psychasthenia

I liked the 24 hour period in which Gary had (accidentally?) friended me. It was puzzling, yet oddly touching.

I noticed some time ago you checked mine. It has been a source of mild amusement ever since.

I don't have any photos on my profile. I'm not that insecure that I have to try and convince people that I have a successful life.

Your life is not as interesting to everyone else as you seem to think it is.

I don't know, I'm always suspicious of a man with strong opinions about women's shoes.

Yes he is, and that article lays everything out in very easy terms to understand. I agree with everything he said and that's also why I'll be another moderate Republican voting for Obama.

shrug, go to bed
But if Obama wins re-election, I'm so going to be on VJ for the meltdown

Shame there's no valet nor coat check in.

PhilN, I did scold you. That's true. I have an issue with non-professional people diagnosing psychological conditions. That's the narcissism in me speaking
I hope that you follow through and actually separate from this woman. Irrespective of her diagnosis, your relationship is very unhealthy.

You are heavily fixated on manipulation and seem to see it everywhere around you. That's quite interesting for me.
People who agree with your points of view are innocent people who fall prey to manipulative tactics. People who don't agree with you are the manipulators (who use manipulative tactics). You tend to see things in black and white. It's gotta be good. It simplifies life quite a bit
For me, it is clear that our conversation is absolutely meaningless. I am not really sure what you are trying to convince of. There is nothing that you will ever teach me about BPD. When you or PhilN will write on here about the difference between borderline personality organization vs. borderline personality disorder vs. borderline personality traits, I will take both of you seriously.
I only intervened in this conversation because of the BPD talk. If at least one person who reads here understands that BPD is a heterogenous category where people have different levels of impairment and respond to treatment idiosyncratically, I am happy. Some people with BPD outgrow it with age. Others benefit from treatment. Other people will never be able to adaptively manage the emotional dysregulation. You will not know how one particular person with supposedly BPD will respond to help. The ridiculous thing in this whole conversation is the fact that the poster's fiancee was actually diagnosed by her fiancee. He also happens to have zero background in psychology.

Rlogan, personality disorders are by definition clinical. I know that you have read a lot of psychology/self-help books, but that does not make you a psychologist. You make sweeping statements that are completely unfounded. There are people with BPD who have outgrown it. It happens. There are people who have BDP traits, and not the whole disorder. Treatment outcomes vary. From the poster's description, you do not know much about this woman. You know only his version of events, and it's extremely biased.
I appreciate your posts. I have read several of them; however, let mental health professionals talk about psychiatric diagnoses. The few or so books you have read - do not qualify you to speak about this area.

Phil N, I am having some difficulty believing some of the things you write here. I find it quite interesting this need of yours to pathologize your former fiancee. Why are you trying to diagnose her? This is actually showing control issues on your side as well. By "diagnosing" her, you are creating a power differential in your relationship and identifying her as the "problematic" one. It's also interesting to see how much you externalize the responsibility for this situation. If this person meets criteria for borderline personality disorder, then there would have been signs about her relational issues throughout your relationship. You chose to ignore them for whatever reason. I would suggest you look into that. You seem to be provoking this woman as well, which suggests you have your own issues that you cannot address in an adaptive way.
I would think that if you genuinely suspected a personality disorder, you would have encouraged her to meet with a bona fide professional who could help her. It seems like you live in the Seattle area. In that case, you may know that there are several training clinics that provide therapy at a sliding fee scale. You are in no way qualified to make psychiatric diagnoses. I hope that your diligent reading about BDP highlighted that while this is a serious condition, there are several highly effective treatments for it. Linehan's program is only one of them.

Phil N, I am having some difficulty believing some of the things you write here. I find it quite interesting this need of yours to pathologize your former fiancee. Why are you trying to diagnose her? This is actually showing control issues on your side as well. By "diagnosing" her, you are creating a power differential in your relationship and identifying her as the "problematic" one. It's also interesting to see how much you externalize the responsibility for this situation. If this person meets criteria for borderline personality disorder, then there would have been signs about her relational issues throughout your relationship. You chose to ignore them for whatever reason. I would suggest you look into that. You seem to be provoking this woman as well, which suggests you have your own issues that you cannot address in an adaptive way.
I would think that if you genuinely suspected a personality disorder, you would have encouraged her to meet with a bona fide professional who could help her. It seems like you live in the Seattle area. In that case, you may know that there are several training clinics that provide therapy at a sliding fee scale. You are in no way qualified to make psychiatric diagnoses. I hope that your diligent reading about BDP highlighted that while this is a serious condition, there are several highly effective treatments for it. Linehan's program is only one of them.