candn

Oh puleeze spare me. As a taxpayer, US citizen, and fee payor, I have the right to expect equal service. It has nothing to do with backbone, conviction, blah blah blah. I don't expect to be put on the backburner for an indefinite amount of time nor do I need to "find" another spouse because they are putting emphasis elsewhere. IF everyone was processed equally then you would hear no complaints from me BUT to accept someone to be processed in 10 months and another in 2 months yet pay the same fee is unacceptable. Yes, we can only vote people out of office but the bottom line is I have the RIGHT to say what I want. Patience is nice but so is equitable processing. And for the record, I would live in another country for my fiance if it came to that. The question is would you?

Well, and lets be honest.. there are plenty of people out there who share genetics in a child that dont give a ####### about eachother. Unfortunately (and I know this sounds jaded) but these days having a child, is not "proof of an ongoing relationship".

She could not stay in the US if that is what you are asking; entering with a tourist visa with the intent of immigrating is visa fraud.
Getting married in the USA on a tourist visa is not a problem as such, but you would need to start again with a spousal visa, thus wasting time and money- there is no "transfering" from one visa to another.

The system is too slow and is a bad system. It is a typical Government operation. A few things to keep in mind:
The fees don't even come close to covering the cost of this Government monstrosity. The fees are just to make it look as if they are earning money to help pay the bills. Even if you read some statistic or press release that the fees make the agency self sufficient, don't believe it because the total cost of federal employees is very high and seldom reflected in the statistics (health care for life, early retirement, more than normal vacation and leave etc...)
The immigration process is something Government must do. Not just a “good to have service”. As a citizen I expect and demand that the government administer immigration in an effective and professional manner. Just as I demand adequate defense or roads or whatever else a Government is suppose to do. Immigration is not a service that should be "for profit" or pay for itself. As far as being professional, a long waiting period for me, as a US Citizen to receive permission from the Government to be with my wife of 26 years is disgusting. (Much worse than some TSA people groping others for a few seconds that is in the news now, but nothing in the news about people being abused by the immigration system.) I don't care if they have to increase their manpower by %500 to get the processing time to less than 30 days, DO IT. If we are at war and need 200 more tanks, as a citizen I expect them to buy them. Therefore I expect the government to increase manpower or do whatever it takes to make the immigration process professional, that includes a lot of criteria, but shortened waiting times is a very high priority on that list of criteria. Especially, as an arrogant American, anything else is not acceptable to me, (whether I can do anything about it or not).
So everyone that tries to explain away the long waits, don't. We deserve better and we are being disappointed because nobody cares about people going through the immigration process legally. If we were all illegal from Mexico then all of the Democrats in government would be bending over backwards to make sure we become happy little citizens and democratic voters.

No doubt there a few “bad apples” in every institution! However, it’s not the people as a whole; the real problem remains within the immigration laws itself! There are loads of inconstant double standards and superfluous “Red Tape” relative to certain types of visas. Additionally, you now have congress attempting to pass the immigration “Dream Bill” when they should be reforming and making more rational adjustments to the current immigration laws for legal American citizens. The main reason we have such horrific problems with legal immigration is because such appalling problems with illegal immigrants!

As a taxpaying citizen AND a person who has to pay fees, I don't think we should be pushed to the side as much as we are for other "immigrant" issues. My tax dollars AND extra application fee should give me some say in how things go and as far as training goes: "hogwash". I work in an envirnoment where we train contractual individuals and call them as needed. Train people for emergency situations such as this and quite pushing U.S. citizens to the backburner.

I do feel for you.
While I do understand the cold feet, there are a few things that scare me in the situation the way you describe it.
First, getting cold feet is quite normal/expected up to a point, but it's a completely different thing to question your feelings for your other half over some random acquaintance, also given your relationship background (you said you've broken up before because he wasn't sure about his commitment to your relationship - and then he begged for forgiveness).
With all due respect, your fiance wants to have his cake and eat it. You were absolutely right to make it clear to him that if he decided against marriage at this point he'd never see you again (what would be the point anyway?). To that he showed complete lack of understanding by taking this as an ultimatum on your behalf, when the only thing you're trying to do is save yourself more misery than what he's currently putting you through. He sounds like he wants to have his way no matter what. Even if he decided he didn't want to get married now, he'd want to go on with the relationship until further notice, and you'd have to go along with that in his book. How about your expired visa after 90 days? How about the fact that such a decision on his behalf would nullify your K1 visa and effectively make you illegal if you stayed past the 90 days without marriage and a subsequent AOS? What about the fact that you're giving up your life, family, prospects and career in your home country just to be with him? He doesn't sound like he's taking any of this into account, or your feelings for that matter.
These are my concerns and fears judging on how you described the situation, the background of your relationship and your discussions.
I'll agree with all those who said "get on that plane". Go there and clarify things. Be prepared for everything. If he decides not to get married even after you've talked face to face and spent some time together, stick with your decision to go back home and disappear from his life. At that point you'll know that he'll be nothing more than trouble for you in the future.
If it turns out to be just a very bad case of cold feet that disappears after he sees you, then I wish you every happiness in the future and I hope this crisis brings you closer together and makes you stronger in your marriage.
Let us know how things turn out.

The OP states the relationship has suffered at least twice prior to this incident. So this does not seem like the average case of cold feet to me.
It seems the two families know each other. What part does that play in this situation? It seems like there is something cultural going on.
And I've got news for both the OP and her fiance. Marriage is supposed to last a long time. In that time, you both meet other people who are either attracted to you or to whom you are attracted. It's starry-eyed nonsense to believe that over the course of a lifetime you will only have desire for your partner. But a man (or woman for that matter) who is not mature enough to put their devotion to their spouse over those little fatal attractions will not make a good partner. My initial reaction to the OP's story is that her fiance's ego is so weak that he will (over the course of time) betray their marriage for the attractions of other women. Frankly, having only spent 42 days together, I doubt she knows him well enough to supply the answer. I truly hope he's not the type who wants a woman he can always return to while he dallies with others. Even though this relationship is two years old, it has been fractured by breakups in the past. OP, there are people out there who want a relationship but don't have the nature to keep up their end of the bargain.
I would only urge the OP to come over to the US if she can easily pick up her career and life in case she returns.

First, I am not looking at the negative side of things. I am looking at it from a economic and political viewpoint. I could care less about waiting as I anticipated it BUT there are ways of handling things more efficiently. All my posts are about how things can (and should be) handled differently to provide equitable service to all. Second, maybe the government should operate as a private instiution when it comes to the demand for visas. When there is an increase in visas then increase your staff to address the issue to make your goal. The "they cannot anticipate demand" is a lousy excuse especially when there are so many unemployed citizens. Next, as a taxpayer, fee payor, and US born citizen I expect more from my government regarding fees for service. If I am paying for a service, I expect a service. If I pay my taxes late, I can incur a penalty. If they process late, then I have the right to question why I am paying for less than I receive. It may or may not do any good but I do have the RIGHT to state what I feel about it. Why should someone that has a clean record and clearcut case wait months NOT because they have issues with their case but because they are sitting on a shelf somewhere????? It only take 15 or so minutes to adjudicate a file that is complete and problem-free. Finally I am not lucky to be eligible to apply for citizenship as I already have it. I am speaking from a processing standpoint and as the petitioner. My fiance and I already said it's not about the citizenship, it's about the being together so if he can't come here, I will go there. It would be nice for him to come here but it's not all about obtaining American citizenship as much as two people in love being together.
I am not unsympathetic to the USCIS adjudicators but I will not sit here and remotely pretend to think this process is the best. Thank you for showing the other side of the picture.

Guys, the issue is about the process or wait not about each other. Ricardo4eva can relate and pass on some knowledge because he has been through the process and is still going through the process for more than one person. It's not about what type of visa in this case because he has been waiting just like the rest of us. Ygr is venting because of the uncertainties at the CSC. That's enough to drive anyone to the point of no return. Let's not turn on one another. This is a community meant to help and share experiences.

Guys, the issue is about the process or wait not about each other. Ricardo4eva can relate and pass on some knowledge because he has been through the process and is still going through the process for more than one person. It's not about what type of visa in this case because he has been waiting just like the rest of us. Ygr is venting because of the uncertainties at the CSC. That's enough to drive anyone to the point of no return. Let's not turn on one another. This is a community meant to help and share experiences.

Guys, the issue is about the process or wait not about each other. Ricardo4eva can relate and pass on some knowledge because he has been through the process and is still going through the process for more than one person. It's not about what type of visa in this case because he has been waiting just like the rest of us. Ygr is venting because of the uncertainties at the CSC. That's enough to drive anyone to the point of no return. Let's not turn on one another. This is a community meant to help and share experiences.

Yea, I am with you. I expected something like this to happen so I planned for a summer wedding. My problem is NOT the time involved waiting. My problem is the inconsistent way in which the USCIS processes packets. It creates a disparity with regards to fees and allocations for all parties involved. I am not looking at it from a standpoint of just me and my fiance. I am looking at the overall adjudication process. To juggle adjudicators around from one group to another is never going to create an efficient operation. To charge everyone the same for unequal service, is an inequity (my apologies to anyone who feels it isn't). You are asking everyone to pay the same amount yet you processing them differently is a disservice and unacceptable for a government entity. That's like charging everyone the same amount of tax dollars for police protection and protecting some immediately but then telling others you will have to wait for us to get to you because we are short on bullets.

I was thinking the same thing I also was thinking that response from the OP was uncalled for.

I was thinking the same thing I also was thinking that response from the OP was uncalled for.

I was thinking the same thing I also was thinking that response from the OP was uncalled for.

I was thinking the same thing I also was thinking that response from the OP was uncalled for.

The response is normal because it is correct. You mentioned abuse no where in your original post. I was simple and polite in my answer to your question. If you want a different answer perhaps you should ask a different question.

I was thinking the same thing I also was thinking that response from the OP was uncalled for.

Ok so you got your NOA2 in 2 months so I guess it is easier for you to say that. Although I agree with you, I believe if you were waiting as long as we all are just for the NOA2 you would feel the same way.

Bottom line, if it's part of the processing routine then we all need to go with it... If Agnes really wants to be a part of the United States of America then she needs to play by the rules.
If she is not into it and wants to throw a hissy fit then stay home in Luxembourg!
Knowing that she is a part of the medical community is totally invalid in this case. Rules are rules and they apply to anyone going thru this process -your profession does not make you exempt.
For whatever reason, the US is not interested in your DNA test. For whatever reason, they rely on a physical exam. So Agnes should stop with the self-righteous attitude because she is a medical *professional* and stop with trying to pull rank above the Government and the rules that they have in place. What if patients in your field protested and disagreed with certain procedures that take place? What happens then? Either they are denied service, or delays take place. OR if it is in a public space and the patient throws a tantrum about what they deem to be fit or not, then security is called to remove them from the premises.
Agnes - you do not write the rules of immigration... keep that in mind.

Much ado about nothing. They may NOT even want to look at your nether regions. I think you are working yourself up for nothing at this point. IF they do decide to give you such an exam, you have the right to decline. It makes no difference to the doctor one way or the other. He or she is not the one trying to get to the U.S.

Much ado about nothing. They may NOT even want to look at your nether regions. I think you are working yourself up for nothing at this point. IF they do decide to give you such an exam, you have the right to decline. It makes no difference to the doctor one way or the other. He or she is not the one trying to get to the U.S.

I see because all news which is concurring on the same topics with the same fact and issues no matter where comes from now is misled and uninformed; In your opinion.
I agree there are hates sites out there but their not the only ones with news and it seems alot of the news has the same information but from different sources.
I agree you know more about Islam than I do.
The terroist are winnig because the People of the Islamic let them carry out the acts of terror in the name of their religeon killing all Muslim and non alike.
So tell us how a good man of the Islamic faith decries Terroism in the name of his faith?
And if there are so many tell us why it is only a few that speak out.

Actually the reason they are in discussion is because of their actions. People are not just randomly bringing up death to Islam or death to Imam threads now are they.
What many with Islamic beliefs or spouses that are Islamic are doing is denying there is even a problem.