InHisTime

When I moved over to the Netherlands it was a gigantic shock to my system. I have a large, close family that I saw every day, even then. I always worked and had scratched, scraped, fought hard for everything I had. I didn't have a lot, but it was mine. My car. My career. My apartment. I worked my #### off for years.
When I moved to the Netherlands, I wasn't allowed to work. I wasn't allowed to go to school. My large family wasn't there anymore. I was learning the language, but had only managed a few phrases. My husband was working 90+ hours a week. His family was not anywhere near as close as mine is, and I found out quickly that you don't just stop by a Dutch person's house without an appointment. So, I did what I could do. Food shopping. Doing my admin work on the message board we met on. CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. We played together with several music bands (we're both musicians) and sang with the local chorus. It was very lonely, and a very odd situation to find myself in. My wedding present from my husband was our dogs. (First one, then a few months later, another one.) Then I had something to focus on besides the fact that I was basically alone 80% of the time. I went on very long walks with them. Once my residency permit went through (2+ years after moving there!) I went out and started working.

I'd always been independent, even as a teenager, and now I was dependent on my husband to get just about anything done. I didn't understand a lot of their business rules, so it was easier for him to handle it. He was the main earner in our house, which was again, very strange for me. I had some bit of culture shock every single day I lived there. And now that I've moved back to the states, I have reverse culture shock, which is also bizarre.
I knew, moving over there that there would be some element of culture shock. I just didn't understand how bad it would be. How pervasive. I loved, and still love my husband very much, and I gave up everything I'd worked very hard to achieve to be with him. (Something that his local country people scoffed at, btw. Like I didn't have anything before I met him, and my career, etc, wasn't just as important as his. Those same people were fairly horrified when he told them he was going to be coming to the US. "But, you're giving up everything you've worked for, your whole LIFE!" My dear, sweet husband very nastily replied "She did it for me, what kind of an ####### husband wouldn't be willing to do the same for her?" <3)
Honestly, at some point I couldn't deal with it anymore. I wasn't mad at him. He was not at all the problem. But I couldn't handle living there anymore. After almost 8 years, and holding it together, and doing my best to just get on with things (Being a mom, Wife, working, etc.) I realized that I was going down a very bad road, mentally and emotionally. I wanted to stay married to my husband, but I was worried that if I didn't get out of there we were ultimately going to divorce. Because I could feel myself starting to get mad at him, to resent him, for making me live in a place that pissed me off on a daily basis. For having to explain to strangers in the street that I wasn't Moroccan. Or a Muslim. Or an illegal alien. Or an illegal Polish Hooker. And yes, I was allowed to leave the house all by myself. And no, I wasn't afraid to walk home from work at night. Or hear that my neighborhood was going to ###### because of all the foreigners who were moving in. (Yeah, me, that African American Rocket Scientist and that one Canadian guy who lived down the street. Obviously, we were bringing down the property values. Not like those Dutch kids that kept lighting cars on fire and blowing up the bus stop.) Or the other small nasty things, that by themselves aren't that big a deal, but when taken cumulatively just wear down a person's spirit.
So, we had a change of plans. It happens. My husband was very, very understanding and supportive. I told him when I was having a hard time and we got through it. And now we're going to try our luck here in the US.
So, given my experience, I can entirely understand why your wife is having a moment of weakness and saying that she wants to go home. I wanted to come home too. I missed my life. My family. My friends. My career. Everything. But I knew in the beginning that I was going through the worst of the culture shock. So my husband and I made a deal that if it got to be too much, I should tell him immediately so we could do something to improve the situation. And usually just having a decompression session, and getting it out of my system helped enormously. But when that stopped working as well, I also knew that my husband would have my back and would be supportive.
Hug your wife. Tell her how much you love her. Let her know that you understand she's going through a hard time, and encourage her to tell you about it. You might not be able to understand, but I am pretty sure that you want her to be happy. And plan a visit back to her country as soon as it's feasible from an advanced parole and financial position. Those periodic visits home were very helpful to me.
Good luck.

She will not be able to file for Adjustment of Status regardless whether you withdraw the petition or not. She can only enter U.S. with K1 visa to marry the original petitioner and Adjust Status. If she marry someone else. She could not adjust and will be out of status. She needs to return and file for CR-1 but she will face a lot of issue during her interview.

There will have been some red flags much earlier on. For example, not even knowing the sister's name - a sister that is in the USA! Incredible, really. Traditionally people make it a point getting to know the family, friends, and neighbors of a serious relationship... but most especially one that is in the same country she is immigrating to. This immigrant for marriage already has an illegal alien sister here whose name has been concealed so this should be setting off the alarm bells at the outset.

I don't think your marriage has been ruined by PMS or your inability to deal with it. This woman simply used you for immigration benefits. Pull I-864 so she can't get a green card, then get a divorce and move on.

Steve - good detective work and summations.
Stuff todo:
1. file for annulment (not divorce) in your state, citing 'visa scam' as the reason.
2. write that letter withdrawing the I-864 , send it off to the address in the receipt notice, with signature confirmation. this will take a bit longer once the postal mail hits the uscis mailroom, but it's worth it. Also drop off the letter (yet another copy) at the USCIS office deemed your local office via an infopass appointment.

Hello and hugs to you. I am sorry of your situation. I hope it will improve soon. I & B gave you a very good advices to consider. Please don't feel down of yourself, everybody commit mistakes.
And, yes sometimes we could experience similar or pattern of mistakes in life. We just need to learn our lessons from our past mistakes, thus we become stronger and better persons.
Your husband needs to realize the toxic effects of his behavior to you and your daughter. He needs anger management. Mutual respect is very important. I'm not sure what to advice you legally, all I know since you live in Canada, then you can come back to the US without the need for visa, just in case you come home and give up your immigration benefits. So you will have the opportunity to visit your child.
I just pray there is still hope for change. Without your daughter, I would think it is easier for you to leave, but I understand you don't wanna lose another child this time. It is heartbreaking for sure.
For now, I suggest you to pray hard to God, to give you courage and determination to overcome the trials you are facing now, and to attain peace in your mind and heart.
Try to be still or calm, and know that God is still in control. Don't exhaust too much of your energy on thinking beyond your control, this will let you down physically and mentally. The best way is to pray, talk to God all your heartaches and desires. And please seek professional advice, consult a lawyer on how to fight for your child's custody in the event of divorce. Take care of yourself and your daughter. Don't try to get into a series of argument with your husband as you know he cannot control his anger. I am not saying you have to tolerate his behavior......that is why it is best if he will undergo counseling.
I wish your situation will change soon. There is always HOPE. God bless you and your family.- InHistime

First, let me be clear that I am not a professional mental health professional. Someone in your situation--feeling trapped and with no one to turn to--needs to consult a licensed, professional counselor to work through your issues with a neutral party. While this board is very supportive and (often ) quite informative, it is no substitute for working through your troubles with another human being in real life. You will never regret going to counselor and you deserve the help.

That said, my impression is that you cannot blame yourself for your husband's outbursts. Regardless of what you are or are not doing, the fact that he cannot communicate without violent outbursts is on him, not you. You are not making him have outbursts; his own immaturity and other issues are manifesting themselves through outbursts. You are collateral damage, not the target.

Abuse is not just physical. It sounds very much like you are in an abusive relationship. You need to come to terms with that and stop blaming yourself for his failings. The best way to do that is through counseling. After you are strong enough to see the situation objectively, you can then make a clear-headed decision as to whether you should try to work through counseling with him as well. It sounds like he needs counseling just as much as you do, and your relationship certainly does. If he cannot agree to counseling, you have to protect yourself and move on.

Now, depending on how bad things are, leaving him right away and seeking counseling (hopefully with the support or some family or friends) may be an even better option. Separating and seeking counseling will not make you lose your child. He is misleading you on divorce laws and using such threats to further abuse and cow you. It is far, far more common for the woman to win the child in American courts, regardless of whether the father is the income earner. Given his clear record of creating an abusive environment for you and the daughter, he is likely in a precarious position in regards to custody. Definitely consult local divorce attorneys. Meet with two or three to get a feel for how they would evaluate your case--you'll likely be shocked to see how different divorce proceedings are than what your husband makes them out to be.

So, in summary:
(1) find counseling immediately.
(2) consult divorce attorneys.
(3) make a clear headed decision about what is best for you and your daughter.

And stay strong. You are not alone in suffering through this type of situation. Things can and will get better.

Was just wondering the same thing. If i ever had any respect for this VJ member, it's evaporated now.
And side note: if any person can't feel homesickness as deeply as another it doesn't mean noone can. Not everyone has an emotional range of a teaspoon.

Yes, I do agree with Mimolicious. If she is a scammer of GC, I don't think she would like to come home and behave this way. She will try her best to act well, and will surely get her GC before leaving.
She is homesick, that is very natural. It is exciting when you are about to go to America, but after few weeks, we all start longing home, the foods we use to eat, all the comforts we use to have, especially if we are very independent. It's not easy to keep waiting at home, without doing anything to create and provide financial benefits to the households.
I think the OP should extend his patience to her wife, have more communications, love, support, and understanding. VJ Slowlyman gave good advices.
This is a very critical time, cos if she cannot survive this adjustment, she would really tried her best to come home. Not everyone is the same in coping up with adjustment and loneliness. Other individuals are very determined and strong, but some individuals easily get homesick, like me. But with strong support mechanisms from petitioners, I see positive adjustment.
Just sharing to the OP, I also experienced similar situation.... entering 1-3 months while I was in the US, I kept on crying.....tears just fall, but, I guess if my ex Fiance was sensitive enough of my feelings, I think I stayed and got married as that was the ultimate reason why I went there, to be with him. But I didn't like the way I was treated, it wasn't genuine, most of the times, I was accused of things which I didn't even do. They were very mean and didn't appreciate how I tried to help and blend with them like in doing household chores, instead they tend to show off that they don't like me doing nice favors as part of their households.
The unfavorable environment contributed to the emptiness I felt in my heart. I used to be a happy person, I could even smile at my own mistakes, but in the US, my ex Fiance and family showed me that life had been so hard and cruel to them. I heard them always complaining of the government / work benefits,etc. As if they were always stress on thinking of all the expenses and bills. They felt like not happy living in the US.
Thus, I was so afraid to commit mistakes in using their things at home, because they tend to easily get mad. I live a good life, and have a nice paying job at my home country, I am not rich, but I do have enough means to do what I want, so I just thought why not just come home than to see them stressing life everyday. I think life should be enjoyed and take it easy despite of such challenges. I am always a grateful person, so I appreciate the kind of life I have no matter what my situation is, but seems they were so stress of life. Maybe my ex Fiance and I have different perspectives in life, and I didn't know that before I came to the US, as we always get along in all our views before.
Additionally, I am an independent woman, I manage my own finances. But in the US, I have become like useless, I never had given the trust and confidence to start my life. I am glad that I made a good decision to come home and didn't marry. I am well and thankful to God.
Just sharing to the OP how it feels....your wife, could be feeling just homesick. Just continue to treat her well, maybe bring her to counseling to relieve what's inside her heart and mind. Maybe she was having a culture shock, or whatever. Don't ever give up yet. She will get over it, with your loving support. Maybe plan more trips to the Philippines once you have time and money. God bless.

I have read many of your comments in the recent past, every single one of them you suspect the beneficiary had some ulterior motive and they are only out to scam their significant other. If someone was going to scam they wouldn't go through the entire process, get married, and then decide to just leave to go home without adjusting status. Scammers don't do that, they do everything in their power to get that green card in hand and then follow through with their plan. If she was going to scam her husband why on Earth would she go home with no hope of coming back unless a new petition was filed, and then go through the entire process AGAIN? You need to stop trolling threads accusing everyone of being a fraudster.

Tuck, I'll share my thoughts and personal experiences, but unfortunately it all comes down to the two of you. At the end of the day the TWO of you will make it work or you won;t. Nobody can do it for you.
Our first three months together were hell, the next three months were slightly less hellish. In the next thee months my wife asked how she can file for divorce. Twice my wife has taken herself to the airport. Marriage made in heaven right?
There is so much at play here that you have no idea about.
I do not subscribe to the idea these girls plan these things out. I think they have every intention of making a life with us. But, the reality of middle class life in the US is very different then they imagine it to be.
Those of us who like to travel and experience new cultures don;t realize how traumatic this move is for family based cultures. We live alone and like. Asians not so much. They love the family, social aspect of their life. Suddenly it's just the two of you. Face it your not that charming after a long day of work.
Most likely she is bored, lonely, and homesick. mostly homesick.
You also need to consider what is going on in the background with her family. Are they pressuring her for money? After all, now she has a rich American husband she should be building a new house for mom, buying motorbikes for her siblings, etc. If she is torn between her responsibility to her family and to you, who does she choose?
I am completely convinced my wife would have left in the first three months had it not been for a couple Thai girls here in town who knew exactly how to handle her. Finding that support system is crucial to the adjustment. You can tell her truths over and over, but they don;t ring true until she can hear it from her sisters. My wife thought I was lying about having to make a mortgage and car payment each month. When the Thai girls told her it was true, then she believed me. She couldn't understand how I could afford to stay in Thailand for months at a time, go out party, eat, tour, etc. but in the US I had to live on a budget. What really made it real for her was finding out the other girls work two or three jobs so they can have a house and car and "stuff".
My wife is very independent. She had her own business. Car, motorbike, etc. she could go and do as she pleases. Suddenly she is completely dependent on me for everything. money, food, transportation. I'm sure you don;t treat her like a slave, but she could easily feel like one.
When my wife asked to go back home for the umbteenth time. I said ok, but we have put so much time into this process please wait until the AP comes through otherwise it's a one way trip. I said the day you get the AP, if you still want to go home I will buy a ticket. The AP arrived, she put it on her wallet and she is still here.
Tuck, this process is much more difficult for her then it is for you. I'm sure there is more going on in the background then you are aware of. You have to be the better person here. Turn a blind ear to what she says and try to hang in there.
If she is intent on self pitty there isn;t a lot you can do. But Phils girls are by nature fun and light hearted. You just need to find that part of her again.
A few ideas:
Get a tablet for her
Set up a facebook account for her
Set up a skype account for her
Get her on the phone with her family
Get her access to native tv programing. Movies, tv shows, etc. If she spends all day looking at soaps, thats ok.
If she won;t go out to meet local Phils natives, ask a few to come to your house. They will know just how to handle her.
Give her an out. Do this and this for me, if you still want to go I will buy the ticket. Give her some control over her life.
*** Self serving Soapbox moment ***
For those of you who do not have a spouse from a poor country. Please refrain from comment like "she planned this" "this doesn't sound right" "she has an agenda" etc. If you come from a wealthy western country, you have a skill and a good job, you have no idea of the dynamics at play here. You need to spend time in these cultures to understand them. Our western morals and attitudes just don't fit in all situations. So please, be supportive and respectful. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let Tuck decide if she is genuine or not.
*** Stepping off soapbox ***

Hi there, Misha's girl Well, I do understand and respect how you feel, but everyone in this forum is entitled to say their own opinions / suggestions / ideas. It is the call of the OP to follow or not. He was asking advise in a public forum, thus, expect to receive diverse inputs. Everyone here has different ideas, cultures and beliefs.
I didn't say that I'm in favor with the OP's room mate actions, if that is true, as we only heard one side of the story, and we haven't seen any objective evidence. I just believe that God is still in control of the situation.
I strongly still stand for my opinion, that is just me. I am a person who always try to make peace. And if I cannot help anyone to correct their wrong doings, then I try not to put them down, as long they aren't harming me and my family. Again, that is just me. I hope the OP will be united soon with his wife, in His time. God bless us all. Have a happy new year.

Hi OP, I think before you report her, you should ask yourself.... are you doing this because you want to help the government ? or are you doing this because you feel "envy" of her, while still not being done with your wife's petition? Being envy with someone isn't good. If you really want to help the government, then I think you should also help ICE in doing their jobs. I'm pretty sure there are so plenty of illegal immigrants, hiding somewhere. You may want to know where they are and how can they be deported.
If she is a killer, drug dealer, abuser, kidnapper, etc, I would definitely report ASAP without reservation.
She is your room mate. You never know what exactly she is going through. Life is hard sometimes. I suggest you talk to her nicely and see how you can help her to make things legal. If you cannot help her on doing what is right and best for her, then please leave her alone. As long she doesn't harm you, it is her life, not yours. You have your own life to focus. Don't be bitter because your wife's petition is not done yet. It takes time sometimes, and you have to understand that.
Mind you, If she continues doing illegal things, she will definitely reap what she sow -- it is stated in the bible. Now, if your heart really desires to report her, just in case, do you think you can help her to ease the possible consequences of deportation as you mentioned she got kids and grandkids to support. Don't make things complicated, if your conscience cannot handle it. I am not supporting her, but I just think we people should think deeply before we do something. If we cannot help, then let it be. Let God handles it.
I suggest this is the time that you need to look for another place to attain peace in your heart and mind. Hope this 2014, our God will grant the desires of your heart to be united with your wife. Have a blessed and prosperous new year.

I'm not sure why any of this still matters to you. You are divorced. Whatever USCIS does, it is between him, and his new wife.

Bless your heat Guvnor.
OP came accross as a vindictive ex.
Do obese 50 plus year old USC Women deserve no love or being married to alleged adonisque Russians?
To answer OPs question, he will get scrutinized surely and deservingly but he should sail through if he's in a solid relationship now.
Please move on. You've divorced him, reported him. Done deal.

1. She isn't going to live in the U.S.2. You aren't going to live in Peru.
3. Get a divorce and move on.
Clear?

Ohhh girl, I am on tears while reading your very sad story. I really understand where you are coming from. I know how it hurts you so much especially it was christmas time. I wish I could give you a hug right now. I know it is easier said than done, but I pray that you will be strong to overcome this struggle and pain you are having now. As always, there were already red flags from the beginning, the fact that he lied to you before marriage, wasn't worth pursuing him to get into a serious relationship, like marriage. Truth shall always prevail and will come out, no matter how much we hide it.
Begging someone to love you back is not that simple. Love should come naturally and genuinely from his heart. Do you think going to counseling will help save the marriage ? Does he goes to church ? Is he a practicing christian man ? I'm asking this because I believe only God, through his faith, can change his heart, not even you and the people around him.
If his decision is final, then you have to move on. Start by accepting the reality, fix yourself, and have more faith in God. Please don't look yourself down, even you were rejected. It's his loss, not yours. The fact that you have tried working out to save the relationship, forgiving him despite of what he did, was an honorable thing you did as a good loving woman. That is enough NOW.
You have to be strong, value and respect yourself. Don't worry too much about your GC. If it is meant to be, God will work it out and connects you to people who could help. This is not the end of the world. I hope this 2014, you will make a wise long term decision for yourself. Coming home is best solution I see. Take care and God bless you.

Ohhh girl, I am on tears while reading your very sad story. I really understand where you are coming from. I know how it hurts you so much especially it was christmas time. I wish I could give you a hug right now. I know it is easier said than done, but I pray that you will be strong to overcome this struggle and pain you are having now. As always, there were already red flags from the beginning, the fact that he lied to you before marriage, wasn't worth pursuing him to get into a serious relationship, like marriage. Truth shall always prevail and will come out, no matter how much we hide it.
Begging someone to love you back is not that simple. Love should come naturally and genuinely from his heart. Do you think going to counseling will help save the marriage ? Does he goes to church ? Is he a practicing christian man ? I'm asking this because I believe only God, through his faith, can change his heart, not even you and the people around him.
If his decision is final, then you have to move on. Start by accepting the reality, fix yourself, and have more faith in God. Please don't look yourself down, even you were rejected. It's his loss, not yours. The fact that you have tried working out to save the relationship, forgiving him despite of what he did, was an honorable thing you did as a good loving woman. That is enough NOW.
You have to be strong, value and respect yourself. Don't worry too much about your GC. If it is meant to be, God will work it out and connects you to people who could help. This is not the end of the world. I hope this 2014, you will make a wise long term decision for yourself. Coming home is best solution I see. Take care and God bless you.

Ohhh girl, I am on tears while reading your very sad story. I really understand where you are coming from. I know how it hurts you so much especially it was christmas time. I wish I could give you a hug right now. I know it is easier said than done, but I pray that you will be strong to overcome this struggle and pain you are having now. As always, there were already red flags from the beginning, the fact that he lied to you before marriage, wasn't worth pursuing him to get into a serious relationship, like marriage. Truth shall always prevail and will come out, no matter how much we hide it.
Begging someone to love you back is not that simple. Love should come naturally and genuinely from his heart. Do you think going to counseling will help save the marriage ? Does he goes to church ? Is he a practicing christian man ? I'm asking this because I believe only God, through his faith, can change his heart, not even you and the people around him.
If his decision is final, then you have to move on. Start by accepting the reality, fix yourself, and have more faith in God. Please don't look yourself down, even you were rejected. It's his loss, not yours. The fact that you have tried working out to save the relationship, forgiving him despite of what he did, was an honorable thing you did as a good loving woman. That is enough NOW.
You have to be strong, value and respect yourself. Don't worry too much about your GC. If it is meant to be, God will work it out and connects you to people who could help. This is not the end of the world. I hope this 2014, you will make a wise long term decision for yourself. Coming home is best solution I see. Take care and God bless you.

Hey Boiler, that is why she came on this forum to ask if she has rights ? OP doesn't have idea about the "effects"... on the worst-case scenarios.
OP, I can feel your circumtances. Am not sure if your marriage is still workable, you are the one who knows it. Since you both are now married, I hope the two of you will try and try working out, not giving up that soon. Marriage should be a lifetime bond. A marriage has to be work out continuosly, it will never come to perfect though. By learning to accept each other especially in tough times will definitely make the relationship better.
HOWEVER,
Just in case it didn't really work out, then you should get ready yourself to come home. Make sure your husband files divorce to free you. As a good gesture, I hope your husband will get you a ticket to get home, if not, hopefully you could source out, maybe your aunt can help you.
With your situation now, I hope you don't allow yourself to get abuse knowing that you need him to get your GC. I have read stories here, wherein, bitter petitioners tried controlling the immigration benefits of the immigrants.
There are also beneficiaries who accused their petitioners of "abuse", thus filing for VAWA, even it isn't true, just a way to get the GC. You are the one who knows the truth and your cimcumtances.
The best thing if it didn't work out prior to obtaining GC is to come home. GC is nothing if you are not happy. Always respect and value yourself. A good husband should protect you, not make you feel neglect and miserable.
I hope this 2014 will give you light and hope. Pray to God for guidance and strength. You will be fine in the end. Happy new year !

John, if you are set on going home, file and get a divorce before doing so, just to make sure you can keep visitation rights and continue to be a part in your kids' lives.
Consider contacting your consulate in the US and asking for repatriation assistance. Many countries do so and it might be a better alternative than to roughing it up in NYC.
If you have considered staying in the US and pursuing residence, consider speaking to an immigration lawyer, who can give you advice as to whether you qualify to apply under VAWA.
On a positive note, that you have decided to to something to stop the abuse is already an indicative that this year promises to be somewhat better than last.
Good luck whatever your decision.

Yeah, Gowon, I do understand your perspective on this. Thank you for your great concern to the beneficiaries especially to those who are sincere and who came to America because of Love. May your tribe increase.
Nevertheless, that is how the system works. Maybe it is not meant to be. Give thanks to God in all circumtances. God knows best and still in control. We just need to learn our lessons and be happy still. Thanks and happy new year !

Yeah, Gowon, I do understand your perspective on this. Thank you for your great concern to the beneficiaries especially to those who are sincere and who came to America because of Love. May your tribe increase.
Nevertheless, that is how the system works. Maybe it is not meant to be. Give thanks to God in all circumtances. God knows best and still in control. We just need to learn our lessons and be happy still. Thanks and happy new year !

Hey, Gowon, you've got points in your idea. However, I think there should be an extensive research to be conducted, like percentage of unsuccessful relationships from K1, causes and effects, etc....whatsoever.
In my case, I am thankful that I came to the US on K1 visa, not CR1. If not, I might be filing for a divorce and more heartaches and expenses.
Yes, K1 visa is risky by chance, if the beneficiary intends to come to America solely to immigrate, not purely because of love, or maybe both love and immigration. It depends on the situation / status of the beneficiary.
CR1 is much safer for the beneficiary if he/she is not set to come home once marriage fails or not working as expected.
It is a case to case scenario. On my behalf, at least, I wasn't married to him yet, and when I realized it wasn't worth of my sacrifices, I was able to come home faster, and not deal with any hassle of getting divorce. I was able to come back immediately to my work at my home country, which really sucks if I didn't get it back as I really do have a good and stable job here. Out of love, I tried to come to the USA thinking it will work out (of course, at the beginning I never thought it wouldn't). But things changed when I arrived in the US and I didn't like how I was treated. I left confused and felt not ready to marry and so I came back before 90 days. So for me, K-1 is better.
In short, it really depends on the situation of the beneficiary...how stable he / she in her home country, or does he / she wants to immigrate to US, or maybe any other reasons. At any rate, I'm thankful I got the chance to enjoy shopping and see a little of beautiful spots in America. I came home devastated, but I would never regret of my decision in coming home. Everything happens for a reason. And I got mine. Thanks VJ friends.

Giving you the advise I would give my own sons
cancel the process now, One does not go into a
marriage with uncertainty,trust issues and it
seem there's no undying love going on here.
There was a bit of nostalgia and pressure that got
you into this marriage, financially its all on U
send a certified letter to uscis to stop the process
and sign nothing more.
You have to choose someone you are certain of so there
can be happiness , trust & genuine affection