mrs. carey

Imagine a country where an adult woman can be prevented from traveling with a valid visa at the whim of some "counselor". Only in the Philippines. Unbelievable.

Hey - no worries, but - seriously,
ask your Petitioner to
use a telephone,
calling into USCIS, and get a Tier 2 Human, an ISO,
and ask for the expedite.
Getting an ISO is not a trivial thing.

Ok, I'm going to see if I can offend everyone in one post...
All men everywhere will do stupid things for pretty girls. This character flaw isn't exclusive to American men. However, most American men are not as gullible as many Filipinas seem to think they are. In many cases, these guys know darn well that these girls don't really love them. He might only want a sex toy who will treat him like she loves him for a few years. Most of the time, they're just hoping she hangs around and plays nice until he either dies or gets tired of her. Many times these guys go into these relationships knowing that it isn't going to last more than a few years. The sad truth is that many East Asian and Pacific Island girls don't age very well. They're adorable when they're young, but start to deteriorate rapidly when they hit their mid 20's.
...Jim ducks while the Filipinas start throwing kitchen utensils at him...
This isn't really any different from rich old men in the US who marry young trophy wives. These guys know that these girls marry them for their money. As long as the girl acts like his wife then they're generally ok with that. If she does anything to humiliate him, like fooling around on the side, then the relationship is over.
A lot of the men who go to the Philippines are average looking older men with average incomes. These guys wouldn't have a prayer of getting a young trophy wife in the US, but it doesn't take nearly as much to get a young wife in a poor country. There are several reasons this happens a lot in the Philippines. For one thing, the country has a long and sordid history of sex tourism, like many Southeast Asian countries. For another, there's no strong cultural aversion in the Philippines to older men marrying younger women, especially when there's a financial advantage for the bride.
Obviously, the above doesn't apply to everyone. There are many many relationships which are genuine and sincere on both sides. I'm just saying that not all of the guys who are getting played are totally unaware of it. In many cases, they're playing each other.

Provide some of your most recent pay stubs, letter from employer, and tax returns from the last 3 years.
P.S. Love the Joe Dirt pic!

USEM Manila is strict when it comes to the financials. So far I have noticed that it's usually the basis of denials. They do accept co-sponsors and it's a lot better to do it that way if you yourself can't meet the poverty guidelines. But you being unemployed right now might be a problem.

I am sorry I have to air this out, better to say my piece than make myself go nuts with anger.
So I received a message from the admin of the PRETTY LADIES group. Apparently I said something foul to one of the members and that they have blocked me from the group for doing so. (accdg to their guidelines per se) So I replied and copy pasted the wall posts of that said member. I showed the admin how vulgar and tactless this member’s words are. Not everyone wants to know her sexual escapades because some people have morals and values that she clearly is lacking. All I did is rephrase her words and make her realize how foul her mouth is. She prides herself from being an English teacher and a professional but her words and actions make her seem no less than a bar girl. Countless times I have seen her pipe in in conversations and brag about her man’s goodies.
Not only does she have a dirty mind, but she clearly is lacking from common sense. She saw this post in VJ and could not believe that people will speak out about what is really happening. She just thinks someone is out to ruin the group. So she called the people who reprimanded her for being moralists and being self-righteous.
And guess what the admin did? She blocked me from the group. Why? ‘Cause that girl said I was being foul. What is funny is all the words I used, that she thinks is foul, came from the girl herself. It is ridiculous! She got mad because the truth hurts. No matter what explanation I give and evidence to show that all I did is say “no one wants to know that your man is blah blah blah..” I got the boot. Well, it is clear; it’s either they don’t have any common sense or no good grasp of the English language. They only see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear. They twist your words so it ends up wrong and take it way out of context. I showed her the evidences but it fell on deaf ears and blind eyes.
I don’t care that I am no longer in that group. I was gonna leave anyway. I don’t care for all their drama. I just find it REALLY funny that I was there right from the start and this is what I get. We were even the ones who suggested creating a group! All that from a status message here in VJ when someone was out looking for friends. We made it grow, made it fun, made it helpful. It wasn’t a one person team. It was a GROUP effort. The creator of the group wasn’t even there most of the time. Now that it has grown so large, the idea of additional moderators doesn’t seem to be grasped by the group owner. People who dare speak out get booted. Kiss their bum and you are saved. So let the walls be filled with filthy mouths and flaming posts and trolls since simpletons thrive in that environment.
And what conviction do the “moral and self-righteous people” get? Guilty. Judged without trial and removed from the group that they themselves created. It doesn’t matter that you were once friends and that you once helped her.
Oh well, just another day.
Good bye Pretty Ladies. Good bye to all the negativity and drama. I choose to be happy

hi guys! if bickering, vulgarity, drama, and other nonsense topics are not your cup of tea, there is another group where all that are pretty much frowned upon. These are mostly girls originally from PL who wants to have a group just like when PL started. Here you'll find help 24/7 without drama or negativity. It's called Happy Ladies and here's the link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/211136955590279/

You need to be scared. Apparently your husband grew up in an abusive enviroment. If he had jumped right to your defense that would be one thing but you had to tell him.
People that grow up in an abusive enviroment frequently end up being abusive. Him flipping out when you went outside is a bad sign.
These are not normal people to start with but apparently your husband set this thing off with an over reaction to you being outside.
For a short time this seemed like a loving family. beware your husband grew up in this family.
The worst thing you could do right now would be to get pregnant. If he flips out you'll be even more alone than you are now.
Take charge of the birth control and put this guy on probation for a year before you decide to get pregnant.

Darren, I haven't said much yet, but have read all of your threads this past month. As some have said, I think you have a serious lack of ability to express yourself as you mean to. At least, I HOPE that's what it is that's leading to all your woes.
But about the money... it's wonderful that you sent it. And I know full well money doesn't grow on trees. But you sent it. It's gone. The moment it left your bank, it was NO LONGER YOURS, and unless you sent a certain amount of money, with instructions on how to spend it, it's none of your business how it got spent. And since you brought it up first... if you didn't have the money just laying around to throw at the trip, then you could have saved LOT by staying in the US and working. Not only would you have completely eliminated all the SLEC and USEM drama, you would have saved all the costs of YOUR travel, plus you would have a paycheck this week. Not the smartest decision you could have made, considering your dire financial status now.
And another thing... why even mention the PHP160,000 that you have sent? Do you think it matters to anyone here? That is personal business, and you should know better than publish it publicly. And FWIW, considering the amount of time you were sending it, it really isn't all that much. More than they had before, and I am sure it was appreciated by Gretchen's family, but not an amount worthy of bragging about (or complaining about, depending on your point of view) on VJ. If you have it to send, and won't miss it, by all means, share away. But quit trying to make it sound like you are some sort of champ because you did. Most on here do. And even if they send less in total than you, I am sure it is a significant part of ALL their budgets, trying to help out another family halfway around the world.
I understand where you are coming from, saying Gretchen "is yours". While it is a foreign concept to many of us, my Asawa has told me that is how she feels about our relationship... she is "giving herself" to me; she "is mine". But bear in mind that it means more about fidelity, love, honor, and commitment than it does anything physical. As long as the respect, love, & fidelity are given back equally, you will be alright, in spite of how it may sound to some on here. I'm sure if I don't treat her as an equal, she will slap the (insert your favorite expletive here) out of me, and set me straight, or leave me for someone who WILL respect her.
As for the MIL part of it, you have been given some good advice thus far. Namely, like them or not, agree or not, they are now part of your family. And while Gretchen may love you, which I am sure she does, as much as she knows how, remember that she has been loving her mama for 100% of her life, and you only 3.5% of it. Blood/water was mentioned, and is very true. Respect her parents as much as you love Gretchen, and it will prolly work out ok for you. And to help sweet, young Gretchen understand the money situation, a monthly tally of your income and expenditures for the past few months, as well as the future, might help a lot. People who aren't used to the money that Americans "throw around" have virtually no grasp on what bills and such cost over here. A good example was when my fiancee and I were discussing plane fares... Our round trip for two from MNL to TAG is costing me a whole $178. Imagine her surprise to find out that a visit to my parents from Alaska will be more like $800 EACH. Absolutely no frame of reference to someone who has never traveled outside the PI.
Good luck to both of you, you're both gonna need it. And while this piece of advice may seem counter-intuitive, you may wish to seek advice from those that know you better than most on here.
Best wishes to you and Gretchen!

Oh boy...here we go again...
I understand the fact that you're not the most articulate person in the world, but do you think about what you say before you say it???
Some comments you made are very degrading and humiliating. Other comments just contradict themselves.
I believe much of the problems you are experiencing are the same problems YOU created.
Do you really believe this? Even though she may marry you in the near future, you must remember that she'll always have ties to her parents. She probably holds their advice and opinions with very high esteem and respect. That doesn't mean that her parents "control" her, and neither should you. I'm hoping you would want Gretchen to be a successful, independent woman who is capable of making her own intelligent decisions.
I highly doubt both of these claims.
In general, women don't appreciate being treated like #######. They don't like to have their minds made for them. Instead, they prefer to be treated with love, respect and admiration. Putting these qualities into practice helps improves relationships.
Again, contradictions. Is she capable of making her own decisions? Or do those decisions need approval from you first?
It upset you that Gretchen willingly decided to give her mother P6,000? Seriously?
Perhaps if you weren't so controlling and dominating, Gretchen wouldn't feel the need to hide things from you. Have you considered that?
Nope, not in the slightest.
That's not necessarily a good thing.

Sounds like you need to get a second job to accomodate her spending habit.
She is a your common "Gold Digger"
Kick her to the curb, don't let her come to the USA she will break you and put you so far into debt that you will never see daylight again

I remember what it was like. The frustration, the impatience, the concern that I might've missed something out that was needed.
But, here's the rub. Once you (or your fiance(e)) arrive in the US, you/they will miss an equal number of things from home. So, my thoughts to you is to spend the waiting time visiting with friends, family and generally the people that you will miss. Take lots of photos, make special memories and enjoy what you have NOW, because you'll soon be looking back with sadness and loss, instead of missing your fiance(e).
Seriously, life doesn't magically get perfect once you are with your love. It is better to be with them, yes, but you exchange one type of love for another, and that can be equally hard. So, don't take today for granted. Spend it wisely and remember to tell those around you NOW that you love them and value them in your life.

Whining about whining.....CLASSIC!
And who are you to say who God rewards? So self-rightous aren't we?

Not if you speak to them in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. They'll just hang up on you if you try doing that?

congratulations. Tell them to get back to September!!!!

I don't understand how this question can be asked so frequently. The rules of the K1 visa (which should be read and understood before applying) FIRMLY state that the petitioner and beneficiary must get married within 90 days of the beneficiary entering the United States. If you get married BEFORE you get your K1 visa, you no longer have a fiance. You will have a spouse.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Sorry, but I can't take this anymore! My semester ends next week and I graduate on the 15th of April. I want to know when exactly I can see my fiance again before that or else I'll end up being on the computer every single day checking on my case status (and maybe eventually go insane).
Drinking a million glasses of Beam & Coke tonight!

I think you are going to hear from a lot of people -- lawyers are a waste of money... You can complete the entire process yourself... This entire process is easy if you can take your time.. Plus everything you need to know can be found on this WEB site.

In the Philippines your Girl Friend / future wife musts obtain a CENOMAR (Prove in the Philippines that she is single and eligible for marriage) from the Philippine NTS and provide the certificied CENOMAR copy to the NVC or the Embassy. She can not obtain a Cenomar from the NTS if she is married.
If you get married, a copy of the marriage certificate will be forwarded to the NTS and she will no longer be able to obtain a CENOMAR, just a NTS copy of the marriage certificate which you need if you are married for the CR1 process.
The Manila Embassy may also have means that we are not aware of to verify her status. Do not comitt fraud if you want her here.
You can get her here faster using the K1 process. The CR1 process takes on average 10 months before she obtains her visa to come here. 5 months plus at the USCIS and 163 days on average between time the USCIS approves it and she gets an interview, assuming you are quick at getting the papper work in. My wife and I were married last April and we are still waiting on her interview. It has not been scheduled yet.
K1 visa process cost more in the long run but she will have her visa in hand in 8 months on average.
Don't screw it up because you think you are smarter than they are.

Jason, your comments are extremely rude and insensitive. i have no idea how any of this immigration stuff works, and as a wife i am extremely worried about my husband. this is a forum to discuss and ask questions, as i am clueless. it should be understandable if i know nothing, and i dont know where to turn to ask it here... you never know anything until you ask... think before you say things

Yeeeeerrrr...true, true. I do wish VSC continues at its current speed--fingers and everything crossed! I'm gonna have to talk to my future mother-in-law and think things through. She's too excited. I feel so pressured.
Thank you!