laylalex

Other nations can do these things, even through things like incentivizing private institutions to have on-site or nearby subsidized childcare. We can't just say "it's too expensive" and write it off -- there are so many, many things our government subsidizes or pays for for which too much is never enough. What would work? We're just spitballing on an internet forum, we can think big.

What's your answer then? What we have now doesn't work. Should parenthood be reserved only for people who can afford childcare, whether paid or unpaid? That seems like a way to perpetuate the huge divide between the classes, and to stoke resentment even more. We need to think holistically, outside of right and left, and be child-focused in this approach. What could we do besides allocating more towards parental support in the form of better access to childcare, nutrition, healthcare? It's one thing to take pot shots and another to look for solutions, even if those solutions don't necessarily sit well with our political views.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/republican-conference-tells-young-women-221000348.html I don't disagree with one thing here -- it's a lie to tell women that we can have it all. At least with the way that our society doesn't provide enough support to working families -- whatever those families happen to look like -- to enable them to make choices about which parent or parents want to work. There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be a SAHM, or a man being a SAHF, just like there's nothing wrong with a parent wanting to work in addition to parenting. But the choice to be a full-time parent can be out of reach when there's not enough money to pay the bills or put healthy food in hungry bellies. Access to affordable childcare and subsidies for nutrition are places to start, if politicians want to be serious about supporting families. Work and children shouldn't be an either/or proposition, and having a parent stay at home without stressing about affordability shouldn't be reserved for the wealthy.

But he swears it is an improvement! I agree the baseball caps were actually far more flattering, strangely. I am looking forward to finding out more about the woman going to meet the virgin in Israel she has been corresponding with for 7 years, the guy who says he knows everything about women.

Actually the nationalities are the other way around, the former military guy's girlfriend is Vietnamese, and the deaf guy's girlfriend is Filipino. The situation with the young widow is heartbreaking. She is so deep in her grief she can't see what a bad idea all of this is -- the Romanian influencer boyfriend, being on 90 Day, carrying her husband's ashes everywhere, wanting to be proposed to after 4 months of dating, the spray tan apparently done in someone's kitchen... Grieving people all heal at different rates but this isn't the way. Also, I have to admit that deciding to live in the same apartment building as my ex a la Jazmin when I was engaged to someone else is 100% something I would have done in my 20s. But Jazmin is in her 30s. She's a one woman telenovela! Also, Gino's hat game has moderately improved. I made my husband watch last night with me and he recognized Gino immediately: "Isn't that the man who wore baseball caps, and when his insane girlfriend yanked one of his head, he just pulled another one from his bag like nothing had happened?" Yes, honey, that's the man.

My husband and I were friends (and frenemies, occasionally) for years before we got together and even then we were super careful in how we progressed our relationship once we decided to give it a chance. This year will be 18 years I've known him, nearly half my life, and I am still learning so much about who he is, and the life experiences that made him the person I love. Our long-term friendship is the bedrock of our marriage. I fully understand that people can have very successful marriages after knowing each other only a very short time, but for me it is a no. There are too many chances to find out big things you don't like and can't live with after it's too late. Marriage is a high-stakes proposition, and I am naturally a pretty risk-averse person.

Untrue. https://www.timesunion.com/hudsonvalley/news/article/unhoused-veterans-displaced-migrants-fake-18107182.php

I'm going to go with the NYPD on this one for the time being -- if they say it was dangerous, it was probably dangerous. There have been other witnesses who back up that it was the paparazzi creating the problems, not the Sussexes' drivers. Whatever it was, it wasn't good and shouldn't have happened. I would hesitate to say "oh this is obviously fake" until we know more. It doesn't hurt to hold off on assigning blame or severity until there's more info, but jumping to conclusions rarely has any good effect except to give yourself a hindsight "attaboy" slap on the back if you happen to get it "right." This ABC 7 (local NYC news) article from today has a bunch of conflicting information, which is understandable considering it was a weird situation: https://abc7ny.com/meghan-markle-paparazzi-nyc-nypd-prince-harry-midtown/13264664/ Again, just my two pennies. I expect a better and clearer timeline will emerge. But 100% agree we have FAR bigger things in the world to worry about than if two rich people were made to feel unsafe without necessarily being unsafe.

This is such a weird story. I mean, it sort of isn't -- paparazzi relentlessly pursuing their prey, not caring who's in the way. But the way the NYC mayor is talking about it, it makes it sound somehow not nearly as bad as described by H&M, and still pretty terrifying. I find it hard to believe that there was somehow a 2 hour car pursuit in Manhattan -- LA is another matter. Lots more space, lots more freeways. Manhattan? No. I've been stuck in the back of too many taxis in NYC in bumper to bumper traffic to believe it. However, the mayor didn't deny there was a pursuit at all, and said any length of time driving recklessly -- which he said the paps were doing -- could result in serious injury in such a densely-populated place. On the other hand, I don't think I've seen anything that says the entire pursuit was in a speeding or out of control car. It sounds like they were followed for a long time around the city while they tried to ditch the paparazzi. That sounds irritating, and the near misses sound scary, but there's just a lot of questions I have still. But I can see how Harry would be understandably freaked out by the experience -- even if nothing big happened, it's a callback to what happened to his mother. And yes, I think they're being drama queens, even if I get why Harry blew it out of proportion.

AOS does what it says on the tin: it is an adjustment of status. For example, my husband came in on an L1 work visa, which is a dual intent, nonimmigrant visa. He needed to adjust status to permanent resident status after we were married, so we filed the I-485, etc. Your wife will enter on a CR1 visa, which is an immigrant visa. There is no status to adjust -- she is already a permanent resident from the moment she is admitted to the US. Do what Boiler said and do a serious review of the process, and best of luck to you for a smooth CR1 process.

It looks like the plaintiff, Genna Ribak, dismissed her lawsuit. 😕 But there is a new one, and I will follow it. Thank you!

Sometimes it is best not to take makeup hype at face value, literally. Having read several articles and multiple reviews online of the lash-growing serum GrandeLash, I got a deluxe sample to see what it could do for me. I have light brown lashes, and I thought maybe a little more density and length could make mascara less of a need. Well. I used it one time -- one time! -- six weeks ago, before I read an article written by an eye doctor warning that the prostaglandin in the product can turn light eyes (green, blue, hazel) permanently darker. For that alone, I stopped use immediately. But that was only the beginning of my problems. First my left eyelid got swollen along the upper lash line, then my eye got goopy. I gave my eye a good wash and that helped, but mild swelling and discoloration has been waning and waxing for weeks. However the worst side effect is that an entire inch-long chunk of my lashes is just gone. Weirdest thing is that on that eye, the lashes that remain ARE thicker and longer, but on the other side, normal as always. Horrible. Supposedly the lashes will grow back but this is so, so weird. Luckily no one notices because of my judicious used of brown eyeliner and mascara, which give the illusion that the lashes are intact. Lucky to get away with my eyes still green.

I hadn't even realized that! Thank you. When I joined Alex hadn't even proposed yet, it was just something we were talking about. There was no apparent rush because he was here on an L1B. Now our I-751 window is opening in July which seems impossible -- didn't we just get married?

Today is the day I finally say goodbye to Santa Monica. Alex, my husband, has been in our new home for the last five days or so supervising the last bits of renovation and delivery of new furniture, and I've been staying with a friend in the interim. I told him I wasn't moving in until our new bed and crucially the new mattress arrived, and last night the latter arrived, a week late. So onward to Encino! I moved to Santa Monica in January 2020, before the world turned upside down. Our lives here were nothing like what we expected -- we thought we'd have this great beachy lifestyle, going to all these cool restaurants and bars, etc. But of course COVID. And once life started opening up again, we found we wanted really different things than before. We are homebodies now, and what our home is like means so much more to us. So we found a great house in a safe, still buzzy enough neighborhood, closer to my sister and parents. It is decidedly uncool, but as I teeter on the brink of my late 30s (birthday next Monday) I want very different things than when I was almost 35. I have made my peace with being who I am now, and if there's one blessing for Alex and me from the pandemic, it's that we've grown into our skin a bit more.

Backing up what @beloved_dingo said. You must take care not to run yourself ragged. It can be hard when we're caring for others to remember to prioritize our own health, both physical and mental. I know from your posts that you and your husband have a strong, mature bond -- lean on him, when you need it. He's there for you. Sending good thoughts to you and all of yours in this very hard time.

Should we ask more about this?

Yes! Also some of those "You'll never believe she wore this to the airport" clickbait links where women are wearing tight shirts over comically large fake boobies, or "55 Historical Photos that Will Chill Your Soul" and there's some thumbnail that looks a bit gruesome.

I've posted a few, some I don't think I can post on VJ. There's one I can only describe as a sort of nautical-themed phallus paperweight made from brass.

Yeah, I get ones like those frequently. I have a whole subfolder of screenshots of questionable ads from VJ.

On a whim, and after reading an article on Refinery29 or similar, I bought this: This was not a good idea. On me, at least. I ended up with what my husband called Hermione Grainger meets Ginny Weasley hair -- big, poofy, frizzy, ginger, and insane. I tried brushing it out and it got worse, so I tried (1) straightening it, which did not work and (2) using a heated blowout brush on it, which also did not work. Literally NOTHING was going to take the waves out my hair, so I shoved it in a ponytail. They did however wash out. So I can recommend it if you can figure out how to use it properly, unlike me, because those waves will last you at least 12 hours. 😕

Decorative is the only one I can think of. Our new home is going to be near enough to all LED as we can get (I think the porch light and lantern at the foot of the front stairs may be incandescent still). I resisted the change at first myself but in terms of efficiency and money LEDs make sense.

I see their arguments though -- if your job is to be a singer, artist, writer, etc., social media is a major way of getting your work in front of potential customers. I'm in the process of furnishing a home right now, and I follow a few local vintage and antique stores' Instas to see what's just come into the store. If your customers are looking for you on social media, then you are shooting yourself in the foot not to be on there. Husbands are hopefully forever, but let's be honest -- spouses come and go, but you still need to put food on the table. I have a job that doesn't require social media (thank goodness), but if it did, and a potential life partner asked me to give up my job just because he asked me to, I'd have to have some very serious conversations about why his desires come before my career path. I also don't think it's healthy for a partner to demand the other quit social media. It has to be your own choice. I left FB nearly entirely about 2 years ago, and completely 6 months ago. I have absolutely no regrets. Twitter is for DMing companies' customer service departments only, and I use Instagram to look at furniture, cats, Martha Stewart, 90 Day Fiance gossip and stuff about trains. My husband says I have possibly the most wholesome Instagram feed he has ever seen. I also know that the only reason I would ever stop using the app at his request is if he said it was affecting my mood negatively, and I agreed with him.

You did ask All I did was answer. Did you sort out your Instagram issue?

As someone with a diagnosed anxiety disorder, I understand too well how thinking "what if?" about everything can end up in paralysis. My therapist tells me that for most things in life, there is no zero or one hundred percent chance that a particular thing will or will not happen. Life is complex and things can go wrong, and being prepared to handle things going wrong is a good thing. However, being prepared can become a very bad thing when it stops you from living your life because you insist on a zero or one hundred percent chance. People here have told you that the likelihood of not being permitted reentry to the US on a valid AP document is pretty much zero. Go. Travel. Live your life. Don't get paralyzed by this.