TBoneTX

Fact-Checking The GOP's Claims About Kamala Harris With the Democratic National Convention complete and election day drawing closer, Donald Trump and his supporters have stepped up their attacks on opponent Kamala Harris. The Onion fact-checks Republicans' claims about the Democratic nominee. [...] https://theonion.com/fact-checking-the-gops-claims-about-kamala-harris/

Aides Beg J.D. Vance To Stop Carrying Model Of Woman's Pelvis While Meeting Voters LEXINGTON, KY—Stating that the anatomical facsimile of the female groin was having the opposite of the vice presidential candidate's intended effect, aides begged J.D. Vance on Monday to stop carrying around a model of a woman's pelvis while meeting with voters. "I can't stress enough how much people don't like it when you [...] https://theonion.com/aides-beg-j-d-vance-to-stop-carrying-model-of-womans-pelvis-while-meeting-voters/

Panicked Tim Walz Trapped In Football Metaphor For Third Consecutive Day SAVANNAH, GA—His voice growing increasingly hoarse as he entered his 72nd hour of contextualizing the 2024 campaign through sports, vice presidential candidate Tim Walz reportedly panicked Monday while trapped inside a football metaphor for the third consecutive day. "It's the fourth quarter, we're down by a field goal, but we're on offense, we're driving to the end zone, and, boy, do we have the right team to win this—please, help me, help me," Walz reportedly said in a plea to a baffled swing voter, tears spilling from the Minnesota governor's eyes as [...] https://theonion.com/panicked-tim-walz-trapped-in-football-metaphor-for-third-consecutive-day/

Exclusive Interview With Kamala Harris With Joe Biden stepping aside from the 2024 presidential race, the Democratic Party has put its money, manpower, and fate in the hands of Kamala Harris. The Onion sat down with the vice president to discuss her political career, her whirlwind nomination, and her vision for the future of the United States of America. [...] https://theonion.com/exclusive-interview-with-kamala-harris/

Man Who Ate Wings For Dinner Forced To Sit On Towel For Car Ride Home BALTIMORE—Crossing his arms in frustration at the humiliating requirement, Danny Combes, a local man who had chicken wings for dinner at Shannon's Pub and Grille, was forced to sit on a large beach towel for the whole car ride home, sources confirmed Wednesday. "Danny enjoyed his big, messy meal of bone-in hot wings, but he knew when he placed his order that he would have to keep a towel under himself until we get home," said partner Alison Singh, adding that [...] https://theonion.com/man-who-ate-wings-for-dinner-forced-to-sit-on-towel-for-car-ride-home/

Grandmother Hamster Overly Critical Of Way Daughter Eats Babies WICHITA, KS—In a judgmental appraisal of her daughter's parenting techniques only moments after she gave birth, an area grandmother hamster was reportedly overly critical Friday of the way her daughter ate her babies. "Oh, come on, stop being so delicate and shove them in your mouth the old-fashioned way," said the elderly 1.75-year-old hamster, failing to take into account [...] https://theonion.com/grandmother-hamster-overly-critical-of-way-daughter-eats-babies/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Woman Wastes Free Monthly Cincinnati.com Article On Story About High School Golf Team NORWOOD, OH—Kicking herself as the words "1 free article(s) remaining" hovered at the bottom of her screen, local woman Margaret Cross stated Wednesday that she had wasted a free monthly Cincinnati.com article on a story about a high school golf team. "I just got pulled in because I know my cousin's kid plays for St. Ursula, and now, because of that one absentminded click, there are all kinds of fun Cincinnati happenings I won't be able to read about," said Cross, who acknowledged [...] https://theonion.com/woman-wastes-free-monthly-cincinnati-com-article-on-story-about-high-school-golf-team/

~~~~~~~~~~~ Bride Being Awfully Picky About Wedding Cake For Someone Who Just Got Free Flight From Cambodia STOCKTON, CA—Complaining that the woman acts like she owns the place despite her groom's incredible generosity, local man Jason Foster reported Monday that his bride was being awfully picky about the wedding cake for someone who just got a free flight from Cambodia. "She steps off the plane I forked over 900 bucks for and suddenly she thinks she's too good for a pre-made chocolate sheet cake?" said Foster, who complained that for someone who has been in the country less than 48 hours, she suddenly has a lot of opinions on the proper decor and food needed for a customary American wedding. "People are so entitled these days. [...] https://theonion.com/bride-being-awfully-picky-about-wedding-cake-for-someone-who-just-got-free-flight-from-cambodia/

How Universities Are Cracking Down On Palestine Protests With millions returning to campuses for the start of another school year, university administrators are establishing new policies to prevent and discourage their students from taking part in pro-Palestine protests. Here are some of the most popular strategies colleges are using in their crackdowns. [...] https://theonion.com/how-universities-are-cracking-down-on-palestine-protests/

Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That [Is] Neither Wet Nor Dry CAMBRIDGE, MA—Pondering a hypothetical that, if proven, would fundamentally alter feline understanding of the universe, the nation's foremost cat scientists held a symposium Friday to discuss a theoretical third food type that was neither wet nor dry. "Consider a world in which food is not split into the binary we have always known, but exists outside the paradigm of wetness and dryness," said leading kibble theorist Sneakers, explaining that [...] Continues: https://theonion.com/cat-scientists-theorize-about-third-type-of-food-that-neither-wet-nor-dry/

Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry CAMBRIDGE, MA—Pondering a hypothetical that, if proven, would fundamentally alter feline understanding of the universe, the nation's foremost cat scientists held a symposium Friday to discuss a theoretical third food type that was neither wet nor dry. "Consider a world in which food is not split into the binary we have always known, but exists outside the paradigm of wetness and dryness," said leading kibble theorist Sneakers, explaining that [...] https://theonion.com/cat-scientists-theorize-about-third-type-of-food-that-neither-wet-nor-dry/

Source Says Kamala Was Promoted At McDonald's After Having Affair With Mayor McCheese U.S. — After skeptics questioned Kamala Harris's claim that she once worked at Mcdonald's, researchers have found evidence of her employment — and rapid promotion to shift manager — after a sordid affair with Mayor McCheese. "It's now clear how Kamala was able to rise through the ranks from a lowly crew member at the fry station to running the entire restaurant in spite of her glaring incompetence," said Journalist Chet Cruggs, who broke the story. "This seems to be Harris's modus operandi at every place she has worked." https://babylonbee.com/news/source-says-kamala-was-promoted-at-mcdonalds-after-having-affair-with-mayor-mccheese

Las Vegas Teen Converts to Islam, and Guess What He Did Next Las Vegas' KLAS reported Thursday that Joshua Robles, 16, has been "accused of plotting an ISIS-inspired terror attack." After Robles was arrested last November, prosecutors considered him to be so dangerous that they asked that his bail be set at a million dollars; Las Vegas Justice Court Pro Temp Judge Lauren Diefenbach, however, instead decided to set it at $10,000, "adding should Robles post bail, he would be placed on house arrest with electronic monitoring." Oh. That'll fix everything. [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/09/02/las-vegas-teen-converts-to-islam-and-guess-what-he-did-next-n4932185

We'd all better pray that no one in the world takes advantage of this before Trump takes office. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biden Goes Full-On Incoherent in Pittsburgh, What He Says About Kamala Is Incredible Joe Biden is back before the cameras. In some ways, it would be better if he stayed on vacation, as he may do less damage then when he's actually before the cameras and talking. How wrong it is that the Democrats have put us in that position with him, by not being honest about his condition. Kamala Harris is chief among those who has not been honest with the American people about Biden's issues. After making bizarre comments before and after a meeting in the Situation Room about the situation in Israel, Biden went with Harris to Pittsburgh for a campaign event with union people. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2024/09/02/biden-goes-full-on-incoherent-in-pittsburgh-and-what-he-says-about-kamala-being-a-saint-is-incredible-n2178849

Hamas Made Slain Hostages Record Videos Before Their Deaths The barbarians known as Hamas are not only killing hostages, but they are now taunting the families of those hostages by releasing videos of the slain taken prior to their deaths. The terror organization is also promising more to come. [...] https://redstate.com/joesquire/2024/09/02/hamas-made-slain-hostages-record-videos-before-their-deaths-n2178851

Did you even ask him?

Country-specific thread is moved from the Embassy/Consulate forum to the Caribbean regional forum.

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Monday report, see man: We duly awoke at o'dark-Many to prepare for Landscape Mexican's promised arrival, no zzz we man. We caffeinated ourself heavily, only partial success man. At Many a.m., we texted to inquire as to his arrival time, text we man. "At Many pm," said he, text LM man. We groggily tried to occupy ourself, groggy we man. At an hour before noon, we consumed breakfast/lunch, consume we man. It was 2 ham-&-cheese sandwiches, indict all but the cheese and ingest we man. We were so sleepy afterward that we retired for a siesta, zzz we man. After an hour's zzz, we considered going to favorite large thrift store for half-price day, consider we man. We decided not, timing too short man. We almost returned for another siesta, need zzz we man. At half-of-half-past Many p.m., LM texted that he was here, finally man. He took one look at the job and said, "Pay me $Many*, not $Many*, si man," man. *in this instance, $Many was more than $Many, or maybe less, fluidity of P-Math man We reluctantly agreed, no choice man. LM and helper got to work, industrious LMs man. In under an hour, all was done, amazingly better man. We paid the LM $Many and bade him adios till next time, adios LM man. Many (2+2+1) -- si man, Many (2+2+1) -- gigantic leaf-bags are now curbsided, Tuesday collection man. Din-din was Modified Tuna Glop and the rest of the Costco chicken salad, ingest we man. Miu was intensely interested in the tuna and the chicken salad, involved miu man. After din-din, we went to favorite large thrift store, half-price day man. Almost no traffic, blessing of a holiday man. Place was still quite busy, must have been mobbed all day by the looks of the racks man. We got Mini-B. the following, see man: -- Many (2+2+1) long-sleeved shirts, si man -- Many (2+2 +1) long pants, si man -- Many (2+1) underwears, si man -- 1 T-shirt and 1 short pants, si man We saved $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 + 2+2+1), financially savvy we man. On the drive back, ex-Mrs.-T-B. called, call ex-she man we man man: Ex-Mrs.-T-B.: I got a notice for jury service, si man. T-B.: So, huh man? Ex-Mrs.-T-B.: It's dated July Many'th for August Many'th, and I just now opened it, si man. T-B.: You're going to jail, si and hee hee hee man! Ex-Mrs.-T-B.: But I was in Ecuador the whole time, si man! T-B.: Doesn't matter, no man; you're going to jail, and you must call the Rojo to bail you out, si man! Ex-Mrs.-T-B.: But I can prove that I was away, si man! T-B.: Call the number on the form and try to explain that, and then to the judge, si man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B.: Will they still throw me in jail, huh man? T-B.: Probably, and bail is $Many,000, si man. Call the Rojo now to start financing it, si man! The conversation went almost like the above, si man. At the casa, we cleaned the miu-box and curbsided the garbage and recycling, industrious we man. We also changed the A/C filter, pulmonarily savvy we man. We just found a box of Aldi graham crackers that "expired" Many (2x2x2x2 +2) months ago, si man. We are snacking on them now, indistinguishable from new and financially savvy we man. The casa's pavement hasn't been pressure-warshed for over Many (2+1) years, no man. We just wrote the guy who did it last time to come do it again, si man. Interestingly, vinegar that we'd used to kill pop-up weeds really lightened the pavement, interesting man. No major plans for Tuesday, perhaps grocery for Mama T-B. we man. Party with the rubias after late TV news, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

You have a one-track mind, o inferior primate...

This is beginning to compare with the many-weeks-long saga of Mama T-B. and her new cell phone...

You just Finnished her off. I like the Spanish "Que Mala." Y'know, with both of the above, she'd be better off if her name was "Kommie."

Thread is moved from the CR-1 Progress subforum to the USCIS Service Centers forum -- topic is a feature offered by USCIS.

Congratulations on the speedy NOA1 -- how envious previous generations of VJ-ers are of you. I recommend gathering multiple copies of all documents that would be difficult or expensive to obtain after you leave your country: birth certificates, divorce or death certificate of previous spouse if applicable, school records for yourself (wait until closer to the interview to get those for the kids), and especially copies of vaccination records -- on official clinic letterhead or with a certifying stamp (wait until everyone gets what's needed). Think of other official records. Keep a copy for the interview, and keep the other copies safe where you can gain access to them. Before your interview, renew your country's passport and driver's license for the longest terms possible. If you plan to vote from overseas, renew your voter registration as may apply. Begin planning long-term for after U.S. arrival: "If my ___ approval takes X months to come in, I'll spend my time doing ___, ___, and ___" (have plans for various durations, short & long). Plan for what the kids will need. This is a good way to strengthen your relationship with your fiance. Before you visit the U.S. for your 2 weeks, contact your U.S. consulate (Stockholm?) to see what papers or approvals will be needed for the kids' passports. I don't know if your fiance will have to provide anything, but your ex-husband might need to write letters of consent for your taking the kids. That's all that I can think of for now. These suggestions may spur further ideas of your own.

In addition, on this point: Call for help. Call church groups, social-support agencies, and others. Resources are out there. This includes marriage counseling, if you have your honest mutual airing of dissatisfaction and resentment still remains.

This sounds like a golden opportunity to learn and work together! Communicate, communicate, communicate! Assume things at your peril. It's never too late to begin communicating, so start now -- if there's yelling and crying, that's good! Marriage is "the two of you against the world" -- you've made the commitment, so renew it by expressing it to each other, and get going as a team. If you're determined, nothing can stop you.