M J

I just spent the last couple days calling all the local Civil Surgeons around me. I finally found one that did not insist that my Fiance needed to go through the whole medical exam again. This doctor knew all about the visa transcription and what is needed for a K1 visa.
Chicago - NW Suburbs
CS Name/Office: Ruhi Askari, M.D.
Address: 3433 Kirchoff Rd
City/Town: Rolling Meadows, IL 60008
CS Tel. No: (847) 870-0506
Date of Service: 11/21/2014
Cost: $75 (for vaccine transcription only)
Turnaround Time: Same day, appointment required

You are the one that every woman from the Philippines hopes to land. An easy ticket to America with no spine who will send himself to the poor house for whatever she wants.
You passed with flying colors.
It's absolutely time to trade her in.

I don't think anything OP does is going to make this a loving, bona fide marriage. It seems the wife came over to give her and her family a better life and is doing the bare minimum to keep OP from filing divorce. It won't matter how OP tries to set up finances. It won't matter if they go to marriage counseling... none of it will matter. OP needs to divorce and get out of this mess. To me it looks like the wife wants to work nights so there's no more chance she has to have sex with her husband any more. This is really sad.
On the other hand, I'm glad OP made this thread. Maybe this will give him a wake up call to get out of this and divorce her. It's awful and it seems like OP doesn't stand up for himself very much so it'll be that much harder. I hope you find the strength OP. Please divorce this woman and take care of your daughter.

Your wife is one of those people that grew up thinking that once she marries an American, she married a billionare aka "The American Dream". I am glad that my husband and I sat down and he clearly described how life really is like in the States because all I knew was what I saw on TV growing up. And I also spoke to my parents and told them upfront that I won't be the Filipino child that is expected to send money all the time. I am willing to HELP once in a while, but I won't be responsible for raising my brother and I would never put that burden on my husband. Cold as it may sound, I didn't choose to bring that kid into the world, so why should I pay for his education? Thats a parent's responsibility.
You need to stop giving this girl and her family any money. If after you speak to her and she still refuses to change, then divorce. The D word should jolt a little bit of sense (hopefully) in her.

Cut the money flow. Save for you and your child. Put your foot down. If she wants to send money to family then let it come from her earnings.
Tell her you have had enough of her spoiled brat attitude and if she won't agree to counseling then you will know what to do.
People will treat you to the degree that you allow them to.

She doesn't love you at all.You were her free ticket to America, now you are the one she is using to financially help her family. I have no simpathy for this kind of woman at all. Divorce, file for custody of your child, and let's see how she will survive without your money.

Most Consulate's have an outreach program where they will either be in your city or will be within a closer driving range. Contact them to see how to get a copy of the schedule. I searched the Chicago Consulate website but couldn't find it.

driving... start with lonely country roads, let her get used to the gas & brake pedal before ever getting close to a real street.
Cold.. they don't have a clue what cold is.. once she finds out it will be a different story.

I agree with cancel the AOS NOW!. As in stop reading this and write the letter withdrawing the I-864 right now. Mail it today, at the post office, return receipt or at least tracking. Make an infopass appointment and submit the same notarized letter there. Are you still reading and not doing.......do now finish reading later.
She is milking you for all you have and when you have nothing left she will be gone. Really you paid for her apartment in another country, you are paying her credit card bills for her. She is taking you for a ride and laughing the whole way.

You were played for a fool BUT quite willingly so. Now, you know what you have to do. Elaborating on the situation will not garner you any more sympathy points, especially when it is so obvious that you complied with everything she did/wanted. Do I have sympathy for you? Yes, but it is limited. Now that you know what to do, get thee away from her!

You've been taken big-time.
Your first priority -- meaning that you must drop everything and proceed this minute -- is to cancel the AOS process by withdrawing the I-864. Do this by following the thorough methods outlined elsewhere in this thread. Again, you must drop everything else and do this now.

I have mixed feelings on your whole rant.
OP might be a good guy but looks like you picked a lady who might be out of your league and I doubt you never supported her spending habit. America is over glamorized and so most people until the upsurge of twitter and Facebook that allows foreigners to have some realistic view of America and Americans, lots of foreigners see America as heaven on earth, land of honey and milk.
There are ladies like your wife everywhere. There are women who are very high maintenance and don't make a mistake and let their location, economic status or job status fool you.
Looks like you picked a lady who would not have married you if you were a local DR guy. She is inconsiderate, wants the expensive things and wants everyone to cater to her. I am not surprised she doesn't wanna live here especially if she has to work.
The typical immigrants I know, will do the currency conversions every time the USC is making a purchase, and usually tries to talk you out of making "expensive" purchases.
There's nothing you can do to change her or to help her change. She will keep complaining because she is a spoiled woman and she feels entitled to everything that will make her comfortable..
It is unfortunate but that's the reality. make the right decision.... You can't make someone wanna be with you.
Good luck, buddy.

I snipped most of your post, but I appreciate the honesty and the fact you know exactly what happened and don't seem to make an excuse for it. There are sooooo many examples on these forums of people marrying from another country and the marriage being an absolute train wreck from day one. It happens stateside, too, but you don't have the immigration factor to worry about nor any sense of feeling rushed by the distance nor, it should be said, the romanticism of marrying somebody from another country and sweeping them off their feet back to the US.
It's so obvious she is using you and you're not in love with each other. Hopefully you'll realize that soon and dissolve the marriage. It was never an honest marriage anyway, you were a mark from day one. Stop wasting time with her, it will just be a deeper hole to climb out of later.
Man, it's hard to have sympathy for you now. I mean, I really want to, but how can you not see what's going on? You're still weighing your options? Your only realistic option is to completely cut ties as quickly and efficiently as possible. You are nothing but income now as she lives the good life in manhattan on your dollar. Agree with earlier comment about protecting yourself from possible domestic abuse accusations as well. Record all conversations you have with her from here on. That means keep all emails, texts, and if you speak on the phone record the audio of everything. This is not an overreaction but a pragmatic action based on what you're telling us.

yes very true. Don't marry someone you meet on vacation. remember these people spend their lives observing American culture. They take advantage of a situation. There are far and few here who actually make it. TLC has 90 day visa, they should do a post show Removing Conditions and see how many made it past the two years. Many of these people come with an agenda and use emotional warfare to you over.

My 2 cents opinion. I see a man with low self esteem who has now seen the 'light'. You were love struck from the get go by outward appearance. She tells you what you want to hear ... For example that she wants to return to DR. You said she is lazy and think people here work too hard, but in the same breath you said she used to work 70 hours for $200. How could she be sleeping 20 hours and yet was used to working such long hours? She appears to be avoiding your presence.
You are a walking bank to her and being used. The writing was on the wall from day one, maybe day two but you ignored it. Now smell the coffin and run. Better than what the outcome would be in the long run with thousands of dollars spent and headaches.

A lot of good advise here but i have to agree with Shauna&Wael
Dump her
From the amount of money you say you spend, looks like you can afford the divorce lawyer
withdraw the I 864
stop paying for her cell phone
and any other bills she accumulates
and when she tries to come back for these benefits, don't be taken in with beauty
you have been had
Get out

you did a very noble thing by opening up your life and your home to someone else. If she is not respectful of your finances or your values, then unfortunately she is not the right one for you. Cut the cord and move on. Plenty of fish in the see.

People keep saying if you love her...#######,marriage is not just about if YOU love someone, but if the person loves you and respects you as well. In my opinion she is using you big time.We are our choices, you can embrace to be used as a bank or kick her out of your life.It's your call.

I feel your pain brother. You sound like a good guy who has good intentions. I typically am always for working out problems, but there sounds like there are some strong personality characteristics that are going to be deal breakers.

So after reading the entire story and thread here, your conclusion is that her only issue is a shopping addiction and adjustment? Are you f---ing kidding me? She clearly used him and the fact that she has family in the US is another huge red flag. Dump this trash and don't look back or feel an ounce of guilt OP.

Sorry to hear you dilemmas about your new wife bud but I think she just used you to get out of DR. Girls from there have really good packaging on the outside, but not everything that glitters is gold. Ask her to be more helpful at home, just try if she doesn't cooperate - send her back where she came from. You should both act like a team, looks as if she is just social climbing.

If she doesn't show her friends on FB that she is married, and crops you out of photos (actively makes an effort to conceal your existence) then I would give her the boot. Put her, and the iPhone, and whatever else it takes to get her moving, and put it all on a plane back to DR. It will be cheaper and less painful in the long run...

Is he a US accountant familiar with US income tax laws? If he is a US accountant, then he sucks.
US citizens are required to file US tax returns on their worldwide income even if nothing is earned in the US.
The US tax return requirement is due regardless of whether a person owes taxes or not. Even if he doesn't have to pay, he still needs to file. To get the foreign income exemption, he would need to file.

You asked a question and the person replied. Maybe you didn't liked they replied but then do not ask the question.
Yes they have both entered in good faith. What the user i talking about is that she only wants to stay married to she gets her green card which seems odd since she is able to get it herself with a divorce.

If she's saying this she deserves to be caught...