THETIMEISNOW

I tried and after a short hold was able to get through....amazingly they changed the "on hold" messaging to Rolling Stone's...(I can't get no)..."Satisfaction"

COOLIO !! ! Thanks
I just told my husband 10 minutes ago I am tired of immigration clogging my brain. I can't wait to be done. Its hard to concentrate at work. Of course I have VJ up in the background... reading posts constantly, and now I am a ceac addict. not to mention babysitting my attorney
This process takes up so much brain power....

**** This topic is closed for TOS Violations, specifically :
Post Content intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a broad demographic or group of people identified by a unifying trait or characteristic (discrimination). For instance, racist or sexist content may be considered hate speech.*******
Op, I am sorry you had a bad experience.

And does that give you grounds to be racist towards people from such countries too?
Have you traveled to Africa? If you have, which countries have you visited and how long?
I have and I speak with proof. I have spent over 5 years in several African countries because of the nature of my work.
Again please desist from making hasty generalizations. Thank you!

And so are thousands of cases in the US everyday on domestic violence. You are on a forum dedicated to immigrants so you of course wont see issues regarding spouses where both are Americans..but just make the research and see for yourself. You will realize that from the research we are NOT so different from anyone from any of the countries we are so quick to judge harshly. American spouses are shooting at each other every single day etc. Does it make everyone here bad, NO! That is what I am saying, so don't support something you have no proof against or can't ascertain with facts. Thank you!

New to what?? You forget this forum represents less than 0.1% of the relationships in the world. So how dare anyone use that as a sample to make a base for an assumption. You are totally soooooo wrong my friend. No statistician nor anyone who deals with data and facts will make such an assertion. Please don't support something you do NOT know. Thank you!

Do you have proof to back what you are saying about the prevalence?? I have spent time in almost all the continents in the world and in several countries (except Australia) because of the nature of my work..including in Africa where I stayed in Ghana, Nigeria, South Africa and Egypt and I can tell you you are soooo wrong. As much as it is true the culture there varies from here, most people there actually have a deep sense of family and that explains why they practice the extended family system. The baby-mama, baby-daddy concept is soo foreign there where as it is soo common here. Divorce is almost like a taboo there. So I don't know where people get all these concepts about other cultures when they haven't even experienced it firsthand. I have a lot of African friends and most are very educated and in relationships and marriages that are very peaceful and have been going for over 10+ years.

It worries me when people make such wrong assumptions without facts. Where did you get it that - There is a higher likelihood of marriages between US citizens and people in so-called high fraud countries are likely to fail?? You are aware that Russia is a high fraud country too..so does it mean, it is advisable for American citizens to be wary of anybody from Russia because they might be phony?? I think you should desist from making claims have no basis or proof and which you have not thoroughly researched. Stereotyping and hasty generalizations have being proven to be very wrong all the time!

Hope your ok and your son as well. Pray to God! He will never leave you. GodBless.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. But, did you not read the warnings about the culture? I know there will be a quite a few of 'it can happen with men from any culture', but while that is true the prevalence does widely vary.
Maybe it would be helpful if you could talk a little bit about the red flags that you experienced or any doubts about him that you ignored?

OH HAPPY DAY ! ! ! !!
Just got the email that BOTH bills are ready to be paid !!! Gotta call the attorney and tell him I'll just pay now and I"ll send the docs to him to send with the bar codes. I am payhing him so he might as well do something...right ??
I am so happy ... Everything is flying through !

getting this error when I sign in to see if the bills are available..
This case is in the process of termination. Fee payments and online forms can no longer be accepted. If you believe you have received this message in error, or to resume processing of the case, please contact the NVC immediately. AND... thanks to the WIKI link...It just saved me a huge anxiety attack ( LOL)
do NOT panic. This is actually good news! If you just got your case number, then this message means NVC is inputting your case in their system. If you get this message a few days after case number generation, then it's a good possibility that NVC is invoicing your AOS bill. And if this message appears a few days after DS-261 acceptance, then there's a good chance the IV bill is being invoiced.

I am SO SORRY you are going through this pain. Thank you for sharing your story, and taking the time to help others learn from your life experience. Please don't put to much blame on yourself, and burden your soul with regrets. Unfortunately, people can fool us and we see what we want to see or hope is there. Love really does "hope all things" so we always hope our mates will be better. He has shown you that he no longer deserves that hope. Again, thank you and I am so sorry your knight in shining armor was really an idiot in tin foil (my dad used that phrase for my ex).

I believe your topic title is against TOS as it specifically and negatively singles out a group of people, Nigerians in this case.

Your story does not read like you were scammed for a GC but like you chose to marry a man with red flags who has no integrity
and is a cheater and a big jerk. Happens here in the good old USA all the time, nothing exclusively Nigerian about it.

He could have divorced you and ROC'ed without you but he remained with you and you ROC'ed him through it all,
knowing he fell off the turnip wagon many times. No, he will not be deported for cheating.
When we risk taking chances with someone who shows his true colors, then we have to be big enough
to be accountable for our own choices and not "warn" people of an entire country of people. It goes without saying that there are
good and bad apples in every country, race and ethnicity, nationality.
I can tell you that nobody reading your 'warning' will end their relationship, because everyone thinks their
marriage will last a lifetime.
No one can take thousands of dollars of your money over the years unless you allow it and go with the flow right along with it.
Your friends who also have cheating Nigerian men chose to stay with them after the first offense...why do I ask myself ?!
Why stay with a serial cheater ?
Why do some women put up with so much ####### ?
Why would your friend not call the authorities when her man did the romance scam in front of her and the kids ? WTH ?
She didn't do anything about it immediately did she ? So why stay with him and cry about it later ?
Your FIL advises you that if you want a lasting marriage then you should have closed your eye to it.
That is a village mentality and an entitlement thinking which is more common in some African cultures
because the women are shamed for divorcing and often can not provide for themselves or their kids alone so they do close their eyes
to it. The modern city woman will not put up with it, there are exceptions to the rule of course.
I hope some day all women will discover their self worth and separate themselves from this nonsense.
Rather than telling people to run it would be more beneficial to tell them to investigate their potential partners at the beginning
of meeting them and not after being married already. That goes for all internet romances, home and abroad.
People leave digital tracks and trails all the time trolling the net.
It is not hard to find someone on dating sites at all.
You can send someone you trust ( church affiliated pastor, missionary, trusted friend etc. ) directly to his house unannounced and see what
pops up, anyone can keep up a pretense for a 2 week visit....except your ignorant ex ( I hope he is an ex now ) couldn't even pull that off.
Been there, done that and have the T-shirt many years ago and was successful in discovering real evidence and ended the relationship.
But no one will "run" having read that your marriage failed.
Last but not least, I truly am sorry that it didn't work out for you, I truly am.
We all must be accountable to our choices and decisions in life and regain our beauty and happiness through the consequences
and knowing the future will be better with better choices and setting higher standards for ourselves.
That is when real growth happens within ourselves and then we can truly move on and share our story with others who ask us for
advice.
We must become fruit inspectors and look deeper than the charm that is on display.

Dear VJ friends,
It has been about 9 months since my husband arrived from Nigeria. I wanted to update you on our relationship status, and remind those who feel that majority of these long distance relationships fail once the beneficiary is here.
It took us almost five years to finally be together. It was a long process, one worth all the wait now that he is here. I speak for both of us when I say, our adjustment to each other has been a very successful one. He has been the most loving, caring and wonderful human being that he was then and continues to be to date. I could not have asked for more loving partner.
It is a myth when people generalize all relationships with red flags as failures. WE are proof of its success and that not every Nigerian is in this VJ just to get here and receive a GC or citizenship in the USA. Commitment and mutual respect has, and continues to be the key to our relationship and marriage. I just want to let others know although there are bad people in this world...good ones do exist. Choose your mate carefully using your head first, then let your heart give away your love. Respect yourself and know your worth and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve and makes you happy.
Best of luck to those who are still waiting for the VJ to end. Blessings!

OK, here is my TIER 2 entertainment for tonight
Spoke to tier 2 for 30 minutes
he was super nice
told me my files were at the NBC at first.. I was like EXCUSE ME??? I was told they are at TSC and I have a transfer notice... He says OH HOLD ON let me look at the notes. OK, yea, you're right. Both at TSC... The problem with the service requests is that they were sent to the NBC not TSC. Possibly the reason you didn't get a response ( not sure I believe him) so he apologized for that and said " let me fix this " so he sent them to TSC while I was on the phone. So then I asked if he could give me anything good... he said well, your background check is not checked off as complete. I won't ask you if you have any weird circumstnaces..... I said , . THis is the second time I am petitioning and my divorce took forever in Costa Rica because I don't speak spanish and I was swindled by an attorney over there. I had to hire another attorney to finish it. He said that could be the reason.. ( more than likely) but he said its not criminal... its just not checked off as complete but someone is working on your file.
He thanked me for being patient with him. . I told him the wait is ridiculous. He said people don't understand why there is a backlog. I said I KNOW WHY ! ! ! ! .. its because of the Daca and provisional waivers. They pushed the USC aside and processed the illegals. Then he paused for a minute and then asked me.. DO YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT? I said no, I'm just well informed and I have nothing else to do while I wait for my papers but read. And this is the second time I am filing. He said he wasn't allowed to talk about it but I told him I could tell by his tone that he agrees with me. He said YUP
So all in all, I had a nice conversation. But I find it odd that some officers tell you they don't have access to that info. Others throw out info like its nothing. I don't know what to believe since everything has been a lie up til now. I have a feeling they send them to the wrong service center on purpose. And of course the rep at the senator's office was off today so I couldn't get anything from her.
So the tier 2 told me to call back next week. and he said they encourage people to email the service centers FOR SURE. I told him they got an email from me everyday this week.. but now that I think about it... the service request numbers were directed to the NBC ( if what he said was true) possibly why these idiots can't get back to me So all in all, it seems service requests are useless. They assign them to an officer so that officer can push a button and send out a letter that says your file is in process..... All this wasted money for all these useless steps.... UGHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh he also said, " I don't know what forums your read, but some info is correct and other info is not complete" He said he reads some of them. that is when he said people have no idea why there is a backlog
He said he feels bad for all the callers. He wishes he could help everyone. We even had a converstation about the reasons people give him for more information...
I miss my spouse so bad, I'm running out of money he said he hears them all.
So that was my afternoon entertainment.

Approved!!

I just got off the phone with the NVC...
So After two months and four days NVC has assigned to me a case number. hurray!!!!!!!!!!!

Think of this as the beginning of the rest of your lives together... Its a journey you are both sharing and will talk about for many years.
As with any visa, if you have everything they require, and you are organized then everything will be fine. You have nothing to worry about.
Start thinking about making a family once everything is approved and your partner is in the states permanently.
Good luck!

I wouldn't panic. The guides are your friend. Besides, if you're missing any paperwork before the application is approved, you'll get an RFE, and he won't be able to come here until that is resolved. And you'll have time to really make sure you have everything put together after you get married and before you file for AOS. You'll be fine!

Wait to have a baby... This process is stressful enough without adding worry if you will be alone for the birth, hormonal changes and the financial stresses on top of everything...

We've got the case complete today.

OK, THETIMEISNOW felt disrespected... Can we leave it at that ? Please? There was no problem with the information being given it was the delivery. Please don't continue the bullying. We all know how everyone feels. LET IT GO...
THETIMEISNOW deserves to be here without the fear of asking another question and being bashed for it. ( as everyone else does too) I don't have time to catch up totally in the morning when I have over 100 notifications for this thread... I don't have that kind of time. We all should be able to post a question without feeling like someone is annoyed. This process is long and confusing and maybe it doesn't make sense sometimes. We don't want to make people feel like they can't ask a question. You never know what information that person has to offer. You might ask a question and that person might be the only person who knows.
Can we please just live in harmony? I have to clear out my email and the email that comes through on my cell and when I get home, I have to clear out my email on my laptop. Let's all be nice...ok?
Funny Cuz I am usually the one getting warnings and getting banned. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
And all those little comments are just feeding the fire. Didn't we all graduate from Kindergarden a long time ago ???

Let me clarify your statement: I never addressed what Saylin does for the members. I know that it can be overwhelming! I appreciate what she does. However, I will NOT tolerate Saylin nor anyone else being disrespectful to me! That is the issue that I currently have with Saylin! No one forced Saylin or any other administrators/moderators to become a part of this community and help us, so please do not take out your frustrations on me or anyone else!

Saylin, let me make something really clear to you; I think that you are very helpful, but you need to watch how you talk to people! You just posted the message yesterday I do believe! That is why I said that you need to be patient. You could have addressed me in a different manner. I have never disrepected you so please do not disrespect me! The sighs were totally unnecessary!
Also, be careful not to judge, Saylin! I know quite a bit more than you think! I have been through the visa process before, going on 8 years (yes, 8 YEARS), so I can definitely testify that it is not the end of the world for me! We are not discussing the process; we are discussing how you responded to me.
Please remember that you represent VJ! So please be a little more professional when dealing with us!