Anitafeliz

five star advice

Hey I thought I was Mrs mozart ???? (yea my hubby would love that)
You've been the first person to call me rubia since I left but you have definitely been there for me more than anybody else has and I definitely appreciate that ?????

I agree with you I get tired of seeing certain people talking ? And then going on my profile "stalking" me. I wish we were allowed to block someone if we can't get along with them so they can't see anything we say and can't view our profile at all. But instead we can only block what they say (mod can you change that) My husband is here as well and I come on here to help and give advice to people going through the same thing as me. Vj has been extremely helpful even know there are some rotten eggs I have made friends along the way so it has been worth it for me ?

I personally dislike people that come one here ask for advice and then get mad when the advice is not what they want to hear...
Then there are the folks that follow certain members just because they dislike them and always poo poo all they say...
There are issues...
BUT for the most part thanks to VJ my husbands here ....All My info and guidance I get from here ...I have made valuable friends and we call each other and or communicate through FB or Whatsapp....
I like this site and when I get reprimanded I just analyze and see what I did wrong. And I ignore the people that bait me to argue just because its more important for me to be on here to help my spouse than to go into it with people that don't have anything to offer me.

So much unnecessary panic in this thread.

I personally dislike people that come one here ask for advice and then get mad when the advice is not what they want to hear...
Then there are the folks that follow certain members just because they dislike them and always poo poo all they say...
There are issues...
BUT for the most part thanks to VJ my husbands here ....All My info and guidance I get from here ...I have made valuable friends and we call each other and or communicate through FB or Whatsapp....
I like this site and when I get reprimanded I just analyze and see what I did wrong. And I ignore the people that bait me to argue just because its more important for me to be on here to help my spouse than to go into it with people that don't have anything to offer me.

the above is not recommended as it is not peer reviewed - one could wind up with bad advice that way. it is best to use the forums for advice instead of private message.

In my very honest opinion, keas gave you a well thought out, tactful, intelligent answer. Your reply made it obvious that you are defensive. You took it as a personal attack on your intelligence and ability when nothing of the sort was even implied in keas reponse.
Then you're annoyed the thread is moved appropriately but mention it very passive aggressively.
My suggestion is not to take everything so personally. Since "you" can mean "you personally" and "all you people in general" and nuance can be hard to interpret in forums, having a thick skin and the ability to let what seems like negative personal comments roll off your back, is a boon.
Moderation on this website is not done lightly. Generally is from reports from other members as mods do not read every thread.
On VJ we have an age old train of thought, we help if you are willing to help yourself. We also dont tend to answer if we dont know. I would rather not give someone the wrong information if I am not sure of the answer. I also am not going to spend my time googling answers for people either.

I've been here a little while and I am on a number of Facebook groups as well. As far as some people seeming rude and condescending, for example with your comment about Google, I can understand in some instances. People will come and ask what is the phone number for NVC or USCIS...really? those are things that are easily found with a Google search. It's frustrating to answer questions like those over and over especially when you the person trying to help is going to Google it to answer. Also, the guides are there so asking individuals to give you step by step instructions is also frustrating sometimes. Sometimes, for those who are on the site for a very long time they know who the "repeat offenders" are....people who constantly are unwilling to do anything to help themselves. Sometimes, as a "newbie" you see something but you dont know the history. Most people try to be helpful and nice and since everyone here is human we all, also have our bad days. It is a large and public forum, you will find all sorts of personalities and characters. You will find some meanies naturally. Best not to take any of it too personally since neither parties know each other anyways. Ignore the random chatter, get your information and do your thing.

She's probably assuming that if you were in the car with USC's when coming in, at some point you must have said "Yeah I'm from here" or something along those lines. Now if you had said you were being smuggled in the trunk and added in details of never being able to talk to a CBP officer, she may not have jumped to a conclusion that the only way you came in multiple times was by saying you're from there.

With that said, if she said that, then it's in the system to not let you in the US again. Straight up, no questions asked. You can't prove what you did or did not say, but what they say was said, REGARDLESS if it was said or not, trumps your word any day.

I'm sorry but the path for you to be in the US has ended.

The fact you managed to get BACK illegally into the US after being marked as inadmissible after spending 27 years of coming in and out illegally is one of the things that's wrong with our immigration system.

Ignorance of the law is EXCUSE.
Breaking the law YET again entering illegal....does not look good. especially since you know you are banned...

Just like most groups of people have gone through in history, including other immigrants to America? You think that any very different immigrant group is really welcome with open arms by everyone in any country?
The best thing you can do is integrate, just like everyone else. A good way to not be accepted is to keep insisting you are so different and everyone better look at you and pay attention to you in your difference. The more people see how ordinary you are, the less hate in their heart they can have. The more loudly different you try to be, the more alienated they are going to be.
In my opinion living in an area that is 95% white except the nearby Reservations and also being near a refugee resettlement area, the biggest issue with integration is the refugees insisting on being separate than the community. They've got to have their own food stores, coffee places that women don't feel comfortable in, and still wear their native dress. It is a free country so they are allowed to do that, but the less interaction the 95 or 99% gets with them, the less they get to see them as fellow human beings.

That's what I want too, but is that even possible at this point? With all these terrible people coming out of the wood works I'm starting to feel like its not possible for us "all to just get along". How do you get along with people who want to kick you out of the country you live in, or who want you dead? And I agree, we do need to act. The first thing we need to do is let these people know we WILL NOT lay down and be quiet for them. We have to stand up for ourselves, take up space and let them know we're not going anywhere.

Why did you have interviews in Mexico when your timeline says France?
Wow, 27 years illegally in the US. I'm assuming you've been working, paying taxes, driver's license etc during this time? The US system really is broken when someone can stay on the radar, illegally for 27 years...

lol you're right ofc! How the??!!! Wasn't expecting anything until earliest next week Keeping fingers crossed for yours too Dorryyy

Holy cow! Just got text messages with receipt numbers... That just took 6 days from when they received at Chicago lockbox

I wrote my husbands Bday in error instead of 4 for April I put 5...I brought a revised form for him they said it was ok.
I would take a revised one incase anything is asked of you.

I've seen plenty of posts here from people who have used their I-485 NOA to indicate to CBP (at checkpoints) that they are currently in a period of authorised stay.
That being said, given the current climate, if an alien, legal or otherwise, can avoid these checkpoints then it would probably be an excellent idea to do so.

My doctor even had ipads for loan so you could skype with a partner if they were far away or so you could see your baby if they got flown to a far away NICU. Something to think about...

I have to disagree with this. THIS is the kind of mindset that gets you scammed. The "well I love them, so I'm going to do it!" mindset. Love is NOT an objective feeling, it can completely blind someone from seeing that maybe the person they love isn't very genuine. That "gut" feeling you could have, could end up being completely over ridden by the love you have for someone.
That's how you get so many people who send incredible amounts of money to their boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance and don't realize something might be up. While some people may say that they were stupid for doing so, at the time of doing it, the USC did it out of love.
We've had people on VJ who have done things out of love, only to be ditched before K-1 interview, or even in one case in the Philippines, the foreign fiance told her USC that their interview was denied based on not enough evidence, a couple of weeks later the USC contacted the embassy asking what more would they need, he thought their case was solid, only to be told that the foreign fiance NEVER showed up to the interview, so it was denied. When he confronted her, she pretty much said bye and blocked him out for no more communication.
People can tell her what red flags to look for, she can state her story and people can tell her what things might be red flags that she might be too love spelled to see.
With all that said, there are plenty of people here on VJ that will and have attested to their fiances/spouses being the most amazing thing to ever happen to them. Not all of VJ is scams and sadness, but those scams and sadness should help people be aware of what's out there and NOT just rely on the "But I love them!" feeling. That's what got those sad post people into the situation in the first place.

I'd be careful.

If the mutual friend you met him through is related to him or from his home country, this could just be a set up to get him here.

Marriage talk before meeting should be a red flag. How long have you guys been talking or dating?



As for scams, anyone at this point can be scammed. You have to look at the sum of all the things.

One of the reasons that women get scammed a lot by MENA country men, is usually because of money. The men usually can't get a tourist visa to visit, or don't have enough money to be the one visiting, so it goes onto the woman to be the one to meet the man, then eventually she finds out that it's quite costly to keep doing all of this, to the point that some people will just meet ONCE because the cost is too high, but then, she misses him too much, he tells her how much he misses her and would do anything to be with her, and then viola, K-1 visas get talked about and a while later he's here in the US.

You could go meet him and see how you feel. But remember, if he's TRYING to scam you and he's good at it, you'll probably just end up love smitten and not realize that you were essentially seduced into playing the role of the person who will get him into the US. Some people scam and keep it going until naturalization or their 10 year green cards, so they spend YEARS upholding the facade. Usually the person being scammed is either floored by it because they had no idea, or they're able to piece together why it all made sense when it happened.


I agree with trusting your gut. I don't think I've ever once thought my husband was out for a scam or anything like that. I think maybe I made jokes about it, but never put any true thought into it.

If you are worried, then take it slow. If he agrees to take it slow as well, maybe even have a Long distance relationship for a while AND NOT at some point try to speed it up, then you're good. You can be in control on how fast the relationship moves and DO NOT let him try to convince you that it needs to move faster. Some guys will say "Oh yeah, sure let's wait a while" and then after just a whole month, start sweet talking their way into that long while being sooner than thought.

Thank you so much Ana I will try my very best! hahaha
I will definitely stick around thank you. Good luck fellow November filers!

All it proves is that he is kissing someone's derriere with his name on it and it doesn't have to be you (in their mind).
It may show that you love him but not that he loves you and with Ghana thinking everyone is using their USC for a green card
it really won't help. Even if he had your name on him it won't make much difference.
Having said that I don't think there is any harm in submitting it with a little love story note if you want to or a relationship
timeline highlighted with varies photos, events, milestones. That should have been front loaded with the initial petition.
A front loaded petition and lots of face time is better, though we see how both also frequently fails in Ghana.
Not sure what is going on there but the returned cases are ridiculously high.

Thats so true too! I heard too much can hurt you. Thats a good idea writing the note inside.

I-485, I-765, I-131 Sent November 6th, Received November 8th. NOA1 November 21st!