didopage

How could you let a scumbag who lives thousands of miles away treat you like a doormat?
Geee, pick yourself up, leave him, and live your life happily! You deserve someone better. Love yourself and put yourself first this time.

Listen up. Long distance relationships can be difficult, and at times, stressful. My wife and I were apart for 2 years before she came here. We had our fights, but we always, always, always worked it out together to find resolution. I never told my wife "I don't want to talk about it." That is the worst thing one can say as it stops communication. In my opinion, the long distance is not making him aloof and neglecting. He is taking your love for granted because he believes he "has you where he wants you."

We did our K-1 via a visa service, but we both still had our share of work to submit to the visa service. We worked together, stayed up late discussing our evidence and details. To tell you the truth, by working together, we became more close and committed to the idea of being together. What has he done to help your K-1 process? Nothing. As you say, you did all the paperwork. It is you who were committed to the idea of being together, not him. If he wanted you here as a loving wife, he would have gotten off his butt and helped with the paperwork. It's not like he had a job to go to, like I did, where doing the paperwork after a hard day's work could be immensely taxing. If he cared about your approval, he should have been the one working on the paperwork.
Oh and by the way, you can surely state that my wife is lucky, but in my opinion, I am the lucky one, I am the luckiest man alive to have such a wonderful woman like my wife. She is my world, my everything and I would follow her to the end of time. No task is too daunting, no conversation is too dull, and any time with her is time worth spending. For example, I hate shopping. I downright despise it. But my wife loves shopping. My wife cannot drive, she has this fear of driving. So guess who has to drive her and accompany her shopping? You guessed it! Now I may be a bit cranky when we shop and she will say things like, "You hate me, don't you for taking you shopping?" And I'll say, "I don't hate you, I just hate shopping. But I also love being with you, so it's not so bad."
Now If you go to the USA I can almost guarantee you the following scenario:
1. You arrive in the USA and decide to stay the 90 days.
2. You drive "home" to his mom's house where you live with his other brother and sisters.
3. He will be all nice and lovable, just as he was when you first met. But don't be fooled, this is an act.
4. After 90 Days, you may decide to marry him. (Big Mistake)
5. After you marry he will not file your AoS because you guessed it, he can't afford it because he still wont have a job.
6. You may think about taking "cash" jobs to help pay for the AoS, and when you have enough money, your AoS still wont happen because he is too busy saving the fantasy world of Aezeroth on his computer to fill out and sign the paperwork.
7. You will then be out of status, illegal, and jobless. You may have been foolish enough to actually have kids, and this is right where he wants you. Why?
8. Because now he can threaten to get you deported if you leave. And if you leave, you cannot come back because you will be out of status, and possibly banned from the USA. You also wont be able to take your children with you even if you decide to leave because he would have to sign permission for you to take them (the children would be US Citizens). As a non-Citizen, you have no say in their travel, and taking them to another state can be considered kidnapping.
9. He'll have you there as his own personal housewife and servant. Occasionally he'll do something nice when he feels you cant take it any more and want to leave, at which point you may "go back to him," hoping he will change, but he won't, trust me.
There are many scenarios not too different form this right here on VJ. As a psychologist, I can tell you, from what you told me so far, that his behavior is classic manipulative, and you should proceed with caution. If you do go to the USA, and want to see his true colors, I advise you to:
1. Use your $4000.00 to find a cheap apartment/rental/motel in his neighborhood and stay there. If you are in the "lion's den (his mom's home)," you will feel obligated to listen to him and his family. They may even coax you into marrying him. You need your own place any way to shower and have privacy.
2. DO NOT under any circumstances have sex with him. Tell him that if he loves you and are worth waiting for, he will wait until you are married. If he presses the issue, use your round trip ticket and go home.
3. Make it clear to him that after 90 days if he does not have a full time job, and an apartment/house of your own, it's over and you are on the next plane to France.
4. Tell him to give up video games for 90 days. If he can't make a small sacrifice for you now, he wont make big sacrifices later, like when he has kids. To ensure he gives up video games, tell him that his game console and PC must stay with you in your hotel room.
I give him 20 days before he shows his true colors.
I might also add, that as a real man, I am bound to behave like a man. A real man adores and respects his woman and would do anything for her. A real man cares enough to provide for his wife and children. A real man supports his wife's goals and ambitions. A real man thinks about the future of his family. A real man communicates his thoughts and desires so that nothing is misunderstood. Finally, a real man makes time for his wife and children, nothing is more important, not a job, not his parents or siblings, not even a video game. Think about it, do you want a real man or a little boy? You are a strong, independent woman with ambition. You need a strong, independent man who will support your goals as well as have his own goals to accomplish. Think about it.

Oh, goodness. I'm sorry. But please re-read what you've written here and imagine a friend or sister or someone explaining it to you.
He wants you to be a stay at home mom and yet he is unwilling/unable to even support himself. Just *trying* to take the first step in supporting just himself (finding a job) was "too stressful". Can you imagine? That would be the beginning and end of that conversation for me.
From a quick google search, it looks as if there is nothing preventing him from being able to live in France if he were to marry you. He doesn't have to prove any savings, or at least not according to the French consulate in DC: http://www.consulfrance-washington.org/spip.php?article470 He doesn't speak the language? That sounds like a personal problem, to me. There is no requirement that he speak French to live in France (to become a citizen, I bet, but there's other legal status available). Furthermore, that is a very fixable personal problem. He can learn French. Literally billions of people on the planet speak more than one language. And with a little effort on his part he, too, may join their ranks.
"As a woman, it's different". End of conversation for me, too. If he'd feel like a slave as an illegal immigrant unable to work, he needs to understand you'd feel that way too. (PS, see above. He can get legal status). I don't believe in double standards, particularly not on the basis of gender and most especially not if the person talking that kind of nonsense isn't living up to the flip side of that coin (which is "as a man, he should be supporting himself, and not let "stress" keep him from being alpha-male provider". Instead, he's still suckling at Mommy's teet! Big man there). He wants a stay at home mom, sure. FOR HIM. He doesn't want a family to provide for....he wants a mother-wife to always take care of him.
Please. You are much better off living in a country with a job and legal status than you ever will be living illegally with someone who plans to "support you" as a stay at home mom but shows zero effort to actually provide that support.

As others have said, he's too immature and lazy to be a good husband. And he told you the process made him "stop loving you". Really?!! Apology or not, his true colors are shining through. If I were you, I'd stay right where I am. Good luck!

Sympa ton voisin. :-) Le numero de dossier sur la lettre du NOA ne marchera pas, c'est explique dans la lettre. Il faut attendre la lettre de rvd pour les biometrics, il y aura un numero de dossier different.

Oui nous avons fait la traversee avec le Queen Mary 2 depuis Southampton UK. C'etait juste magique. L'arrivee a NYC, passage sous le Verazzano Bridge puis a cote de la statue ... etc. Nous avions le choix de debarquer vers 10h30 mais vu que nous etions debout depuis 4h du matin nous avons prefere faire le "self disembarkation" qui a eu lieu aux alentours de 7h30. Une fois passee la premiere inspection par une douaniere super cool (a l'americaine quoi), j'ai ete envote en secondary pendant que mon epouse et mes enfants attendaient dans le hall principal. Apres environ 25mn d'attente le douanier (moins cool celui la, legerement "cretinus"!), a pris mes fingerprints, puis m'a fait rasseoir. 5mn plus tard il m'appelle et me tend mon passeport. Apres m'avoir fairt verifier ma mailing address une seconde fois il me dit " You're good to go." Je n'ai pas eu droit a mon "welcolme to America" mais je n'en attendais pas autant
Et bien voila, la conclusion de un an et demi d'attente et de stress permanent pour avoir mon visa mais sinon la fermeture de notre parenthese francaise qui s'etait ouverte il y a plus de dix ans deja avec un depart force des USA.
Arrive ici je me suis immediatement senti "at home" donc voila, happy to be back.
I'll be around!

That's the red number on the visa.

That's the red number on the visa.

Le vaccin contre l'hepatite B n'est requis que pour les enfants (moins de 18 ans). Si tu as plus de 18 ans, tu peux oublier. Le medecin cochera la case "not age appropriate" lors de la visite medicale.
Si tu as moins de 18 ans, les vaccins ne sont pas requis pour obtenir le K-1 (car techniquement visa non-immigrant). Ils le sont pour l'AOS donc s'il te manque des vaccins requis, il faudra les faire pour l'AOS (pour avoir la green card).

illegals were getting benefits LONG BEFORE Obama was in office. Good Lord this is the most ridiculous thread, ever. You watch far too much Faux(Fox)news and Bill O'Liar(O'Reilly)

1. If Obama uses the word illegal to describe a human being then it doesn't automatically mean I do. So what is your point ?
2. Sorry but your Fox rhetoric of "messiah" is ridiculous.
3.There you go again with the Obama phone, I guess you didn't read the link I posted to enlighten you.
I really can not take your comments seriously, you are all over the place. Rantings and not well thought out ideas.

Come on ! Stop with the Obama phone lie for Pete's sake.
This is what happens when you watch too much Fox, you can't tell truth from fiction.
You don't bother to do your own research.
It started under the Bush administration and was funded through the Universal Service Fund, which is administered by an independent, not-for-profit corporation set up by the Federal Communications Commission. The USF is sustained by contributions from telecommunications companies, long distance companies, local telephone companies, wireless telephone companies, paging companies, and payphone providers.
http://www.factcheck.org/2009/10/the-obama-phone/
As to the core of your point, the undocumented issue and DACA, Obama is not the first President to try to keep families together that are
documented with undocumented family members. Big whopping deal ! I waited 5 years for my now spouse and we were treated unfairly with
this immigration system but I will always remain in favor of DACA. The problem is that the service centers aren't operating with common sense
and change needs to happen but I will not make undocumented kids and teenagers the scape goats.
Congress isn't putting anything on the table so Obama came up with his own version. If the GOP would stop bitching and start
coming up with bills instead of fear mongering political theater played out in the media then we would all be better off.
By the way it's a lot about romancing the voters and no party really gives a hoot about the true issues because they aren't
political "talking points" that get them votes.
http://www.factcheck.org/2014/11/obamas-actions-same-as-past-presidents/
The last thing we need is a Republican in the White House.

no we don't. George W ruined this country and we are still paying for it

I have not contacted her. My fb profile was a photo of the both of us too. I have changed it. I was tempted to contact her but my sister told me not to do it. The dates the pictures were posted, confirmed that he was seeing her when we were together. As someone said, I don't have the strength for a 3 way battle.
I cannot take to hear anymore lies and I don't want any details. He didn't deny it, he just kept apologizing and pleading. I just want everything to go away.
The papers will definitely not be filed.
I sent him a text, to not call or contact me. In my heart I know I am done.
Thanks for the words of advice and prayers

The new packet 3 doesn't mention anything anymore about the I-134. Good idea to fill one out anyway, adding the supporting documents (last pay stubs, letter from the employer, tax returns, ...), it can't hurt. :-) If they don't ask for it at the interview, good! If they somehow do, well, you'll be ready!

No more chronopost envelope, and documents in french or english are accepted at the Paris Consulate!
Keep in mind that you will need english documents only once in the US (Adjustment Of Status, after being married, to get a green card).
And welcome here!

C'est pour ca qu'on est sur ce forum, pour s'entraider. :-) On stresse souvent sur des petits trucs mais prends chaque etape une par une, et lis bien les instructions. Si un truc n'est pas clair, un petit tour sur VJ et hop c'est regle !
J'ai fait un tas de recherche en utilisant la barre de recherche sur VJ, pour le K-1, l'AOS et le ROC, y'a souvent deja un tas de gens qui ont eu les memes problemes donc on trouve souvent la reponse. Apres pour la partie qui est "country-specific", ce topic-meme est une perle.
Bon courage a toi ! :-)

Terri. I'm going to be real with you.
Granted you may not like a single thing I'm going to say here, but here goes.
I don't really care if your story is legit or fake, okay? I'm not one to question whom one falls in love with and the differences they may encounter.
You have consistently posted misleading and evasively contradictory statements. As this is a site where people generally care about each other and want to help: there are things that YOU need to clear up or this will not continue in a positive manner. Help people help you. Or don't. If you don't then no one will be able to help you or continue taking you seriously.
I can guarantee to you, that the United States government does not care one iota about your hardships or difficulty, how good you think your photos are (real or photoshopped), or the circumstances regarding why you can't be in the same room or have to stand below a balcony with a person you say you want to be your husband. They don't care about roses or towels or love stories. They do not care how much you think you love him and how much you think you can make this work. They don't even care about the money you sent with your application either.
What they care about is fraud, people becoming a burden to their system, and the protection of their citizens.
Under the theme of fraud - many things you have stated raise red flags. Severe red flags, that I don't believe a person viewing your petition would be able to overcome positively without more information. Reality can be painful and harsh, but that's the way things are. The people who have sent petitions in here, and have been waiting for months and years to be with their loved ones, they have endured extreme hardships, painful separations, differences in cultures, and scrutiny. Don't think for a second that people don't understand the reality of hardship, because they do. This is something we take seriously. No one here wants to be hostile with you, but you're making it impossible for a person not to react that way.
I've had my say now, and I think what I've said is fairly reasonable and polite, if you are willing to calm down and actually start answering questions that do in fact pertain to if your case will be successful or not. Because trust me, it isn't about who's uncle ran off with whom right now, or even religious differences that you even need to be concerned about at the top of the list -- it's a whole host of other things. As it stands now, there is a high likelihood your case will not be successful. Sorry, but that's how life is.

it is spam, do not trust!

Is a lie. You can leave. You just won't be permitted back into the country & will then have to file for a Spousal Visa to return. Basically, it's a horrible idea to leave for any reason without AP or the GC.

Fox News strikes again. Everything is Obama's fault.

Si tu habites a Paris, pas besoin de la faire la veille du coup. Pas 3 mois en avance non plus. :-) Le point a savoir c'est que si tous les vaccins requis sont a jour lors de ta visite du K-1, tu pourras te re-servir du document qu'on te donnera (la secretaire du docteur te donnera une photocopie de ta Vaccination History) pour l'AOS une fois aux US et marie(e). L'AOS peut prendre du temps, des fois meme un an, et ta visite medicale doit dater de moins d'un an au moins de l'adjudication de ton AOS. Ce qui explique qu'au cas ou ton AOS prenne longtemps (c'est rare quand meme...), mieux vaut ne pas faire sa visite medicale du K-1 trop tot avant l'interview. :-)

Thread moved to Europe & Eurasia regional forum and merged with French/American Couples thread.

Mumu, t'es qu'une vieille chieuse et c'est entre autres à cause de toi que je ne viens plus sur ce forum.
Mais franchement je ne te souhaitais pas çà.
Faut que tu règles une chose après l'autre. Y a que comme çà qu'on arrive à se dépétrer d'une situation de ce genre.
1. Fous le dehors. Tu ne peux pas vivre et régler tes problèmes comme çà.
T'as acheté une maison, c'est chez toi ? Dis moi que vous n'avez pas acheté une maison à deux.
2. Règle le problème des impots. C'est pas aussi grave qu'en France de ne pas payer ses impots ici, tu peux faire une "amend".
Tu vas payer une taxe en plus c'est sûr et encore si tu expliques ton cas à l'IRS a mon avis, ils vont te l'enlever.
Si je comprends bien tu ne peux pas déclarer les impots 2013 "jointly" ? Il l'a fait lui séparément ?
Tant pis, fais le séparément.
3. Entame une procédure de divorce tout de suite ! Faut voir dans ton état si y a pas un pré-requis de vie séparée avant, par exemple chez moi il faut avoir vécu séparément au moins 6 mois avant de pouvoir divorcer.
C'est pour çà, fous le dehors tout de suite !
4. Tu peux tout a fait demander la carte verte de 10 ans en étant divorcée mais il faut que tu sois divorcée à ce moment là.
Donc c'est tout simple en fait, fous le dehors, entame une procédure de divorce le plus rapidement possible.
Et règle le problème des impots.
C'est les deux conditions pour toi pour passer le ROC.
Voila.

Ca depend des aeroports. A SFO, y'a une file "New Immigrants" ou normalement il y a quasi personne (rien a voir avec la file Touristes ou Citizens/Residents) mais le jour de mon POE, aucun officier ne nous a remarque. Du coup on est passe dans la file Touristes, et du coup on etait les derniers.
3h d'escales, c'est bien je trouve. Bon apres y'a toujours le risque d'avoir son premier vol en retard mais bon.
Ca prend pas forcement longtemps pour les K-1, perso ca a du prendre 5 min max. Tu montres ton visa, donnes l'enveloppe, l'officier l'ouvre, tamponne tout ca, te pose quelques petites questions et bam c'est fini. Aussi vite qu'un passage "normal" :-)
Possible que tu passes dans leur bureau pour qu'ils verifient tes papiers (j'avais lu ca pour d'autres), mais c'est pareil, ca prend pas tres longtemps.