Tezy

Yup your right. In my haste I copied a post that I use over and over to answer this same question but normally it's used in the Philippines sub-forum and therefore I neglected to change the references to the country. My bad.
Just the same everything is still the same whether from Timbucktoo (it's a real city in Mali) or wherever.
Thanks for the catch.
YW. Safe travels and btw thanks for sticking up for me.

Just want to say thank you to everyone for being so understanding and supportive. I joined several facebook groups seeking help there as well, and I wasn't welcomes so warmly by all. Many people criticized me for not having more than enough income on my own before petitioning my fiancee. Yes, it would be much better if I was not in school and working full time, however, neither my fiancee or I want to wait another 3 years while I finish school and settle into my new job. With that said, I haven't been irresponsible with this planning either. I am well aware of what I am getting into and am blessed to have such a wonderful family that will stand by us help her non only financially while I do my student teaching, but will also be there for her to support her transition to the new life here. They actually are fine with her not working right away and prefer it like this because then she has time to not be stressed about a job and become more overwhelmed than she needs to be. So once again, I just want to say thanks to everyone, even the veterans on this site, for not making judgments about me, the kind of person I am, and the situation I am in, and instead, having good faith and providing as much knowledge and emotional support as they can impart, because, let's face it, everyone here has been through this or is going through this, and we all need that extra pat on the shoulder to let us know things will be okay. Thanks everyone!

Sorry couldn't wait, too relieved to finally get here; hope my notes were cleaned up enough. Exhausting few days freaking about pending interview that took 10mins. They didn't seem to look at a ton of supplemental evidence but I absolutely do not regret at all preparing thusly. Going to bed if possible. Hopefully post can help some.
TL;DR -- Son of a biscuit, sweet baby cheezits, hallelujah…VISA APPROVED!
Dated several months, got engaged, met, filed K1 and now shes pending here. Thank you to VJ community for the help, answers, links, friendship, patience, hints and solidarity. Gravitas. Its so refreshing from having to explain everything to everyone else IRL, and on VJ everyone just 'gets it' and everything seems so much more natural.
Haven't been so relieved/liberated except maybe when I managed to get 100% debt free and escaped my last company(really the last boss, 6 changes in 3 yrs)

So yes it's just the 1st the first leg of the journey.
While had to wait….tried to LEARN, sift through the noise, search and contribute to community.
Special thanks to @{tboneTX ,anh map, jimvaphuong, shauneg, zeta054, frontgear, VN subforum…many others}
Now onto AOS/EAD/AP which I haven't delved into too much (didn’t want to jinx / get hopes up / get too far ahead of self)
For those not interested, thanks for visiting. For those interested heres my brain dump of what my approach/experience was(verbose but tried to have more context and be comprehensive ):
--probably overkill but I was determined to be sure wasn’t cause I didn’t so something …etc.

My What I did, and How and Why I got here.

Basics:
Paper age difference (13 yrs, inaccurate/missing birth records in the past are notorious in our country)
Began correspondence 2012, circumstances stopped it, due to her (I won't let her forget it ).
We reconnected in summer 2014. Arranged travel / engagement party March 2015 spent 24 days abroad, filed May 2015, so just 'met' ONE time….for 24 days.
Neither of us ever married, nor have kids.
Introduced by relative of hers.
I am privileged enough to get paid well enough for what I do that I should be able to support us both and meet fiscal K1 requirements.
No Criminal record. No previous K1 submissions. Aside from this I would consider relative standard/vanilla case….@ a high risk Consulate.


My approach is VJ Is a 'DIY' site but this is seriously personal so I'm invested in learning / understanding as much as I can.
Not sure why some people instead of DIY want it to be 'do it for me' or get away w/ submitting the bare minimum. Some people seem to invest more time in trying to provide the least when just easier to do the whole thing. I didn’t have time/energy for that.
I rather have the knowledge and documentation readily at hand vs deal w/ RFE…et al for something as important as this.

Brief background
I was having a difficult time at my company and particularly my new boss/reorg. I wanted out desperately. I wanted to use my vacation, to leverage PTO to travel took Mom Home for New Year before I left and got new employment.
Came back several weeks later found a new job luckily and happily put in my 2 wk notice to escape.
Unfortunately after this, reconnected w/ fiance and then had to return to meet 2yr physical requirement….luckily new employer was very accommodating and let me burn all my PTO.
Left last company to destress and starting this journey didn’t help so I tried to approach it this way and luckily kept the stress in check largely thanks to VJ. Being prepared as best as possible and not freaking about every minute variable. Staying in the 'present'. Controlling what I could and prepared as could be for what I couldn’t and not freaking out until something happen. Pivot, adjust as needed and carry on.

Need to work out K1 vs K3/CR1/IR1?
TL;DR -- We decided to go K1 instead of K3/CR1/IR1.
Got some consults w/ local immigration attorneys. Concurrently discovered VJ. Researched USCIS / Embassy/Consulate/D of State to corroborate all the sources
Spoke to my fiancé and asked what she thought re K1 vs K3/CR1/IR1 timing.
Not quite as young as I used to be and we would like to try to start family sooner than later and also prefer healthcare here.
Corroborating K1/K3 and what prep may be required for travel/trip either way….opted for K1
Quickly decided that K1 was better for us to be together sooner than prolong the distance for us. That’s the decision for everyone couple to make on their own but I have no doubt it was the best for us. Figured the extended paperwork once here together was something I would handle better anyhow.

Do I need/want legal/professional services help?
TL;DR -- I canvassed local options for support help /estimates
DL'd all the forms to review them to know what to expect. Went a few runs with them and reviewed examples. Aside from stupid questions felt rather comfortable w/ them in general.

Got attorney fees estimates for K1 assistance ranging from $2500-5000, not including filing fees, shipping…etc.
After reviewing forms and process particularly on VJ …I asked myself WTH would I be getting for my money?
I understand every professional has the right to charge what they want for those services…but I tried to break down how much work and was like how much $/hr would you charging me for what?
Even if I got the services most of the 'work' is unable to be done by others. I understand the time value of money, but were they saving me any of MY time? My case was legit, standard and by the book.
I had the info, papers and docs to assemble, $2500-5000 was too incredulous for me.
I know our Consulate was a higher standard so there was concerns there, also possible length of courtship and limited number of physical visits/meets…but other than that a very vanilla case. Any lingering questions I had were like should I use staples / paper clips and mundane stuff like that. Other questions were specific to my country, like addresses and naming and things that don't necessarily conform to US/Western standards. I did not get a confidence level that any local offices would be too familiar with my country as mostly only had experience with Mexico maybe Can.

Traveled Abroad
TL:DR -- I burnt all my PTO and flew my butt over there. Upon hindsight had I been aware was possible, I would have gone for less time and returned for Interview.
Went abroad 3.5 weeks, took pics, visited and spent a lot of time with her fam to get to know them and them me. Should have done a better job w/ pictures. Somewhat overwhelming. Very large fam. But they were all very warm and welcoming. Was great.
Had engagement ceremony.
Visited my cousins and took them on a trip together for fun. Fiance got on with cousins splendidly.
Set up Wifi Router, which was a huge blessing for improved /continued communication for us and her family when she comes abroad.

Professional Services
TL;DR - I opted for some 3rd party visa services support due to difficult Consulate and peace of mind and local Consulate support.
I discovered a 3rd party service, First Consulting Group. http://ditrumy.com/ Localized in very large VN communities in CA
They charge $500 to get to the Consulate stage and $500 after to close out the K1/interview portion. I believe you get a discount if you want further AOS type services. $1000 was fractional to what the other local services were. I took a gamble and went with them out of fear and wanting some peace of mind/reassurance. Mostly wanted some hand holding for my fiance over there of which I would be of little help. After some communication and expectation problem, I am satisfied w/ their service.

I'm sure the fees can add up; luckily I'm in a position at this point I can afford them, I don’t think the filing fees are outrageous and FCGs rates I think are affordable for those that need them. One thing that attracted me to them was they had local offices here for me and there for her. I thought we could both get help, something much harder w/ a local attorney.

Also I wanted country specific help that I thought a local person may not be as familiar with. I was aware my consulate could have more scrutiny, local bureaucracy and subject to higher double standards.
Upon hindsight I think I would not utilize the first half of service as that’s pretty easy and mostly all stateside.
But having support there to get translations and certified copy, interview prep and shipping…etc was worth that I think for those that want maybe some more peace of mind and something else to lean on. After all this time and trouble and fees a little help and $500 I figure is ok for me in the entire scope of things overall.
Also spent lot of time trolling VJ for info, which others may not want to (or shouldn’t) and just pay someone else to do it.
Updates aren't always as prompt as I would like and have to ask for them, and mostly dealing w/ staff in VN, while I wanted help, I didn't need as much but it had some timing/communication problems until I addressed it. Overall I think it was helpful in my region.

After a few wks of just winding down, I had almost all my forms prefilled and docs ready to go, engaged FCG and filed FCG after meandering w/ them a few wks.
Again this was difficult to justify services as I was already preprepped and doing all the document provisioning.
Post NVC was much less clear and actually appreciated FCGs support here. My fiance got value from them which was my main goal so worth it for us I think.


Filing:
Took a ~ 1wk for NOA1, 50 days to NOA2, 80 Days to get ahold of NVC and get numbers and another couple weeks to get Pkt3 and get Interview scheduled. Several weeks after got a hold of embassy, got physical P3 mail only in US.
To date my fiance has never physically received anything from USCIS/NVC/Embassy.
Only 2 dates open in < 14 days or about month out, so we took the latter interview date.

Fori129 I provided
g1145, g28, I129f, g325a him/hers, PP pages, my travel visa, boarding passes, copy/trans/orig Birth cert for her, intent to marry statements

For 134, I sent, maybe overkill but overall 2000+ pages
Went to UPS and printed out and had spiral bound books made w/ i129f pkg, NOA1, NOA2, irs transcripts (preordered most recent before site went dark, called to order older ones, 3 yr old is the max), w2s, emp verification letter, pay stubs
bank statements,
Every email, IM chat logs, FB chat logs(this is fairly difficult to keep up w/), Facetime logs(this is super
annoying to chronicle)
Engagement / wedding band receipts, wedding jewelry receipt
Money wire transfer receipts
Travel docs, receipts tickets of in country travel, hotel receipts, restaurant receipts, park admittance fees, ferry tickets, bus tickets, movie tickets, Dept of State TravelSTEP registration of travels, travel agency invoice of trip procurement
Photos printed from shutterfly , certificate of single status from Dept of Vital Stats
List of her family here


Fiancé during NOA2 wait did a lot of the stuff already for Interview regarding paperwork/certification/copy/translation. All the documents for her, like her family book, police/criminal records, birth certificate…etc. She had to do a lot of running around to do….
Due to low man on totem pole and burning all PTO to travel for engagement. I Did NOT attend interview nor rendezvous w/ fiance en route here. Had it been remotely pragmatic to do so, I would have but it personally wasn't for me.

Prior to interview,
sent chat/phone/wire transfer logs/receipts from 134 pkg until now
Sent list of my immediate family
Relationship timeline

Medical Appt @ IOM. Called 2 days later to pick up sealed results. Fiance told by IOM, FCG , even though the P3/4 say vaccinations required, that K1 visa processing no longer encouraging vaccinations and doing them here.(newer development)
So I guess NOW I Have to find about Civil Surgeons here :/

Fiance did a LOT of studying for interview prep, knowing stuff quite frankly she had no right / need to knowing yet.

INTERVIEW
This was pretty nerve wracking the days leading up. According to my fiance it seems not too bad but I would just say we were really lucky or something as I would still be prepared as heck but seems like it was not as applicable for our case. According to her, LOTS of others were getting blue slips.
Review: http://www.visajourney.com/reviews/view-dos-cis-reviews.php?entry=18278

In particular since I preprepped so much I should have front loaded my submission. Was worried about overwhelming them but consensus is high risk Consulate, this is highly encouraged.
-------------------------
While I was waiting:
Updated timeline, will do reviews for Consulate/POE/SS/Local office
Clicked about every link on VJ to try every feature on site.
Went from 0 to GOLD on VJ in ~ 6mos
Searched for ESL classes, free at a local library 1/wk; costs at local CC for more defined curriculum;
3rd party tutors
Investigate Pimsleur, Rosetta Stone, Duolingo,
media and subtitles
Searched for local church services for fiancé
Research air travel
Prices, finding flights w/ ample connection time for intake process by CBP
POE experiences.
Going to get terminal / gate maps.
Going to write directions/contact info
Found someone else travelling there and arranged to get a cheap 'burner' phone so fiance could call once in the states

Found a cheap mint Apple ipad Air2 (latest rev just wk shy from a year from model general release) for $250 on CL for her to Facetime her fam back home. (heck of a deal) (AND this way she doesn’t have to mess w/ MY stuff;))
Research automotive dashcam and got one to experiment, in event she gets her DL.
Planning on applying for Secured CC to build credit in addition to adding her to accounts/beneficiary
Planning on simple ceremony to instantiate AOS promptly; SS, marriage, SS name change, AOS/EAD/AP
Will Investigate living will / power of attorney
Post AOS, renewing her passport via Embassy here.
Reviewed countless guides/flowcharts, progress timelines, process timelines, embassy reviews, poe reviews, AOS reviews, posts…etc.
Reached out to other somewhat local VJ members with similar timeline, perhaps for local meetup and insights…etc.

Greetings Septemberets!
I am in the NOA1 September 25th-ish pools for hard copy (they texted me on 23rd) and it does look like (1) things slowed down the last week of September (2) A noted discrepancy in case progress occurred. At least for CSC. Texas is still slower though, sadly.
Either some case workers are faster than others and/or these case workers really do get to pick which case they want. The only way the latter makes sense is if the arriving I129 packets are placed in one place, NOT organized by exact arrival but perhaps a bin for that day.
Whatever the case, I am only speculating! But I did go ahead and try the trick others shared, of changing the last digits of your tracking number to see how other cases are faring. I went 50 cases behind me and most were for i129. I saw 6 consecutive applications where the 4th one was still not touched but the 5th and 6th were already approved.
Last week I was getting very stressed out but then I realized,that absolutely nothing I do will change the reality of when my case progresses to approval or even an RFE. I have decided to come to the boards less frequently now, only to get good tips and whatnot, and that has helped decrease stress! Of course I am happy for everyone moving along!
Buuuuuuut, refreshing my case page every hour and checking updates on this page ALL the time only makes the time crawl much slower lol!!
So for the sake of my sanity, I am taking a break and focusing on my work , my life and preparing documents for future! I recommend the same for others!

It will delay your process for sure because transfers don't usually happen quickly. She will have to contact the embassy in Montreal and ask that they accept her case. They will initiate requesting the case from London. Her case number will remain LNDxxxxxxxxx. Find Montreal and Immigrant visa from the list http://canada.usembassy.gov/contact/public-inquiry-form.html
Once Montreal receives the file, they will (should) send her a "packet 3" instruction letter of how to proceed. http://photos.state.gov/libraries/canada/303578/montreal/Packet3-K1-MTL.pdf

Hi! The exact same thing happened to me, I had to move from Trinidad to Germany after I had applied. My case got sent to Trinidad, so I had my lawyer contact the Trinidad and German embassy. What had to be done was, contact the German embassy and the Trinidad embassy to inform them both about what was going on. The German embassy then had to email the Trinidad embassy and request the case file transfer. Once the Trinidad embassy received the email, they sent it over to Germany and Germany sent us a conformation email that they had received the case. The case file number ABC2015656123 stayed the same. Hope this helps!!

True and because of my impatience I chose the extra hoops and fees so I can reside with my fiancé several months sooner than were he my husband. It was a calculated choice.

This comment tells me that you are realistic, that you understand what is going on, and you have the strength to make the right decision for you - not him. When you got him the lobster, I was wondering if you were being a push-over, but you were trying to please him and make him happy. I think you were doing that and buying him his clothes to try to make him more comfortable.
I know I have read on an Afghan related site some guys complaining about living in the US and telling others not to come. I'm not totally patriotic, but it still bothers me to read that. Sure, rent in Afg can be only $200 compared to the $1,000+ here, but they forget how terrible the job market (if there is one...) is in Afg!!!!
When I read comments that say, "Don't come to America! I'm paying xx and xx and xx, and I'm only saving $200 or $100 each month! No, stay in Afg and enjoy", I'm just thinking, "Really?" Not only are they doing better than me with saving money, they are forgetting that they had no job in Afg - how much money can you save when you have no money??? It calms me down when I see the other guys posting that they are coming to US for their kids future because they don't want them around violence and at least in US they have a job.
Now, Cuba is much, much different than Afg, but I wonder why the khell are they saying these sorts of things, so I can nearly relate with your frustrations. You need to keep to your standards. A better man deserves the kind of love you can give - he will value you much more. A husband should care about his wife's feelings, not dictate to her.
From what you posted, you understand way more than he gives you credit for ($1,000 for a BMW...sure...). If he can't show you the respect that a man who cherishes his wife can, unfortunately, you know what you need to do. I'm sorry. And you know what? Any of your friends better keep their "I told you so" comments to themselves and sympathize with you. They need to support you, not be happy that "they were right" (which they really weren't!) or else they are not real friends.
Love from Dallas

Re: Showboating: I think she means that by complaining about how the US is, he is in essence showing that the country and its standards are "below him", which can elevate the way his crew sees him (or at least he is hoping it will). I think it makes sense. People tend to dismiss and detract from people/things/situations in this manner when they feel a loss of control or if they are hurt. It is possible that he is doing this as a defense mechanism. It is possible he is doing this AND also just being mean and ill natured in general.
I DO agree with YOU though, that he is just out of line and needs to be checked. Many African and Latin men posting are trying to adjust to the states and they come from "macho" cultures. I beg oh! It's not okay to mistreat your fiance like this.

OP, I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through! Thank you for opening up; this thread has been an amazing read though - as many of us are going through the transition. Yes, the times are hard, and I'm sure most of the "significant others" coming to US are homesick. You're in a new country, have no job, aren't even allowed to work, may not know the language well... it is scary, and hard, and a huge stress alltogether. As a first-generation immigrant, I still remember that feeling of not wanting to even wander out of the house.
However, having said all that - there is a fine line and a difference between being sad, upset, homesick, unsure etc - and dumping those feelings on your partner in an aggressive or passive-aggressive manner.
Him coming to US was his decision. Him staying in US is his decision. You are not responsible for making him happy every single day of his life. His well-being is first and foremost his responsibility. Of course, we are all supportive of our loved ones, we want our loved ones to be happy and it's natural to try and help them on the way: buy warm clothes, take them out into a restaurant, cheer them up or commiserate even sometimes, be emotionally supportive, "I feel your pain" kind of thing. But at the end if he does not want to be happy here, he just won't be.
So: don't marry him unless he can say with confidence he wants to stay in US, he wants to try to succeed here, he wants to spend his life here. He must own this decision before you tie the knot. It is his decision to make. Otherwise you could spend your entire life and not hear the end of it, how he left everything behind for you and so you should be the one making it up to him.
Having said that, I know from experience that 1st year is the hardest. America's charms work their way on even most reluctant souls. Once you have a job, once you have to get out there every morning and interact with people, the cultural osmosis is inevitable. He will get used to living here. He will get more comfortable here. He will find if not friends, then acquaintances who will turn into friends, and he will see many ways in which living here is more comfortable then living on Cuba. He will have a chance to be happy here - with you! Help him not lose this chance by helping him face the reality and own it. He has made a decision to move here, he needs to start living here, not how he's still mentally living in Cuba neighborhood with friends.
p.s. Kudos to someone mentioning that he's a man unable to provide for his family right now, have a job, and/or own his "macho" role of the protector, provider, etc. It looks like by bad-mouthing everything in US he "scores points" with his friends at home, like "I'm so cool here, they are all idiots". But he needs to be scoring those points in US. The game's changed. He lives here. And it takes a whole lot of a different kind of courage to admit you have to start anew, and go all the way from the start: learn the language, get a job, get a new education of certificates, and start climbing the ladder all new again - but that's what is expected of him, that's how he needs to succeed, by facing these challenges.
p.p.s. I know he can't effectively work until you get married and receive the work authorization, but the best way to help is to figure out ways to keep him busy right now. English classes, or books, or any kind of house chores (best if those are ones you can't do, any of the "male" work), any kind of help for you parents or relatives - help him start scoring points here and be proud of any little thing that he does. Help him feel like a man. And don't hesitate to call out if he's throwing tantrums like a girl. (I hate gender-based manipulations myself, but sometimes they could be ever so effective...)

OP I would give sincere pause in regards to further AOS processing...etc.
If you/ others think; I'll file he'll get a job, things will get better. Go ahead and good luck on that double down..but this does not seem like a very good hand you were dealt.
If him being here w/ you hadn't improved your relationship and has gotten worse, how do you presume things would magically change after he gets tired from working all day? He hasn't seemed to show evidence that he'll welcome change all that well. God forbid he gets a job and be critical of every damn thing different about the US workplace vs Cuba. Things need to CHANGE first and he needs to WANT and make the Change.
I get if he were uber depressed thats natural. Homesick sure. But being a complete wingnut? I dont really understand where he thinks he has the leverage to be a complete jackhole. I realize hes here and not a 'guest' but hes not a prisoner either. Welcome to leave anytime. He made the conscious choice to come, its not an easy process for anyone.

We are so sorry to hear that you are having issues.
I agree with flex above. I was trained that everyone is a product of their micro-society. Meaning that they learn from everything around them.
Many people have commented without background information, or a deep understanding of his micro-society during his upbringing. Not to mention that no one knows your ages, family backgrounds, how long you knew each other prior to the mere 101 days the K1 process took for you, and how long or if you lived together in Cuba.
Without knowing that, one can only theorise. My theory is one which is partially contrary to what has transpired so far in this thread, yet his behaviour exhibits a high level of insecurity on his part. It might be due to his age or upbringing. Without all the fact it is an unknown.
My theory is: He is a "man" moving out of his home country, not able to work, not enough money to support you both, and in an unfamiliar micro-society. His machismo has taken a big hit due to this. How can he be the "man" of the house when it is not his house , nor can he afford the mortgage/rent right now. He cannot afford an $80 lobster dinner, or name brand clothing, so he feels insecure about that as well. He is being supported by his soon to be wife. I am sure that does not go over well with his friends in Cuba.
My issue is his response to this awkward situation. He is putting you and your life here "down" in an effort to elevate himself. Does that make sense?
My response to his behaviour would be a serious discussion regarding his place in your relationship right now and in the future. I can guarantee that getting him to discuss his feelings/emotions will be like flying a metal kite in a light breeze, but he might just listen to a few words you say. Understand that he most likely will not respond, or respond well, but give him time to think about it. Let it absorb, then approach him gently about it again. Try to avoid attacking him. He already is a tiger in a cage.
Don't get me wrong... He still could be scamming you, but try to let him know who he is to you, let him know that he is still a "man" that you love, even if he cannot support you right now. Emphasise "right now". Acknowledge that you understand that he cannot legally work for a few months. That it will be hard on you both, but that you have faith in him.
You showed him that you have more money than him right now... That most likely hurt his ego/machismo. If the issue is his damaged machismo, and you cannot deal with his machismo in all situations going forward, then you have a difficult decision to make.
If he is scamming you, or just a shythead, then your decision will be an easy one.
We wish you the best of luck, and a bucket full of strength, with however this issue is resolved.

I don't necessarily disagree with the advice that you should refuse to marry him and allow him to return home, but...
If you truly love him and feel that he is a man who you could love forever, then I would advise getting counseling immediately, either couples counseling or one on one counseling for yourself. Even 3 or 4 sessions will allow you to have the peace to make the right decision(s) in the coming weeks.
Like you, I was stunned when my wife said she was unhappy after 4 weeks in Santa Fe. When I asked what part of it she was unhappy with, she replied, "all of it." Like you, having a spanish speaking community with some cultural ties was not a factor in making her less happy. Like you, she directly stated that I was a large part of her unhappiness. The very next Monday I called for an appointment to see a counselor about early marriage issues. My wife is resistant to all psychology so this was one on one counseling.
What I learned: early marriage is all about power dynamics... who has it, who is using it, how power is shared, how power is manifested. Communications is always important throughout a marriage but is extra important at the beginning. What you say and how you say it is crucial. A counselor can guide you through all of this in just a couple of sessions. It will also arm you with the knowledge you need to make decisions, presumably with no regrets.
Best of luck to you. Understand you're not alone and that even though you might be getting good advice from friends or here on VJ, don't under estimate the need for professional advice.
p.s. My wife has now been here for 3.5 months. She is much better. Our marriage is on much firmer ground. I ended the therapy sessions after seeing him 3 times.

Happened to me, I moved in with my wife to stay with her parents, it was not good, I felt her parents didn't like me, we lived in suburbs, she didn't want to move out being the only child. We didn't have our space, her parents were everywhere.
Her parents kept telling her I married her to be here, she eventually filed for divorce.
Cost is important but living with in-laws isn't a good idea for marriage.

Hello, first and foremost, I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is a time you should be rejoicing by having your fiancé there, not going through all the stress and sadness. I don't think his behavior is culture shock. I am an American Citizen and I have been living in GHANA with my husband for the better part of 6 years. There are DEFINITE cultural differences here ...so unbelievably different than the US that I think I still might be in culture shock myself! However, that being said, the rants and hissy fits that he throws are NOT due to culture shock. YEs, I hate most of the food here and it makes me grumpy at times when I don't want to cook with the same things over and over again because of lack of variety. And YES I get totally miserable going out in the heat when I am not used to this kind of weather....I hate seeing dirt and rubble everywhere I look instead of green grass and clean sidewalks....BUT that in no way shape or form makes me be disrespectful to my husband. It does not make me think that I should not say thank you to my husband or appreciate every LITTLE thing he does to make me more comfortable here. His behavior demonstrates characteristics that seem to be embedded in him and I wonder how he was able to hide them from you for so long. It's one thing for him to point out a few things to his friends about what he does not like about the US, but to have such animosity towards the country, I'd be concerned with living with someone like that. Its not a healthy environment. I know you probably feel like you've invested so much time and money on this relationship already...but honey, the bleeding has to be stopped. Cut your losses and let him go back to his beloved Cuba. Wishing you the strength and courage to make the right decision. Best of luck!

Are you staying alone or with parents or friends , because when I come to America on k1 we stayed with his parents and it sucks. I I hate everything there I even didn't recognise my husband , I was mean sometimes , and I cry after because I didnt recognise the person I was , I hate food everything the house was crowded , I cry everyday because I see my hubby sad because I was sad trying to pretend to be happy for while so to cheer him up but I fail , I thought when I come to America I would be the happiest person in the world like growing up adult but no it wasn't , I wanted to go home asap , my inlaw they try their best but not for me. I missed home badly , I was thinking I am loosing my mind like hey I am in America land of dream but it doesn't feel that way why .people would kill to be here and I am ungrateful monster , then I cry but to go back home I would put my parents in shame and myself people would lough at me . I was becoming a monster , to save my hubby and family I wanted to desapear . But my husband act and we moved to our own place now I am happy I am free bird I have my own space. I am learning to love America I am sweetest and kind wife I treat my husband like a king , my mouth speak good things, I want to be the best wife I can be and happiest one . My husband is handsome kind and hardworking I love everything about him, I am kind and loyal person down to earth but home sick is the worst feeling in the world , if not for my husband passion I don't know how we will be , just be kind and find out what will work for you

Since he came on K1 and you haven't married, i recommend you let him go home and move on.
You dont want to spend your life trying to make him like the place/ or be 'happy'.
I came with K1 as well and I do understand, when i open my wife's fridge to cook, there was literally nothing i could cook because i wasn't familiar with the groceries here. and living in the suburbs being isolated was tough. but i learnt to get things done. i got a cook book and worked on adjust to stuff here.
i didnt really complain, i was obvious i wasn't happy though.
The extent he expresses dislike for the place is not acceptable.
Then again, i think you should communicate with him and let him know how his actions make you feel.
I use to tease my wife about a subject, and she didn't say she didn't like that.
We later went for counselling and she expressed how my 'tease' makes her feel, and i was very very shocked, because i did not know and she did not express dislike for this either.
so let him know, once you let him know and he keeps on doing so, then you have to advice yourself, this country is stressful enough by default.
Wish you the best.

When were you planning to get married?
I know it's only been two weeks, but my impression is that unless he gets his act together and tries to treat you with a bit more of respect, it's kind of useless to keep on going like this.
Sit down with him. Tell him you see he is not happy, and that he is free to go back to Cuba if he wishes - you'll buy his ticket. Don't be overly emotional. If he's in love with you, this will be a reality check.
My impression is that if you keep on feeding his ego, he will not bother to make any effort to make your relationship work.

First of all: stop the charity. He DOES NOT need clothes for over $1000 dollar (unless he brought no clothes at all). I am not making money at the moment and I'm relying on my husband for things I need and I would never ask him to buy me expensive things.
And you have to tell him that it doesn't matter if you're a couple or strangers: it's "please" and "thank you".
Stop trying so hard to please him if he's treating you awful, it only shows him that you're willing to take it and his behavior won't stop. He is acting like a child so treat him like one: set boundaries.
As long as you're not showing him that his behavior is unacceptable he is going to keep disrespecting you and will walk all over you. Put your foot down, you can do it! I hope the two of you can work this out.

I'm sorry to say this, but his behavior is not about being homesick. He is just completely disrespectful to you and you should stop serving him everything on a silver platter and bring him back to earth.

The OP didn't say whether he was on the consular premises for this interview, but it appears that he was not. The petitioner's presence can head these things off at the pass. This case refutes the spate of cavalier, misinformed, reckless, outright dangerous "advice" that's been prevalent recently in these forums about "it doesn't matter if the petitioner isn't there" and similar poppycock.

She can divorce you as easily as you can divorce her. You can't stop a divorce. My divorce was final in December 1998 but we are still in court fighting over things as of this month.
She can file for divorce and file to ROC with the waiver. If the divorce is not completed by the time she files she can request an extension by showing the filing of the paperwork with the court.
She could also claim VAWA as you are using her immigration status to blackmail her into agreeing to your terms on the divorce.
You cannot stop her ROC and you cannot get out of the I-864.
Stop worrying about her immigration status and get your life together.
And just because she may be in another country she still has the right to contest the division of the property and ask for spousal support. Don't think getting her out of the US will protect you in the divorce. Or if she stays and is not in status nothing will happen in divorce court, immigration isn't going to show up and arrest her, even if they do she can still contest the divorce from jail.

Okay- so you are right, if there is NO DIVORCE and you refuse to sign the forms she doesnt qualify (she doesnt meet VAWA, hardship etc)
However the part you are missing which several people have expressed (not directly) is the following:
Divorce can be initiated by EITHER party in the marriage. There is no such thing as one spouse stating I dont want it so its not going to happen. No one is required to be married to someone they dont wish to be. It doesnt matter if both parties agree to the divorce, once it is initiated (by either spouse) it is going to happen.
So if you do not initiate the divorce- what will happen is once your spouse realizes you wont be filing for removal jointly (signing the forms) she will be forced to initiate the divorce (if she wants to ROC). USCIS has procedures for situations like this. She will file for divorce and submit them proof the divorce is pending but not approved yet. Basically they will accept that proof and delay making a decision on her ROC until the divorce is final. She may end up going to Immigration court to ask for such an extension. Its complicated but there are provisions for it.
There is nothing you can do to stop her from initiating the divorce nor stop the divorce from happening. Period.
On a side note I believe in PA there is a mandatory 12 month separation period before a divorce can occur. Your choice is whether you want to initiate divorce proceedings NOW (because you know the marriage is over) OR wait for her. She will then decide to initiate them so she can ROC or she may decide she doesnt want to be an LPR anymore and still file for divorce but leave the country rather then applying. The decision to apply or leave is going to be up to her. There is nothing you can do to affect this beyond having conversations and stressing to her your desire to have her leave and the pros of a pro/con list of doing so.

How can you not see that it sounds like you're stamping your feet and throwing a temper tantrum? I can honestly see why this woman can't stand you

Please don't take anything I have asked as bashing you. I know it hurts trust me I do. But I am only asking to get to the root of what is going on. To plan your attack and do what you need to do.
Dear cry your tears now. Tomorrow is a new day and if you want to be with your husband and children you got to put on the big girl pants and fight this.
First your husband needs to call his congressman or Senator tomorrow so they can start inquiring on your behalf. Your husband could email the embassy and request a 2nd interview and that he is willing to fly over to meet with the CO with any and all evidence they may need. How long has it been since he has been back to see you all? Him coming to be there for a 2nd interview if granted could be vital.
Sorry for your pain. Please try to know we are here to help you and our questions are merely to gain knowledge into the situation. If you can see this through a strangers eyes you can see how this can look very bad.