Christi and Ian

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but when we were waiting for approval after getting married, it took longer than the processing time so I contacted both of my state's senators and received canned responses from their offices.  I walked into my congress-woman's local office and spoke to her staff, and they were on the case within hours - we were approved 2 days later.

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but when we were waiting for approval after getting married, it took longer than the processing time so I contacted both of my state's senators and received canned responses from their offices.  I walked into my congress-woman's local office and spoke to her staff, and they were on the case within hours - we were approved 2 days later.

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but when we were waiting for approval after getting married, it took longer than the processing time so I contacted both of my state's senators and received canned responses from their offices.  I walked into my congress-woman's local office and spoke to her staff, and they were on the case within hours - we were approved 2 days later.

Hello!Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! Wish you good luck and get it sooner than you expect!

why would you wait?
gonna take about a year to get to the interview and you'll have amended returns by then
send in what u have now and take the amended ones to interview

Disagreeing with the way your government is handeling something is a long way from boo-hooing and baing a "crybaby". And for those "acting like we are such a law-abiding crowd" it's called "benefit of the doubt". This is a web forum, not the USCIS. If someone says they are on the up and up here, what does it behoove me to assume they are a liar? I agree that people brought here as children deserve a way to make themselves legal. But they reneged on the initial assertion that they would backlog them until the fees collected allowed the necessary expansion. I'll leave whether that was due to pressure in election season or not up to people who care more about debating politics. Point is, things are slowING (not at bottom yet). Not crying about it, but not doing a cartwheel and 3 cheers over it either.

Did anyone notice Onama's comments in his speech yesterday where he said that all of the immigrants who qualify for the Dream Act will have to wait their turn in the immigration process so as not to penalize those of us that already have cases pending. So did Obama lie?
*Obama...sorry, typing from an iPhone.

I am sorry that this has happened to you. Everything that has been written here has merrit, so I will not repeat what has all ready been said. You only know your relationship, and only you know your wife. You have to make the decision that is best for you. Only you know what that is. I am writing you this post to offer one piece of advise. You are confused and hurting right now. You may not be using your best judgement right now. Be careful who you share your situation with. If your start telling your family and friends and her family and friends that your wife cheated on you, it will be VERY difficult later to have a successful relationship with her if you decide to forgive her.
Your family and friends will never look at her the same way again. This can put a great strain on already damaged relationship. Try and keep things to yourself until you decide what to do. If you need to talk to someone try to keep it to only one or two trusted family members/friends, or a professional therapist. I wish you all the best.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I am so sorry to hear this, I can only imagine how much your heart hurts right now. There are a lot of stories of marriages that have survived infidelity, and they have a few things in common; the one who cheated accepts responsibility for their actions, the one who cheated accepts that their partner is going to be extremely hurt and mistrustful for a while, and they understand and accept the consequences of that, and they talk about what they are missing in their marriage and take steps to remedy that.
For you, this is happening right now, in real time. For her, this happened a while ago. She may not understand that to you it feels like she is cheating on you right now, when she thinks it's over, it's no longer happening, problem solved. It doesn't bode weel that rather than taking all of the responsibility, she chose to blame you for not being sweet enough to her during your separation. She is being defensive, and trying to push some of the blame on you so that she doesn't have to feel as guilty. Her reaction is immature.
That said, you have an enormous investment in her, and she really is so lucky to have someone who loves her so much. You are not going to get over this soon. You might never get ove it. Only time will tell. I agree with The Maven in that you should not make any rash decisions. You need time to heal a bit before you can even discuss her infidelity with a bit less emotion, it could take a week, a month, or longer. When you come to that point, then talk to her. If she still tries to push off the blame, then perhaps counseling is in order, depending on how invested you both are in staying together.
Is she regretful? Is she tearful? Does she want to resolve this as much as you do, or is she quick to say, "I'm going to spend the night somewhere else"?
Only time will heal the wounds, unfortunately, and the deeper the wound, the more time it takes to heal. My suggestion is to take the job offer, move out if you must, even if it's just into a guest room, and work on the friendship, respect and love you felt for each other at the beginning. If it works out, you two can survive anything. If it doesn't, you will be in a much better place emotionally and financially to make the decision about where you want to be.
I really, honestly hope it all works out for you. She is so lucky to have someone that loves her so much. The key will be whether or not she realizes just how lucky she is, and is willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage done.

I'm not educated on this issue by any means, and I admit that I have not read every single post, but might I suggest that if you plan on staying with her until ROC is due, that you get a camera system installed so that you have evidence to refute any VAWA attempt?

I'm not educated on this issue by any means, and I admit that I have not read every single post, but might I suggest that if you plan on staying with her until ROC is due, that you get a camera system installed so that you have evidence to refute any VAWA attempt?

I voted "Could care less", but actually, I could NOT care less.

I voted "Could care less", but actually, I could NOT care less.

You can drive with your GB drivers license, legally, in the US, while you wait for your SS to be changed. If your husband does not want you driving his car for insurance purposes, you can always rent a car, where they will take your GB permit and charge you for insurance so you can drive legally.
IMHO the easiest way to settle down in a new place is not settling down at all. I mean, try and adapt certain aspects of your everyday life here as you did back home. Dont sweat over the stuff that will be lost in translation or that cannot be adapted. Life will take care of you when you can't take care of life.
I wish you well in your new country!

Unless you have some kind of unusually difficult situation, you can do without the lawyer.
If you can read and follow instructions the lawyers are basically just good at depleting your money IMO.
As far as the K1. That is visa you guys to marry in USA. Cr1 is visa you apply for if you marry there, then file
Good luck
Grats

Welcome! Definitely read the K-1 flowchart so you'll have an idea of the overall process. In a few months, have your fiancé order the police certificate. (It's good for a year.) Also, be sure to take a look at the required vaccinations and have him visit his GP to get them in advance of the visa-related medical exam. Last, but not least, join us in the UK subforum. There are some great pinned threads on the post-NOA2 process for K-1s.