Myopia

1. The Pakistani Marriage is invalid for immigration purposes.
You can not use the date of marriage for immigration purposes.
You can not legally marry your wife under us law (that you are subject to) until your current marriage is dissolved.
The USCIS will not recognize your marriage in Pakistan because even if you argue that it is legal at the time that it was conducted in Pakistan, it directly contradicts US public policy and it will not be recognized.
2. The Pakistani marriage is a void marriage to the USCIS.
3. The US doesnt recognize unconsummated proxy marriages. There was a law specially created for the japanese widow of a fallen soldier but this law is specific and wont apply to you.
You can marry her by proxy and file for a K1 visa. This is acceptable.
4. As the subsequent marriage is void then you will have to remarry her again. How that is done in Pakistan with the legal documents that you already have is up to the Pakistani process.

He will not lose his green card if the marriage was in good faith.
He can file for divorce and then file a waiver when it is time to remove conditions.
As long as the marriage was legit then there is no reason that he will have a problem removing conditions.
To the OP--let her be the one to file.

I wondered why you stated her adult child died as if being that the child was an adult that she would find it easier.
It is not easy to lose a child at any age. No one expects to outlive their children and she may be having a tough time with it. The behavior that she is displaying points to that. She needs some type of counselling.
Thats all.

I wondered why you stated her adult child died as if being that the child was an adult that she would find it easier.
It is not easy to lose a child at any age. No one expects to outlive their children and she may be having a tough time with it. The behavior that she is displaying points to that. She needs some type of counselling.
Thats all.

Sounds like a nightmare. Just going to throw this out there: There are mental illnesses that often go hand in hand with substance abuse or full-blown addiction. It's entirely possible that there's an underlying mental illness causing all this drama/drinking that hasn't been diagnosed.

As a recovering alcoholic, I agree that she probably needs a 3 month in-patient treatment plan (in my case, I needed a couple of treatments before I finally "got it"). It's not something that can easily be "willed" away. Only she can make the decision to get help, and I hope that will be the case. Good luck bro.

USCIS cannot and will not give you legal advice. I would not be doing anything to put her on their radar at the current time.

The current thought about addiction as far as I understand is that it is not something you can just stop because you want to. So even if she knows she has a problem it is not a matter of "wanting it enough." Instead, she is incapable of controlling whatever aspects of her life that are in disarray and will always return to alcohol. In treatment, she would get full time help to address these issues and the underlying causes, and explore her relationship with alcohol and the outside world.
I highly suggest that you get her treatment instead of just leaving her to own devices and trying to have her go cold turkey on her own.
Covering up for her is called "enabling" and often required outside help too.

AOSing from a tourist or VWP entry riles up a lot of people on this site because there's often a suspicion that the poster is not telling the truth about intent. (not talking about the OP specifically)
I think it's because if you are the type of person who plans ahead, puts time and effort into research and is methodical about your goals etc, you can't understand or believe the mindset of those who genuinely do just 'decide to get married, and emigrate permanently' on the spur of the moment'
It doesn't mean those people are not genuine it's just so hard to understand how it happens.
So for example I dated my husband long distance between the US and the UK for three years before we got married - it then took another 16 months to get the spousal visa and emigrate.
Each year we were together I flew over to the US about 5 times - so that was about 15 trips where I could have 'decided to stay on the spur of the moment' but I could not have done that in a million years. I had a great job I needed to exit properly to retain good references and credentials within my industry, I needed to wrap up my living situation and deal with all my belongings, and most importantly I needed to say proper goodbyes to friends and prepare my close family for my departure etc.

People who married abroad can file AOS if they find themselves in the right situation.
Why can't everyone just come and AOS? National security is an issue. I don't want criminals to come here, do you? Some people can't get visas, and some, though not all, are for good reasons.

I agree 200% with Boiler and The Maven (100% each) that the law as written allows for legal AOS from a visitor visa/VWP under appropriate and specific circumstances, and thus exercising this process as designed, is NOT a loophole. The challenge is effectively enforcing the law simply because a key condition for eligibility is the intent of the visitor - an intangible commodity. However, just because the law is challenging to enforce or can be broken does not mean the law itself has a loophole.
The VJ community does an incredible job of helping people navigate the complex legal process of immigration; we should focus on helping people through this process, and this sometimes includes alerting someone that they may be (unwittingly or not) taking a path that either breaks the law or may introduce legal scrutiny or other heartache. We do this very well.
On the other hand, we should try our best as a community to avoid speculating (or inviting speculation) whether or not someone's intent is to defraud the system, particularly if they have already clearly stated their intent and as long as their back story corroborates this. Shouldn't determining intent be the adjudicators' job, not VJ's?? Likewise, we shouldn't place value judgments on a fellow member's legal path to immigration, even if it allows them to have a shorter visa journey than ours. We all want our loved ones here with us as soon as possible.
Let's help the OP determine his best course of action, then let our fine United States officials make the judgment calls.

Seriously. How many times does it need to be said.
It is not a loophole. It is a valid path for some under specific circumstances. I feel like we are having some sort of communication breakdown about what the term "loophole" implies. A loophole implies a gap in the immigration regulations that may be exploited (or, for a less emotive term, utilised) by a party to achieve their specific end whilst still being technically legal. There is no gap here. There is a valid and specified path for situations such as the OP's that has been spelled out clearly.

On the page you linked to;
Same-sex marriages are not recognized by immigration law for the purpose of immigrating to the U.S. Maybe they haven't updated the site yet.

Not true. DOMA was struck down yesterday. Same sex marriage that has taken place in a state/country in which it is legal is now recognized by the federal government for immigration purposes among about 1000 other things :-)

Ok, the reason I asked that question...in March when you filed your "most recent tax return " was 2011 because 2012 was not due yet. If you didn't file a tax return and had a valid reason (didn't earn enough to file) you should have written a statement telling your exact income and that it was below the level that the IRS has set for filing. As the sponsor, you have to send either:

A tax return, OR
A statement why the IRS did not require you to file.

It seems like you sent neither so, that's one RFE.
You have a joint sponsor. If you read the instructions carefully, the sponsor must be a US citizen or permanent resident. Your Dad's birth certificate will show he was born in the US and thus a citizen. Another RFE fixed.
Today is the filing deadline for 2012 taxes. You can't fix the RFE with what was valid when you originally signed and submitted the I-864. Too late to get by on 2011 and a statement of not filing since we have reached April 15--Tax Day. So you have a 2012 return but you don't understand taxes very well and filed as single. The USCIS isn't so bothered with if you filed correctly or not and aren't in the business of reporting to the IRS they think you made a mistake. They may glance at your income and move on to your joint sponsor as long as they have a tax return from you. Or they may look at it and wonder why you filed single when you are a married woman trying to prove a valid marriage. I lean toward them not noticing how you filed, but they got a tax return from you. BUT---you have the added problem of filing from visa waiver.
If you don't get this RFE correct, they will not be able to approve, so their only choice is denial. There is NO APPEAL when you are on visa waiver. He has over-stayed more than a year. He goes home. He may have a 10 year ban. I'm not actually aware of how that works. AOS from visa waiver sounds pretty cool, but when it goes bad, it go very bad.
So your taxes. You could have filed Married Filing Jointly but he would need an ITIN number or a SSN. ITIN takes a while to receive and requires mailing off his passport as proof of identity. At this point, if you want to correct your return and get out of your mess, I would file Married Filing Separately. you might can pull this off yourself. I hope you have a printout of your current filing. Go back online and change your return to get new calculations. Sign up under a different name if you want to retain both versions. Do your taxes the same but with Married Filing Separately. All the calculations will be different. You don't actually file that new one but you need the calculation from it.
What you file is Form 1040X. There are INSTRUCTIONS for it.
Fill in name, address at the top and notice the filing status line below that. Married Filing Separately. If you look at the form, there are columns that are basically showing old filing / corrected filing and the difference. You use your old and that new version you did to complete the colums The only line that will change for you is Line 6 tax and then either the refund line or what you owe line. I actually dont think even that will change. You can print the form out and work on it in pencil. Read the instructions. If it say subtract line a from line b, then use your calculator and do the math. When you have it right. Use the online PDF and fill out on your computer and print some copies. Sign one and mail it the old fashion way to the IRS. The address for amended returns will be in the instructions.
Sign another and use it as part of your RFE response. If you can't pull it off by yourself, then go pay H&R Block to do it for you. The change you are making is very small and you probably don't need an extension. If you don't owe money they aren't so bother if it's not postmarked by midnight.
Edit to add: don't forget part 3 where you explain why the amended return. Explain you were married in 2012 and filed single in error.

Patience.
Getting yourself worked up is not going to help. You are premature with the writ of mandamus. If you want the US government to hurry up and act without fully running a complete background check, prepare to be be denied.
Immigration is a privilege, not a right for a foreigner.
Play this dangerous game if you want, it's going to bite you in the end.
Patience.
Getting yourself worked up is not going to help. You are premature with the writ of mandamus. If you want the US government to hurry up and act without fully running a complete background check, prepare to be be denied.
Immigration is a privilege, not a right for a foreigner.
Play this dangerous game if you want, it's going to bite you in the end.

Dude, you are in AP. Your interview was ONE month ago. You need to relax. Your urgency says a lot about your case, IMHO.

My wife and I are dealing with the same thing..
Her daughter is in Colombia, and has a very good father who she loves and he loves her.. So, we have no easy solution.. For us, my wife splits her time between Colombia and here.. 1-2 months at a time in Colombia 4-5 times per year.. Clearly it makes life very challenging.. She obviously cant work, because she isn't here long enough to settle into a job and cant work there for the same reason..
So, we do the best we can..

It looks like you have been given some mis-information.
Firstly, intent alone cannot be the basis of an AOS denial-- there needs to be other factors involved. Many, many people adjust their status successfully from a B2 visa or even the VWP.
Simply file the I-130/AOS package. Once you file the package, your spouse enters a new status commonly referred to as "pending status" which is a legal status under the color of US law and no lawful presence or overstay is incurred while your case is adjudicated.

Oh, the irony.

ohhhhh man! otra vez, this is soooo "Maury Povich"...
1st problem, somebody jumps on here with a 3 line dramatic and intense "opener", but very little facts, then disappears..
2nd Everyone offers dangerous life-changing advise and cant possible know the root cause..
Just love how this becomes like the Maury Povich Show..
My advise,
DONT SEEK RELATIONSHIP ADVISE ON THE INTERNET !!!!
Talk with someone that knows and cares about the both of you.. regardless where that takes you, its a zillion times safer than the internet...
Seriously VJ, stop with the dangerous advise.. These people are vulnerable and can actually follow your suggestions without realizing its unqualified.. Their problems, can be any range from of seriousness, but we really cant tell..
If the questions relates to Immigration, for example, "my wife came here stole my toothbrush and left with my 72 chevy, how do I file the AOS?" then maybe we can answer answer.. and possibly, offer advise about AOS
Remember, the gain to be had with VJ is about Immigration Help.. Not how to save or destroy a relationship..

I'm 9 years older than my husband and I've never been embarrassed about it. I just say "way to go, me!"

I hope I misunderstood you.
Your new wife wants you to give up custody of your two young boys, because she wants her own? Great. Tell her to go find a guy who doesn't have children. I hope you're not even considering this. Put her on the first plane back.
Do you have any idea the damage it would do to your boys if you ship them off, essentially reject them, in favor of "new" kids? You can't do that to them. If she doesn't want your boys then she doesn't want you. End this before she gets pregnant. She will never treat your boys like her own. Don't hurt them that way, please.

I am sorry about the situation but no woman/man is worth giving up your kids. That is selfish of her to ask.