that your fiancé is telling you that he can go to the US on a visitor visa because most young men in Nigeria already know how hard that is to do. IF by some miracle he is able to enter the US on a visitor visa, he is not eligible to work in the USA. If you really want to be with this man, you have no option but to go to visit him. I have been to Nigeria a few times and I had horrible experiences there...that's not to say everyone will. But because of my bad experiences, I now come to Ghana and stay with my husband. Ghana is really really cool, and much more stable and safe. (I know Nigerians don't like to hear that, but my husband can tell you, its true). It says you are in New York...there are straight flights from New York to Ghana for around 1200 dollars. Flights with stops are slightly less. Ask your fiancé if he knows anyone in Ghana. There are A LOT of Nigerians here and maybe he knows someone that could accommodate the two of you for a couple weeks so you wouldn't have to pay hotel bills. A bus ride from Nigeria to Ghana on ABC bus is around $100 so it wont cost him too much to get here. And going back is around half of that. Food is cheap here if you don't go to the hotel restaurants and transportation is dirt cheap. It really wont cost too much if you make an effort. I wish you all the best.

Writing through my wife's account again--- I also want to add, that Africa is 54 nations and thousands of tribes within those nations. And even within those thousands of tribes there are millions of individual characters and traits. To label ALL OF AFRICA to say that "AFRICANS need this, and do that" is so disrespectful. And I thank God my wife refers to me as "her husband" --- and not "her African." smh My blood is boiling reading one posters use of "they do this and they do that" . And ENGLISH IS ENGLISH. If it does not sound like English to you, then I don't know what to tell you.

Writing through my wife's account..
We were just laying down when I saw this post she was reading. The part where you stated he finds all reasons to start a fight caught my attention. That is a classic sign of someone who is up to something and has an ulterior plan. I must say it's hard to understand what you're going through because only you know what you have invested till this very point but don't let that be a reason to hold on to heartbreak and continuous headache. First about the use of Pot, I would assume you were aware of this before now but still its a sign of irresponsibility on his end wanting to be a pot head. On the financial aspect of things, I must say there's a lot of RED flags, I wrote red in capital because in a normal African setting a man fights and strives to be the provider whichever way he can. If you have a man failing to do that its a sign he really doesn't care or see reason to work to support you. In a general view of things a man who looks for every reason to quit a job is giving you so much sign of how much you can't depend on him. Imagine within 10-15 years you're waiting for retirement you have to put your entire survival on him, you know the answer-- he wont stand up to the challenge. Also about him wanting to spend half the time in Senegal and Half back in the states with you, I would beg you not to buy into that because its a clear sign he definitely has a tie to something over there. An average African man has no ties apart from where his survival comes from, so if you're offering him an upgrade in life by him being in the states and he still wants to risk going back home (Which as a man his home should be where his wife @) he definitely has a tie back there you only don't know yet. Like I tell people always-- don't let the pain of losing something unreliable put you in a position where you have to regret an entire life. If I was to be a judge, which I don't think am fit to judge any human, he's a ticking time bomb which you have all the signs to avoid. Make a better decision. You may have to feel the loss for a few months but believe me after then you would appreciate all the sadness you would have put yourself in on the long run.
We all can advice you and give you more clarity but you have the decision to make, HE is using you.

Writing through my wife's account again--- I also want to add, that Africa is 54 nations and thousands of tribes within those nations. And even within those thousands of tribes there are millions of individual characters and traits. To label ALL OF AFRICA to say that "AFRICANS need this, and do that" is so disrespectful. And I thank God my wife refers to me as "her husband" --- and not "her African." smh My blood is boiling reading one posters use of "they do this and they do that" . And ENGLISH IS ENGLISH. If it does not sound like English to you, then I don't know what to tell you.

Dumsor don spoil everything for Ghana!! lol...Im not making light of your long wait, but I'm about fed up with Ghana right now and this light situation. Just at times when I think its getting better, it gets worse again...and now Vodafone is so much affected by it, that we barely can browse at home because the internet goes out shortly after the light is taken! I wont doubt its somehow affecting the embassy.

I definitely would. My case was completed in 27 days. Scan date April 17, cc May 14th. Go for it!

That is correct. You can choose to interview in either Lagos or your current country of residence.
Lagos is hell to go through but you will get scrutinized going through any other country's embassy too because you are of Nigerian nationality.
OP, are you a legal permanent resident there or on a valid student visa ? Why not interview in your current country's embassy ?

Definitely get police certificates from the country you are living in. Also, I believe if you are a permanent resident of the country that you are in, you could interview there and not in Nigeria.

Definitely get police certificates from the country you are living in. Also, I believe if you are a permanent resident of the country that you are in, you could interview there and not in Nigeria.

The saddest part of all this is that I noticed you are so close to your interview date and should be head over heels knowing he would be home with you soon. I have to tell you, my husband is Nigerian and we have been living together for almost 6 years here in Ghana together. I have SEEN and HEARD just about everything I ever wish to see or hear about what some people are capable of doing to another for money. Its a hard life here, just like in Nigeria (I've been there twice as well). A lot of men and women will do criminal things here to earn money to eat or provide for their families. I feel bad for them, but at the same time they are preying on my own country men and women when they do it. Before we had internet in our house, we used to go to an internet café a lot to talk to people back home. I saw the lengths to which a young man would go to, and they were so used to seeing me in there, that I guess it didn't phase them or make them want to hide the fact that they were pretending to be a female talking to an American man who was on their computer screen doing some "really gross things"....in front of this young man, and not the hot girl they thought they were talking to.
My point is, this request your husband is asking of you, is classic scam 101. Someone is stealing money from someone's account and wanting to send it to yours (a wire transfer)....OR someone is scamming someone out of their money and in order to make the scam look legit, they are asking the person to wire the money to an American bank account. Sending the money to Nigeria whether it is thru moneygram/ western union or to a Nigerian bank account would never fit into the "story". I'm not saying your husband is the ring leader, but perhaps someone has come to him and said "hey, we know you have a wife in America, if you do this...we will give you a percentage of it". People have pulled my husband to the side on numerous occasions and tried to ask the same thing. He just tells them "no no no". He would NEVER put me in that position not to talk of getting mad at me if I said no.
I understand your husbands frustration, there is money dangling over his head if he can just do this one thing....and that would mean he'd have the money to buy the ticket to come there. But if there is real love there for you, he would NEVER put you in that position. That is something that you really want to take into consideration before you proceed with anything else. At the VERY least, he shouldn't be concocting a story about people owing his sister money, yada yada yada. If he'd lie to you about that, form up a big story about it, risk putting you in jeopardy AND making you feel bad for not giving in, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

The saddest part of all this is that I noticed you are so close to your interview date and should be head over heels knowing he would be home with you soon. I have to tell you, my husband is Nigerian and we have been living together for almost 6 years here in Ghana together. I have SEEN and HEARD just about everything I ever wish to see or hear about what some people are capable of doing to another for money. Its a hard life here, just like in Nigeria (I've been there twice as well). A lot of men and women will do criminal things here to earn money to eat or provide for their families. I feel bad for them, but at the same time they are preying on my own country men and women when they do it. Before we had internet in our house, we used to go to an internet café a lot to talk to people back home. I saw the lengths to which a young man would go to, and they were so used to seeing me in there, that I guess it didn't phase them or make them want to hide the fact that they were pretending to be a female talking to an American man who was on their computer screen doing some "really gross things"....in front of this young man, and not the hot girl they thought they were talking to.
My point is, this request your husband is asking of you, is classic scam 101. Someone is stealing money from someone's account and wanting to send it to yours (a wire transfer)....OR someone is scamming someone out of their money and in order to make the scam look legit, they are asking the person to wire the money to an American bank account. Sending the money to Nigeria whether it is thru moneygram/ western union or to a Nigerian bank account would never fit into the "story". I'm not saying your husband is the ring leader, but perhaps someone has come to him and said "hey, we know you have a wife in America, if you do this...we will give you a percentage of it". People have pulled my husband to the side on numerous occasions and tried to ask the same thing. He just tells them "no no no". He would NEVER put me in that position not to talk of getting mad at me if I said no.
I understand your husbands frustration, there is money dangling over his head if he can just do this one thing....and that would mean he'd have the money to buy the ticket to come there. But if there is real love there for you, he would NEVER put you in that position. That is something that you really want to take into consideration before you proceed with anything else. At the VERY least, he shouldn't be concocting a story about people owing his sister money, yada yada yada. If he'd lie to you about that, form up a big story about it, risk putting you in jeopardy AND making you feel bad for not giving in, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

This is a scam and I am suspecting your husband to have a very willing part in it, full well knowing it is a scam and you are being
used as a money mule. Huge red flag.
They are laundering stolen funds and will also try to hack your account.
There is no reason whatsoever for your bank account to be involved for a legit transfer to Nigeria from wherever. None.
Rethink bringing him here.
I would not trust him with any bank accounts or credit cards if he makes it here.
Many get involved in all kind of crazy scams once here also...it just won't stop here.
I am so sorry this is happening to you !

OP, I would suggest for you to read up on the cycle of abuse. (Resources here, here and here.) From what you are saying, it seems quite clear that you are being emotionally abused by your husband. Even if you don't think so, it's good to be aware. Abuse that's not physical often gets overlooked, even if the consequences can be equally devastating. I wish you all the best! <3

The saddest part of all this is that I noticed you are so close to your interview date and should be head over heels knowing he would be home with you soon. I have to tell you, my husband is Nigerian and we have been living together for almost 6 years here in Ghana together. I have SEEN and HEARD just about everything I ever wish to see or hear about what some people are capable of doing to another for money. Its a hard life here, just like in Nigeria (I've been there twice as well). A lot of men and women will do criminal things here to earn money to eat or provide for their families. I feel bad for them, but at the same time they are preying on my own country men and women when they do it. Before we had internet in our house, we used to go to an internet café a lot to talk to people back home. I saw the lengths to which a young man would go to, and they were so used to seeing me in there, that I guess it didn't phase them or make them want to hide the fact that they were pretending to be a female talking to an American man who was on their computer screen doing some "really gross things"....in front of this young man, and not the hot girl they thought they were talking to.
My point is, this request your husband is asking of you, is classic scam 101. Someone is stealing money from someone's account and wanting to send it to yours (a wire transfer)....OR someone is scamming someone out of their money and in order to make the scam look legit, they are asking the person to wire the money to an American bank account. Sending the money to Nigeria whether it is thru moneygram/ western union or to a Nigerian bank account would never fit into the "story". I'm not saying your husband is the ring leader, but perhaps someone has come to him and said "hey, we know you have a wife in America, if you do this...we will give you a percentage of it". People have pulled my husband to the side on numerous occasions and tried to ask the same thing. He just tells them "no no no". He would NEVER put me in that position not to talk of getting mad at me if I said no.
I understand your husbands frustration, there is money dangling over his head if he can just do this one thing....and that would mean he'd have the money to buy the ticket to come there. But if there is real love there for you, he would NEVER put you in that position. That is something that you really want to take into consideration before you proceed with anything else. At the VERY least, he shouldn't be concocting a story about people owing his sister money, yada yada yada. If he'd lie to you about that, form up a big story about it, risk putting you in jeopardy AND making you feel bad for not giving in, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?