lynndy38

Had my medical at Knightsbridge Bentinck Street yesterday and it went much better than I could have anticipated,heres how it went.
We got the tube from Kingscross (Victoria line to Oxford Circus then Central line to Bond Street) The map Knightsbridge provide on their website helped alot,print if off and make sure you take it with you.
Arrived around 10 minutes early for my 1:30pm appointment, lovely friendly receptionist took my passport etc off me and gave me a questionaire to fill out,similar to the one you complete and take with you. A few extra questions such as have you ever actively tried to take your life which I had to leave blank as 4 years ago when I drank I took too many tablets I ended up in hospital.This freaked me out and at that point I thought I was doomed!!!!
Was then sent to waiting room after about 10 minutes a lady around 6 months pregnant called my name and introduced herself to me as one of the doctors there,she was really friendly,quite gentle and immediately put me at ease. She explained what we would be doing,I had a few forms to sign,one to say I consented to blood test and the other to say I'd attended(I think)
We then began to go through the questionaire,spoke about my hospital stays, I had treatment for an abnormal smear when I was younger so had taken a list of the since negative results,she seemed pleased I'd brought that. Discussed my back surgery,asked if I was ok with my back now....yes that was enough for her. Talked about the pneumonia I had,no problems since other than the odd chest infection. Talked about the fact I have high blood pressure that was usually managed with the medication I was on.
We then moved onto the questions about my mental health which was the part I was dreading, we discussed a little about what had been going on in my life around the time I had self harmed,drank too much and had ended up with an accidental overdose I told her my doctor had sent a letter of which I had no idea what had been written,handed her this she read it and said....perfect....your doctor has said just what I needed to hear,all I know is my doctor was happy to write she had seen me get better and better over the years and saw no reason to think I would harm myself nor anyone else in the future I guess she came through big time and said all the right things.
We discussed the fact I hadnt drank for almost 4 years,the fact I had CBT and talking therapy and that was it really.
Then was the physical side, height,weight(I closed my eyes,she said nothing!!!!) Eyes tested(Dont forget glasses if you wear them!)
She asked me to strip down to my underwear and lay on the examination table,did a breast exam pushed around on my tummy,under ribs. Checked my hip and shoulder joints then took the blood test. It seems they only check for Syphillis.
I was asked to sit up whilst she did my blood pressure which read at 160/98!!!!!! I freaked out,she calmly told me to lay down again and start taking slow deep breaths while she went to try a different cuff as it had been a little tight. She retried it,this time 130/83......thats better!!!!!!
I asked her is she saw many patients,she said she only worked one day a week,thank goodness I was lucky enough to have been there the day she was!!!
That was basically it....I said "Have I passed?" and was told providing the blood test and xray came back fine my results would be on their way to the embassy next week. YAY!!!!!
I had to wait for around 10 mins for the xray,painless and easy enough done by another friendly lady.Then went and discussed the fact I was up to date with my vaccinations and nothing further was required.......just £227!!!!
Visa,Police certificate was returned along with reciept and copy of vaccination record that you MUST keep safe,as it would be needed once in the USA for health insurance and the AOS stage.
The whole process was done by 3pm, I thanked the receptionist and said youve all made a difficult process much easier!!!
Mum and I then went and shopped around Oxford St,had a lovely tea then got back to Kingscross to find our train had been cancelled but thats another story
And today......husband called to say case completed and on way to London embassy so fingers crossed for a March interview!!!!!
I wish I didnt worry so much,again huge thanks for everyones support

Cut them some slack people, they didn't have many choices before DOMA was booted out. Its alot easier for the heterosexual couples to say you should never have lied. I would think about getting advice from an immigration attorney, maybe they can advise you. I'd hope that when you apply this time around as a same sex couple they'd at least have a little understanding of why you lied in the past…..but this is a government agency that you're dealing with so logic may not apply!!!! Good luck :-)

Hi
My 15 year old flew on his own last may to Detroit, he had a letter of consent with him and the proof of the return ticket, all went fine. While I was anxiously waiting for a message that immigration went ok, he was making selfies while having lunch at Chillies!
no worries!
Sandra

They gave you a hard time because you had a boyfriend/spouse who was a USC. They aren't going to do the same to a kid. Good luck.

Get a letter from the school confirming he is a student and when classes resume. He probably won't need it, but it's something to show a tie to home.

Use this list to get the phone number for the Passenger Service Manager for his POE. Discuss your concerns with the head guy instead of searching the internet. http://www.cbp.gov/contact/ports/passenger-service-mgr

Hello... I think the best advice I can give is to focus on the big prize: Think about your life right now, with all the comforts and lifestyle that you enjoy. Is there something that is possibly missing? Well, of course... your loved one!
I think it is ok to feel anxious, because it is a big leap... but it is a big leap forward, in you will be able to be with the person you love and have a wonderful life together. It is very good that you can voice those concerns out, because expressing what we fear or what bothers us helps us get through those feelings.
Have you two discussed the possibility of her moving over to Germany? Please, I am not trying to make you more anxious... just asking as that might be an option as well.
I agreed with my husband to live in Mexico when we first got married. As life was VERY different, we weighed our options and now it is my turn to jump in this journey and move to the US with him. I will leave my job, my big family, my life as I know it. And I know it will be a huge change and something that will take a lot of me to adjust... but I am willing to do it because he is the person I love.
What I am saying is.. there are always options when you love your other half... you just need to think about what you both want and compromise
I wish you the very best of luck!

I wrote a slightly tongue in cheek blog article about what I've learnt about the visa process now that I've been approved and I was curious as to whether people agree/disagree with this so thought I'd share it.
It’s Expensive
The Visa process is not cheap, and that’s before you even factor in the costs of a long distance relationship. There are filing fees; $420 for the I130, $88 for Adjustment of Status, $230 for the IV phase and $165 for ELIS. Then there’s the other costs, £240 to prove your gentleman vegetable isn’t riddled with syphilis at the medical and £40 for the “Police Certificate”- a piece of paper that says you are not a criminal (unless of course you are). Fiancé Visas cost even more. I understand why these things cost money of course and it’s admirable that USCIS is largely user funded but I’m willing to bet if the system was more efficient then the costs wouldn’t need to be as high.


It’s Extremely Frustrating
You know the scene, you’re in the car and the right hand lane is closed for roadworks so everyone queues in the left hand lane. There’s always one (99% of the time an ####### in a BMW or Audi) who just has to drive in the closed lane until the end and push in front of the queue. That’s how the Visa process often feels. Someone who files three months after you gets approved before you or the USCIS ignores spousal visas while fast tracking the petitions of children of illegal immigrants. It’s immensely frustrating but the frustration is with the agency not with your fellow filers and it’s something that you have to get used to or the process will seem very long indeed. The best way to not get frustrated is to use the wait productively, whether preparing for the next stage of the Visa process or putting pressure on USCIS over its latest backlog.
It’s Bad News For Trees
Although some parts of the process are done online, there is an awful lot of paper being used for the Visa application. When you see the folder they open with your file inside at your interview you can’t help but notice how thick it is. There’s the initial I-130 submission which is a lot of paper and then copies and photocopies of original documents. Added to this, things have a habit of getting lost during the process so a lot of people print everything in duplicate or triplicate just in case. Hopefully in the future everything can be done online and people will have digital copies of everything they’ve filed rather than printouts.


It’s Stressful
The desire to be with your loved one is so strong that the Visa process turns normally rational people into nervous wrecks. I’ve seen people read about some of the medical issues they check for at the medical and convince themselves that they have it. Although some of the questions for the medical are silly, like “have you ever had leprosy?” Damn I was going to hide it but when my fingers came off when we shook hands it gave the game away! When it came to my interview date I must have checked that I had everything 50 times and I left so early that I got to the Embassy before 7AM. There’s also the fear of being denied at the interview and you convince yourself that your case has more red flags than the minefield between the two Korea’s when actually your relationship is genuine and you have huge amounts of proof. As soon as you have finished the interview it’s a huge anti-climax after such a long process.
It Was All Worth It
I had my interview earlier this week and in a month I’m emigrating to the US to live with my wife. It’s been a long, stressful and emotional 11 months but now we can be together it’s definitely worth it. Luckily we won’t have to go through this again, unless we ever decide to relocate to the UK!

It will be my one and half anniversary of wedding, three years of knowing each other. We met online... he went to visit me nine times!!! each visit was better and better... at least I believe you need face to face time before you jump to a decision but you can certanly met in any way and use time to know and check is real... Always be cautious and verify deep intentions and feelings. Now I can tell everything is awesome and he is the best guy ever!!! My true match!!!

Wait to have a baby... This process is stressful enough without adding worry if you will be alone for the birth, hormonal changes and the financial stresses on top of everything...

Be real careful about using the socialist website or giving your personal information to someone who promises to help you with obamacare. The site is not secure and your information can be compromised. That includes driver's license number, passports, social security numbers, and so on. You're far better off to seek out the private sector for just about everything in America. Good luck.

Right now, it just seems like a lot of things are just more complicated. Granted, I am an immigrant so that always adds red tape to the mix, but I mean, even with the tax returns and that stuff and insurance and deductibles this and co-insurance that. I miss HMRC just sending me a new tax code every April and taking a nice stroll into my hospital's urgent care unit and them treating me without asking me hardly anything and then sending me on my way. It is definitely a learning curve.

Cut them some slack people, they didn't have many choices before DOMA was booted out. Its alot easier for the heterosexual couples to say you should never have lied. I would think about getting advice from an immigration attorney, maybe they can advise you. I'd hope that when you apply this time around as a same sex couple they'd at least have a little understanding of why you lied in the past…..but this is a government agency that you're dealing with so logic may not apply!!!! Good luck :-)

Cut them some slack people, they didn't have many choices before DOMA was booted out. Its alot easier for the heterosexual couples to say you should never have lied. I would think about getting advice from an immigration attorney, maybe they can advise you. I'd hope that when you apply this time around as a same sex couple they'd at least have a little understanding of why you lied in the past…..but this is a government agency that you're dealing with so logic may not apply!!!! Good luck :-)

With the goverment, being honest is always the best policy, but I don't really see how everyone repeating this to the OP over and over again is going to change the situation. I'm sure they are aware they should not have lied, but like lynndy38 said, it's a lot easier to pass judgement in the moment than it probably was for OP to make that tough decision just for him and his partner to be able to stay together in the same country. I personally probably wouldn't have been thinking logically and more desperately if I had been in the situation too and was facing separation from my wife.
All you can do from here is be honest about the situation, no more lies or bending the truth. Do the process all by the book. Good luck!

doesn't seem very constructive to at the OP for lying, the fact that they are same sex means they had hurdles that the opposite sex couples didn't so cut them some slack. People In love panic and do silly things to stay together

You are doing exactly what you say she is doing to you. You are judging her just as much as she is you.

wipe the counters down with disinfectant before you cook, cats are actually very hygienic animals so get the 'cooties' mindset out of your head and that shouldn't be a problem anymore. Also her 'oh' to your trader joes comment was probably her thinking you were being a little snobby by you making a point about how you enjoy more expensive pizza than the one she provided you with. Everyone lives differently. ,my advice is suck it up, its only two weeks then just don't arrange to stay there again.

Your penultimate paragraph does come across as being quite snobby, it sounds like they are doing their best for you. Just be tactful, no need to hurt their feelings tell them that its time that you had your own space. You can still see them regularly and maybe you could have them visit for dinner to say thank you.

I think you should be safe expressing your gratitude for their hospitality, and then letting them know that while you planned on staying longer, you are also longing for your own bed. Let them know how much you enjoy their company and would love them to come visit, but you also feel the need to have some solitude. I would not mention the cats at all. We also have cats and while we do not allow them to climb on counters in the kitchen or elsewhere, when we are not home, we have little control of where they go in the house (no doors to our kitchen). Clearly they love their pets, so I would not make the reason you want to go home about them. They may be a little hurt, but once you are home, you can contact them via phone daily, if you feel the need. But as a grown woman, you should be in your own home.

PLEASE listen to this advice…every passing day of an ectopic pregnancy is a danger to your health. Your fallopian tube could rupture at any minute with devastating consequences. You need to be back at the doctors NOW, ask about payment plans. Its not ideal but its life…..it kicks you in the ### at times but you will cope and get through it. Your life is worth more than $20,000!!!!!
Lots of luck, let us know how you get hon xx

I'm not sure about the immigration end but I do know a lot about ectopic pregnancies. It is not safe to fly right now. First, the pressure changes can affect your body. You could easily bleed out in an hour. It happened to me. I had to have 10 units of blood and CPR twice on the operating table. DO NOT FLY! You can go to a not for profit hospital and have the surgery then ask for a write off for hardship. People do it all the time. Pay $5/month on your bill if you have to but do not fly. You could bleed out in the air and no one could do a thing about it. Have you asked the doc about methotrexate? Is it too late? Please message me if you have any questions. I do this for a living and I'm 100% sure that you are not okay to fly with an ectopic pregnancy.

Considering you didn't once mention your love for him as a consideration, I'd say canceling and re examining your priorities would probably be a good idea for both of you...

Bull. I've been married for 8 years, and spent that time (up until this past year) with him in his country. So I went through the immigration system in his country as well. And waited 2+ years for a residency permit that was supposed to take 6 months, but at least I was allowed to stay with him during the time it took to process my case.
The relationship issues you're describing are your own, and not everyone's experience with marrying someone from another country/culture. My husband doesn't annoy me, nor I him. We dealt with infertility, the deaths of several of my close family members, money issues, systemic racism and sexism in his portion of the country, and a litany of other #######, because that's life. Our relationship is a source of great joy and happiness. Our being from different cultures keeps things interesting. But people have been telling us that we were going to grow out of our honeymoon phase for the better part of a decade. Obviously, we're just delusional.
To call this separation "little" is dismissive and flippant. It's not little to us, nor to our children. This is the longest that we've ever been apart in the 10 years total that we've been together. We like what little skype time we get because mostly we talk on the phone. Because when our children see his face and talk to him on the computer, they spend the next several days moping around and crying hysterically. During this time apart, I've also had to put away most of my pictures of him, because the little one carries them around the house talking to them, kissing them, and playing with them, and the big one sees them and cries. So you go ahead and be flippant because your wait is a blip in your rear-view mirror already. I personally don't forget how much it sucked not being able to work or do anything for 2+ years while we waited for my Verblijfsvergunning over there. Just because you have come to this conclusion and have had this reaction does not mean everyone will or should have the same one.
I don't think missing out on a year (or more) of our lives together is a blip. A year, right now, is half of our youngest daughter's entire life. Just because my family isn't dying of famine, or being ravished by war, it doesn't mean that it's not suffering. Just because there are worse things in this world, it doesn't mean that this is fine and normal. One bad thing doesn't cancel out or negate another.
This entire situation sucks, and if there's something I can work towards to try to improve the system so that people in the future don't have to deal with this kind of anguish, I'm going to do it. The fact that people are stuck in limbo for years with no answers is entirely unacceptable. Positive thinking and just keeping going are great coping mechanisms. But real change is not brought about by positive thinking alone. It requires real world action.
OP, I'm so sorry that you're separated from those that you love. I hope that your process will be over quickly. *hugs*

I'm glad you posted, you simply expressed your thoughts. You will quickly learn the jerks on VJ. Eat the fish and leave the bones. Some of what they say may be helpful but most of it is rubbish. I always find it humorous how the ones who have their spouses with them and who still come back to post smart ### comments. They are a joke to me, don't let it stop it from speaking your mind.