Nutty

Hello,

i finaly arived in US on marth 23, but my trip was wery bad. It took me two days.

I had my flight from Belgrade to Frankfurt on marth 22 at noon. I arived in Frankfurt at 2:00PM. My next flight to San Francisco soposed to be in 4:25h bat tha plain was broken and the flight is canseled unthil the next day at 9:00AM. People from United Airlines told as that we all have free reservations at the Serathon hotel in Frankfurt and those who need tranzit visa for Germany should wait for a while and they will give as a one day visa. After couple hours lady from United Airlines told as that she can't help as and these no visa for as. I was with more five people from Serbia and we are all Serbian Citizens and nobody get the visa. I was askin around and I heard that they should give as are visas and that United Airlines are responsible for that. But no, ewerybody else was in Sheraton and we was left at the airport. They didn't help as at all and also they ####### wery rude to as.

We spend the night at the airport chers and in the morning we hope we will have flight at the 9:00AM, but it was in 11:00AM. It was wery hard and humiliated experinece. We wait for more then 18 hours.

When I finaly arived to US, my fiance call the United Airlines and they agree to give as a 130$ and we took that as an a insult. Whe tell them that whe deserve more than that and they told as to whrite them a letter with are request and they will response in a 30 days.

Now I don't know what should I whrite?

What cind a request was reasonable to them and to as?

Dhoes anybody ever have this cind of experience?

Is they any worth to do this?

I apologize becouse my bad english and I hope sombady will answer to me!

Thank you

Be happy you got $130.00. Many people usually don't get anything when the weather is involved and planes are cancelled. It is probably the equal amount to one night hotel cost for Frankfurt. In life, you should pick and choose your battles. Is this one situation where you want to expend more effort?

Sorry to hear about the way things are going with you.

A 6 month seperation is not a bad idea in that it could give you and your husband some time ALONE to reflect on how you want to proceed. Maybe he will change for the better and maybe you will decided to give another chance (depending on how many chances you have already given to him) - or - go ahead and divorce.

Since this marriage was entered into with honest intentions, there is no issue of marriage fraud.

Well, good news people!

The company called my husband again and said for him to come back next Friday. They are willing to arrange for him to use a company car. (but that it would cost $350.00 per month???). That is a bit too high for us and we are working on another solution for a car.

PS....

Getting regular daily exercise, eating healthy are very good for improving mood.

Anti depressent pills can help. But there are many to choose from and getting the correct dosage which works best for you takes time. There are also some side effects you may not like that come with these medicines.

Just try for right now, getting exercise, healthy food and vitimin pills (B vitimins are good for mood), enough sleep and lastly some counseling. Also, remember to enroll in some simple classes to meet other people who share same interests as you.

Best of luck

Like you are so well known that people would point on the streets at you (if your husband posted something on a anonymous(sp?) website).

I don't tell me friends or my family - and here really, the other women can relate.

OMG! I would be so embarrassed if my husband posted about any of my habits that he found distasteful on a forum.

My point is not that someone might recognize me on the streets. For me, the thought of my husband commenting or complaining about my hygiene or personal habits to people on a forum is devastating. Whether I found out what he said or not is not what would even matter. Just the thought of my husband saying such things about me is upsetting.

Well, since you are not my husband, you need not concern yourself about it.

I apologize, I was only sharing my thoughts.

I apologize also. However, this is really an anonymous forum. The stresses of being responsible for EVERYTHING related to your spouse adjusting and not being able to speak to people close to you (in real life) can be overwhelming. The MENA crowd understand in some ways. We fight and disagree. But we all share a common experience and try to help each other also.

WOW! That was verrrrrryyyy informative!!!! Thanks!

Protien is what makes your enamel strong during the development of your teeth, and sugar has nothing to do with the provcess at all. Also, some people have a more basic and some a more acidic saliva. As children, most of us have acidic saliva which switches to basic... your teeth are basic (alkaline), and this causes less bacteria to grow and protects your teeth... but some poeple never make the switch. These are often those who get cavities as adults. Your teeth also aren't just made up of calcium. The enamel (which is what matters in this case) is hydroxyapatite, Ca10(PO4)6(OH)2. The OH can be replaced by a floride, carbonate, or chloride (which is how you hear about determining if someone is from a place with high water fluorosis). hydroxyapatite plus two protiens which are found only in teeth-- amelogen and enamelin are what make up the teeth... and collagen which is what makes up bone is not present. Collagen is what allows your bones to bend (yes, they do bend some or else they would break every time you jumped down off something). Teeth don't need to bend, as they are not actually cemented into your mandible/maxilla-- they are held in the crypts with dental ligaments, so that when you bite down, the ligaments stretch and allow your teeth to wiggle all around. That's why your teeth HAVE to wiggle-- so you don't shatter them. You also have a pressure sensor system with the nerves under your teeth... it is very difficult to make yourself bite down hard enough to break your teeth. The nerve sends a message to your brain which relays a STOP message to your muscles... and if you noticed just trying you feel very apprehensive, scared, and it is very hard to mentally force yourself to do so. This is driectly tied to the nervous system.

Diet is what influences your teeth the most. The harder your diet, the more tooth wear but the less caries you get. The softer your diet (like an agricultural diet that is grain-based) the more caries you get. The more refined your diet, the more caries you get. So you could be doing pretty well on an agricultural diet but then switch to a westernized processed diet and caries will go nits... even though you think you're eating the same thing-- bread, vegetables, etc... Also Tea is the worst, followed by juice and soda as bad for your teeth.

Wearing a t-shirt once or twice, or even three times is ok if you don't sweat or wear deodorant.

You forgot to mention.. once he cleans or organizes it.. DON'T TOUCH HIS STUFF!!!

I agree, it's an individual thing and not a culture thing.... For instance Jihed showers all the time, teeth, deo, doesn't smell, etc (Only thing is he thinks if a shirt was only worn a few hours that it's fine to wear it again another day ) BUT

My american brothers... They don't always have the best habits.. they shower and brush teeth, but the clothes thing is an ongoing argument with them and my mother... maybe their ages... 17 and 19 but they need a kick in the pants sometimes... So again I don't think it's a "MENA" thing .. But that it can just be a "men" thing.. And I've known a few woman that could have used some help in the personal hygiene department too!!!! Yuck!

Count me in, I guess! I think it's wasteful to wash clothes after wearing them only once.

I think cavities in teeth is directly related to calcium in our diet growing up and suger consumption as children.

If you have hard teeth and don't eat suger as a child, you can get away without seeing a dentist much.

I wanted to add that my husband also has perfectly straight teeth and gorgeous smile

you know how many times, IN HIS LIFE, he was fortunate enough to go the to the dentist?

well i am surprised, the people who dont frequent the dentist seem to not have as many cavities or problems

but those of us who are diligent and take extreme care suffer....mmmm why is that?

You forgot to mention.. once he cleans or organizes it.. DON'T TOUCH HIS STUFF!!!

You KNOW my husband then!!! He is very picky with his stuff! After I got a computer, he is very picky about how hard I tap the key-board and insisting "I be patient while it warms up." Now it is "his computer."

I agree, it's an individual thing and not a culture thing.... For instance Jihed showers all the time, teeth, deo, doesn't smell, etc (Only thing is he thinks if a shirt was only worn a few hours that it's fine to wear it again another day ) BUT

My american brothers... They don't always have the best habits.. they shower and brush teeth, but the clothes thing is an ongoing argument with them and my mother... maybe their ages... 17 and 19 but they need a kick in the pants sometimes... So again I don't think it's a "MENA" thing .. But that it can just be a "men" thing.. And I've known a few woman that could have used some help in the personal hygiene department too!!!! Yuck!

Nutty, hope the interview goes well and if this one is not meant to be, I hope there will be more and SOON

I have to thank god my hubby has his cleaning (house/body/teeth) OCD's. Ever since I met him..he's been obsessed a bit. He has to have his coordinating cologne, body spray, body wash, deodorant. You should have seen his expression when he saw all the choices we have here in the US.

I don't think its a cultural thing...about wearing clothing several times or deodorant...its just the way someone is raised and the habits they form.

Like you are so well known that people would point on the streets at you (if your husband posted something on a anonymous(sp?) website).

I don't tell me friends or my family - and here really, the other women can relate.

OMG! I would be so embarrassed if my husband posted about any of my habits that he found distasteful on a forum.

My point is not that someone might recognize me on the streets. For me, the thought of my husband commenting or complaining about my hygiene or personal habits to people on a forum is devastating. Whether I found out what he said or not is not what would even matter. Just the thought of my husband saying such things about me is upsetting.

Well, since you are not my husband, you need not concern yourself about it.

However, there is an island that an Iranian friend of mine told me about. For the life of me I can't remember what the name of it is. It might not even be an island but a small country over there somewhere on the sea. It seems like it was developed almost with tourists in mind and the pictures I saw made it look just divine. I wish I could contact my friend and find out what the place is, but he's gone MIA.

I'm sure your friend was talking about Kish Island. http://www.kishisland.com/

My fiance wants us to marry and honeymoon in Istanbul. Personally, I'd rather go to Thailand. I'd love to see all the Buddhist temples, relax on the beach and go into the jungle areas. Then, whether we get married in Istanbul or Thailand, i'd like to visit Iran afterwards to meet his family that couldn't make it to the wedding and see some of those beautiful places i've only seen in pictures.

And I must say I would not recommend Dubai to anyone thinking of going there. It is too fake, too hot, too expensive, too touristy, completely lacking in history or culture and did I mention too fake? It's basically just a playground for the rich where the desert meets the Persian Gulf. There are far more interesting, affordable and cultured places in the Middle East to visit. I'm sure you could enjoy yourself much more in Lebanon or Egypt.

I've been to Thailand A LOT! There is no gaurentee that you won't get caught in monsoonal rains depending on when you go. It can put a real cramp in the "laying on the beach" option. Other than that I love Thailand.

HOWEVER, Turkey is also beautiful. Instanbul is a beautiful and there are wonderful coastal towns with beachs and historic places.

Both a great options.

I'm sure your friend was talking about Kish Island. http://www.kishisland.com/

My fiance wants us to marry and honeymoon in Istanbul. Personally, I'd rather go to Thailand. I'd love to see all the Buddhist temples, relax on the beach and go into the jungle areas. Then, whether we get married in Istanbul or Thailand, i'd like to visit Iran afterwards to meet his family that couldn't make it to the wedding and see some of those beautiful places i've only seen in pictures.

And I must say I would not recommend Dubai to anyone thinking of going there. It is too fake, too hot, too expensive, too touristy, completely lacking in history or culture and did I mention too fake? It's basically just a playground for the rich where the desert meets the Persian Gulf. There are far more interesting, affordable and cultured places in the Middle East to visit. I'm sure you could enjoy yourself much more in Lebanon or Egypt.

My husband was offered the job, contingent on him having a car. The salary was extremely low, but that is not a problem. We consider it a "probationary" salary to be renegotiated after three months.

Im thinking the deodorant thing with my husband has something to do with his skin being so sensitive. I'm going to flat out ask him. Like I said he doesn't smell but his skin is so sensitive if you rub it, it seems to get like welts on it. He has an allergist appointment tomorrow, watch him be allergic to me. Just kidding...

So any news? How did the interview go? My hubby takes a test for AK Steel today. I have no clue how that will go.

It went VERY WELL!!!

The man offered the job. But my husband needs a car to get there since he will be "on call." So today my husband is taking the written portion of his drivers test and must make appointment for the driving test. Now we need to get a car.

Nutty, how did the interview go?

LOLOLOLOL!!!

Thank God! My husband has excellent teeth!!! Better than mine! a full set (YIKES! Meant to say he has no crowns, like me. I have all my teeth!)

Of course you all realize (I am sure) that the only reason to go to the dentist is when your tooth hurts. And of course no reason for x-rays because there is only one tooth that has a problem.

Yup He was nervous the machine would damage his clothes (not like they were super expensive anyway) and then concerned about the amount of water it used, until I told him I don't pay for water, then concerned about the electricity that it consumed and wanting to know how much I pay for that

Another part was just not knowing how to use it and having always washed his clothes by hand. He washed my clothes by hand as well every single time that I was there.... Washed them, took them to the roof, hung them up, took them down when dry (about 25 minutes in a Tunisian summer lol ) and pressed them and folded them, put them all away in his sister's cabinet that I used

When he got here it just carried over, spending a life time doing his laundry this way. But I finally snapped after days or weeks (can't recall?) of my bathroom having clothes of all shapes and forms hanging from every surface possible and put his stuff in the machine and it came out so clean and smelled so good that he was thrilled and said teach me how to use these things.. I did and now he's the washing man.. Wants to put everything inside of there

Jihed too... deodorant... showers 1-2 times a day, and washing 5 times a day for prayer, brushes his teeth at least once a day if not more, cologne sometimes but not too often.. Although I admit he's totally guilty of wearing shirts and jeans 3 or 4 times.... 99% it's fine because he's very clean but once in a while if he goes outside on a hot day then tries to wear that shirt again I have to give it a big NO! (But that's not a MENA thing my American step father and brothers do it too... Funky men!!! )

He was weary of the washing machine when he first got here.. Just having never had one before and was in fear it would damage his clothes, spent a few weeks hand washing them and hanging them to dry .. my bathroom looked like a MENA balcony or roof top!! .. but now it's his best friend and there is never anything in the hamper because he thinks it's the cat's meow to run the machines

sofyan wears deodarent and brushes daily...I thought Hindus didnt wear deodarent, not arab

Washing his clothes all the time by hand???? OMG! That is soo funny! What a labor of love (for ones own clothes).

Hindus wear deodorant. At least the sell it in the shops. But it is soooo expensive (more than here in USA).

My husband is the washing man too. But tell him the difference between darks (cold water), whites (hot water), delicates (cold, don't put in the dryer) and he is completely lost. I just had two nice new blouses ruined due to this. Didn't say anything, he just needs to observe as we go along on the domestic chores. Gotta say, since my melt down last week he has been soooooo much better about doing stuff without me asking him to do it. The construction work being done yesterday on my apartment left black dust on/around the windows and he was wiping it all down as I came home from work.

my husband is obsessed with cleanliness and showers multiple times a day. deodarant, aftershave, baby powder or other stuff on his feet, nails always groomed, always cleanly shaved, slightly metrosexual.

i dont always wear deodarant

I think metrosexual is ok. I like it on other men, but it would begin to irritate me if my husband took longer to get ready than the average woman.

Baby powder, even??? WOW!

Jihed too... deodorant... showers 1-2 times a day, and washing 5 times a day for prayer, brushes his teeth at least once a day if not more, cologne sometimes but not too often.. Although I admit he's totally guilty of wearing shirts and jeans 3 or 4 times.... 99% it's fine because he's very clean but once in a while if he goes outside on a hot day then tries to wear that shirt again I have to give it a big NO! (But that's not a MENA thing my American step father and brothers do it too... Funky men!!! )

He was weary of the washing machine when he first got here.. Just having never had one before and was in fear it would damage his clothes, spent a few weeks hand washing them and hanging them to dry .. my bathroom looked like a MENA balcony or roof top!! .. but now it's his best friend and there is never anything in the hamper because he thinks it's the cat's meow to run the machines

sofyan wears deodarent and brushes daily...I thought Hindus didnt wear deodarent, not arab

Washing his clothes all the time by hand???? OMG! That is soo funny! What a labor of love (for ones own clothes).

Hindus wear deodorant. At least the sell it in the shops. But it is soooo expensive (more than here in USA).

my husband showers all the time but wont wear deoderant for some reason. if i tell him u need to put some on cuz he stinks, he will go shower or spray some perfume on his shirt. then he will wear his clothes and put the back in the closet and then wear them again and again and then does the sniff test to see if its time to wash them or not. he dont like his clothes to become old looking from washing them too much....but he will walk around with smelly shirts...what the heck????

funny thing is when i met him the first time i told him his breath stinks did he brush his teeth. he said no i dont brush them but every maybe 5 days and his teeth were perfect....not one cavity. well i wasnt putting up with bad breath so i demanded he start brushing them and now he is getting cavities. how can that be possible?

I like your style!!! Say it straight!!!!

Now brushing and getting cavities???? I can't even hazzard to guess how this would be possible.

This reminds me of my man. It's so hard to get him to shower, brush his teeth or wear clean clothes. He'll spend an hour fixing his hair and 30 minutes washing his ####### after going to the point i'm banging on the door to see if he fell in. But shower, take care of his teeth and do laundry?...no.

I shudder on the days he's out of deoderant and cologne.

My husband showers everyday, brushes three times a day, flosses even. Spends a lot of time on his hair (I can't believe he works so hard to make it look good, when it sooo short). It is just his aversion to things, "Chemical based." I think he has heard the controversy of under arm deodorant as a possible cause of breast cancer. But he isn't a woman. And mouthwash has alcohol in it (so maybe a religious issues here?)

I lived outside USA for a long time and have become familiar with other cultures and differences in hygeine care.

As for my husband, he doesn't reek. I find his subtle smell nice. But it doesn't fly when it comes to going for an job interview

I am happy to see that you MENA women, for the most part, have some of the same issues here

I think, once my husband gets here, taking care of himself will be routine

it is hard to care about yourself when no one else does

when there is no one to impress or no work to go everyday

I dont tolerate it, I mean how do you tell someone you love and are attracted to, UMMM, YOU HAVE HYGIENE ISSUES??

and if they have those issues how then, are we, attracted to that??

oh ok, in the beginning they are impressing us, so they hide it, I think

after marriage, just the normal comfortableness of it all sets in....

I DUNNO

My husband was offered the job, contingent on him having a car. The salary was extremely low, but that is not a problem. We consider it a "probationary" salary to be renegotiated after three months.

Im thinking the deodorant thing with my husband has something to do with his skin being so sensitive. I'm going to flat out ask him. Like I said he doesn't smell but his skin is so sensitive if you rub it, it seems to get like welts on it. He has an allergist appointment tomorrow, watch him be allergic to me. Just kidding...

So any news? How did the interview go? My hubby takes a test for AK Steel today. I have no clue how that will go.

It went VERY WELL!!!

The man offered the job. But my husband needs a car to get there since he will be "on call." So today my husband is taking the written portion of his drivers test and must make appointment for the driving test. Now we need to get a car.

Nutty, how did the interview go?

LOLOLOLOL!!!

Thank God! My husband has excellent teeth!!! Better than mine! a full set

Of course you all realize (I am sure) that the only reason to go to the dentist is when your tooth hurts. And of course no reason for x-rays because there is only one tooth that has a problem.

My husband showers DAILY (with soap), is good about all the dental stuff (brushing, flossing). His not offensive in smelling.

But he resists chemical based items like deodorant and mouthwash (alcohol in it?)

sofyan wears deodarent and brushes daily...I thought Hindus didnt wear deodarent, not arab

Im thinking the deodorant thing with my husband has something to do with his skin being so sensitive. I'm going to flat out ask him. Like I said he doesn't smell but his skin is so sensitive if you rub it, it seems to get like welts on it. He has an allergist appointment tomorrow, watch him be allergic to me. Just kidding...

So any news? How did the interview go? My hubby takes a test for AK Steel today. I have no clue how that will go.

LOL! My husband is persian. Not Arab. And it isn't that he does not dress well. He dresses fine. But he did not bring his blue suit from Iran. Only casual clothes.

And let's be honest, Americans are highly sensitive to even the slightest body odors. And body odor isn't limited to other cultures. There are some stinkers who are born and raised in good ol' USA!

who told you That we arab men dont wear deotorant and dress well??!!

Like you are so well known that people would point on the streets at you (if your husband posted something on a anonymous(sp?) website).

I don't tell me friends or my family - and here really, the other women can relate.

OMG! I would be so embarrassed if my husband posted about any of my habits that he found distasteful on a forum.

Don't get me wrong....I like my husbands body odor (when it is mild - a few hours after showering)!!! Quite sexy! But maybe not everyone else would appreciate it. And Americans are highly sensitive to body smells. I noticed even when living in Germany the Germans didn't mind a little BO (especially in winter). But with American military staff serving there, it was a constant joke about the "smelly Germans."

My husband is a chemical engineer. So he's adverse to using "chemical products" like mouthwash, deodorant....

There is one synthetic winter jacket he has that is so impregnated with BO, that even after washing it once, it still smells. And when you open the closet, the smell hits you in the face. It is contaminating all his other clothes!!!

[/quote)tt

believe me when I tell him how Americans are sensitive to body odor. It is like he does not believe me or something.

Nutty you are so funny. I know you are frustrated but I had to laugh at this line. I am terrified of this conversation with my husband. I mentioned this as well as kindly and sweetly as possible,but with my own obsession with dial antibacterial soap, I can only hope for the best. I was thinking maybe at the worst..some wellmeaning co-worker will domy dirty work for me and than Ican be the good guy that says "Honey, whats important is who you are inside! and the job you do for the company" and You smell so sexy to me

As you all know, I got my husband's resume together and mailed it out to various companies, job ads and what not. Well, today he got a call from one company to come in a few hours later for an interview.

I made a list of three people he could use as references, emailed them on short notice to make sure it was ok for them to be called. Ran home (literally ran, no car) on my lunch to see what his attire choices were. I thought he brought his nice suit from Iran. NOT! Come to find out his clothes were dress casual at best. Black shoes, khaki trousers, no tie...!!! Not to mention the BO wafting off his shirts. I mean, it is not that bad, but by American standards it's noticable. Anyway, made sure he wore CLEAN smelling shirt and decent trousers.

It seems like everything is such a damn struggle.

He does not understand the important of dressing for interviews or believe me when I tell him how Americans are sensitive to body odor. It is like he does not believe me or something.