Xanax

That's not true. You CAN marry in the US you just have to leave and have a CR-1 filed.
Marrying on a tourist visa with the intent to stay and adjust status could be considered fraud and cause you problems.
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OP, unfortunately you are looking at a wait either way. With the K-1 6-9 months; with the CR-1 if you get married 7-10 months.
If you try to do this an illegal way - enter on a visitors visa with intent to adjust status you wont find much help here.

You can marry and file for adjustment of status. The most likely result is approval but there is no gaurantee at all.
In total it's around $1500+ medical and you will still need to meet the income requirements.
There is no gaurantee you will be approved and I believe there is no appealing from a vwp adjustment (could be wrong here).
Edit: if you are denied you can return to Ireland and file CR-1 and that's fine.

Yes the affidavit is what you need, he needs to show he can support the whole family 125% of the poverty guidelines.
If your AOS is denied it wont affect your CR-1 application apart from you wasting nearly $2,000.

Don't let people bully you into doing something. Do what's right for you. I personally do not condone hiding things but NO one bar you can tell you what is right for you.
Good luck OP, I know how hard this is.

Don't let people bully you into doing something. Do what's right for you. I personally do not condone hiding things but NO one bar you can tell you what is right for you.
Good luck OP, I know how hard this is.

Don't let people bully you into doing something. Do what's right for you. I personally do not condone hiding things but NO one bar you can tell you what is right for you.
Good luck OP, I know how hard this is.

You sound like you are just interested in a destination wedding, there is no need for a K-1 unless you plan to live in the US after your wedding. You will only need a tourist visa or vwp if you are applicable.

As I said you only need a tourist visa. Visit the US. Marry. Leave.

The thing(s) I find "disturbing" is not your positive outlook. Things like how you dictated to your wife and family what was acceptable within your marriage. I am fairly sure Vanessa and are on the same page with this.
It's great that your relationship is working out so well for you and you seem to have overcome many obstacles!
But...your relationship (at least with the dynamics you have described) is not one I would aspire to.

Then you haven't been to a good counselor

Then you haven't been to a good counselor

You have placed this in the wrong places- yes.
In regards to vwp stay there is no actual number of days you can stay in a 1 year period as far as I am aware. You are supposed to spend more time in your home country than in the USA, but there is no gaurantee even if you do that, that you will be let in.
You should make sure you can prove ties to your home country if needed and also that you.can explain why/how you can spend so much time in the US.

If I were you I would firstly try to have a frank and honest conversation with your wife.
Ask her what she wants, why she is unhappy, does she want to continue with the relationship? If so; what could you improve on, what does she think she could do differently, what could you both work on?
If you cannot do this, if it is too hard to talk to her at this point look into counselling. Generally you can get counselling from an intern for quite cheap. We did some pre-martial counselling with an intern who just finished her degree and we got it for 1/3 the normal fee.

If I were you I would firstly try to have a frank and honest conversation with your wife.
Ask her what she wants, why she is unhappy, does she want to continue with the relationship? If so; what could you improve on, what does she think she could do differently, what could you both work on?
If you cannot do this, if it is too hard to talk to her at this point look into counselling. Generally you can get counselling from an intern for quite cheap. We did some pre-martial counselling with an intern who just finished her degree and we got it for 1/3 the normal fee.

The thing(s) I find "disturbing" is not your positive outlook. Things like how you dictated to your wife and family what was acceptable within your marriage. I am fairly sure Vanessa and are on the same page with this.
It's great that your relationship is working out so well for you and you seem to have overcome many obstacles!
But...your relationship (at least with the dynamics you have described) is not one I would aspire to.

The thing(s) I find "disturbing" is not your positive outlook. Things like how you dictated to your wife and family what was acceptable within your marriage. I am fairly sure Vanessa and are on the same page with this.
It's great that your relationship is working out so well for you and you seem to have overcome many obstacles!
But...your relationship (at least with the dynamics you have described) is not one I would aspire to.

Agreed!!!!! Cannot find enough "!"'s

You don't need to "get lucky" she has lots of proof, she is coming from a vwp country.
You're making it a much more stressful deal than it has to be. If my boyfriend was talking to me like you are talking about your fiancees situation, I may too have cried.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.
If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

Many millions of soldiers were taken prisoner in the wars. They were, for the most part treated properly. Many Italian prisoners were taken to Wales and did not go home after the war, but they married local girls and settled down. British and American prisoners were treated properly by the Germana and had red cross contact, letters home etc
The Geneva convention outlaws nerve gas etc and the US Military uses jacketed bullets because the Geneva convention outlaws hollow points
The idea that humans become animals and leave civilization behind is simply nor true.
The idea of war is to overcome the opponent by forcing his capitulation, but the means of doing this initially include killing
It is true that war crimes are more likely to be committed on a government scale rather than by individual soldiers
eg The British fire bombing of Dresden when the war was all but finished and the city was full of refugees - this killed 100,000 people.
The VJ poster who thinks there are no rules would doubtless spend the rest of his life in prison if he was to act in accordance with his mistaken ideas
There are plenty of American soldiers in prison right now for war crimes - killing people for their skulls, raping and burning Iraqi girls etc
Yes there are rules and they are enforced