TBoneTX

Well, here's a new wrinkle, man. In texting with the JC, we mentioned that Mini-B. is here for Two Guys week, si man. The JC asked more about Mini-B., ask JC man about wee man man. We stated Mini-B.'s age and noted that he has grown another inch in one week, note we man. We then sent a foto of Mini-B.'s recent Band aftermath, si man. It had we man, wee man, and ex-she man in it, ancestor ancestress descendant man. We had our arms around Mini-B. & ex-Mrs.-T-B., so what man. The JC reacted as follows, see man: "Well, thank you for sharing, si man. I will have to say, though, this is a little too close for comfort, si man. It seems to me like you're a little more involved than I know, si man. "You kept getting texts from her when you met me, si man. You have her as "cariño" [Spanish "dear"] on your phone, si man. And taking pictures like this with your arm around her waist is too much for me, si man. I think you're married and you're not being completely honest, si and no man." We promised to send her the divorce papers from Manyvember ManyMany, si man. We explained the nickname, si man. We noted that our arm was around Mini-B.'s waist, too, si man. We explained our living conditions, enough to chase off anyone man. We said that we wouldn't have sent the foto if we had anything to hide, no man. We said that a solo foto of Mini-B. would not indicate his comparative size to us, no man. We e-mailed the JC Many (2+1) files, proof of divorce man. We followed up by complimenting her prudence in being suspicious, si man. We noted that ex-Mrs.-T-B. and we agreed to be unified in support of Mini-B., si man. We noted our approval of ex-she man's relationship with the Rojo, si man. We solicited further questions or concerns from the JC, solicit we man. It is too late to expect a response from the JC tonight, yawn man. We interpret the JC's suspicion as objectively healthy and a sign that she cares, si man. What input do you have, huh man?

Such as upvotes, huh D ma'am?

Thrilling Sunday report, see man: We did not leave the casa all day, perfect Sunday man. LL conquered, domestic we man. Breakfast was a Chomps beef stick, ingest we man. Lunch (at Many p.m.) was Tuna Glop, ingest we man. Din-din was the remaining Many'rd of the Costco chicken salad, ingest we man. Miu showed great interest in this people-food, invasive miu man. The JC began texting in midafternoon, communicative JC she man. She outdid herself with the wedding, service-oriented JC she man. It's a great sign that the JC is this communicative, si man. No word at all from the LR, oh well man. Mini-B. arrived for Two Guys week, Two Guys week man. We man, wee man, and ex-Mrs.-T-B. played a rousing game of Nerf football, play we and wee and ex-she man. Football came from Harvard, Boston trip just concluded man. Papa T-B. got his PhD at Harvard, note we man. Miu is highly excited at Big Brudduh's presence, excited miu man. Shall try to get Mini-B. embedded soon, zzz for wee man man. The JC continues to text, fingers crossed we man. We must dish the warsher, groan we man. And that was/is our thrilling Sunday, report we man.

How dare you rely on technology to do woman's work, si D ma'am! Bad lazy indolent Ontarklar! Bad, BAD lazy LAZY indolent INDOLENT Ontarklar! If they truly want a vacuum that works, use a broom & dustpan, si D ma'am! Bad overly-highly-technological Ontarklar! Bad, BAD overly-highly-technological OVERLY-HIGHLY-TECHNOLOGICAL Ontarklar!

If you're healthy enough to exercise, you're healthy enough NOT to.

This somber reading doesn't even scratch the surface. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gruesome Details Emerge About the Horrific Conditions Faced by Hostages in Gaza The Israeli Health Ministry has compiled a report, detailing the horrific conditions hostages in Gaza have faced at the hands of their Hamas captors, and it's about as gruesome as you can imagine. Israel plans to submit the report to the United Nations this week. The information is based on interviews with the personnel who provided medical and other types of care to many of the hostages who were freed in late November 2023. According to the Jerusalem Post, the report uses pseudonyms to protect their identities. Warning: Graphic Content Ahead Men, women, and children were all subjected to both physical and psychological abuse through actions like sexual assault, starvation, branding, water deprivation, withholding necessary medical care, hair pulling, beatings, and various other means of torture. When they weren't being deprived of food and water, they were [...] https://pjmedia.com/sarah-anderson/2024/12/29/gruesome-details-emerge-about-the-horrific-conditions-faced-by-hostages-in-gaza-n4935506

Or is it "we have better teeth because we wear helmets"? Kind of like the Alice In Wonderland question: Is "I see what I eat" the same as "I eat what I see"?

Obummer was more dangerous. And he, his people, or both were (are) pulling Bidementia's strings. Although not all of the evidence of Bidementia's damage is clear, I consider Carter to have been worse. People during Carter's term had NO HOPE -- ZERO. The inflation, gas shortages, kowtowing to international Muslims, et al. were nonstop and intolerable. Reagan's potential as an agent of salvation wasn't clear until well into the campaign season, and even then there were doubts about him. During Bidementia's term, we have always had INTENSE hope that Trump would return to save us. For this reason alone, I continue to maintain that Carter was worse than Bidementia.

This column, by a great presidential historian, needs readin'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's Too Bad That Jimmy Carter Didn't Live Even Longer The curtain has finally come down on one of the longest acts in American history: after lingering in hospice care for nearly two years, Jimmy Carter is dead at the age of 100. Now, as we all learned in Latin class, de mortuis nisi bonum, that is, only say good things about the dead, and by most accounts, Jimmy Carter was a decent fellow who tried to do the right thing by his lights. There is no Latin maxim, however, about not speaking ill of a dead president's time in the Oval Office, and on that score, a great deal can and should be said about Jimmy Carter. Although Carter was the longest-lived president of the United States ever, it is a shame that he didn't live even longer. The second Trump administration promises to put an end to the long, slow decline of the United States and the now well-established habit of betraying our allies that Carter did so much to initiate, and it's too bad that Carter won't be around to witness America’s resurgence — if, that is, the late president's friends and ideological kin don't manage to block any such rebound. Back in 1978, when America was in the midst of Carter's weak and sanctimonious presidency, [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/12/29/its-too-bad-that-jimmy-carter-didnt-live-even-longer-n4935516

It's because we can afford such armo(u)r and Spandex.

Kickball is a third-world sport, amigo.

Dump already taken, si man. (Uh, wait man... what, man?) Recovery soon, si to senior Neon she man man. Doze-time precised, see and si and man. Prospective up-time precised, see and si and man. Illegitimate and completely obscene/ridiculous awake-time precised, see and si and man. Siiiiii, man. LR hasn't texted more than a line or two all weekend, oh well man. On the other hand, the JC just sent a foto of herself in bridesmaid dress, weak-in-the-knees we man. We shall start baking the LL and try a siesta, bake-and-zzz we man.

Old thread is now locked.

No VAWA posts between our Semiofficial and Official VAWA-Thread Jokes? Jokes worked again... jokes worked again... Here is our Sunday Official VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== OH, YEAH? I just spent 45 minutes on the treadmill. Tomorrow, my goal is to turn it on. SON: Dad, I got a role in the school play! DAD: What role? SON: A man who's been married for 25 years. DAD: Maybe next time, you'll get a SPEAKING part. A boy went to a strip club. His mom got angry and asked him, "Did you see anything that you were not supposed to see?" The boy said, "Yeah -- I saw Dad!" MY WIFE: Our new neighbors are so in love! He kisses her, strokes her hair, and hugs her. Why don't you do that? ME: Because I don't know her that well yet. A policeman just pulled me over and said, "Papers?" I said, "Scissors! I win!" and drove off. I think he wants a rematch. He's been chasing me for 45 minutes.

Liberal White Woman Really Hoping A Black Shows Up To Her Kwanzaa Party This Year TEMPE, AZ — Local white liberal Jennifer Armstrong is holding out hope that a black person will actually show up to her Kwanzaa party this year. "I've been so good all year," said Armstrong. "All I want for Kwanzaa is a black to show up. Please, African Kwanzaa gods? Please bring me a black for Kwanzaa?" Armstrong has reportedly hosted a Kwanzaa celebration each December since 2017, but has yet to land a black at her party. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/liberal-white-woman-really-hoping-a-black-shows-up-to-her-kwanzaa-party-this-year

New Rasmussen Poll Has More Bad News for Liz Cheney About FBI Investigation As we previously reported, a recent interim report from the Committee on House Administration's Subcommittee on Oversight found that the events of Jan. 6 were preventable. It also dropped some bombshell allegations against former Republican Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney including that she may have tampered with a witness, Cassidy Hutchinson. The report said "numerous federal laws were likely broken" by Cheney, the Vice Chair of the Jan. 6 Committee and recommended that they be investigated by the FBI. Cheney did not handle the report well, tossing a bit of a fit. She went on and on about the pages of the report: [...] [...] Now there's more bad news for Cheney. A majority of voters are in favor of an investigation into her actions on the Jan. 6 Committee. According to a new Rasmussen poll, 57 percent of likely voters were in favor of the Republican call for an FBI investigation into Cheney. Of the 57 percent, 36 percent strongly approved and 21 percent somewhat approved. Only 33 percent disapproved. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2024/12/28/poll-has-some-bad-news-for-liz-cheney-n2183686

As Greenland Goes Dark Twitter Users Urge America to Seize the Moment Greenland has a major problem. [...] https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2024/12/28/greenland-major-power-outage-n2405830

Dave Barry recaps the year! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dave Barry Year in Review: 2024 was an exciting year, and by 'exciting,' we mean 'stupid' How stupid was 2024? Let's start with the art world, which over the centuries has given humanity so many beautiful, timeless masterpieces. This year, the biggest story involving art, by far, was that a cryptocurrency businessman paid $6.2 million at a Sotheby's auction for . . . A banana. Which he ate. "It's much better than other bananas," he told the press. And that was not the stupidest thing that happened in 2024. It might not even crack the top ten. Because this was also a year when: [...] https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article296995874.html

Who cares -- we don't listen to you Lobsterbacks anyway.

"Thrilling" Saturday non-ES report, see man: The JC texted us at 1 a.m. to say that she'd just finished helping with family wedding prep, incorrigible JC man. We awoke feeling not as lousy as usual, be thankful for little crumbs of happiness we man man. We had a nice first-date event to invite the near-rubia (NR) to, si man. She objected to parts of the plan, object NR man and accommodate we man. She took nearly 2 hours to respond to the revisions and suggest others, tardy NR man. We finally gave up waiting and proceeded with our day, already nearly 1 p.m. man. We had not consumed toucans or onecan of anything, waiting on NR to confirm or change again man. After ES-ing, we went to Aldi, nothing there that we'd come for man. It was now 2 hours + half an hour since our last plea for confirmation, si man. We gauged our headache and off-urinated status, both off the charts man. We texted the NR with "Changed mind, si man. It's off, si man. Sorry, si man. All the best, si man," si man. The NR immediately texted, "I was willing to make the drive and meet you there, si man!" si man. We should have told her off about responding responsibly when people are waiting, man. But the NR wasn't worth the effort, no man. We delivered a couple of Aldi items to Mama T-B., deliver we man to senior she man man. Mama T-B. observed that we have lost too much weight, shadow of our former self we man man. Went to Subway for breakfast/lunch/din-din WUOC & gift card, financially savvy we man. Returned to casa to service demanding miu, Feed Me Daddy miu man. Devoured the Subway, voraciously ingest we man. Tried to siesta with cough and splitting headache, complete failure man. Finally gave up, just forget it man. Took cough syrup with acetaminophen in it, ingest we man. Slighter headache remains, almost tolerable man. We are thoroughly enjoying our traumatic Saturday night here at the casa, oh whoopee man. Waiting for the LR (Legitimate Rubia) or the JC to contact us, need potential sympathy we man man. And that was/is our thoroughly thrilling Saturday, report we man.

Saturday ES report, see man: We attended the one ES, attend we and streak intact man. The take, see man: -- NIP high-gloss disposable forks, NIP high-gloss disposable spoons, partial roll wax paper = $2, deal man Total = $2

Then find a divorced one and consume a onecan, si and duh and man! See "Thrilling" Saturday report, man.

The world's longest Boeing 747 passenger flight will end as airlines phase out the iconic jet. See where it still flies. Korean Air is among the last airlines still flying the iconic Boeing 747, but it's scheduled to pull the jet from a particularly long US route in 2025. Route scheduling data from the aviation analytics company Cirium shows Korean Air plans to stop flying the 747 on its 7,153-mile route from Seoul to Atlanta — the longest 747 passenger flight by distance — in March. It will replace the 747 with the smaller Boeing 777-300ER, which has fewer seats on board. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/worlds-longest-boeing-747-passenger-103001419.html

Surgeon General: 'You Are Supposed To Be Able To Button Your Pants' WASHINGTON—Noting that the fasteners commonly found on most trousers were not merely ornamental, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory to the American public Thursday in which he clarified that people were supposed to be able to button their pants. "It should be a smooth effortless action that involves no protracted struggle to connect the two sides of the garment's waist," said Murthy, who added that buttoning your pants only to moments later have a seam rip or a button fly off still fell short of the government's recommended clothing standards. [...] https://theonion.com/surgeon-general-you-are-supposed-to-be-able-to-button-your-pants/

Report: Every Single Toy Gifted On Christmas Is Now Broken WORLD — The results of a shocking study released by Consumer Reports found that every single toy gifted on Christmas is now broken. According to the report, gifts such as digital movies or video games were, in some cases, broken from the onset due to a number of technical problems, but even simple toy blocks or action figures have been shattered against the mountainside of good natured fun. "Everything is gone," said one family man quoted in the study. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/report-finds-every-single-toy-gifted-on-christmas-is-now-broken