laylalex

And

Philip K Richard? Philip K Nixon's-First-Name? Philip K Phallus? Not a fan, anyway. Not really my sort of thing.

Thank you for the vote of confidence -- even on my rattiest, nastiest days I don't think I descend to that level of self-centeredness. I think Ari is 30 or 31. I had my first real "I am out here on my own" moment when I was just a smidge older, and even then I chose to avoid the safety net. Without really giving voice to it, I knew I was old enough to at the very least try to handle things on my own. And when it wasn't going so well, I asked for the real help families can give their adult members, which is to say emotional support, not necessarily monetary support. Ari needs to get a job that isn't writing a travel blog or setting up an Etsy shop unless she can move serious product. She worked in a doctor's office before, she can do that again. Or any number of other white collar jobs that give her enough flexibility as a reasonably new mom. And Bini needs to consider what he will do once he gets his EAD that isn't "I'm an MMA fighter!" It's weird that of all the foreign fiances this season only Miona has an actual plan about what she's going to do once she can work -- and that's developing a makeup line!

I don't have an issue with Emily breastfeeding. It's her body and her decision to feed Koban that way as long as she wishes. And while I wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of my parents, there's nothing inherently "wrong" about it. Babies get hungry and they need to eat; breastfeeding is normal and no woman should be forced into the shame hut in the basement just because her husband doesn't like thinking of her boobies as anything more than sexy things. Breastfeeding isn't sexy (for most people), so doing in front of her parents is fine if they don't have an issue with it. Clearly they don't if Koban is 17 months old. My nephew is 11 weeks old, and my sister is finally getting the hang of breastfeeding -- like Emily, it wasn't easy to start with. She doesn't have a problem feeding in front of her husband or my parents if she has to, but she told me she isn't cool with having my husband in the room if she needs to take care of Kai, or most of her friends except her two closest ones who are also moms and have been giving her a lot of support. Whatever works for mom is what's probably right. I do think she was completely wrong not to sort out the bed situation before Kobe arrived when she promised she would. That looks like a double bed! Mohamed's whispery voice and vacant eyes make me think he's a budding cult leader. Yve needs to chuck that manbaby. Shaeeda is so sweet -- her being really nervous before she met the kids was adorable. She wants this relationship to work so badly. Unfortunately the relationship is with Bilal, who is a toad. I can't believe he didn't chew her out for put the pool cue chalkside down on the white carpet! Also, was that Bilal's "mancave" as advertised by the sign on the wall outside? If so (1) sorry excuse for a mancave and (2) I have no time for those kids of signs, which are strictly (as my friend Cait puts it) wine decor. Okay, I cannot stand Ari but I will say this. Ari is a princess in her family, and I have been accused of being a princess more than once in my life. It's probably true. When your family enables your helplessness, it can be hard to break out of it because no one really takes you seriously. Ari's parents chose a 2 bed, because they want her to be comfortable, and because they know they will pick up the slack if they have to, which they will. It's a way parents can continue to control their adult children. They think they're protecting their "baby" but are setting "baby" up to fail because they have never let her grow up, and when they offer more help because she's failing, the cycle continues. It can take a lot to break out of this if "baby" has never learned how to stand on her own two feet. As someone who did, it took me a lot of time and a very serious shock to grow up at last and break free, and I didn't even have a child like Ari does.

Just like we only get to read parts of the author's name here on VJ.

Some good news: https://www.axios.com/2022/05/16/abbott-baby-formula-fda-sturgis-michigan

My take is that because the harassment was based on a sex-linked characteristic (generally only men go bald, or significantly bald), this is sex-based harassment.

Until we know a bit more about the parents, I'm reserving judgment. The shooter might be very good at compartmentalizing and hiding parts of himself. My guess is they had no idea how deep down he was into 4chan and 8chan's soggy bottoms, drinking deep from the sludge of Lake Edgelord. I have a lot of sympathy for parents during the pandemic and how hard it must have been to keep their kids' online activity monitored all the time. My guess is this kid got radicalized in the past couple of years. It might have started as something that seemed funny ha-ha but he clearly became deadly serious. It reminds me of that quote from Rumpole (you know I have been watching a lot of Rumpole recently): "The greatest horrors of our world, from the executions in Iran to the brutalities of the IRA, are committed by people who are totally sincere." I've had that line flipping and squirming about quite a bit this week in my wee brain, like a fish dangling on the end of a hook.

He's an adult, so he should take ALL the blame, but what kind of parents allow this to happen? How do you not know you have a self-described white supremacist in your home?

Just terrible. The details of this are disgusting. 18 years old and already filled with that much hate!

I always say that it's great that there's so much room in this country that we can sort ourselves into places we'd rather be. I happen to like living here. Hope you have a safe and event-free move -- personally, I hate moving SO much, and now we're talking about maybe buying later this year. The market's finally starting to cool down so that not parking more money in real estate that we actually want to live in seems like poor planning on our part. We just didn't want to buy a home until he got his green card, and then when he did the market was peaking. But we plan on taking advantage of the coming downturn/correction. I'm not as crass as my friend who says, when there's blood in the streets, buy property, but I appreciate the sentiment.

But he's a genuine single man!

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/05/13/calling-a-man-bald-counts-as-sexual-harassment-uk-judge-rules.html

https://ktla.com/news/california/newsom-california-has-record-97-5-billion-budget-surplus/ Glad to see that providing inflation relief is a priority. It's great news for our state.

❤️ I miss my baby Tibbs every day. I'm sure First Miu and Tibbs are having a lovely time on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, sleeping in sunbeams, chasing toys, and eating all the treats. They'll be there for us when it's our time, too.

I think some of the issues with Miona and Shaeeda come down to them being sold a bill of goods by their fiances before they came here. Jibri told Miona they were moving to LA, but then changed the plans and said oops, I meant South Dakota. That's kind of a big difference, and for a woman who'd grown up in a city, that's a big difference. Plus she's a makeup artist (or "MUA" if you're Ben from Before the 90 and you're talking about the woman who put bronzer on you), and there's kind of more job opportunities in LA than Rapid City if she wants to use her training. LA is a softer landing to some extent, and if my husband told me we were moving to London and then whoops we actually ended up in his tiny town for more than a short stay I would not be happy. Bilal is one giant walking, talking red flag with the words "B GR8FUL" on it. He represented himself in Trinidad as a man with big spending ways. I do not blame Shaeeda for worrying when she saw that house -- if he spends all his money on clothes and watches, but can't maintain his own home, what does that say about his financial prudence? Given that she won't be able to work for months, that's very understandable. I suspect she had a pretty middle class life in Trinidad from what we've seen so far, which could explain her being surprised and her mom laughing her butt off at the state of the place. Bilal is so unbelievably rude, grading her on her response. YUCK. My husband watched the bits with Patrick and Thais with his head tilted and eyebrows knit in grim fascination. "What kind of person thinks this is love? This is paranoia. This is mental illness. This woman will destroy him." Thais is even worse than Jasmine with her "EVIDENCE REPORT!" demands. I hope the M-hole brother drives her INSANE and she leaves.

Today my husband was talking about Listerine and mouth abortions when we were in the car and when I didn't laugh I had to tell him: too soon, sweetie.

My husband qualifies as being in the crazy zone today. He is hot (to me) but today... ugh. We were out running a ton of errands and the second to last was for us to swing by his old co-worker's place to pick up a polarfleece he'd left in the office and that she'd found. We're almost parked when out of nowhere this skateboarder flies AT my car. I was so shocked, but it became clear quickly he'd done it on purpose as the guy tried to do the same thing to another car when it didn't work on me. Alex was FURIOUS. Like steam coming out of his ears furious. He unbuckled his seatbelt and threw open the car door and I had to physically restrain him from going out and pounding the guy. Al was ranting about drug addicts trying to hurt his wife or traumatize her, and how he couldn't promise he wouldn't have kicked the you know what out of the guy if I'd actually been hurt or if he'd hit the car. Honestly? Not impressed. I don't need all this super macho stuff, and I do not need my husband going to prison for the sake of a ding in my car. I appreciate the sentiment of him wanting to keep me safe but not the caveman ug-ug big man protect little woman bit. I love him but really unnecessary. Rant over!

The combination pill really messed with my body when I was a teenager. I was taking it first for acne, and then when I got a serious boyfriend my parents doubled down on the importance of birth control. I pretty much had a pill every morning with breakfast and didn't think anything of it. But I'm a migraine sufferer, and even though that wasn't supposed to get worse with this particular pill, it eventually did. I tried another combo pill, and if anything I felt worse, so I swore off all hormonal methods for a while. (Even better, I swore off that serious boyfriend for the rest of my life!) I knew the mini and micro pills were options for me, but I was too freaked out by the experience to try again for a while. But when I was on a year abroad, I had the chance to talk to a sensitive, well-informed medical professional at the university clinic. Basically, in the US I had been treated like a child who needed to be talked down to by doctors, but in the UK I was an adult, and treated thusly. It was some trial and error, but I figured out what works by paying attention to my body, and by being supported by someone who respected me to understand my body since I'm the one inside it. Even then, it's so easy to mess up. You can have the best of intentions and you miss your daily alarm, or you take it as directed and something goes wrong. Or you're dealing with drama in your life, and you forget because you're distracted with your life imploding. That's what happened to me. I'm still not a fan of hormones for me, but I am back on a low dose pill. I'm very, very careful now because, well, I'm a hell of a lot older and my life is far more stable. I also don't want to be a mom, and I need to prioritize that in terms of my health. I'm also quite aware that things can go wrong, even when you're trying to make things go right.

Quiz time! Where do you fall on the Hot/Crazy Scale? https://www.idrlabs.com/hot-crazy-scale/test.php I myself inhabit the Date Zone. Basically because I'm pretty neurotic and have an intense fear of abandonment, I end up a little too crazy. I'm not so sure I'm as hot as the quiz says I am but I will take it graciously.