leahandlucas

Demands?....damn...just file for an annulment, and then have her served at the address you believe she is at, and then call USCIS and tell them you are not continuing with the AOS part.
Basic,...is that a good enough "demand" for you?...

This post makes me aware how old and old-fashioned I personally am. I would not even consider an intimate relationship with a married woman, as I consider adultery not a desirable trait for any spouse. That in turn prevents me from such unfortunate experiences and protects me from husbands who may not find it funny that I'm making out with their lawfully wedded wife.
But that's just me.

The process will not speed up if privatized, because as a rule corporations in the US attempt to achieve higher profits by lowering their universally largest expense, labor. The reason it takes 5 months from file to embassy is a 5 month pile of files on their desks waiting to be worked. What they need, in an ideal world, is more labor not less.
Also, keeping the profit motive from the award of a visa is a great thing. Can you imagine how much corruption would creep in if the company running it was paid on the number of Visas processed? Osama bin Laden would probably have gotten one. Just look at the privatization of prisons. In one case from the top of my head, the CEO of the prison company paid a judge to send him more prisoners, people who would otherwise have gotten fines suddenly started going to jail.
The reason the US Visa process is above reproach is strict ethical guidelines and no profit motive. If you want it to move faster, lobby your Senator and Congressmen to increase the NVC, USCIS, FBI, etc. budgets. Until then, wait in line like everyone else.
IMHO

Wrong. The USCIS is almost entirely self sufficient in its funding. The fees that are paid with visa petitions fund the USCIS operations. There are some (but very few) fees (such as for military naturalizations) that are paid by the US government.
For a more detailed discussion, see: http://www.policyarchive.org/handle/10207/bitstreams/19491.pdf
Some people think (due to ideological reasons) that privatization of government services is a good thing in and of itself. The reality is that there have been some successes (think airfares) and some failures (most notably prisons). Fees would probably increase substantially in order to pay for company profits, and there are national security issues. Seems to me it would be penny wise and pound foolish to try to privatize such an important function that is probably best left centralized and under direct government control.
Just my two cents...

Given your experience at the ROC stage where you almost were deported when USCIS didn't believe your marriage wasn't genuine and took it all the way to the court (which is in your A-file!), it would be Russian Roulette if you now were to pretend again that your marriage is healthy even though you just stated publically that it is not. Even if your wife cooperates now, it still would be fraud and can haunt you for the rest of your life. If your wife wants to hurt you later on, all she has to do is come clean and confess and your naturalization will be declared void, like it never happened. Not worth the risk.
Unless you want to risk immigration suicide, I strongly advise you to wait with the N-400 until you have been a resident for 5 years.

Suffer like hell but forgive him?...when someone's cheated to that extent, the trust is basically all but truly gone forever, because there will always be that suspicion in the back of your mind (for some people)
And him having a kid by his ex will be a constant reminder of what happened. No that its the childs fault, but just the whole situation is sad.
OP...divorce him...move on....God bless you and your baby

Yeah, and unfortunately some "ex's" never seem to be able to keep out either...so sometimes life actually doesn't go on...

After reading your posts it sounds as if your wife planned on coming to the US and then divorcing you and filing to have her ex-husband immigrate to the US in the future. If your wife said that the ex did not visit the daughter much but was in the picture while you were there, something is up! I hope I'm wrong for your sake.

Au contraire! Though this is primarily a self-help website, when someone has a difficult immigration situation then the people on this forum regularly advise the counsel of a good immigration attorney. This is sound advice!
I would suggest one additional proviso: Be a very proactive client. Tell your attorney everything - and I mean everything - about your situation. A lawyer's guidance can change dramatically based on tiny but critical tidbits of information. It also infuriates them if they get hit with a surprise that their client knew all along. In addition, educate yourself as much as possible about the relevant laws. At every step of the way, you should know exactly what you're attorney is doing and why they are doing it. If something doesn't seem right then confront them on it, and make sure you agree with them before they proceed. Also, insist on reviewing any document or form they plan to submit before they submit it. You know the facts about your case better than they do, so you must help insure they get the details right.
Finally, expect that an attorney is going to blow a little smoke up your tailpipe. An attorney will frequently try to give you hope when there is none because, frankly, a client in trouble is their best source of revenue.

facebook is a great thing isn't it?

Well, hello Rob C - no reason to make up another identity on the forum: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/292042-divorce-while-cr1/
I see in this topic you neglect to mention meeting a girl (at school?) while at your MBA program?

LOOK for the MILLIONTH TIME. If YOU YOURSELF KNOW that you have OVERSTAYED 3 MONTHS even if it was to tie up loose ends, you will need a B1/B2 visa PERIOD. It DOESNT MATTER if you are from Singapore...thats the LEAST of their worries. THEIR worry would be if you overstayed. FILL OUT the ESTA form and then SEE if you need a B1/B2 visa
Its like you keep wanting us all here to tell you what you would LIKE to hear and not what you NEED to hear...

You've gotten the right advice. Pull the affidavit of support. File for the divorce and restraining order. Move out of the house. Report to USCIS and ICE. etc. etc.
On TOP of that - get a gun. Your life has been threatened. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you need to protect yourself and you are not able to. If you don't live in a Wisconsin or Illinois, get a conceal carry permit, as well. I would personally rather have to answer police questions about shooting a tattooed gangster than to have my family have to attend my funeral.

Here's the cool bit -
there's been no interview scheduled for the AOS case yet, and/or she's not received the greencard yet.
SO..............
write yer local USCIS office, where an interview MIGHT occur, and in the letter,
withdraw the I-864, Affadavit of Support.
Send a CC of this letter to:
--USCIS address where you sent the original I-864
--local ICE office
Then go file for divorce (you can do this, not need any lawyer) with a protection order added at the same time.
then once you file, and have receipt in hand, and protection order in HER hand -
MOVE whilst she's outside working, change the locks, and have the sherrif supervise her moving out of the house (since there's a protective order in place)
Change yer numbers on everything.
Then lease out yer house.
Figure about 3 months from the time you send off the letters to ICE to the time ICE interviews her.
Be absent those 3 months from her mileau (sp?)
I know one bit will be hard, about yer schooling, as she knows and her family knows WHERE that school is. File police report on the cousin asap, and make sure the campus police KNOW about the police report that you've filed, as well.
I do suggest filing a seperate protective order ON the cousin, at same day that you file for divorce.
Whew !
---- edited to add
Now - if time and timing are amiss, and the interview actually occurs - YOU should SHOW UP at the appointed date and time, bring the divorce decree filing, the two protective orders, any ICE correspondence, and tell the Immigration Officer that
--after you filed, you learned that the marriage was solely for immigration benefits and
--you've since filed for divorce and
--you withdraw your affadavit of support, the I-864, right then and there.
Things will go quick after that.
----
Good Luck !

My answer to the title of this thread is DON'T.
If there's been no infidelity, don't divorce her and don't ship her back to her country. I'm basing what I write next on this one post, assuming a few things. Forgive me if my assumptions are in error.
"For better or for worse." To be quite honest, I think you're being lazy about fixing your marriage. You should not get married unless you love the person enough to go to the ends of the earth for them. You haven't reached the ends of the earth yet. If she actually thinks you've cheated on her and still is with you, she may be enduring immense emotional pain just because she loves you enough to stay with you even through the "cheating" she imagines. She might not actually think you're cheating on her, but could just be very angry about the past infidelities and is taking that out on you. Yes, that is unjust, but you can handle it and help her get over what they did.
So why, you might ask, do I say you're being lazy? There is more you can do to assure her that you are not cheating. It may not be as easy as a long drawn out quarrel (which isn't easy). But, it's not impossible. Show her that you're willing to do anything to earn her trust. Stop watching TV, and she can no longer accuse you of lusting over the ladies on the screen. Really, if you're not willing/able to give up TV for her, how much do you actually love her? When she's not angry, you need to tell her you love her very much and ask what you can do to assure her that you're not like those other guys, that you're not cheating on her. If what she says is possible at all, do it. You could get another job, or build a work-from-home career (I can help with that if you're interested). Maybe your line of work is such that she could visit you at work. Or maybe you could send her a picture of yourself from your cell phone every 30 minutes. Yes, this could be called ridiculous. This is the "for worse" part that you signed up for.
Are you ever going anywhere without her? (aside from work) Don't. If you're going "out with the guys", then put that on hold until your marriage is in tip-top shape. Get joined at the hip and go everywhere together. It might end up that you have to remain this way to keep your marriage in good shape, but the results will be low stress and high happiness.
If you're both seeing the counselor together, maybe it's time for a different counselor. If it's only her, it's possible you got a really bad one who is only making things worse (I know people who have actually had malicious marriage counselors who work to destroy their marriage). Try another one, and don't just grab one out of the phone book.
Try not to yell. I don't know if you are, but most people seem to yell in heated arguments. So, try not to yell anymore. Be calm in tone and word choice, even if she's screaming at you. Be solemn (don't just act it, be it), yet caring. Don't say hurtful things to her, even if they're true, and even if she's saying hurtful things to you. Also remember that it takes two people to argue. Don't let yourself be the one to start any argument. And, if the apparent topic of the argument is not a giant issue, don't argue about it. "Yes, dear", "Okay honey", and "I'm sorry", are phrases you should become intimate with, but not with any sarcasm.
Get this book. Read it, and ask her to read it as well.
Finally, my signature contains tidbits that are good for life in general, including marriage.

A disturbing number of people seem drawn to marriages to immigrants because they believe that the whole immigration issue gives them a power advantage in the marriage. And during the engagement, it does.
But guess what? Once that 2-year green card was issued, your power differential evaporated.
There is NO WAY, after the 2 year card is granted, that you can "kick [someone] out of the country". Period. And any serious attempt you make to do so can be reversed back onto you, kung-fu-style, and used by them as proof of abuse, which only increases their independence from you, immigration-wise.
Even if you were to refuse to cosign her removal of conditions, she could simply initiate divorce and do it herself. You have no legal ability to coercively remove her PR status at all.
And frankly, a competent lawyer could probably use your initial post as the centrepiece of a reasonably convincing VAWA petition. Abandoning, or attempting to abandon your spouse in a foreign country isn't going to be looked upon kindly by any USCIS adjudicator, divorce judge, or decent human being.

My answer will not help a bit. But my silly opinion is "as long that she does not cheat on me or I cheat on her" divorce is out of the question. Any small argument I will take as business as usual..kiss and make up

Hmmmm...i dont know what to tell you...but maybe there's more to the story than what he is telling you...or maybe you's both have had stress/arguements lately due to the whole distance thing...
If its not the whole distance thing,...then something has happened on his end,that he has not told you because you said that you yourself do not even know.
So i hope that he will at least to the RIGHT thing and be HONEST with you so you can have some peace of mind,heart and tranqulity

Amen,amen and amen...correct
Get rid of her, PULL THE AFFIDAVIT..let her figure out the rest, she won't be able to because she can only AOS through YOU.....DONT do her the favor...
Think about it....WHY stay with her...when theres MILLIONS more out there in this big world that will actually treat you with the love and respect you deserve

Amen,amen and amen...correct
Get rid of her, PULL THE AFFIDAVIT..let her figure out the rest, she won't be able to because she can only AOS through YOU.....DONT do her the favor...
Think about it....WHY stay with her...when theres MILLIONS more out there in this big world that will actually treat you with the love and respect you deserve

Wonderful piece of information....GREAT contribution...you have definately brought up some great points of interest....
Its amazing because we as humans usually never take an interest in a particular part of something, until it happens to us personally....