brownbella

Do you understand how marriage fraud works? Fraud indicates the marriage was entered into to obtain an immigration benefit. A sham marriage. A marriage where your boss says you have to marry his immigrant cousin to keep your job. That's fraud. A marriage where a gay man marries a woman to immigrate, and both "partners" know its a sham, that's fraud. If there's money involved, that's fraud. Bad marriage? Not fraud. Loveless marriage? Not fraud. Abusive marriage? Not fraud. Marriage too soon? Not fraud. Cultural differences? Language barriers? Not fraud. Spouse prioritizing work/studies/kids over other partner? Not fraud. Those are just bad relationship choices. In the OP's case, he said his wife was cold since she returned from Europe, and she was more invested in her studies than him. Not fraud.
They got their I-130 approved- they passed the test of bonafide relationship. This couple acted like a couple. He didn't receive $$$ to marry her, and they lived together. Half of marriages in our country end in divorce. Judging from friends and family members, I'd say many of those marriages that end in divorce have the same story "he never loved me/she used me for my money". We've all heard the same thing from Americans talking about other Americans. Its called human nature!
However, its disturbing to see people on these boards want to get their ex out of the country just so they don't have to hold up their end of an AOS contract- that they willing agreed to! If 2 Americans get divorced, one partner doesn't usually buy the other one a plane ticket to send them back where they came from. Divorce is disruptive enough without one partner trying to send the other away...like an object...return to sender.

I'm glad to hear that you were able to successfully complete your process! Congrats! $5K-7K is insane. Perhaps it would be helpful to compile a list of free or low-cost legal service providers across the country and post it as a separate thread with a sticky for the forum. No one should have to pay that amount to do a VAWA case. Many nonprofits get grants specifically to offer these free services.

If you've been the attorney of record for over 500 members of this forum, then I truly commend you. How exciting to have had a 100% success rate, too.

Call your local domestic violence shelter and see if they (or your state coalition) have a staff attorney that can help you with VAWA, probably for free. As someone with over a decade of experience in the field, I see red flags all over your post. Emotional and economic abuse are real and absolutely grounds for VAWA. You don't need to get a PTSD diagnosis or listen to anonymous people on here with no experience in the field- get help for your actual situation. Domestic violence can happen in any family relationship, and its about 2 things: POWER and CONTROL. It sounds like your spouse may feel powerless going through this gender transition, so he is decided to control you to assert his power over you in an unhealthy way. Please contact a local DV program because you are worthy of help, deserve a healthy relationship, and will find better, more appropriate help there than on this internet forum.
Red flags:
1) Refusing to let you acquire legal assistance, blaming you for not fixing your status when you don't have the tools and info to do so.
2) Isolation from family (huge controlling red flag). Your family is in Mexico, you get along with your in laws, but he stopped communication against your will, regardless of whether they don't accept him. His poor relationship is not reason to isolate you from your relationships.
3) Isolation from community: You don't have a driver's license, but he won't take you out or help with grocery shopping. Other big red flags that he's controlling you
4) Ignore the victim blaming- "well, if you just called him by the right pronouns, he wouldn't scream at you". He is an adult in control of his behavior, and there's no reason for verbal abuse.
5) This is another common DV red flag- the abuser will manipulate you with children or pets, or try to strike bargains with you, or otherwise control you. "If you do this, then I'll get baby formula, but only if you do this. OH WAIT, you didn't do it, so its your own fault. No baby formula". That's not how relationships are supposed to work!
6) Clear abusive behavior to say you need to lose weight and use that as the excuse/manipulation (see above)
7) You need to fix his taxes/immigration- again, see above
8) Economic control- you can't legally get a job or driver's license, and he's controlling you by preventing you from doing so. But yet, its still your fault. You must be lazy- the problem again becomes you, not him. This is another way to make you doubt yourself and stay with him. (on vacation? Seriously? Who would ever tell a stay at home mom that's she's on vacation?)

Do you understand how marriage fraud works? Fraud indicates the marriage was entered into to obtain an immigration benefit. A sham marriage. A marriage where your boss says you have to marry his immigrant cousin to keep your job. That's fraud. A marriage where a gay man marries a woman to immigrate, and both "partners" know its a sham, that's fraud. If there's money involved, that's fraud. Bad marriage? Not fraud. Loveless marriage? Not fraud. Abusive marriage? Not fraud. Marriage too soon? Not fraud. Cultural differences? Language barriers? Not fraud. Spouse prioritizing work/studies/kids over other partner? Not fraud. Those are just bad relationship choices. In the OP's case, he said his wife was cold since she returned from Europe, and she was more invested in her studies than him. Not fraud.
They got their I-130 approved- they passed the test of bonafide relationship. This couple acted like a couple. He didn't receive $$$ to marry her, and they lived together. Half of marriages in our country end in divorce. Judging from friends and family members, I'd say many of those marriages that end in divorce have the same story "he never loved me/she used me for my money". We've all heard the same thing from Americans talking about other Americans. Its called human nature!
However, its disturbing to see people on these boards want to get their ex out of the country just so they don't have to hold up their end of an AOS contract- that they willing agreed to! If 2 Americans get divorced, one partner doesn't usually buy the other one a plane ticket to send them back where they came from. Divorce is disruptive enough without one partner trying to send the other away...like an object...return to sender.

http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/International-Taxpayers/U.S.-Citizens-and-Resident-Aliens-Abroad
"If you are a U.S. citizen or resident alien, the rules for filing income, estate, and gift tax returns and paying estimated tax are generally the same whether you are in the United States or abroad. Your worldwide income is subject to U.S. income tax, regardless of where you reside."
That website also says you must file in USD and gives info on how to convert.
USCs everywhere in the world have to file and pay taxes. Our tax dollars fund social programs that the USC can take advantage of whenever they return. Its only fair to pay into a program that you can then use once you're back in the US.

OP- its perfectly legal to get married and adjust status. She didn't arrive in the US to get married. She didn't bring a wedding dress, no one booked a caterer, no wedding invites were sent. As for the ridiculous suggestion that having sex is intent to have a child, which then translates into immigrant intent- seriously? That's so preposterous that I'm not even going to bother debunking it. Life happens. She visited, she got pregnant, you decide to get married now and be a family, that's awesome. I wish more guys would marry their pregnant girlfriends and support them instead of abandoning them!
Just get married and have her stay here. Enjoy being married, support your wife during the pregnancy, and have a child together here in the US. Once you're married, you can add her to your insurance. As a new LPR, she can also take advantage of enrollment in Obamacare, but she can't get free care. HOWEVER, it may be different because she's pregnant. I think pregnant women are eligible for emergency Medicare, but you can check at your local hospital financial assistance office.

If your parents are willing to loan you $75K, why don't you just ask them to be a co-sponsor? Its very common to have a co-sponsor for a CR1 visa. If you suddenly get a lot more assets, yes, that will negatively affect your financial aid/health insurance subsidies.

Not intending to be brutal, but there's 2 sides to every story. We don't know if the soon to be ex wife is likewise heartbroken. For me to leave my country and my family, move to a new country, and then realize my marriage isn't working...that would be my nightmare. People aren't things. You can't just return someone to their country if it doesn't work out. There's no return policy on a human being. The woman moved here, is studying, and clearly established a new life. I say this as the US citizen with a LPR spouse. If my marriage doesn't work, I will never try to ship my ex back- even though I'm the sole sponsor (no co-sponsor).
The affidavit of support is a contract that the petitioner makes with his/her government. Should the ex need help, that's not taking advantage of the OP or his parents. That's the contract they all signed and agreed to.

Dear friends,
I finally arrived home! I made my immigrant entry to the US two days ago.
POE at JFK was breezier than breeze. It took me about 7 minutes to finish up immigration. Upon arrival I asked one of the officers which counter to go to as a new immigrant and they have a special room for it. They have a Room 4 which I never visited before during any of my previous US trips obviously, as I was a non immigrant before. The two officers in room four could not have been nicer. They extended their welcome saying " Welcome back home, New Yorker!"
They asked me for the IV packet and my passport. The IV packet was crumpled but fully intact from its journey from Mumbai consulate to my address in India. I was nervous about that, as I had kept the rest of the documents in immaculate condition. But the officers dismissed my concern with wave saying it was actually one of the better condition IV packets they have seen. They did not take my chest x-Ray from me, which I was carrying in my hand luggage and guarding with my life, because of its unusual size, it did not really properly fit into anything. But the officer said as my medical report was fine they don't need the chest x-Ray. But he advised me not to throw it away and keep it till the GC reaches home, just incase. The other officer took my signature and finger print on a form which I guess is going to be used for the GC. One of the officers wrote my hubby's new address on the immigrant summary page next to his printed old address, as his address has changed in last ten days.
They asked me how much money I was carrying and were okay with my answer.
The only problem I faced was when I came to the luggage claim area. After 45 minutes of waiting, my luggage was nowhere in sight! And then I had to wait another hour just to file a missing luggage report with the airline. Talk about ruining a perfectly nice day! With so much delay at the luggage claim, I could only imagine what my poor hubby was feeling waiting outside for me to make an appearance in the arrival hall.
Finally I was out of there with just my cabin luggage. Even losing a whole bunch of nice clothes and fancy shoes could not dampen my mood as my man was waiting for me outside! We just looked at each other for few seconds, before he lifted me in the air, heavy backpack on my back and all, and said "God, you got heavier!" ;-) (well, I might have eaten one too many pastries in search of comfort during this long a$$ immigration process ;-)
The first thing I noticed about him was he has so many gray hairs now, while previously he barely had any ! "Effect of immigration process", he informed me. But oh well, all's well that ends well :-) and my kitty cat would agree who is cozying up to his mama as mama types this post.
I thank everyone on VJ for support and invaluable immigration knowledge I have gained in last few months reading up here.
Peace out,
MG

I read the whole post. He said she's in school at the moment, so she's clearly not ready to leave at the drop of a hat. She says she wants to go back to Europe, but it's not happening tomorrow obviously.
Sorry, but these forums and the immigration process are not all about feelings. Sure, I feel bad for the guy that his marriage is dissolving, but there's no need for him to try and jeopardize her status in the US just because their marriage failed. It would be better for him to focus on moving on and healing than to dwell on how to get back at her.

Compassion needs to run both directions. Some have no life to go back to, once leaving their own country to be with a spouse or get married in the USA. Other's have every reason to go back. Should we make a law for those that gave up everything to come here, and have no way of surviving back in their home country now be forced to return home because a marriage didn't work out? I realize this guy is hurting, and its real shame his marriage ended, but I also didn't see anything he said that shows fraud was involved. No doubt he should have waited longer before bringing her here and making sure the relationship was strong enough to handle what was going to be needed to make a marriage work. Some people just don't have the skills or determination to make one work. And just because there is a I-864 in place, doesn't mean she intends to use it in order to take advantage of the sponsors.

To me, its clear the marriage just didn't work. No fraud that I can see. I know Americans who've been married less than 2 years, and it didn't work out for them, either. Half of marriages in the US end in divorce, and if she's thinking of moving to Europe, doesn't sound like her goal was getting a green card to stay in the US. I'm sorry you're in this situation but I think you should just get a divorce and let it go. You and any co-sponsor are financially responsible till she's a US citizen, which is a minimum wait of 5 years if you're not married to a US citizen. You signed the affidavit of support contract, so fair is fair. I wish you the best in the future.

OP- its perfectly legal to get married and adjust status. She didn't arrive in the US to get married. She didn't bring a wedding dress, no one booked a caterer, no wedding invites were sent. As for the ridiculous suggestion that having sex is intent to have a child, which then translates into immigrant intent- seriously? That's so preposterous that I'm not even going to bother debunking it. Life happens. She visited, she got pregnant, you decide to get married now and be a family, that's awesome. I wish more guys would marry their pregnant girlfriends and support them instead of abandoning them!
Just get married and have her stay here. Enjoy being married, support your wife during the pregnancy, and have a child together here in the US. Once you're married, you can add her to your insurance. As a new LPR, she can also take advantage of enrollment in Obamacare, but she can't get free care. HOWEVER, it may be different because she's pregnant. I think pregnant women are eligible for emergency Medicare, but you can check at your local hospital financial assistance office.

OP- its perfectly legal to get married and adjust status. She didn't arrive in the US to get married. She didn't bring a wedding dress, no one booked a caterer, no wedding invites were sent. As for the ridiculous suggestion that having sex is intent to have a child, which then translates into immigrant intent- seriously? That's so preposterous that I'm not even going to bother debunking it. Life happens. She visited, she got pregnant, you decide to get married now and be a family, that's awesome. I wish more guys would marry their pregnant girlfriends and support them instead of abandoning them!
Just get married and have her stay here. Enjoy being married, support your wife during the pregnancy, and have a child together here in the US. Once you're married, you can add her to your insurance. As a new LPR, she can also take advantage of enrollment in Obamacare, but she can't get free care. HOWEVER, it may be different because she's pregnant. I think pregnant women are eligible for emergency Medicare, but you can check at your local hospital financial assistance office.

She may or may not being using you, but if you seriously believe that bad behavior is magically going to stop and everything will be roses just because you get married, you're delusional.
Take a step back and let me paraphrase what you'll probably be saying in 2 years...
"I had a very rocky relationship with the girl I was dating. She made me happy sometimes, but mostly she was selfish, insecure and immature. Totally inconsiderate and lacked common courtesy. It was her way or nothing, and if she didn't get her way, she would get very angry. Knowing all this I decided the best thing I could do was to make the relationship permanent!"
All the signs point to this ending badly for you. I hope you make the right call.

You have a 2 year old son, meaning you were together at least 2 years + 9 months of pregnancy. Let's round to 3 years...and she just recently defrauded you? I'm sorry to read the marriage didn't work out, but a 3 year+ relationship doesn't indicate fraud. Whether she files for VAWA is up to her, not you. I hope you can move on.

For those who are asking, "Why are you still with him?!" Abuse can be very, very complicated. I'm not justifying and even suggesting that she stay with him, but abuse is more than, "Oh, he just hit me. Guess I'll leave. See ya!" It's usually coiled up with emotional manipulation, too, such as groveling, bargaining etc the next day or what have it.

Lets face it. You're bitter, resentful, angry, discouraged and the list goes on. This is only hurting you. Get over it. Let her go. Leave her alone. Right now SHE is winning by ruining your life. Focus on your child and forget about her. She took advantage of you. GET OVER IT. Let her go. Karma will get her. Sorry this happened to you but you need to start living your own life now. God Bless

She defrauded you for immigration benefits after having a child with you? I'm a bit curious, Did you even consider your son when making those decisions?